We’re a product of our environments. Nature vs. nurture is always being cited with regard to this characteristic or that. A visit home put me in contact with several family members and it occurred to me that I might interview them about romance novels in an effort to see if there were any commonalities. So, I asked them a couple of questions… What do you think of romance novels? And why? Here’s what they had to say (their answers have not been revised in any way):
I find them - what’s the word? - boorish and I don’t ever want to read one. It’s personal taste more than anything else. For the little amount of time that I have available to read for entertainment, it would not be my choice. I would choose fantasy.
I like them. Because they’re kind of a way to escape everyday things. Some of the experiences of other people you can relate to because you’ve had similar experiences.
Why bother? Because I’m not interested in reading about other people’s romances.
For the most part, I think they’re really trashy, but there are some that are fine. If they are good interpretations of society, I think they’re very unfortunate, but for the most part, I think they’re poor interpretations of how love is intended to be.
I like romance novels. Because they appeal to my feminine side, and I can have a hope that I can have the same kind of relationship.
If they’re good romance novels, I love them. They’re so much fun. If they’re bad romance novels, they’re bad books and bad books are just a waste of time. They’re good if they’re interesting. I don’t think it’s a bad literature vs. good literature thing.
I definitely like them because they appeal to my feminine side. And they’re just really sweet and I like that.
Relatives not interviewed: The nephew was asleep, but today he read about Samson, which could be a romance story. The SIL was watching American Idol and was not available for comment. Also, one sibling MIA due to work commitments.
A few demographics: I didn’t attribute the answers because I thought that would make a more interesting representation. Among those who supplied them, though, we cover a range from teenagers to age 50-something. We have both genders. Occupations include students, a customer care representative, a pastor, a nurse, and a computer programmer. Educationally, participants span junior high to graduate degrees.
So, this is where I came from, and it seems we have quite diverse opinions about the genre. What do you think your family would say?
My family may be the exception instead of the rule when it comes to reading romance.
My grandmother and an aunt lived with us when I was a child. Out of the 7 people in our home 6 read romance (my brother is the non-romance reader, but he also read voraciously).
My brother has never voiced an opinion. With so many avid romance readers (including our dad) he knows better than to say anything negative.
My husband is the only person dumb enough in my world to actually comment negatively about romance. “Not real writing…same book over and over… not the real world…(like reading Stephen King brings you into “the real world”). And the wonderful “She grabbed his throbbing…” well, you know. The only time a romance novel touches his body is when I hit him in the head with one to shut him up.
Two of my BILs (my husbands brothers) are avid readers and I think some of what they read overlap into romance (Horror–vampire and werewolf and Sci-Fi), but I don’t think they would admit it, and they are certainly too polite to comment one way or another. We’re not really sure where my husband came from–he may have been hatched by aliens.
The rest of my husband family aren’t readers, and wouldn’t know a romance novel or any other work of fiction if they tripped over it, let alone have an opinion–very sad if you ask me.
by Tara Marie May 27th, 2005 at 8:33 amMy teenage daughter doesn’t read romance, but she loves chick lit.
by mary beth May 27th, 2005 at 9:39 amMy poor husband used to be fine with romance but now he just wishes I didn’t spend so much $ on my books.
My mother and grandmother both love inspirational romance.
My brother and his wife both love romance. They just love all good books.
It’s fairly easy for me to know where my family lies. My sister isn’t much into reading at all. She spends all her time with animals. My father likes to read first-hand accounts of military history (which end up really being a sleep aide), my mom will read the occassional romance but prefers books on crafting and my paternal grandmother reads cookbooks for fun.
BUT my paternal grandfather loves romances and mysteries and my maternal grandmother loves sweet romances. If anyone else in the family is reading romances, their keeping it a secret.
by Shelly May 27th, 2005 at 9:46 amI have 3 sons and a husband. All say blech to romance. LOL Guys. My mom and dad will read ones that are recommended to them as good reads. One of my SILs is a book snob, the other enjoys romance but as a registered nurse going to school full time to become a Nurse Practitioner, and having a family, etc., etc., doesn’t get to read like she would like to. My brothers–they’d give the same reaction as my boys, blech. My uncle more or less disowned me for writing erotic romance, but that’s another story.
My mom and dad are proud of me, and that’s what counts. 
by Cheyenne McCray May 27th, 2005 at 10:10 amThe rest of my husband family aren’t readers, and wouldn’t know a romance novel or any other work of fiction if they tripped over it, let alone have an opinion–very sad if you ask me.
Reading through Tara Marie’s comment, and the above bit caught my attention. Even though we don’t necessarily agree on genre, everyone in my family is a big reader. And that was an interesting thing that I hadn’t thought about especially. So, my environment as I was growing up certainly fostered and encouraged my current book addiction (now I know who to blame!). It also seems to me that just about everyone that I think of as a close friend are bookaholics. Hmmmm….
by Jennifer Jackson May 27th, 2005 at 10:25 amMy dad thinks the important thing is that a book be a “good book” rather than what genre it’s in. (This is *so* much harder to buy for than someone who reads by genre!) His main complaint about romance is that it’s hard to tell which are the well-written ones, because they don’t get the same press as other genres.
My mom dislikes romance — and especially my favorite genres of fantasy/sf/paranormal romance — because she thinks it’s a waste of time to read about things that didn’t actually happen (or even worse, couldn’t actually happen). The same scorn is given to fantasy, science fiction, horror, and to a lesser extent mystery. She reads biographies, humor, and cookbooks.
My brother thinks they’re boring because not enough happens in them. He’s into spy stories and political thrillers. Hmmm. I bet he’d like the Silhouette Bombshells!
by Jennifer Dunne May 27th, 2005 at 10:40 amIt was kind of sweet that before my dad died, he turned to romance novels, especially ones by Barbara Delinsky, for comfort and affirmation. He had always been a big reader, but it was usually the Clive Cusser-Tom Clancy variety. I think Delinsky’s books gave him the positivity he needed while battling cancer.
My mom was not a big reader but shared my dad’s previous fondness for the action novels.
My sis is a voracious romance reader and she’s all over the place–LUNAs, Blazes, Bombshells, Nora Roberts, chick lit — you name it, she’ll read it.
My hubby’s family likes gentle romances — set in countrysides without any overt sex and cussing.
by Karmela Johnson/MasterPuppeteer May 27th, 2005 at 10:51 amMy husband jokingly refers romance novels as “porno books”. I have to hold myself responsible for that because I encouraged him to give it a try by lending him Linda Howard’s HEART OF FIRE. *slaps forehead*
by MĂ ili May 27th, 2005 at 10:58 amI don’t know what the rest of my family thinks, even though they do know I read romance novels. It’s largely a ‘best left unsaid’ thing. Oh, my mum is a long-time fan of Georgette Heyer’s books, but she doesn’t consider these ‘romance novels’, though.
Let’s see, my husband reads romance novels on occasion because I buy them and they’re here. He’s more enthusiastic about sff though. My parents and sisters don’t read romance at all and are a little puzzled that I do. In fact, they’re not really genre readers. Ten year old son is appalled by all notions of romance. Preteen daughter has read a few Meg Cabots but isn’t overly interested in romance right now.
by Jorie May 27th, 2005 at 11:27 amMy mother’s opinion would go something like this: I don’t read those books, unless you write them. I prefer ‘real’ books (ie suspense). My sister reads them and enjoys them, but it wouldn’t be the type of book she’d immediately go for in a bookstore. My father and brother don’t read novels, only magazines and newspapers. My dh prefers cyber-punk and sci-fi. Father-in-law loves adventure novels. Mother-in-law reads across the board.
by Jordan Summers May 27th, 2005 at 1:18 pmMy late mother and grandmother each had particular romance authors that they loved and looked to me for suggestions of other authors they might like. My aunt and a couple cousins also felt the same. My brother has promised to read my books, but it could take him a few years. He doesn’t have much spare time to read and he might still be working on the biography of John Quincy Adams. My older nephew wants to read my book and we’ve deemed him old enough to deal with the fact that his aunt writes love scenes.
I’m not sure that I’m ready to deal with him reading them. LOL
by Mary Stella May 27th, 2005 at 1:24 pmI inherited my love of romance from my Grandma Bell. She had stacks and stacks of books littered all over her house. My mother probably won’t even read what I’ve wrote. They have sex in them, you know. My sister only has time to read her finance reports and managerial papers. God bless her. My dad doesn’t read at all. He used to but has since quit.
by Crystal* May 27th, 2005 at 3:47 pmMy friends are extremely interested in reading what I’ve wrote-romance. If they didn’t know me, I couldn’t see them reading it. My kids are dying to read my books, but they’re pre-teen. Heh
I can’t wait to see the opinions on the erotica I’m working on. Or not.
Grins*
My mother would rather slit her own wrists than read romance books (including my own, lol) but my grandmother loves them. (Maybe it skips a generation?)
by jennifer May 27th, 2005 at 3:54 pmMy daughter yells ‘YUCK’ if she reads a part with kissing in it. Yep - it must skip a generation.
My late mother read everything: romances, mysteries, whatever sounded good to her. My fil reads romances. Once I gave him a bag of books and he complained about the mystery I stuck in there, lol. Last Saturday, my bil told me he only reads “classics.” Snob.
by Edie May 27th, 2005 at 3:59 pmHmmmm, well, I think it’s all in how you define “romance”. Some people automatically think of short Harlequin/Silhouette books. My SIL is one of them. When I told her I sold a romantic suspense novel, she said, “Oh, I don’t read those little books.” When I named some of the single title authors at Ballantine, who also write romantic suspense, she said, “Oh, that’s different.” She never put together that “romance” went beyond category length books.
My husband doesn’t read romance, though to give him credit he’s read the my books, even my awful first manuscript. The only fiction he reads is Michael Crichton and westerns. Though I’m in the middle of Koontz’ VELOCITY and I think he would like it a lot. He prefers non-fiction. (and he also watches boring documentaries that put him to sleep).
My mother reads anything and everything. She wants to be entertained. I gave her CURIOUS INCIDENT and she read it, but said she didn’t want to learn anymore, she’s 60, she just wants to relax when she reads. LOL. She introduced me to some of my favorite writers, including Tess Gerritsen and Linda Barnes and Linda Howard and Nora Roberts and Julie Garwood and Janet Evanovich. Basically, the big single title romance and mystery writers. She also loves straight mysteries, like Faye Kellerman and Jonathon Kellerman and Sue Grafton — she owns all their books in hardback
My FIL will read almost anything, but he doesn’t say he reads romance. For him, I’d say if there’s a romance in the book he wouldn’t turn it down.
My uncle is a high school English teacher. He doesn’t “do” commercial fiction of any kind.
My other SIL reads books of all kinds, including romance, but the books themselves have to fall into “good book” category like someone above mentioned. If it’s good, she’ll read it, regardless of the genre.
by Allison Brennan May 27th, 2005 at 5:51 pmThe family isn’t available, but I can speculate. (also not attributing)
“I love Gone with the Wind.”
“Not enought action in Romance.”
“I read Angel/Spike slash, does that count?”
LOL My family all reads, and reads a lot, but none of them are really genre Romance readers except me. Oh well.
–June
by June May 27th, 2005 at 7:12 pmI remember when my father found out I wrote erotica, he looked at me and said you write porn? Actually, one time he came up to my computer when I was away from it and started to read.
“This is sex,” he said when I came back.
“Yes, dad. It’s sex.”
“You’re reading porn.”
“No, dad.”
I also remember when my friend came over, and just blurted out in front of my dad. “So how’s the gay erotica coming?”
Me: “… Fine.”
Dad: “…”
That was a fun afternoon!
by Gina May 27th, 2005 at 9:13 pmMy mother was a reader of romance. The last conversation I had with her was just two days before she passed away in 2001 at the age of 91. During the phone call, she told me she was sitting up in bed reading a romance novel. Mother was a big fan of the category romances, collected the books of Janet Dailey, read such series as “North and South,” “Wagons West,” and “The White Indian.” She called the more sexually explicit books “old ladies porn,” but didn’t pass judgement on them. When she was younger, she read more of a variety of books, including mysteries; she loved Earl Stanley Gardner’s Perry Mason books. My mother was one of the few memebers of her family who were regular readers. My grandmother read the newspaper and “Reader’s Digest.” My step-grandfather, however, read anything about the old west, fiction or non-fiction (he had been a cowboy in his youth, and briefly worked on the King Ranch in Texas).
My father died over 30 years ago. He was a great reader, mainly of the classics of literature. I credit him with my life-long love of reading. He was the one who took me to the library to get my first library card, and we went faithfully every two weeks to pick out new books. He introduced me to Charles Dickens, Willa Cather, Mark Twain, and other literary giants. I am not sure he would think much of romance novels, to be honest.
My son is a great reader, and has been since childhood. He reads historical novels, non-fiction, and science fiction/fantasy. We exchange many books in those genres, as I read many different types of books, not just romance. If it weren’t for me, he would probably not ever pick up a best sellling work of contemporary fiction (Nelson DeMille, for example). I have made him more tolerant of romance novels by discussing them with him, so he doesn’t put down the genre. Just like many/most men, however, he sees the sexually explicit books as soft porn, and frankly I can’t say that I totally disagree. I don’t read erotica or romantica, whatever you decide to call it.
My ex-husband, whom I haven’t seen in several years, came from a family of non-readers (my MIL thinks that books are dust catchers and a waste of time). When my ex and I first met, he had read one book for pleasure in his entire life! Twenty years later, when we divorced, he was a dedicated reader of sci-fi/fantasy literature, plus “Wagons West” and other series of the same type. He even read a few of my historical romances.
by Anne E. May 28th, 2005 at 7:27 amI doubt any of my male family members have ever read a romance. And except for my SIL, none of my female family members will admit to reading a romance and liking it. Both of my sisters think the only “real” fiction out there is either literary (younger sister) or inspirational (older sister).
My husband is a pastor to students and has a very stereotypical viewpoint of romances. Written porn. I have to constantly tell him what makes a romance novel isn’t the sex in it but the relationship between the two lead characters. Nicholas Sparks writes romances in the disguise of mainstream fiction. Yet he isn’t stigmatized like traditional romance writers are. That’s rather frustrating. Oh well.
by gina welborn May 28th, 2005 at 11:08 pmReally interesting topic!
by Jill May 29th, 2005 at 10:54 amMy mother used to read romances, but she loved the big, gritty medieval historicals that aren’t too common any more. One of her best friends used give her contemporaries that would just sit around the house. I picked up a Jayne Ann Krentz when I was fourteen and loved it. I had to eat all my words about mom’s “trashy books.” To my mom’s credit, she never rubbed it in or told me what I should and shouldn’t read. Her only concern that I not read anything that glorified violence. She has now pretty much completely switched over to mysteries, fantasy, horror and literary fiction. Just about everything but romance. She is still a big romantic at heart.
My Dad reads mystery and non-fiction. period. He definitely looks down his nose at romance novels, but he is pretty tolerant in the grand scheme of things.
My fiancee is wonderfully supportive of my romance reading/writing. He doesn’t read romance (mostly he reads Terry Prachett’s Discworld novels over and over again), but he remembers who all my favorite authors are, why I like them, what I’ve read by them, and what I want to read. He really is listening when I babble on:smile:
I got my fiancee’s sister to read Outlander and that’s pretty much my only success w/that family. Fiancee’s Dad likes non-fiction and Lord of the Rings, Fiancee’s Mom reads literary fiction and mysteries. I wouldn’t say they look down at romances so much as they don’t see the appeal. Fiancee’s Dad did ask me the difference b/t erotic romance and pornography a the dinner table the other day. I think I handled it pretty well
My Southern belle grandmother loaned me all of her Regencies while I was growing up and I loved them. Of course, when she reads single title, she has to add, “But I skip all of the sexual parts” (as if she’ll be going to hell in a handbasket if she were to admit otherwise).
All the women in my family read romances, and the men whine about why we don’t read real books. Yes, because reading about serial killers and spies who blow stuff up involves “REAL BOOKS.”
Oookay…
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