Comments on: Could we please stop hating the haters? http://www.romancingtheblog.com/blog/2009/11/17/could-we-please-stop-hating-the-haters/ What's hip, what's now, what's tomorrow in the romance genre world. Sat, 09 Jan 2010 20:26:04 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Chicklet http://www.romancingtheblog.com/blog/2009/11/17/could-we-please-stop-hating-the-haters/comment-page-1/#comment-34561 Chicklet Tue, 17 Nov 2009 21:48:31 +0000 http://www.romancingtheblog.com/blog/?p=3176#comment-34561 Well, there's posting a comment that calmly points out the original poster's misconceptions or level-headed disagreement with the poster's opinion, and then there's posting a comment filled with vitriolic language, misspellings, and incorrect (or no) punctuation. The former can do some good (provided the blog/community is open to reasoned debate); the latter only "proves" to the blogger/author that ________'s fans are idiots. You can guess which kind of comments I try to leave. :) Well, there’s posting a comment that calmly points out the original poster’s misconceptions or level-headed disagreement with the poster’s opinion, and then there’s posting a comment filled with vitriolic language, misspellings, and incorrect (or no) punctuation. The former can do some good (provided the blog/community is open to reasoned debate); the latter only “proves” to the blogger/author that ________’s fans are idiots.

You can guess which kind of comments I try to leave. :)

]]> By: Jess Granger http://www.romancingtheblog.com/blog/2009/11/17/could-we-please-stop-hating-the-haters/comment-page-1/#comment-34560 Jess Granger Tue, 17 Nov 2009 19:21:29 +0000 http://www.romancingtheblog.com/blog/?p=3176#comment-34560 To put something down to elevate oneself is the hallmark of a bully. The only way to defeat a bully is to show they have no power. I think it is good to point out misconceptions for what they are, but the most important thing is to not give away our emotional power. To put something down to elevate oneself is the hallmark of a bully.

The only way to defeat a bully is to show they have no power.

I think it is good to point out misconceptions for what they are, but the most important thing is to not give away our emotional power.

]]> By: Venus Vaughn http://www.romancingtheblog.com/blog/2009/11/17/could-we-please-stop-hating-the-haters/comment-page-1/#comment-34559 Venus Vaughn Tue, 17 Nov 2009 18:05:20 +0000 http://www.romancingtheblog.com/blog/?p=3176#comment-34559 Hallelujah! I've long since gotten over "defending" my choice of reading material. If someone doesn't like what I read... who cares? I probably don't like everything they read either. Further, to engage someone in an argument over my reading choices, implies that they have the right to comment on or judge how I spend my leisure time. As if! If they choose not to respect me for what I read - well, that's one less person in the world I have to bother trying to impress. Only 6 billion more to go. And what an easy way to weed out the closed-minded! Hallelujah!

I’ve long since gotten over “defending” my choice of reading material. If someone doesn’t like what I read… who cares? I probably don’t like everything they read either. Further, to engage someone in an argument over my reading choices, implies that they have the right to comment on or judge how I spend my leisure time. As if!

If they choose not to respect me for what I read – well, that’s one less person in the world I have to bother trying to impress. Only 6 billion more to go. And what an easy way to weed out the closed-minded!

]]> By: uberVU - social comments http://www.romancingtheblog.com/blog/2009/11/17/could-we-please-stop-hating-the-haters/comment-page-1/#comment-34558 uberVU - social comments Tue, 17 Nov 2009 17:45:27 +0000 http://www.romancingtheblog.com/blog/?p=3176#comment-34558 <strong>Social comments and analytics for this post...</strong> This post was mentioned on Twitter by eromance: Could we please stop hating the haters? http://bit.ly/3qIk0x... Social comments and analytics for this post…

This post was mentioned on Twitter by eromance: Could we please stop hating the haters? http://bit.ly/3qIk0x…

]]> By: Gerd D. http://www.romancingtheblog.com/blog/2009/11/17/could-we-please-stop-hating-the-haters/comment-page-1/#comment-34557 Gerd D. Tue, 17 Nov 2009 16:29:20 +0000 http://www.romancingtheblog.com/blog/?p=3176#comment-34557 I must that I did initally take some offense at the opening, I'm a long time Country fan and it gets a little sickening when people think just because they heard one bad mainstream song in their life time they have now a right to judge the entire genre. But it's kind of funny when you get to mention Johnny Cash to which you usually get the "Yeah, I like Johnny Cash, too" response from those people. What genre music do they think Johnny Cash played, for heavens sake? It's the same with Romance, some is tripe, some is genuinely entertaining, just like with every other genre. But I guess you're right, there's no point in hating the haters. I must that I did initally take some offense at the opening, I’m a long time Country fan and it gets a little sickening when people think just because they heard one bad mainstream song in their life time they have now a right to judge the entire genre.

But it’s kind of funny when you get to mention Johnny Cash to which you usually get the “Yeah, I like Johnny Cash, too” response from those people. What genre music do they think Johnny Cash played, for heavens sake?

It’s the same with Romance, some is tripe, some is genuinely entertaining, just like with every other genre.

But I guess you’re right, there’s no point in hating the haters.

]]> By: Ursula http://www.romancingtheblog.com/blog/2009/11/17/could-we-please-stop-hating-the-haters/comment-page-1/#comment-34556 Ursula Tue, 17 Nov 2009 16:17:48 +0000 http://www.romancingtheblog.com/blog/?p=3176#comment-34556 I am all for confidence. Lots of people spout off on all kinds of stuff on the internet. So? sometimes it's really funny, though, and in this case, what the guy posted: "Our books are shallow, whereas his books are deep. We have sold out, while he is willing to fight to the death for Realism and Integrity in Fiction." is hilarious. I am put in mind of someone wearing a "Realism and Integrity in Fiction" T shirt the way one our local patriots shouted "give me liberty or give me death". The gang rush to punish happens both ways. I think if you're going to open yourself up, some folks will take the shot. So while I self advocate for restraint and dignity, I know the reality is that if you put it out there, they will come. If you wind up with slings and arrows, you may have wanted to hold up on hurling the first shot. so it's hard to be sympathetic. Generally, I bypass the haters on all levels, but on some level, karma will have it's will be done, and if that means getting hammered, so be it. I don't think that means Romance authors are thin skinned. I hate to generalize that way. Plenty of us are out there, self confident, representing, without getting into the knock down drag out. But standing up for something you feel passion for is not a bad thing either. I am all for confidence. Lots of people spout off on all kinds of stuff on the internet. So? sometimes it’s really funny, though, and in this case, what the guy posted: “Our books are shallow, whereas his books are deep. We have sold out, while he is willing to fight to the death for Realism and Integrity in Fiction.” is hilarious. I am put in mind of someone wearing a “Realism and Integrity in Fiction” T shirt the way one our local patriots shouted “give me liberty or give me death”. The gang rush to punish happens both ways. I think if you’re going to open yourself up, some folks will take the shot. So while I self advocate for restraint and dignity, I know the reality is that if you put it out there, they will come. If you wind up with slings and arrows, you may have wanted to hold up on hurling the first shot. so it’s hard to be sympathetic. Generally, I bypass the haters on all levels, but on some level, karma will have it’s will be done, and if that means getting hammered, so be it. I don’t think that means Romance authors are thin skinned. I hate to generalize that way. Plenty of us are out there, self confident, representing, without getting into the knock down drag out. But standing up for something you feel passion for is not a bad thing either.

]]> By: Lynn M http://www.romancingtheblog.com/blog/2009/11/17/could-we-please-stop-hating-the-haters/comment-page-1/#comment-34555 Lynn M Tue, 17 Nov 2009 15:57:17 +0000 http://www.romancingtheblog.com/blog/?p=3176#comment-34555 I'm in agreement that everyone has a right to an opinion and even to express that opinion. It's what makes this ol' country of our so great. And those of us who read and/or write in a particular genre need to have the confidence in ourselves to turn the other cheek and ignore those who are clearly ignorant about things that I firmly believe they really have never even given a try. But for me, this isn't about people picking on a particular genre of books or music or TV or clothing or, heck, anything. To me, it's about people being outright rude and disrespectful to other human beings. Because there are polite and diplomatic ways to express your preferences without tearing down an entire group of people based on a difference of opinion. It's one thing to not like something. It's another to take that dislike and extrapolate it to imply negative things about those who do like it. Just because someone doesn't enjoy reading a romance novel does not entitle that person to imply that those who do enjoy reading them are in any way inferior, intellectually, emotionally, or even culturally. That's where my hackles get all riled up. It's the snobbery that so many of these "haters" display that really bothers me. Who do they think they are? Who died and made them the Kings/Queens of What Is Good and Worthy? So it's not that someone is picking on my choice of reading material that makes me see red. It's that they honestly believe that they are better than me because of it and they have no sense of shame or decency when they actually brag about their superiority. It's become shorthand, almost, for Culturally Superior folks to bash romance/graphic novels/reality TV etc. to prove that they are the coolest people out there. Whatever. I’m in agreement that everyone has a right to an opinion and even to express that opinion. It’s what makes this ol’ country of our so great. And those of us who read and/or write in a particular genre need to have the confidence in ourselves to turn the other cheek and ignore those who are clearly ignorant about things that I firmly believe they really have never even given a try.

But for me, this isn’t about people picking on a particular genre of books or music or TV or clothing or, heck, anything. To me, it’s about people being outright rude and disrespectful to other human beings. Because there are polite and diplomatic ways to express your preferences without tearing down an entire group of people based on a difference of opinion. It’s one thing to not like something. It’s another to take that dislike and extrapolate it to imply negative things about those who do like it.

Just because someone doesn’t enjoy reading a romance novel does not entitle that person to imply that those who do enjoy reading them are in any way inferior, intellectually, emotionally, or even culturally. That’s where my hackles get all riled up. It’s the snobbery that so many of these “haters” display that really bothers me. Who do they think they are? Who died and made them the Kings/Queens of What Is Good and Worthy?

So it’s not that someone is picking on my choice of reading material that makes me see red. It’s that they honestly believe that they are better than me because of it and they have no sense of shame or decency when they actually brag about their superiority. It’s become shorthand, almost, for Culturally Superior folks to bash romance/graphic novels/reality TV etc. to prove that they are the coolest people out there. Whatever.

]]> By: Liz http://www.romancingtheblog.com/blog/2009/11/17/could-we-please-stop-hating-the-haters/comment-page-1/#comment-34554 Liz Tue, 17 Nov 2009 14:53:25 +0000 http://www.romancingtheblog.com/blog/?p=3176#comment-34554 A few years ago, Orson Scott Card wrote a little editorial about how the New York Times list was a piece of crap, because the only authors in the top ten were hacks, like Janet Evanovich, Danielle Steele, Nora Roberts, and James Patterson. His piece was supposed to be in defense of JK Rowling, whose last Harry Potter book, for obvious reasons, had been relegated to the childrens' fiction list, but all I took away from it was his bitter resentment that books he didn't like dared succeed without his approval. For someone adamant about allowing books to succeed or fail on their own merit, he sure wasn't willing to extend that philosophy to all those "hack" writers. Well, except for the failing part. I think he would've been okay with the failing part. I guess it just goes to show that readers are a passionate lot. Find any series or book with a love triangle in it, and you'll find supporters on both sides who are a bit mad. On one Amazon forum a while back, I couldn't tell if the Team Edward fans actually liked Edward, or if they just despised anyone who dared like Jacob. Seemed to me they were more excited about having "won" the series than they were satisfied with the story, itself, and I still don't see what anyone could get from that. Zooming out a bit, I think some readers go too far in making the books they read part of who they are, so that when someone else dislikes what they read, they automatically take it personally. For example, sometimes the romance community, to me, feels more like a clique than a community. There are some people who seem to look at romance more than a genre they read, but a facet of who they are, and because of that, their point of view is limited to those confines they set for themselves, and for everyone else. Just as annoying as someone who's always dissing romance for being light and masturbatory are those romance readers who are all the time dissing literary fiction for being maudlin and pretentious. Live and let live, you know? A few years ago, Orson Scott Card wrote a little editorial about how the New York Times list was a piece of crap, because the only authors in the top ten were hacks, like Janet Evanovich, Danielle Steele, Nora Roberts, and James Patterson. His piece was supposed to be in defense of JK Rowling, whose last Harry Potter book, for obvious reasons, had been relegated to the childrens’ fiction list, but all I took away from it was his bitter resentment that books he didn’t like dared succeed without his approval. For someone adamant about allowing books to succeed or fail on their own merit, he sure wasn’t willing to extend that philosophy to all those “hack” writers. Well, except for the failing part. I think he would’ve been okay with the failing part.

I guess it just goes to show that readers are a passionate lot. Find any series or book with a love triangle in it, and you’ll find supporters on both sides who are a bit mad. On one Amazon forum a while back, I couldn’t tell if the Team Edward fans actually liked Edward, or if they just despised anyone who dared like Jacob. Seemed to me they were more excited about having “won” the series than they were satisfied with the story, itself, and I still don’t see what anyone could get from that.

Zooming out a bit, I think some readers go too far in making the books they read part of who they are, so that when someone else dislikes what they read, they automatically take it personally.

For example, sometimes the romance community, to me, feels more like a clique than a community. There are some people who seem to look at romance more than a genre they read, but a facet of who they are, and because of that, their point of view is limited to those confines they set for themselves, and for everyone else. Just as annoying as someone who’s always dissing romance for being light and masturbatory are those romance readers who are all the time dissing literary fiction for being maudlin and pretentious. Live and let live, you know?

]]> By: Elizabeth Jules Mason (MsMoonlight) http://www.romancingtheblog.com/blog/2009/11/17/could-we-please-stop-hating-the-haters/comment-page-1/#comment-34553 Elizabeth Jules Mason (MsMoonlight) Tue, 17 Nov 2009 12:20:17 +0000 http://www.romancingtheblog.com/blog/?p=3176#comment-34553 I didn't feel ashamed or upset reading that first paragraph. What came to my mind was the sheer overwhelming ignorance of the person who thinks that way. I feel the same about people who bash romance books. It's one thing to not care for a particular genre, its another to show your stupidity with ignorant statements as the first paragraph showed. When someone says they dont' like romance books - fine - I don't like French food. But when they take it to another level based on misconceptions, lies or just plain ignorance I don't think romance fans should shut up. Why shouldn't we speak up to dispell the misconceptions? Why not defend what we love and enjoy? I see nothing to be gain by shutting up and letting people spread false statements about something that I enjoy or something that has meaning to me. Its not about assorted opinions, its about defending a truth against a stereotypical lie that only feeds the negativity and does nothing to benefit anyone - fans or those who dislike romance books. I personally don't believing in being quiet about ANY misconceptions being spread whether its about books, people, politics, religion or anything. I have a rabid obsession with finding the truth in all things and when I hear falsehoods my brain sort of explodes. *grin* Can you tell this is a pet peeve of mine? Interesting and thought provoking post! :) MsM I didn’t feel ashamed or upset reading that first paragraph. What came to my mind was the sheer overwhelming ignorance of the person who thinks that way. I feel the same about people who bash romance books.
It’s one thing to not care for a particular genre, its another to show your stupidity with ignorant statements as the first paragraph showed.
When someone says they dont’ like romance books – fine – I don’t like French food.
But when they take it to another level based on misconceptions, lies or just plain ignorance I don’t think romance fans should shut up.
Why shouldn’t we speak up to dispell the misconceptions? Why not defend what we love and enjoy?
I see nothing to be gain by shutting up and letting people spread false statements about something that I enjoy or something that has meaning to me.
Its not about assorted opinions, its about defending a truth against a stereotypical lie that only feeds the negativity and does nothing to benefit anyone – fans or those who dislike romance books.
I personally don’t believing in being quiet about ANY misconceptions being spread whether its about books, people, politics, religion or anything. I have a rabid obsession with finding the truth in all things and when I hear falsehoods my brain sort of explodes. *grin* Can you tell this is a pet peeve of mine?
Interesting and thought provoking post!

:)

MsM

]]> By: MicheleKS http://www.romancingtheblog.com/blog/2009/11/17/could-we-please-stop-hating-the-haters/comment-page-1/#comment-34549 MicheleKS Tue, 17 Nov 2009 11:55:27 +0000 http://www.romancingtheblog.com/blog/?p=3176#comment-34549 Personally, I come right out and state I read and write romance. It's almost a 'I dare you to say something about that' challenge that I kind of enjoy. It can certaintly make for an interesting discussion but also be an opportunity to educate. Personally, I come right out and state I read and write romance. It’s almost a ‘I dare you to say something about that’ challenge that I kind of enjoy. It can certaintly make for an interesting discussion but also be an opportunity to educate.

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