How I despise country music! Is anything more annoying than a smarmy Stetson-wearing “hunk” wailing about turning to drink because his woman stole his unemployment check and his dog and ran off with his best friend? I’ll never understand how the people who produce that garbage can hold their heads up. And don’t even get me started on the listeners. From what I can tell, the typical country music fan has the brains of a sweet potato.
Before we go any further, I’m just kidding, okay? But just for a moment, let’s imagine that everyone reading this is a die-hard country music fan. Now–
Did my opening paragraph make you feel ashamed of your listening habits? Will it discourage you from buying Brad Paisley’s latest CD? Will it make you reconsider your dream of taking your songs to Nashville and getting them heard? And finally, do you believe that my foolish, mean-spirited words will have even the tiniest impact on the country music industry or its, uh, listenership?
I’m guessing most of you answered each of those questions in the negative. So why do we get so upset when people ridicule the romance industry? When they insist that any fool could write one of those “trashy little romance novels”? When they imply that the typical romance reader is a bored and boring individual of sub-par intelligence who has checked out of the real world because she can’t get a good man to love her?
Last week an author writing in another genre singled out my romance publisher’s guidelines for some heavy ridicule. His message was clear: Our books are shallow, whereas his books are deep. We have sold out, while he is willing to fight to the death for Realism and Integrity in Fiction.
Quite a few of my author friends were deeply offended and did their best to set the guy straight. Yes, his rant was a tad irksome, but he was expressing his own opinions on his own blog, and isn’t that what blogs are for? One of the things I hate about the internet is the way people leap into arguments on blogs they have never read before, leaving huffy comments because their friends have stirred them up and encouraged them to go over there and give that jerk a piece of their minds.
I cringe when I see romance readers piling on, coming from every corner of the internet to punish the hapless bloggers our friends have taken exception to. Is our self-respect so fragile that we must shore it up by slapping down everyone who ventures to express an unflattering opinion about our favorite genre of fiction?
There are times and places where a few well-chosen words can help build respect for the romance industry and its various subgenres. But I don’t think its wise for us to troop over to blogs we don’t ordinarily read and “tell off” bloggers who are complete strangers to us. When we rush into battle every single time somebody maligns the books we love, we risk appearing insecure and pathetic. And consider this: if a blogger really is mean spirited, she’ll “win” by making us angry. She’ll sit back and laugh at us all the more once she knows she’s controlling our emotions.
I’d just like for all of us to display a little more confidence, that’s all. We who read and write romance have no need to defend our choice. We don’t have to fight for and earn the right to hold our heads up. Tell a country music fan that you detest country music and she’ll probably just shrug and say, “Well, I love it.”
Maybe we romance lovers ought to do the same.
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Great post!
Instead of “piling on” we should let the numbers speak for themselves. Romance outsells other genres. In calling romance ’shallow’ the author is denigrating readers she wants to attract.
Why not spend more time crafting happy endings and less worrying about comments from the envious?
Personally, I come right out and state I read and write romance. It’s almost a ‘I dare you to say something about that’ challenge that I kind of enjoy. It can certaintly make for an interesting discussion but also be an opportunity to educate.
I didn’t feel ashamed or upset reading that first paragraph. What came to my mind was the sheer overwhelming ignorance of the person who thinks that way. I feel the same about people who bash romance books.
It’s one thing to not care for a particular genre, its another to show your stupidity with ignorant statements as the first paragraph showed.
When someone says they dont’ like romance books – fine – I don’t like French food.
But when they take it to another level based on misconceptions, lies or just plain ignorance I don’t think romance fans should shut up.
Why shouldn’t we speak up to dispell the misconceptions? Why not defend what we love and enjoy?
I see nothing to be gain by shutting up and letting people spread false statements about something that I enjoy or something that has meaning to me.
Its not about assorted opinions, its about defending a truth against a stereotypical lie that only feeds the negativity and does nothing to benefit anyone – fans or those who dislike romance books.
I personally don’t believing in being quiet about ANY misconceptions being spread whether its about books, people, politics, religion or anything. I have a rabid obsession with finding the truth in all things and when I hear falsehoods my brain sort of explodes. *grin* Can you tell this is a pet peeve of mine?
Interesting and thought provoking post!
MsM
A few years ago, Orson Scott Card wrote a little editorial about how the New York Times list was a piece of crap, because the only authors in the top ten were hacks, like Janet Evanovich, Danielle Steele, Nora Roberts, and James Patterson. His piece was supposed to be in defense of JK Rowling, whose last Harry Potter book, for obvious reasons, had been relegated to the childrens’ fiction list, but all I took away from it was his bitter resentment that books he didn’t like dared succeed without his approval. For someone adamant about allowing books to succeed or fail on their own merit, he sure wasn’t willing to extend that philosophy to all those “hack” writers. Well, except for the failing part. I think he would’ve been okay with the failing part.
I guess it just goes to show that readers are a passionate lot. Find any series or book with a love triangle in it, and you’ll find supporters on both sides who are a bit mad. On one Amazon forum a while back, I couldn’t tell if the Team Edward fans actually liked Edward, or if they just despised anyone who dared like Jacob. Seemed to me they were more excited about having “won” the series than they were satisfied with the story, itself, and I still don’t see what anyone could get from that.
Zooming out a bit, I think some readers go too far in making the books they read part of who they are, so that when someone else dislikes what they read, they automatically take it personally.
For example, sometimes the romance community, to me, feels more like a clique than a community. There are some people who seem to look at romance more than a genre they read, but a facet of who they are, and because of that, their point of view is limited to those confines they set for themselves, and for everyone else. Just as annoying as someone who’s always dissing romance for being light and masturbatory are those romance readers who are all the time dissing literary fiction for being maudlin and pretentious. Live and let live, you know?
I’m in agreement that everyone has a right to an opinion and even to express that opinion. It’s what makes this ol’ country of our so great. And those of us who read and/or write in a particular genre need to have the confidence in ourselves to turn the other cheek and ignore those who are clearly ignorant about things that I firmly believe they really have never even given a try.
But for me, this isn’t about people picking on a particular genre of books or music or TV or clothing or, heck, anything. To me, it’s about people being outright rude and disrespectful to other human beings. Because there are polite and diplomatic ways to express your preferences without tearing down an entire group of people based on a difference of opinion. It’s one thing to not like something. It’s another to take that dislike and extrapolate it to imply negative things about those who do like it.
Just because someone doesn’t enjoy reading a romance novel does not entitle that person to imply that those who do enjoy reading them are in any way inferior, intellectually, emotionally, or even culturally. That’s where my hackles get all riled up. It’s the snobbery that so many of these “haters” display that really bothers me. Who do they think they are? Who died and made them the Kings/Queens of What Is Good and Worthy?
So it’s not that someone is picking on my choice of reading material that makes me see red. It’s that they honestly believe that they are better than me because of it and they have no sense of shame or decency when they actually brag about their superiority. It’s become shorthand, almost, for Culturally Superior folks to bash romance/graphic novels/reality TV etc. to prove that they are the coolest people out there. Whatever.
I am all for confidence. Lots of people spout off on all kinds of stuff on the internet. So? sometimes it’s really funny, though, and in this case, what the guy posted: “Our books are shallow, whereas his books are deep. We have sold out, while he is willing to fight to the death for Realism and Integrity in Fiction.” is hilarious. I am put in mind of someone wearing a “Realism and Integrity in Fiction” T shirt the way one our local patriots shouted “give me liberty or give me death”. The gang rush to punish happens both ways. I think if you’re going to open yourself up, some folks will take the shot. So while I self advocate for restraint and dignity, I know the reality is that if you put it out there, they will come. If you wind up with slings and arrows, you may have wanted to hold up on hurling the first shot. so it’s hard to be sympathetic. Generally, I bypass the haters on all levels, but on some level, karma will have it’s will be done, and if that means getting hammered, so be it. I don’t think that means Romance authors are thin skinned. I hate to generalize that way. Plenty of us are out there, self confident, representing, without getting into the knock down drag out. But standing up for something you feel passion for is not a bad thing either.
I must that I did initally take some offense at the opening, I’m a long time Country fan and it gets a little sickening when people think just because they heard one bad mainstream song in their life time they have now a right to judge the entire genre.
But it’s kind of funny when you get to mention Johnny Cash to which you usually get the “Yeah, I like Johnny Cash, too” response from those people. What genre music do they think Johnny Cash played, for heavens sake?
It’s the same with Romance, some is tripe, some is genuinely entertaining, just like with every other genre.
But I guess you’re right, there’s no point in hating the haters.
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This post was mentioned on Twitter by eromance: Could we please stop hating the haters? http://bit.ly/3qIk0x…
Hallelujah!
I’ve long since gotten over “defending” my choice of reading material. If someone doesn’t like what I read… who cares? I probably don’t like everything they read either. Further, to engage someone in an argument over my reading choices, implies that they have the right to comment on or judge how I spend my leisure time. As if!
If they choose not to respect me for what I read – well, that’s one less person in the world I have to bother trying to impress. Only 6 billion more to go. And what an easy way to weed out the closed-minded!
To put something down to elevate oneself is the hallmark of a bully.
The only way to defeat a bully is to show they have no power.
I think it is good to point out misconceptions for what they are, but the most important thing is to not give away our emotional power.
Well, there’s posting a comment that calmly points out the original poster’s misconceptions or level-headed disagreement with the poster’s opinion, and then there’s posting a comment filled with vitriolic language, misspellings, and incorrect (or no) punctuation. The former can do some good (provided the blog/community is open to reasoned debate); the latter only “proves” to the blogger/author that ________’s fans are idiots.
You can guess which kind of comments I try to leave.