There was chatter on Twitter a few weeks ago that I found intriguing. I don’t recall who initiated the conversation or who the participants were, but the topic was how most romances end once the hero says I Love You.
Remember the song by The Carpenters, We’ve Only Just Begun? I remember it fondly because it was one of the songs I chose for the soloist to sing at my wedding, some 30 years ago. Just like the song, I think that once a couple has made a commitment to each other, not necessarily in marriage, their story has just begun.
The most memorable book I’ve read where the characters are already in an established relationship is Marie Force’s LINE OF SCRIMMAGE. Before saying what I liked about the book, I’ll point out that I’m not giving away more detail than can be found on the back cover of the book. The book begins with the characters in the midst of divorce and as the days before their final hearing dwindle, the hero wants to work things out. The heroine has seemingly moved on and is engaged to be married to someone else once the divorce is final. Back story is put into place through thoughts and conversations, and the pain and heartache they each experienced is very real; almost tangible at times. I thought the book was a wonderful example of the trials and misunderstandings that accompany a decade-old relationship, and the near-desperation felt when that relationship appears to be nearing an end.
Given how much I enjoyed Ms. Force’s book, I wish I could find more romances where the initial steps of the romance have already taken place and the parties are working to make their marriage/relationship work. Does anyone else want for more stories where the hero’s declaration of love comes earlier, concentrating more on the struggles that go along with holding onto a relationship than starting one?
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I think this premise is what Harlequin’s Everlasting Love line was about. The first book from that line was by Kristi Gold, and I think called Falling From Grace and it was about a couple on the brink of divorce who through a near medical tragedy found their way back to one another. I loved this line and was sad to see it absorbed into another line, and now that line seems to be phasing out the Everlasting Love flagged books.
I have the Force book in my TBR and now might have to move it up in my pile.
Sadly, I’m not familiar w/this line, Sandi – doubly sad that it’s been discontinued. I’ll look for the one you mentioned.
While I liked the premise of Force’s book, I found the two main characters to be very stereotypical, which dated the book for me and I couldn’t enjoy it. I felt like smacking the heroine quite a few times.
Tow older books that deal with a with a return to love theme are the imcomparable LaVyrle Spencer’s Bygones and Heather Graham Pozzessere For All Her Life. I liked that both the couples are older and experienced in life and willing to work through their differences.
I wanted to shake her a time or two myself, but very much enjoyed the manner in which the back story was handled.
I’ll check out the two books that you’ve mentioned – thanks for the suggestions!
To be honest, most of the time, no. I mainly read romance for the magic, the feelings of falling in love, those butterflies-in-the-stomach feelings. To watch one or both individuals struggle with those feelings and possibly even denying they exist until it becomes inevitable that it’s too significant to pass by.
Not that I want a fluffy, fairytale romance everytime, but something new, beginning. I think there are plenty of struggles dealing with that alone.
However I see your point. I suppose after awhile I too wonder about those characters and if they really did “make it”. We assume they do, because, well, the declaration of love is the symbol of the HEA. However that doesn’t mean it’s easy. And not all books nowadays have the declaration, so the HEA is even more tentative. Realistic, I guess.
So what I’m saying is that occasionally I wouldn’t mind reading about the relationship after the glow has worn off, and see how the couple deals with the compromise.
Always get me thinking early in the morning, Miss Laurie
Don’t get me wrong, Stacy, I love the “butterflies” too and honestly prefer them for the majority of my reading. However, I would like to have more “been there, done that, lost it, let’s work it out and do it again” books to choose from. I’m writing down the suggestions coming in!
I am becoming more interested in authors who DON’T put the wedding rings on after the Great Love Reveal. I find I’m bothered, especially when the h/h have had issues of respect and faith in each other, if their ending is “too happy” too soon. I don’t like a hero battering a woman emotionally through the book, saying, “I love you,” and getting her commitment after one conversation.
I don’t expect my romances to mirror real life (and Lord knows I never want to watch h/h go through couples’ therapy, unless it’s a comedy), but I can only suspend my disbelief so far. When I’m shouting at the heroine, “You should have made him WORK for it, Sister,” then I know that transition was too quick.
Sigh. Now I have to go back and look at the ending of my WIP again.
Agreed, Keri, too often the hero isn’t made to tow the line long enough – sometimes I find myself thinking there’s no way he’s not going to slip back into his old ways of taking her for granted!
Yes! I like variety. Having been married such a long time, my definition of romance is a lot broader now than it was, say, fifeteen or more years ago.
And I want it all!
So glad someone shares my thoughts on the subject – wonderful reflection on the difference a few years can make!
As always, a very thoughtful coloumn, Laurie. It’s odd that this topic has come up at this moment in time because the new work I’ve begun, the one you read the intro for, is this kind of tale. The couple is in a committed relationship that is now being threatened by a separation imposed by his work. I’m telling the reader their history via flashback and conversation, so you get to know what brought them to this place, and how incredibly difficult what they’re facing is going to be, a true test of their faith in love and life, provided I can get it right! I think “I love you” can come on page one and there is nothing “lost” to the reader if the relationship has transitions to go through, and let’s face it, there is always something new to discover about the person you love no matter how long you’ve been with them. New love is more easily threatened by misunderstandings and the simple confusion of not knowing – an established relationship allows for things much more complex on an emotional level. I have to say I love both styles, and depending on the author, they can be equally breath-stealing with their passion and beauty.
Hugs and Blessings to all… another good one, Laurie!
Always, Denysé
Thanks for taking time to stop, Denyse! There are so many things that go into making a relationship work, not all pretty and not always easy.
I love stories where the I LOVE YOU is not the focus. Yes, the jittery falling in love is wonderful but the grit and determination to stay in love is something that is often over looked. Marriage or commitment takes work. I like seeing characters deal with that too.
So glad we agree, Inez! I don’t want it in every book, but on occasion it’s just a nice change. And you’re right, it does take work!
I came in this morning to a flurry of emails saying, you HAVE to check out Romancing the Blog today! Thanks, Laurie, for the kind words about Line of Scrimmage. I’m so delighted to hear that you loved Ryan and Susannah’s story.
In what might be my next book, the hero and heroine say I love you on page 138 and then spend the rest of the book fighting for it. I personally enjoy writing and reading books where the characters raise the bar early enough in the story that we have time to see them fight for the relationship. I also like to see my h/h ALONE together–a LOT. You’ll always get plenty of that from me!
Thanks again for your endorsement of Line of Scrimmage. You made my day!
Marie, I believe I mentioned LINE OF SCRIMMAGE once before when discussing sports romances that I enjoyed, so I probably owe you for double duty! The next book sounds especially good and I’ll be looking for it – good luck with that!
Thanks for stopping and taking time to reply!
I didn’t know the ‘rules’ about wrapping things up when I wrote Finding Sarah, so I went ahead and wrote a sequel with the same hero and heroine continuing to deal with the relationship that had started in the first book. I guess since I love series mystery, where relationships grow and change over time, it made sense.
This sounds very good, Terry! Are these books that are available now?
Laurie, yes, both Finding Sarah and Hidden Fire are available in both digital and trade paperback.
They’re from Cerridwen Press and available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble.com among other places. Details, including first chapter reads, on my website.
Great topic, Laurie! I’ve never given it much thought. I’ve read Line of Scrimmage and LOVED it. I guess I don’t necessarily seek out books that are one way or the other, but if the story sounds good – I’ll give it a read. Actually, now that I’m thinking about it, I have read several books where the hero & heroine have an established relationship and are fighting to get back together or stay together and I do really like them, but I also like the books where you can re-experience the excitement of falling in love, especially since I’ve been married almost 20 years, so it’s been a while since we’ve had that newness. There are a lot of great things that come after that, but it’s fun to read about it sometimes.
Jamie! So good to see you! I’ve missed you in Cincinnati! You know, I’ve never sought out books with an established relationship either, but would like to read more.
Like Stacy, I also prefer the falling in love romances over the established relationships. There’s a magic in those first kisses, first touches, first awareness of love.
But I don’t need the hero to do the big poetic ‘I love you’ monologue. If the hero isn’t a big talker, he likely isn’t going to say it. Instead, he’ll show it again, and again, and again. It is the little things like the hero rubbing the heroine’s feet (without being asked or expecting sex) or sending for her mother when she’s expecting or…
Great points, Kimber! I prefer the typical romances as well, just like a little different taste of romance on occasion!
And I too love a hero who does those ever-important little things that make readers sigh!
Thanks for this post. It’s helped me crystallize my “I love you” preferences. I do like when the “I love you’s” come sooner in the book, but especially when one character says it or recognizes it waaay before the other one — okay, I like it when the hero says it first and the heroine takes much longer to admit it.
I do not prefer stories completely about long-married couples breaking up and getting back together. Because I am long-married, I know that solutions to nagging problems can be short-lived, and it’s all too easy to drift back into them, so I have difficulty buying into the happy endings. Also, the conflicts make me way too stressed out to enjoy. As a subplot, they’re fine (SEP and others have done some of those that I’ve enjoyed), but not as the main focus.
I hear you, Natalie, on the discomfort reading stressful, unhappy situations! What does that say for the writing in your opinion? I’m thinking maybe it’s uncomfortable because it’s written well, making you realize that the issues could be very real and/or that they could happen to anyone.
You nailed it. It’s all too easy for me to put myself there, and harder to believe that all will be well at the end.
I love established relationship stories, but more as a palate cleanser than as a regular daily meal. Maybe the ratio that seems to exist on the shelf now is a good one? Or maybe I’m just used to it. But I’m pretty sure if every book I picked up had the hero and heroine already married and trying to save the pieces, I’d get tired of it. But as it is, when I run across one from a Must Read author like Eloisa James’s An Affair Before Christmas, I get all excited!
You’ve said it so perfectly! “…but more as a palate cleanser than as a regular daily meal.” I’m not saying I want this w/every book I read, but on occasion it’s a nice change! Thank you for getting it!
Oh, and thanks again for the copy of CAN’T STAND THE HEAT you gave me at the COFW signing! I’ll be getting to it very soon.
One more thing, I’m heading over now to check out your interview in the COLS DISPATCH!
Morning Laurie. Great column. I think for me the magic of new love is always something special, but every once in a while I like to read something that shoes the “what happened next”. I also enjoy stories where the couple was involved previously, something happened for them to be not involved and they find each other again. You get then the old feelings explored as well as the new ones.
I love reunion stories too!! Thanks bunches for stopping!
Very interesting topic, Laurie! In the book I’m working on right now the secondary plot involves the parents of the heroine who are middle-aged and going through a rocky period in their marriage. They end up rediscovering the passion that had been lacking and I thnk readers will identify with the story. In the same story, the hero declares his love well before the end of the book… it just felt right but funny that you have this topic because I worried that the reader would feel as if the book could end there when in fact this is where the struggle truly begins.
Oh LuAnn, I’ll be looking forward to that one! Who doesn’t enjoy a few struggles and a little angst – all in the name of romance, right? lol
Hi Laurie – you always make me stop and think! I’ve only read a few where the couple were already in a romantic relationship. I really think I prefer the getting to know you books. I guess I’ve been married so long it’s good to read about the dating stage instead of the “real life” stage. That’s not to say that I don’t enjoy an epilogue to tell me what’s happening after the I do’s have been said.
Thanks for stopping, Lisa! I’ve been married “forever” too, so the getting to know you books are always nice. I just like a “let’s shake things up” book on occasion!
Personally, I’m a big fan of “second chance” books, books that explore a couple putting their relationship back together after a separation or a major rift. Stuff like Pam Rosenthal’s The Slightest Provocation or Tracy Grant’s marvelous Charles and Melanie series (Daughter of the Game/Secrets of a Lady and Beneath a Silent Moon).
Thank you, thank you for title suggestions! I’ll be checking them out, for sure!
Very interesting topic. For me as a writer, the only “I love you” that means the end is the I love you that means I am now willing to work through any problems that come up and I won’t walk away when things get hard.
So with romance, I do feel like you can have stories that tell about the first meet and the first commitment to each other, which hopefully is the eternal commitment, or you can have a story that comes in the middle and tells of the “recommitment.”
Basically, there are many different kinds of “I love you”s!
But since romance is about HEAs, we don’t always need or want to see the nitty gritty realism, as fascinating as that is.
Do you think some people find the trials and tribulations too real and thus don’t like them? I don’t mind a little drama, so long as no one is being humiliated or verbally abused or unfaithful. The act/issue that causes the problem has to be forgivable.
That is interesting because what is forgivable isn’t the same for all people. It’s always a very fine line to walk balancing conflict and hea.
I too loved Marie’s Line Of Scrimmage. You don’t get to see many books these days where the people have to find their way back to each other. You know life happens and things get in the way. I think that is why I loved this book so much.
I do like the getting to know each other too books as well.
Great blog Laurie
I love going on the journey with them, Judy, as they find their way back to each other, don’t you? So long as it isn’t too drawn out, then I tend to lose patience and interest.
Thanks!
I’ve read a couple books where the man says, “I love you,” and the girl looks at him and says, “You know you can’t just blurt that out and suddenly everything makes sense and is settled. We’ve got all sorts of stuff going on here.” And then they spend the rest of the book working out the problems they have (you know, plot and all that). I like it. It bears more of a resemblance to life, where saying I Love You doesn’t solve most problems, though it’s nice to hear.
Oh yeah, even the best relationships are hard work and require a little maintenance and fine-tuning!
Laurie,
At the VERY least, I owe YOU a signed copy of Love at First Flight. Let me know where you’d like me to send it (marie@marieforce.com)
Thanks for all the lovely support!
Marie
Aww, you’re so sweet. I have a copy of LAFF, but will be in touch. Thanks!
I love this topic. I have wondered this myself because some of my books explore the ups and downs of a relationship. Having been in a long term relationship, I have experience in this area of romance and that is what I like to write.
The romance story does not end when they say I love you.
kelleyheckart.com
Really?? People out there think most romances end once the hero says I Love You?
It all comes down to too much TV, where everything gets wrapped up in 30 minutes. LOL
I’m glad my relationship didn’t end when my significant other said I love you for the first time!
G.
Not that the romance/relationship itself ends, but romance novels are typicaly over almost as soon as the hero says I Love You – the book ends. I’m interested in some books that have more story *after* the hero declares his love. Is that clearer?
Virginia Kantra did one where the couple was on the verge of divorce, kids were grown, husband away a lot, and they were just about to end it, and they ended up working things out. It was very good. I forget the title but it was a military-themed book. It was well done (plus I had a crush on the hero in that one).
I enjoyed Ms. Force’s book too .. was a good one !