Tomorrow my in-laws will celebrate 50 years of marriage. Surrounded by their seven children, five “children-in-love†(the spouses), and nineteen living grandchildren, all resplendent in shades of gold, Mom and Dad will renew their wedding vows.
50 years.
Wow.
Such a momentous celebration has me thinking about mature love. Not just love that has stood the test of time, but also new love between mature parties. Why is finding love at advanced ages under-explored in romance?
After reading hundreds of romances–and I’m lumping in women’s fiction to help my cause–I think it’s safe to say romance heroines tend below the age of 40, averaging somewhere between 24 and 32. Heroes might be slightly older, but they too average somewhere in their mid-to-late thirties. When an author does take on a couple of say early 40’s, they’re referred to as an “olderâ€.
Sheesh! If 40 is older, what sayeth the romance community about love over 60?
Apparently not much.
Is there no market for romance among people age 60 and up? I find that hard to believe. For one thing, I’ve been pleasantly surprised to discover—through blogs, Facebook, and other social media—that a large number of romance and women’s fiction authors are themselves in their 40’s and 50’s, even older, including those just breaking into publishing.
Many authors are or have been married, and many are grandmothers. (Hope I’m not bursting anyone’s fantasy here.) Of those who are unmarried, I have to believe many still desire a happily-ever-after, still believe in the possibility of love. If they didn’t, how could they write romance?
Where are the stories about women who mirror the women writing romance?
Images of women over 60 today have changed in recent years. Think Tina Turner. Hillary Clinton. Cicely Tyson. Chita Rivera. (Did you see her at the Presidential Medal of Freedom ceremony? Hot!) These women look good, are healthy enough to engage in active, vibrant lives, and likely are not immune to Cupid’s arrows.
I would enjoy reading about how finding love changes with the wisdom of age and experience as the wind in a woman’s sails. How relationship challenges are different—and the same—at that age. How sexy and romantic men and women are, no matter what their age.
A few authors write boomer lit, but I have yet to find one who writes pure romance featuring mature characters.
Harlequin, which is always experimenting with new lines, should consider a mature romance category. Hot cougars. Sexy senior sirens. Older divorcees. “Late bloomers”. All still hopeful deep down to find enduring love. Think Diane Keaton’s more recent movies, like Something’s Gotta Give.
I think their recently defunct Everlasting Line was supposed to target this niche. I’m not sure what happened. Maybe it wasn’t marketed properly. (Can you say Romantic Times and AARP magazines?) Maybe the stories didn’t hit the right level of sensuality, or missed the mark in combining the experience of new love with a sense of adventure, comedy, or faith.
Surely I’m not the only romance reader who would find stories like these interesting.
Maybe I’m just getting older.
No related posts.
I can tell you what happened to the Everlasting line. Every book I read was either utterly depressing (cheating spouses, incompatible pairings, dead spouses, dying adult children, Holocaust) or mainly revolved around a secondary younger couple which learned of the ‘Everlasting’ love of their grandparents or some such through diaries, meaning the protagonists were either both dead or one of them was.
If that’s what they think mature love looks like…
I was extremely glad to see that line fold, and really unhappy that they folded it into the Superromance line, because the books they were chosing were every single one awful as in ‘I’ll never pick up another romance novel awful’.
Apart from that I’d love to read about older heroines. I’m in my late 30s and I’m starting to disbelief that an early 20s woman/couple really know what they need. But I really don’t want to read about the ‘more mature love’ that forgives adultery and other bs. I want to read about these people falling in love, not settling with the imperfect life they have (that’s why I detest women’s fiction, so depressing).
Well, I read for fantasy and in my fantasies, I’m younger (I AM younger – 38 but in my fantasies, I’m even younger than that). I’m also thin and have perfect hair. Oh, and I never have to use the bathroom or have that dreaded monthly visitor.
(Just read a vampire romance where there was a scene featuring that time of the month – ick, ick, ick)
I also am enchanted by those 50 year anniversary stories you read about from time to time. I tend to think ‘what would this romance couple be like in 50 years?’ Well, if they’re both in their 60’s, odds are… one or both will be dead. Not very romantic.
Man, no wonder everlasting folded! I thought it was supposed to be about the ongoing love journey of a couple – but as a love journey, not as a troubled journey. Of course, with no trouble, there’s no story, but it sounds as though they confused trouble with depressing. I think the idea of new love with older protags is a great one and I do think there would be a market for it. you just ahve to read the singles columns to know that the older go-getters are certainly up for it! HM&B – are you listening?
Two books I really enjoyed were Revenge of the Middle Aged Woman and The Good Wife by Elizabeth Buchan. She always writes about women over 50 and her stories always include romance.
Harlequin did publish one older romance that I know of:
http://www.ann-defee.com/somewhere_down_in_texas.html
It features a sexy grandma!
Growley Cub, I have to agree with you. Every Everlasting I read was depressing. No fun, no adventure, no comedy. I think that killed the line more than anything, although I’m also not sure whether it was marketed right.
Kimber Chin, that’s my point. Forget the anniversary/reminiscing stories. Let’s have some ROMANCE! Older folks hooking up with all the challenges–and hilarity–that might bring.
Yay, Imelda. You get it! Now if only Harlequin would…
Chicki, I have to look her up. Never read her but I’m curious.
Jennifer, thanks for the link. Another one to look up.
A book I desperately want to read by Lynn Viehl features an older heroine. Somebody buy and publish it, please.
Honestly, I think the key to these is marketing them as romance. Not “romance for old people”. Just putting them in whatever subgenre they already fit; romantic suspense, romantic comedy, whatever.
Most of my heroines (Silhouette Special Edition; and before that, the now-gone Intimate Moments) are in their thirties to pushing 40. But then, I write a lot of second-chance stories, so the gals would have to be older.
However, since many of my books have babies/kids in them (since that’s what *my* readers expect, both from me and the line), I pretty much need to keep the gals pre-menopausal.
Which is not to say I don’t think post-menopausal gals should be kept out of the love loop…so I often do secondary romances with older couples. Hah!
To be frank, though, I seriously doubt an actual line with older couples would fly, either with Harlequin or with readers in general. It’s not that there isn’t a market for “golden years” romances, but I don’t think that market is large enough to sustain a line at the sales levels Harlequin would require.
Over the years, I’ve learned that *most* romance readers really are in it for the fantasy, and that fantasy for older women includes stepping into a younger woman’s shoes, living vicariously the thrill of falling in love with a man who still has all his teeth, LOL. When most readers think of “HEA,” they want to imagine the couple together for a loooong time, not a decade or two. Readers want to be taken away from real life, at least to some degree, not reminded of it.
Since I’m in my late fifties, I’m totally on board with the idea of the AARP gang finding and living love. But from a marketing perspective, I’m not sure the audience is there as much as one might think.
Great post, Patricia!
A few weeks ago while on Eastern Long Island, we went to the beach (which was really kicking up the waves due to Hurricane Bill) and saw firsthand how dangerous nature can be. As we were leaving we saw an elderly couple, I’d guess over 75 or even past 80 (the husband walked with a cane) getting out of their car to take a look. We cautioned them to be careful because the waves were very dangerous; an over-70 member of our party had almost been knocked down by a wave.
As we got into our vehicles we saw the couple standing at the top of the dune, standing with their arms around each other, looking at the ocean. All of us commented on what a sweet picture they made, and the writer in me automatically started giving them a history.
I can see how past romances about long-married couples have tragedy and sadness as part of the plot. These couples have been through quite a bit together, and this is a part of life. My own parents outlived 2 of their 5 kids.) But it sounds like every book in the line followed the same formula. Too bad they didn’t shake things up a bit and have writers tell stories from a different, less laborious (sp?) slant. Old shouldn’t be synonymous with sorrow and loss. There should be fun, adventure, and sex (or at least a hint of it; I don’t think anyone would care much to be painted a picture in this case).!
As soon as I wrap up my present writing commitment, I will begin work on a proposal for women’s fiction that has to do with three generations of a present-day family, but concentrates largely on the humorous part of aging, with fictionalized scenes of incidents I witnessed in my own relatives. Wish me luck!
Bettye Griffin
http://www.bettyegriffin.com
I read and a reviewed a couple of the Everlasting romance novels from Harlequin and I enjoyed them very much.
I suspect there are plenty of romance novels with mature heroines out there, but they stay in the authors’ heads because it’s perceived there is no market. I think we’ll have a hard time convincing the big guys there is, but maybe an ePublisher would be willing to toss the net. Just look at all the other kinds of romances the ePubs have snagged which the big guys were afraid to touch.
I get the enduring love aspect, Karen, but hey, people are living longer and more active lives. I think that’s why so many magazines have been launched for women over 50 — More, Over 50, Goldivas.com, Fifty Times, etc.
Look at Oprah. She’s over 50. Does anyone see her and think, boy, she’s over the hill now. Her days are numbered? Marketing is all about changing perception and thereby, creating demand. It will happen when someone steps up to the plate with the right stories, right packaging, and right promotion. Can’t feature ladies that all look like the Golden Girls, unless they’re going to look like Blanche.
Totally agree, Charlene. Not “older romance” or “romance for old people”. Just romance. And in between the realities of creaking bodies and loss of memory, there needs to be sensual, adventurous, fun relationships.
Have you tried Jeanne Ray’s Julie and Romeo?
I suspect the trouble with Everlasting is the authors/editors were trying to hard to make the mature love story relatable to younger readers and bombed. I liked the two I read, but I can see how it’d get depressing if I read more like that. It’s contrived.
Shucks, I wrote a nice post that somehow didn’t get posted. To repeat:
A few weeks ago while on Eastern Long Island, we went to the beach, where Hurricane Bill was kicking up the waves. As we were leaving we saw an elderly couple, white-haired, him walking with a cane, getting out of their car to get a look. We asked them to please keep well away; the waves were quite unpredictable and almost knocked over a senior member of our group.
As we were getting into our respective cars, we saw the couple standing on top of the dune, facing the ocean, arms around each other. We all commented on how sweet they looked, and the writer in me began concocting a history for them.
I think it would be difficult, nearly impossible to build an entire storyline around a couple in their 60s or older. It sounds like the writers for Everlasting all followed the same formula, the one that traces their lives together, and unfortunately that is going to include all their challenges, sorrow, and loss. It’s too bad they didn’t allow writers to shake it up a bit. Even so, elderly couples married 50 years or more are probably best kept as supporting rather than lead characters. That way there’s plenty of room for the fun times as opposed to doom and gloom.
As soon as I turn in my current work in progress (next week), I will work on my proposal that’s about three generations of a present-day family. The focus is on the middle generation, but the parents will play a good-sized role in what will be overall a humorous story. Wish me luck! And yes, the story will probably include a scene of the parents at the beach, arms around each other as they watch the surf roll in.
Forgot to add, my very best wishes to your in-laws for reaching such a happy milestone, Patricia!
Maybe, Bettye, what bogged down Everlasting was that older characters have much more backstory. Probably very interesting backstory. And writers found themselves crafting that backstory into a novel.
Can we start here and now? Senior citizen whose been waiting for his uncle to kick the bucket forever so he could inherit the family fortune, finally gets his wish. Except a long-ago written will requires that he must be married and have at least one heir in order to take possession of family assets. His wife died years ago. Now what? He needs a wife and family. In a hurry. And hopefully he doesn’t kill himself in the process of finding one.
Seems like that could be a pretty funny story about finding love at a mature age.
BTW, I’ll convey your sentiments. They’re pretty geeked, and are renewing the vows, complete with a 30+ member wedding party (us).
“Think Diane Keaton’s more recent movies, like ‘Something’s Gotta Give’. ”
I love that movie, although I detest the way they ended it, it makes my mind boggle why she would leave her perfect lover for such a slimeball.
Older couples, well, in my youth I thought 30-40ish to be _old_, practically ancient!
No I’m going on 40 and my ideas about what romance is have severly changed, so on one hand it sure would be interesting to see what dating life is like in the 60-70s zone or what romance means in that age, on the other hand I do find the idea to actually read about it in a romance novel (with that unsavoury penchance for detailed sexscene they have) a bit icky.
Nothing irks me more than to have a character refer to another as, “an elderly woman, probably in her fifites.” Sheesh – my parents were teaching their grandkids to waterski when then were in their sixties, and now that hubby and I have hit the 40th anniversary milestone, I’m not ready to think of myself as “old.”
In my recent release, my heroine is living with her older mother, caring for her after a broken wrist. But the mother has a “boyfriend”. And in my current WIP. the main character’s grandparents are still showing signs of sparks.
I don’t have trouble with older heroes or heroines. None whatsoever.
It always does amuse me when a female character in her 50’s is described as elderly (or worse, as being “spry” for her age).
That said, I’m in my 50’s now, and I certainly believe in love and romance for older people, but I do read romance for the fantasy. I’m very happily married, and if life is kind, I’ll never experience the thrill of ‘new love’ again, but (or maybe, so) I enjoy reading about it.
An older couple has a lot of history behind them, and since if you live long enough, you’re likely to experience some tragedies, romance for an older couple is probably too close to real life for me.
It always does amuse me when a female character in her 50’s is described as elderly (or worse, as being “spry” for her age).
That said, I’m in my 50’s now, and I certainly believe in love and romance for older people, but I do read romance for the fantasy. I’m very happily married, and if life is kind, I’ll never experience the thrill of ‘new love’ again, but (or maybe, so) I enjoy reading about it.
An older couple has a lot of history behind them, and since if you live long enough, you’re likely to experience some tragedies, romance for an older couple is probably too close to real life for me.
BTW I love your blog!
What a fantastic post!
With so many marriages ending in divorce, people are finding love second time around and are obviously over 40. As a reader, I’ve long been frustrated with not being able to find books relevant to my age group. I don’t want to read about 25y olds chasing Mr Right nor having babies with him. My life has moved on and I want stories to reflect that.
Eventually, there was nothing for it but to write my own about a group of 4 friends around 50 who have more fun and romance than can be imagined. I’m hoping I’m on to the “next big thing” so watch this space!
Laura Essendine
http://www.accidentalguru.blogspot.com
Charlene wrote: “A book I desperately want to read by Lynn Viehl features an older heroine. Somebody buy and publish it, please.”
Thank you for the mention, Charlene. My agent passed on submitting the proposal to anyone specifically because the protagonist was in her fifties, and the concept was a lot quieter and more subtle/cerebral than the stuff I normally sell. I haven’t given up on it, though; when I have some time I’ll probably send it around myself and see if I can generate some interest in it. I don’t think she’ll turn it down if I bring her an offer along with it.
It is frustrating that publishers always want to see young, sexy, beautiful characters. I don’t have a problem writing younger-than-me protagonists (which is pretty much all of them at this point) but I do think older characters are just as interesting. I also don’t think you have to be twenty and have buns of steel to be sexy, but I’m probably in the minority there.
All it takes is one book to make them see there is a need.
I know I waited patiently for the books that featured couples that looked like me and it came to pass.
I know as I grow older, I’m 42 now, that I want to read about people my age, and having the passion in their marriages that I dreamed came after you lived happily ever after.
Maybe Lynn’s book is the book that will make them see.
Congrats to your inlaws Patricia. I love hearing about long marriages, let me know I can still hang in there.
Regardless of age, a first kiss is still a first kiss. I recently completed a masters degree that focused on this neglected demographic of romance reader and romance heroine, and I’m on my soapbox again.
Last month, I presented a paper linked to my findings at the recent IASPR conference. I’ve been hoping that my work would generate some discussion, so thanks for bringing up the topic again and giving more evidence that women over 35 want romance novels, with real romance and heroines they can relate to.
I plan to continue this study with a PhD. Romance and women 40 and over can be a viable industry!
Wow, I had to slip away to get to the anniversary celebration, but I’m glad the conversation continued.
50 is elderly? I hate that.
I enjoy when there are older secondary characters, but I really would like to see them as the featured characters, the hero and heroine.
So after this conversation, I’m still believer. There’s a market for the older romance.