I have Issues with letting go of things, particularly books.
I’ve always been a bit of a packrat, mind you, and books have always been one of my obsessions. (Which I’m sure isn’t any kind of a surprise to anyone.) I take good care of my books, to the point where you could grab any paperback I’ve ever bought new and put it back on a bookstore shelf and no one would know the difference, and that includes the old favorites I’ve read five or ten times. I’m careful of who I lend them to for this reason. (I don’t lend paperbacks to my mother, an unrepentant spine-creaser, and haven’t since I was about twenty. And even before that I practiced passive discouragement by putting all my romances on the top shelves of my wall unit, double-shelved with the front row spine-up, so you had to stand on a chair to see the titles. Mom didn’t want to stand on my rolling office chair to browse through my books, and she eventually gave up coming into my room to look through them. Oh, well — sorry. [teenage Angie carefully maintains a straight face])
Then back in 1990, I experienced an Incident which resulted in my losing most of my possessions. It wasn’t a fire or a flood, which is what most people tend to guess. What happened was that I trusted someone I shouldn’t have, and ended up some months later with the clothes I stood up in plus a suitcase half-full of T-shirts and panties, which he’d packed for me so I didn’t even get to choose my own half-full suitcase of stuff to go home with. That’s another story, fairly long and complicated, but the point is that I know what it’s like to suddenly have everything taken away.
I’ve replaced a lot of my old books since then, but most I haven’t. And what I have now, at age forty-six, is just under twenty years’ worth of Stuff, including books. I have no childhood favorites, no remnants of past interests and projects and obsessions, none of the books that came in beat-up boxes out of distant relatives’ attics, most of which I’d treasured — even the old texbooks and readers, because 1) no one was making me read them, and 2) they were so different from the readers I was familiar with.
I had a pair of nursing textbooks from the very early 20th century, passed on to me by an elderly friend of a great-aunt. I have no idea why she gave them to me, since I’ve never particularly wanted to be a nurse, but the information in them was fascinating, from the quaint italicization of the word “vitamin” from back when it was still a new concept, one of those difficult, medical words; to the outrageous idea that a patient with syphillis should never be told what they have, that instead they should be jollied along with false promises and reassurances until they fell into madness and died; to the horrifying (particularly to me at eighteen or twenty) descriptions (with drawings!) of the various things which can go wrong during a pregnancy. I loved taking them down and looking through them again, reading this or that section, and did so every handful of years while I had them. Now, I don’t even remember the titles or publishers, to try to replace them, on the odd chance that one or the other might show up in a used bookstore.
My collections of Heinlein and Asimov and Foster and Hogan, of Kathleen Woodiwiss and Jo Beverley and Mary Balogh and Claudette Williams, out-of-print history books found one at a time in used bookstores, small press science fiction and fantasy books bought from specialty dealers at SF conventions — everything was gone and I’ve only re-acquired a tiny fraction.
Now, my husband is in the process of changing jobs, and we’re going to be moving from Long Beach to Seattle. And of course, moving means weeding through all the accumulated clutter and donating or pitching as much of it as possible. I haven’t started yet, although my husband has been working on his own piles. I just don’t have very much that I feel like I want to lose, even though I know intellectually that there are things I should get rid of, even books I’ll never read again, or haven’t read and likely won’t.
For a few years I was combing eBay, back when it wasn’t just an outlet for commercial retailers, when you could still buy odd and unusual things from individuals for a decent price. People used to offer sets of ten or twelve books for three to five dollars; at that price it was worth buying even if there were only one or two books in the set that I wanted. So I’d see a book I’d lost — one of Maggie Gladstone’s The Lacebridge Ladies books, or an old Ellen Fitzgerald — and I’d grab the lot. I know I got a lot of other books I have little or no interest in this way, and I really need to get rid of them. Or maybe some of them. They’re all Regencies, after all, and about the same vintage, so even if the “extras” weren’t old favorites, I’d probably enjoy them, right?
And after all, there were a lot of books in my pre-1990 collection which I was pretty sure I’d never read again too. And since then I’ve found myself remembering this or that book and wanting to read it, with a new interest sparked by some new experience or project or a mention by another reader. So you never know, do you? And when you’re talking about something like a book, which eventually goes out of print and becomes difficult or expensive to find again, well, it’s not like getting rid of an egg slicer or a needle threader and then finding a year or three later that you really wish you hadn’t. That’s easy enough to fix, for the cost of a trip to the store and a trivial amount of change. Books are different.
We are moving, though, and I’m sure that one day soon my brain will override my heart and I’ll start going through the shelves and stacks and boxes, and I’ll manage to pull out at least a few. Dumping old clothes and kitchen things will be easier, of course, and I’ll probably do that first. But eventually, I’ll come up with a few stacks of books I’m pretty sure I won’t want to read again, and I’ll donate them to the library or give them to Goodwill.
But no matter what my head tells me, no matter how reasonable or logical or necessary it is, I know it’ll be hard. Because after all, these are books we’re talking about.
Angie
No related posts.
I SO hear you. We’re going to be moving (if anyone every buys our house), but we had to clear out so much accumulated ’stuff’ after living here for 22 years to make it presentable. Books were tough. I donated some to the library, brought some to my RWA chapter, but most are in a POD. It was tough, deciding to get rid of books, because, yeah, they ARE books.
It’s bad enough knowing that I can’t put my hands on boxes and boxes of them until we sell, then find a place to live, and then move it.
Our bookshelves are still full, but they’re only 1 book deep now, and all the books are lined up neatly, not stacked every which way to get a few more on the shelf.
Deciding which books I couldn’t live without for 6 months was the challenge. There are keepers, and then there are ‘at your fingertips’ keepers.
I definitely know where you’re coming from. [nod] We might end up in an apartment for a few months while we house-hunt, so I’m going to have to figure out what books I absolutely have to have with me and which ones can go into storate. O_O Figuring out what you need at your fingertips is a whole ‘nother level of sorting.
Angie
I’m the exact opposite.
Maybe it is because I come from a large family but I feel that if I’m not getting use out of an item, I should pass it along (and as quickly as possible).
Ohhh… and if I feel something will give a loved one joy, I pass it along whether I still need it or not. I figure I could always buy another.
That’s why I have less than 10 romances on my keeper shelf and even those are not the originals because I’ve long ago found someone else who I thought would love the books too.
The real joy is in the sharing.
If I want to give someone joy then I give them their own copy. [wry smile] Or a strong recommendation and a bookstore gift certificate, whichever.
I figure I could always buy another.
The problem is that with books, you often can’t. If something’s gone out of print, and especially if you bought it used in the first place and it was old and rare even then, you’re often out of luck, or stuck looking at the three bookstores on ABE that carry it for $$$.
I like sharing recs, and talking about books, and if I really love something I’ll buy a couple extra copies and give them to people I think will appreciate them. But if I find a book I love myself, I hang onto it. I’m sure that’s some sort of character flaw on my part, but there you go.
Angie
You know, I’m madly anti-clutter in every single way except books. Or at least, until our last move. (Hubby is in Navy, we move a LOT). We had so many cartons of books that I’d spent a lifetime accumulating and that were costing me money in storage and I finally said enough. It hurt like heck that first time, but I gave I think 45 cartons of book to the Friends of the Library for their book sale. Others got to read my books and it helped library programs. Since then, giving away books doesn’t hurt a bit. I had to rip that bandage off. I still have 8 full bookcases in the house, plus a precarious tower of TBR near the bed, but the extras go OUT. Face it, if I ever want to read the entire Sue Grafton alphabet series again, I can find them at the library. Same with Stephen King (had since I was a kid!), Asimov, etc. etc. etc. Let somebody else enjoy them. clear that clutter! Go, you!
I’ve never been into libraries, for whatever reason. When I was a kid, not only was the nearest one several miles away, the fiction I liked to read tended not to be in libraries anyway. This was before your average library had any kind of significant paperback collection, and the libraries seemed to be turning their noses up at most genre fiction anyway. I also tend to be up at all hours, and if I have a yen to read a particular book at 11pm, I like to be able to grab it and read it. Or if I’m cruising the internet at 3am and someone asks a question in one of my areas of interest, I like to be able to lean over and pull some reference books and answer it for them.
A short time before I lost all my stuff, in fact, I was reading a history board and someone asked about the origins of the Picts. That was a bit before my period, but I had quite a few books on British and English history, so I thought, No prob, I’ll look that up for him. [wry smile]
About eight hours and several thousand uploaded words’ worth of discussion and analysis later, it turned out that 1) no one really knows where the Picts are from, although there are some wild speculations, and 2) the huge and expensive hardcover historical atlas I’d paid a ridiculous amount for even through the History Book Club had more BS in it than the little $4.95 paperback from Anchor.
When I started replacing things later on, that little Anchor historical atlas was one of the first things I re-purchased, although the price had almost doubled. (Note that even the nearly-doubled price was still under ten dollars.) The big, fancy one with the glossy photos and illustrations (which had placed the Scythians somewhere east of Mongolia [eyeroll]) I didn’t bother hunting for.
But if I had to go to the library to do that kind of What-The-Heck-I’ll-Help-Him-Out research, I probably wouldn’t bother doing it. I realize most people are asleep when I’m banging out impromptu history articles, though, so for your average person the distance to the library and its hours of opening aren’t a significant problem.
Angie
We keep having to buy bookshelves for all the books we buy. And now my daughter, who’s 12, is in the fray. Lots and lots of books. I know there are some that I could give away easily, but that would mean actually having to sit down and go through them!
And going through books takes So Loooong! LOL! I can’t just sit down and sort books. I’ll pull one out and get hit by a memory or an urge and start paging through it, read a favorite section, and end up buried in the middle of it hours later, with very little sorting done. [headdesk]
Angie
I don’t have an issue getting rid off most stuff–love to give to charities such as Vietnam Veterans, etc.–but books just… hurt!
It helps that I haven’t moved in over a dozen years, but still, the way they reproduce in the night…
Every so often (about once a year, can’t bring myself to do it more often) I round up the books I know I won’t read again, and donate them.
In between these purges, I give some to my neighbor who also likes romance, mail a box or two to my sister or (starting just this year) mail some to online friends.
But it’s hard!
but books just… hurt!
Definitely. :/ We’ve been here for… about eleven years or so, and my husband and I have both accumulated books all that time. We probably have at least four or five thousand around the place, most of which won’t fit into our bookcases. We don’t even have enough wallspace to put up more bookcases, so we’ve just been back-filling odd corners.
About the only part of this process I expect to be easy is that I likely have at least a few duplicates. [duck] Since I can’t get everything shelved, I know I occasionally buy a book I already have. Donating those will be easy ;D but all the rest? Arrgh!
Angie
That is a lond and expensive trip to make for hauling books. I don’t envy you the task of culling. Oh the money I’ve spent on my collection over the years.
Exactly! My number one expense is books. I’m not into clothes or shoes or makeup or jewelry — with my discretionary funds I buy some computer games, some DVDs, and all the rest is books. I’m definitely not looking forward to culling. :/
Angie
I say if you have space and want to keep them, keep them…to me it’s the same as photos, only better sometimes…and sometimes it just a line, or a sentence that makes me want to keep a book — I want to keep it and the story it comes with…and I love when I reread later and get something I’ve missed.
And anyway, someday they may be collector items, or, a niece/nephew or granddaughter/son may take great joy in your collection.
My fantasy has always been to have a library with floor to ceiling bookshelves…someday. I relax when I’m surrounded by books.
Angela, I think you should go back to collecting like you did before the ‘incident’ (to me, that reminds me of an incident I had when I was about 13 someone I didn’t like got into my private stash of poetry I’d written…I’ve never felt comfortable keeping a notebook of private thoughts since…but I’m working on it)
I’ll definitely be keeping as many as I can get away with. It’s not like I have a quota or anything, it’s more the, “All right, let’s be adult about this now…” feeling, you know?
and sometimes it just a line, or a sentence that makes me want to keep a book
Yes! One of the books I never replaced was an old Harlequin historical (one of the few Harlequins I ever bought) which I kept just so I could reread one particular scene periodically and have a good laugh. It was Regency-ish and dealt with smugglers. The Guy was with Inland Revenue or whatever and tangled with the smugglers, who’d staked him out on the beach with the tide coming in so he’d drown. The Girl found him and was all babbling and sobbing while tugging at the ropes, trying to untie him.
She’s all, “OMG the tide’s coming in! Here, I’ll untie you! Just a moment my love and you’ll be free! Wow, these knots are tight! Hang on!”
And he’s going, “Umm, Jane?” (or whatever her name was) trying to get a word in edgewise, but she keeps interrupting him, “No, I will do this, you can’t die! OMG you’re going to drown!”
“Jane, you have to–”
“No! No, don’t tell me to go, I’ll never leave you! I WILL get you free! Even if it tears my fingers bloody!”
“But Jane–”
“Don’t say it! I won’t leave you! Oh, my love, I’m so sorry! I can’t until you! But I’ll stay with you and we’ll drown together! We’ll–!”
“JANE!! Shut up! There’s a knife in my left trouser pocket!”
[giggling facepalm]
It was a massively silly book, but I used to pull it down every couple of years just to read that one scene.
when I was about 13 someone I didn’t like got into my private stash of poetry I’d written
Oww.
I take it they weren’t kind in what they did with the info? [wince] Massive suck — I’m so sorry. Kids can be uncivilized little monsters. {{}}
Angie
Angela – You will find that Seattle is a book town (lots of reading while you drink coffee!), and you’ll also find that the Greater Seattle RWA chapter is a wonderful home for romance writers. You’ll love it there.
Well, I write m/m and I’m e-pubbed, so RWA doesn’t really have anything for me right now. If they ever do get with the 21st century, though, it’s great to know there’s a really good chapter right there.
[Yes, I know most of the local chapters are wonderfully welcoming of both m/m authors and e-pubbed authors, which is seriously awesome, but I refuse to pay due$$ to National so long as their outrageous attitudes toward m/m and e-pubs hold sway.]
Great to hear Seattle’s a book town, though. I’m definitely looking forward to hitting a bunch of new bookstores. [beam]
Angie
I feel your pain about the loss of books. I moved from Australia to Canada about 13 years ago, and had to sell my books to raise money to move here. At the time I didn’t think too much about it — I figured I’d just replace the books when I got here. I’d bought them once, I could do it again.
Hollow laugh. Some of those books are irreplaceable. Or so expensive to buy here, because they’re English, and not released in north America. Thirteen years later, I’m *still* trying to rebuild my favourites shelf.
But like you, I’ve got a hell of a lot of books sitting around taking up room I really need to get rid of, too.
Oh, oww! Empathy, definitely.
Hollow laugh. Some of those books are irreplaceable. Or so expensive to buy here, because they’re English, and not released in north America. Thirteen years later, I’m *still* trying to rebuild my favourites shelf.
Yep. Even though most of the books I lost were published in North America, there are still so many I can’t find copies of. Even though you can find all kinds of things through the internet these days (which wasn’t true fifteen or twenty years ago) I often don’t remember titles and/or authors, so…. I had an extensive collection of history books, many of which had come from used bookstores and were long out of print. It’s one thing to see a familiar cover in a bookstore, or even have a title or author ping a memory, but once a book is OOP, you’re pretty much hosed unless you have full info on it. And even if you do, it’s amazing how expensive some of those books are through the used shops.
Angie
A couple of months ago, I decided to do a bookshelf purge and put several boxes out on the curb for pickup by one of the charities. About two weeks later, as I was getting into my car, a neighbor stopped by. She was really embarrassed, but confessed to having gone through my books and taken several. She wants to get together for coffee to talk books some time. So I cleared my shelves and made a new friend. Win/win in my book.
Sounds like things worked out really well for you, then — congrats!
Angie
I’ve always been a bit of a packrat, mind you, and books have always been one of my obsessions. (Which I’m sure isn’t any kind of a surprise to anyone.) I take good care of my books, to the point where you could grab any paperback I’ve ever bought new and put it back on a bookstore shelf and no one would know the difference, and that includes the old favorites I’ve read five or ten times. I’m careful of who I lend them to for this reason. (I don’t lend paperbacks to my mother, an unrepentant spine-creaser, and haven’t since I was about twenty.
Omigod, twins! I have the perfect condition paperbacks (the library loved me when I donated right before my last move, since they were in ‘put them on the shelf’ condition). I also have a spine-cracking mother I refuse to lend to.
I blame a childhood of being a military brat. I moved every three years, and there was a weight limit on what the Canadian forces would move, so my mother chose which books I was allowed to keep, and which ones got pitched. As a result, I tend to hang onto my books. Every so often (like when moving), I have to force myself to purge out a percentage. It’s painful, but with seven bookcases of books and probably another four or five worth of books in boxes, it has to be done, since I can’t bring myself to stop buying them.
Hey, I knew I wasn’t the only one!
And wait… “stop buying them?” You mean, stop buying books? [blanch] Umm, no. There’ll be plenty of time to stop buying books when I’m dead! LOL!
Angie
I, too, am a horrendous book hoarder. And I, too, am also facing the prospect of moving soon. But I’ve found something that makes the prospect of getting rid of some books slightly less painful. It’s Paperback Swap.
Now, I don’t know why other people like this site, maybe it’s the savings, maybe it’s the ease of shopping, whatever. For me, what I like about the site is that when I send off a book, I know I’m sending it to someone who really wants it.
Somehow that makes it easier and “better” than getting 40 cents per copy at the used book store, or handing over a box to an indifferent library system. On PBS, when I send a book it’s to someone who has already paid their dues by offering a book of their own, and, I get credit for every book I send. So my library isn’t permanently diminished, I just get to pass along the chaff in my collection while culling someone else’s wheat.