Several weeks ago, a friend and I decided to start walking the outdoor track at the local Y together. For both of us (she in her mid 30s, me in my early 40s), our intention was to get a little exercise in and have a little time out of the house, away from the kids. I hadn’t realized, however, the huge added benefit that came along with these simple walks.
Well, first off, simple is a misnomer. We’re power walking–kicking butt twice around a 1.65-mile track, carrying hand weights, and breaking a sweat every time. Since we started, we’ve shaved 10 minutes off our total walk time. We’ve walked rain or shine, light or dark, several days a week. One of my friends called us “hardcore” when we walked in pouring rain. And was nice enough to tell us we looked “cute” at the end, even though I definitely had more of a Drowned Rat look going on 
Me and Marci after a rainy 3.3 mile walk
But the true benefit has been in something else, something I hadn’t realized I needed as much as I needed to tone my legs and lose a few pounds. It was the friendship.
The conversations. I haven’t had this much “girl time” in years and years. It’s so easy, after you get married and have kids, to let that time with friends slip by the wayside.
For me, it had been logistics. A dozen years ago, I moved halfway across the country–1000 miles away from my best friend. We keep in touch, but we don’t talk a fraction as often as we did when I lived in the same town. And yes, I have very good friends here, but I work and travel an insane amount, and find more of my conversations happen over e-mail and Facebook than anywhere else. Face-to-face? Not as much.
As the walks wore on, Marci and I, who had started out as just coffee buddies–friends who’d sit down together for coffee and have a light, surface conversation–ended up opening up more to each other and finding we had a ton in common. It was like being in sixth grade again and discovering the girl at the next desk liked the same music as you did, and lived in the same kind of house as you did. Except we had more adult things in common, and found the fifty minutes or so we spent walking just flew by. When I went away for two weeks, both of us missed the daily contact.
I have my husband, of course, and my kids. And my other friends. I talk to all of them, too, but in those snippets of time you find between throwing in a load of laundry and serving dinner. These walks have been a whole new experience, like being back in school and sharing the entire day’s events standing by your locker. I’ve watched my teenage daughter with her girlfriends and seen her spend hours and hours, holed up in her room or walking the mall, two girls just talking. I realized how much of my girl time had been cut into tiny segments–a few minutes here, an e-mail there, a short phone call every once in a while. Interrupted by a busy life as a wife, a mom, an author, heck, just a person.
While we walk, I tell Marci about the new shoes I bought (anyone who has read my blog on Love is an Exploding Cigar knows about the shoe thing, LOL). About how I’m struggling writing Chapter Twenty-Two. About how annoying my husband was that day–or what sweet thing he did the day before. She in turn talks about her writing, the hilarious things her kids do (hers are little and so, so cute, compared to my teens , and her day working a real job. We laugh, we gripe–
We walk.
Every step, every word, is moving us forward in a different kind of health. Not just the physical kind that walking 3.3 miles several days a week brings, but the kind that good friendship and bust-a-gut laughter brings. I went out on the track because I thought I needed to lose weight and tone up.
I didn’t realize I needed something else far more than that.
What about you? Have you found that now that you’re at a different stage in life, friendships mean something different? That you’ve drifted away or back to friends you had before? That you, too, need a walking partner?
Shirley
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I can’t bear going outside, much less doing a ‘power walk’ thing, but I do recall the more moderately paced walks I used to take around our neighborhood with one of my daughters. I do miss the connections we made as we did our 2+ miles. Conversations aren’t the same in the house as they are out on a special walk.
This is inspiring.
My good friend and neighbor asked me to walk at the end of the school year. We didn’t get in a good habit before our crazy summer schedules happened.
I’ve been sad my kids’ summer break ends in a week. Now I’m perked up a little, that back-to-school is a reminder to call her and get walking.
Cathy,
I hope you do get time to walk with your friend!
I’m counting down the days till school starts. It’ll be nice to have my house stay clean all day and to have all that time to WRITE WITHOUT INTERRUPTIONS!
Terry,
My daughter is learning to drive now, so we spend a lot of time in the car together, driving and talking. That mother-daughter time is great. I’ll miss that when she goes to college
Something about being in the car that brings out the best conversations!
I envy you your walking partner! I like walking, but always end up doing so on my own, which makes it difficult to motivate in cold weather. My problem is I have long legs and a natural fast-paced gait, so even when I hold myself back, I always end up far ahead of friends on outings. I need a walking partner who can match my pace and push me a bit. I’ve learned that holding yourself back to a too-slow pace only does more harm than good.