Just like we’ve known that Victoria’s Secret is that “she’s” a man, baby, we’ve known that men have been writing romances since the dawn of time. After all, the Jennifer Wilde that introduced me to Marietta Danvers was actually a man named Tom E. Huff. But what about some of the men inhabiting bookstore fiction sections and bestseller lists? It’s getting harder and harder to separate some of their work from that of the women writing contemporary romance.
For example, Eric Jerome Dickey writes women so well that I swear someone has given him the secret estrogen handshake. No one can tell me that Milk in My Coffee isn’t a romance novel. However, the writer who embodies my thesis by far is the great Nicholas Sparks. I mean, Message in a Bottle? The Notebook? Nights in Rodanthe? If those aren’t romance novels, then I don’t know what romance novels are. Yet, you won’t see Sparks in the romance section of your chain bookstore.
Contrary to what some of my bitter single girlfriends may want to believe, men can actually relate to the themes prevalent in romance – the desire to couple, the journey to finding a partner, the ability of unconditional love to soothe the rough edges of past hurts, for example. As someone so succinctly put it recently, men are the new women. They’ve realized that there’s a life outside of sports. They’ve come to appreciate culture and the finer things in life. They’re plagued by the same insecurities once thought to affect only women. The concept of metrosexuality is a physical manifestation of this point. Just one pass through Men’s Health magazine reveals that men have their own version of body dysmophia (“bigorexia”). Men are whitening their teeth. They’re dying their hair. They’re having cosmetic surgery in record numbers. I live near a military base, and it’s common to see battle-hardened warriors in fatigues getting a mani-pedi. In short, we’re more alike than we’re different. The war itself might still be raging, but this particular battle of the sexes is a draw.
Slowly, though, I think that those who use gender to put genres in certain boxes and stock bookshelves may have gotten the memo. A couple years ago, when I read that Devon Vaughn Archer and Wayne Jordan were the first two men to write for Kimani Press Arabesque – without hiding behind girly pseudonyms – I sensed that there was a sea change in the offing. My cynical side asks if this is because maybe pink is the new green. I recently wrote a piece for Examiner.com about how romance is the recession proof genre, that it’s the tide that’s lifting all boats while the publishing industry at large attempts to reinvent itself.
My hopeful side says that, even though I’m not all that stoked about men having to validate the genre with their presence, maybe this is the first step in romance escaping the pink stigma. Perhaps men – both writers and readers – will realize that embracing their so-called feminine side is to embrace the human condition… while enjoying some damned good fiction in the process.
This post was submitted by Wendy Coakley-Thompson.
No related posts.
LOL I clicked on this from Twitter, thinking someone was looking for writers of homoerotic fiction. My favorite genre to write…even though I have a Va-jay-jay..LOL. Great article though. I am glad the sexy male writers are coming out of the closet.
Well, I don’t much like Sparks at all so I don’t find that argument convincing.
Actually, my argument against Sparks, is not so much that he isn’t writing romance, because it’s clear that he is– or at least, something very close to it. My argument against him is that if he was a woman who’d written those self-same stories, they wouldn’t have received the attention they did and they most certainly wouldn’t be shelved in general fiction. They’d be just another romance novel, that is, presuming they would even have been published at all.
Just my own opinion, of course.
I’ve never read Sparks books because the descriptions never even caught my attention but do they even have the “happy ending” expected of the romance genre?
Bev, they’re closer to women’s fiction in that they can have optimistic endings with a degree of emotional satisfaction. But as far as being a true romance with the traditional HEA, no, not really.
The reviews for the Notebook. Note, especially Booklist’s review. Sparks didn’t do the genre any favors.
SPOILERS AHOY
*sigh*
Personally, I don’t consider Sparks’ books to be genre romances. Are they wonderfully romantic? In parts, yes–in the same way that Casablanca is romantic as hell–but in both cases, romantic = poignant.
And frankly, I want my genre romance to have a happy ending, not a bittersweet one all covered in grand, epic self-sacrifice for the greater good or some such.
I really don’t understand
why romance writers worry so much
about respect.
Yesterday, I heard from a reader
who plunked down her hard-earned cash
to escape into one of my books.
She then spent even more of her precious minutes to thank me.
THAT is ALL the respect I need.
Always glad to find a guy writing romance, just like I’m always glad to get flowers from my XY. It’s just, both happen so rarely I’m not yet ready to declare a paradigm shift
I think part of the reason we as romance writers have trouble with the respect issue is because we’ve been denigrated for so long. I just started Smart Bitches Beyond Heaving Bosoms and they are dead on with their discussion of stereotypes, both of the genre and the ‘typical reader’.
I’m guilty of it myself. I was telling a friend about my books and he asked what I wrote. I said military romance. He asked why would I want to write a romance and I said because every story, at the end of the day, is a romance because romance is about relationships. I write about military heroes because it’s easier for me to get inside a soldier’s head than not but ultimately, I want my fictional guys to have a happy ending.
How is that bad? Why is it looked down upon? I’m a woman and I write romance and I’m proud of that fact. The fact that men are slipping into “our” genre simply means that we collectively are breaking out of the stereotypes.
Oh, and we’re still selling in a crappy economy, too.
Jess Scott
http://www.jessicascott.net
First of all, ladies (and any guys on the QT), thanks so much for the warm reception to my guest post on Romancing thr Blog. I’ve been reading what you all have said about the industry for quite some time now and figured I’d finally contribute instead of being a tourist.
That said, I’m also glad to see that guys are coming out and admitting that they write romance novels. The more, the merrier. I guess I just wonder if this is just another fad and, once the bloom’s off the rose, it’s back to “girly pseudonyms” or romance-writing men as, yet again, the novelty act on fiction shelves and bestseller lists. My ha’penny…
Romancing THE Blog
My argument against him is that if he was a woman who’d written those self-same stories, they wouldn’t have received the attention they did and they most certainly wouldn’t be shelved in general fiction. They’d be just another romance novel, that is, presuming they would even have been published at all.
I’m glad you said this. I totally agree. While I have no problem with men writing romance, I do think NY publishing sees a book written by a man differently than a book written by a woman.
No argument here. As cooler people than I am would probably say, “Don’t hate the player; hate the game.”
I don’t think having men join the genre means we’re ‘validated’, though I can see where you’re coming from on that. Our sales numbers says we’re valid enough and with Romance being one of the biggest genres, if not the biggest, I’d say that speaks to validation as well.
to do it. So we do tend to be pidgeon holed by what we are thought to write.
However, men coming into the genre does change the dynamic of our books, somewhat.
That being said, it’s terribly hard for a woman to get published with something that is not romance or ‘chick lit’. I have a friend who’s shopping a fantastic suspense and she’s had to turn into a man
The gender wars continue, as to most of the other culture wars. All we can do is continue to write books that are true to ourselves and our readers and not worry about what the snots out there say.
Because at the end of the day, romance novels are about relationships and every book has relationships between the pages.
Jess Scott
http://www.jessicascott.net
I don’t think that having men writing in the romance genre is validating, however, I can definitely see where that might be the perception. I have a good friend who’s trying to sell a military suspense and one of the comments from an editor was: where’s the romance. Just b/c she’s a female author. It’s disappointing to be pigeon holed, however, it’s possible to break out. Romance is a solid, well performing genre and it’s no wonder. There is something here for everyone.
I also don’t think that men writing in the traditionally female genre is going to change it much. Romance is successful because it gives the readers what they want. A happily ever after and a good story. Ultimately, romance is about relationships and like Smartbitches says: there are some really great novels and some craptastic. Men writing romance does not mean they will be better than women’s. It just means theirs will be noticed a little more as the exception than the rule. It will be interesting to see what the differences will be between the two.
I can’t wait to see what those differences are.
Thanks for the very high praise!