Lately, I’ve been bothered more and more by something in books, and every time I read it in yet another one, my irritation rises. It’s characters who don’t stay in character during sex scenes. I’m not a huge erotic romance fan, although I do read some. However, the majority of the books I read do have on-screen sex scenes. I’m certainly not against hot sex in books. If it works for the story, then go for it. But make sure it also works for your characters.
Now, I understand that some timid, mild-mannered-by-day women suddenly become tigresses in bed, but most of the time I’m not convinced. If you’ve done your job well the characters become real, I can visualise them, and that means I have some idea of how I expect them to behave in certain situations. So when the very classy lady, a snob about so many things in life, who is timid about her body, or has body issues, has sex, I have assumptions about how that will go. When that same lady thinks or talks about her, er, kitty (not sure I’m allowed to use the other word here) and dripping and all sorts of other things, it takes me right out of the scene. I don’t believe it. Sometimes it even makes me want to laugh.
Again, I’m not saying that this wouldn’t be in character for some, or that I object to these things in all sex scenes. I’m saying make it work for those characters. Also, make sure it fits the time period as well. I’m not a huge historical reader either, but I’ve read some where women and/or men use words or thoughts in their sex scenes, that I’m not even sure were popular then and then I spend the rest of the book wondering if that was right for the time period instead of actually enjoying the book.
Just like in movies, I want my sex scenes to fit with the flow of the story, so that they are just one more element. I don’t want to be able to tell the difference in the tone, I don’t want to be jarred out of what I’m reading, because then it feels like a separate scene, not necessarily part of the plot. As if the author said, “ok stick sex scene 3 in here†and moved on. In my opinion, that’s where porn isn’t arousing, because there is no plot, and, generally, the women aren’t acting/re-acting the way they necessarily would in real life. And most of the time they don’t really look like they are enjoying it, but that’s a whole other issue. It’s a believability thing.
For me, anyway, it is way sexier to have the characters respond “in characterâ€. That is to say, how would they really think or act? I can think of some super hot, super graphic books, where I felt the scenes, language and everything else was in character and I was not jarred out story at all. If your character would really say “f*** me now†then go for it. Make me believe it. I’m betting there are all sorts of sexy ways for your demure, snobby, character to have great sex in character. It might even be fun!
I know, it’s all subjective, but what I’m really trying to say is… don’t stop the suspension of disbelief, just because you want to add a hot sex scene. Make me believe what they are doing and/or saying, throughout the book, clothed or unclothed, making love, shooting at someone, being held against their will or just plain having sex.
Do love scenes ever take you out of a story? Do you ever think, no way? Or do you even care?
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Funny, I was just discussing this with another author over lunch on our way back from NJRW this weekend.
I was saying how jarring it is when the sex scenes in a book not only seems to contain different characters but a different voice as well. I’ve read books that were perhaps PG to PG-13 rated throughout, with a good plot, interesting characters and a well-crafted romance that became XXX when the sex scenes came along, then switched gears back to PG afterwards.
As an erotic romance author, I’m not shocked by explicit sex scenes, but I really don’t expect to find them in otherwise sensual romances. My theory [or concern] was that since erotic romance is so hot right now, are publishers asking [or insisting] authors who normally write PG/PG-13 insert the XXX sex in their books to boost salability?
What a great post! It’s something I’d not really thought about, but you’re right. The best sex scenes are those that fit with the story and with the characterisation. I’ve often read books where I’ve thought – ‘what, another sex scene? Can we get back to the plot?’!
I know, it’s all subjective, but what I’m really trying to say is… don’t stop the suspension of disbelief, just because you want to add a hot sex scene.
Yes, that is the crux of it. Along with making sure something changes in the sex scene, or it advances the plot, or teaches you something new about the characters.
I SO agree.
It is one of my pet peeves.
I’ll be reading about a chatty, tangent taking heroine who will go from talking about shoes to work issues in one long run on sentence and then, for some reason, she is silent during the sex scenes. Like touching her below the waist shuts off all power to her mouth.
I don’t want generic sex scenes. I want to read about YOUR characters’ sex scenes.
Oh yes.
I really dislike sex scenes that seem to be tossed in simply because there is supposed to be a sex scene here but have no connection to either the characters or the plot. I find myself just paging through them, looking for the point at which we get back to the story.
It seems as if some authors have a pile of generic sex scenes that they simply drop into their books when the editor says, “We need a sex scene here.”
I totally agree, and not only with sex scenes but violence or language can be this way too. Sometimes it feels like sex, violence and language are just kicked in there to show how ‘adult’ the book is. I don’t care if the book is adult, I want it to be internally consistent. If you have someone that swears like a sailor, go for it, but don’t make everyone do so just for the shock value because at that point it’s not shocking but boring and off putting. Sex scenes are the same in my opinion. They should fit with the plot and the characters, not just be added in at random.
~J
Readers are busy and tired, but they’re also smart and sensitive. Those who doubt it do so to their own peril.
I agree — and all that gushing cream just makes me think of Redi-Whip. Sorry. I don’t mind hot, explicit sex, but it definitely has to fit the characters, and has to fit the story. It took my characters over 200 pages in the book I’m writing to finally consummate a sex scene, but it wouldn’t have worked before that.
Way back in the 60’s when I was in high school, sex in books that didn’t need to be mailed in plain brown wrappers was relatively “new”. I remember my English teacher saying, “if you want to sell books, just open the manuscript anywhere and insert a sex scene.” I’d like to think we’ve come a lot farther since then, but I’ve read quite a few books lately where the sex was there to make the book have sex scenes. I found that I got bored.
This was a great post! I’d love to read more bedroom scenes with the characters completely in character. There’s such a glut of ho-hum bedroom scenes that don’t do this. We would like our bedroom scenes to not be gratuitous thanks
Yes yes yes, a thousand times YES!
The best examples of in-character sex I’ve come across are in Mary Balogh’s “The Secret Pearl” and Sophia Nash’s “A Dangerous Beauty.”
In the first book, the hero and heroine meet while she is a prostitute and he is a john, and while the sex isn’t violent, it’s perfunctory and he pays no attention to her needs. She, of course, was traumatized by the experience and has an understandable fear of sex for long afterwards. When they re-meet and end up falling love, for their first romantic sex scene the heroine is STILL frightened, and the romance comes from how she has to face that fear because she loves the hero so much. *sigh* Read that book, it’s one of the best historicals of all time.
Secondly, in Nash’s “Dangerous Beauty,” there is an incredibly sexy scene in which the hero and heroine go at it without the hero using his hands ONCE (that includes undressing her with his teeth), because she hates the touch of a man’s hands because of previous traumatic experience. That made it so much more.
From the other side, I can understand how writing character-realistic sex scenes can be frustrating for writers of historicals, where female orgasms were believed to be a) imaginary or b) morally wrong. Oral sex was not talked about in Regencies, and most women would have no idea. I’ve encountered several Regencies (like Eloisa James’ “Duchess by Night”) where the hero has to do quite a bit of persuading before the heroine will allow him to perform oral on her.
That being said – in Regency-era times, the lack of sex talk meant that most men didn’t give a crap about whether they were good in bed to their wives – their wives’ job was to “close her eyes and think of England” – so I think at least in some cases, in historicals I can usually look the other way when a hero performs oral or is extremely attentive to the heroine’s needs.
I have to agree. I think by pushing the characters out of character, the author is trying to force the sex. It doesn’t come across as natural. Sex does sell, but for me it has to be the right sex. If the character is timid, then let her/him, evolve into a tiger between the sheets…Authors I think rush the process to get to the sex scene. I love slow sex where its not so much teasing as much as learning…Which can become so much more.
Great post and so true, especially the point on keeping the sex scenes and language true to the character.
I have to note, though, that some historically accurate terms are likely to jar a reader out of the reading trance. For example, would most readers of medieval romances understand that (according to Geoffrey Hughes in A History of English Words) in medieval times “yard” was a term for a penis and the “nut” was the glans and not the testicles? Yes, it fits the time period, but authors also have to balance accessibility against historical accuracy.
Yes, I care, and yes, they can yank me so far out the book I have trouble ever getting back.
I have been having issues with how female characters think of themselves–how often do I think of my vagina as a cunt? Never. Or would a gently reared lady from the early 1800s think of it as her quim? Huh… vulgar slang + polite society = fail.
So, hell yes it does matter.
I’m glad I’m not the only one, I was slightly worried when I wrote this. LOL And really, I know how hard writing sex scenes is. That’s why I hadn’t done it until my last release. That was likely my first and last erotic romance. I really had to think about what my heroine would think and what she would say. I really struggled with that. In the end, I hope it worked, but the readers will have to decide. I actually asked my husband what he thought of his parts during the act, or did he?
I don’t plan on writing another erotic, but it was very good to stretch my writing skills, I think.
As far as historicals, I do have to admit, I don’t know what the real words are, but, I’m pretty sure I know what they aren’t. As I mentioned, I don’t read a lot of historical so I really shouldn’t comment more on this.
Again, make me fall in love with the story, characters, sex scenes and all. Make it seamless and I won’t start counting how many times they have sex or use which word or whatever. I won’t care and I won’t remember. I’ll just be thinking “what a great book.”
I’ve never thought much about the “in character” aspect, but I have thought, “already? ” “ew,” and “not again.” Also, “that was just like last time.” Seriously. After the first one, I pretty much skip the rest. As far as historicals go, as a history major, I’ve read several studies of 19th century marriage/romance which quote letters that show that spouses and affianced couples enjoyed romantic sex lives, and the men were fairly sensitive.
I just wrote a post about how I couldn’t buy a proper virginal heroine who became a skilled and enthusiastic fellatrice in one night. Too much to believe!
I couldn’t agree more. It’s one of the things I try to push down the throats of the newbies who follow my own blog.
A good post. Thank you.
My favourite are the non-virgin heroines who, on first look at the hero, say “It’s so big. Will it fit?” Dude, really? Ugh. (And I’m not overly fond of the virgin heroines who say that, either.)
This is such a great post and it’s so true! It’s frustrating to get right into a book and the story and characters only to be ripped out of the tale by this kind of thing
Oh man. I can only speak for myself, but sex scenes are the very most difficult scenes to write in a book.
My characters are always at their most open, raw, and vulnerable. They are NAKED with one another in every way. That is an exciting, trusting, and very unnerving place to be.
Sex scenes do take me out of the picture if it feels that the characters are emotionally on shaky ground, then all of a sudden everything is fine and wonderful once they hit the sack. What? Did their hearts just turn off?
I think sometimes authors get a preconceived idea about how a sex scene should sound, and so fall into this trap. It is easier to parrot what you think a sex scene should be like, than to let your characters expose themselves so completely it makes you uncomfortable.
This is one of my major issues with historical erotic romances. One of the biggest offenders is “kinky†which is from 1959. I see this all the time in “historical†books. Even seemingly innocuous terms/ideas like “sex†(as in “to have sex†is from 1900!), can foul up a book.
And don’t get me started on the books with Sadomasochism in all its wordy glory long before Sade was born, his books had been published, or the terms had been coined . . .
I did a blog http://tiny.cc/blog548 about it the other week and there is nothing worse than sex that does not ring true. Nothing pulls me out of a book quicker. It also makes me hesitate to pick up another book by the author. It is terribly frustrating!