When I get stuck in my writing, I clean my keyboard.
I love my Mac and would use it purely for decoration even if it weren’t so useful, but the otherwise-infallible designers did something rather stupid, in my opinion: they made the keyboard white, and they encased it in a non-removable clear plastic tray. When you first get the computer it looks very pretty, all pristine and modern. Then, as you use the thing, it starts to get grubby. The keys you use all the time are relatively clean, because your fingers brush away the dirt–unless of course you’re typing with fingers covered with strawberry jam, chocolate, blood, whatever your favourite snack happens to be. But the other keys collect a layer of grey dust on their tops and all around their edges. And slowly, the detritus of your life filters through the keys and settles in the plastic tray beneath, and because the tray is clear, you can see every little bit of it.
It’s pretty gross.
Anyway when I’m really stuck (like, for example, today when I’m angsting about whether to uncreate a major character in my wip), I get out the Q-tips and the cleaning fluid and the cotton and the little brush, and I prise the keys off the board one by one using a nail file, and I line them up so they won’t get mixed up, and I clean them. Then I clean out the clear plastic tray.
You find lots of stuff in there. Like when you vacuum under your couch cushions, but the stuff’s smaller, of course. It’s pretty much a history of my writing life. The hairs (pulled out in despair), the crumbs (comfort eating), the pencil shavings (sudden inspiration), the sticky stain that is evidently wine (self-explanatory, really). Occasionally I find a sparkle, which is nice, though it probably has more to do with that fairy costume I was wearing than my prose.
I clean it out, and I throw it away, and then replace the keys. It’s quite satisfying, though then I have to start writing again, which can be a problem. How I wish, though, that I would occasionally find some other stuff in there.
That really good idea, for example, that seemed to have got lost somewhere between my thinking it up and my typing it out. It had to go somewhere, right? Why not underneath the shift key?
Or the things I love about writing, which drain away when I’m stuck. Like that brilliant feeling I had a few days ago when I made my heroine really get into trouble. I was so happy. Where’s that gone when I need it? Maybe wedged between the [ and the ]?
Maybe if I clean enough, the keys will start working properly. I might get some control when I press CTRL. Or be able to ESC. Or find some HELP.
Hell, right now I’d settle for PG DWN.
What do you wish was lurking under your qwerty?
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[...] got a post up on Romancing the Blog today, about things I find, and wish I’d find, in my keyboard. It’s the sort of [...]
WOW! That is impressive. All I do for my Logitech wireless keyboard is shake it upside down now and then!
As for the missing extras?
When I was a schoogirl in rural Northumberland, not far from the sea, our history teacher had us make ink from veg oil and ground-down soot, and then we all trooped down to the beach and collected discarded feathers from the geese and ducks that flew over that time of year.
Made the quills. Used the ink. Did not even try and make the paper.
Sorry to say, inspiration Shakespeare style did not appear by magic in my case at least. I still got a B for Practical History.
Perhaps there is a lot to be said for keyboards after all.
The rest of chapter 16. The sensory detail my contest judges agreed was lacking. Oh, yeah, and cash. Christmas is coming, and we might have to resort to a true “Little House” holiday
Well, speaking as someone who is apparently Death on Keyboards, I’d kind of like one that’s resistant to wine and coffee spills. One that only responds to my keystrokes, not my kittens’ meanderings (it’s cute, but they can’t spell). And one that comes without the Caps Lock and Insert buttons, which I hit all the time without meaning to, causing many rewrites (actually I’ve prised them off now).
And underneath the keys, I’d really like to find next week’s winning Lottery numbers…
I’d settle for not wearing the letters off the keys. I’m no touch typist and it’s very irritating when the lettering gives out and I have to tippex them back on – still at least I can blame my creative spelling on something.
My laptop keys are shiny from use. And maybe skin oils. Ew. Maybe I need to get all obsessive-compulsive and give them a good scrubdown.
I liked your post. I’ve looked at that ESC button with longing a time or two myself.
What I wish was under all the use, and worn keys, a best seller, with a huge advance.
Ray-Anne, you mean I could merely SHAKE IT UPSIDE DOWN and eliminate hours of useful procrastination???
Yes, isn’t it a shame we can no longer blame the soot and geese for our writing problems.
Leah, cash is something I find beneath the couch cushions, not in the keyboard. Have a look in your couch.
Yes, I would like to discover the rest of chapter 16 too. Clever little bugger keeps on hiding.
Kate, do you think maybe you should just let your cats have at it, and see what they come up with? If it’s good enough you could send it to your publisher and use the proceeds to buy kitty treats.
Just a thought. I do believe they’d do better than the drek I’ve been known to write.
Death on Keyboards…that looks like it should have a little “TM” after it.
Nell, I’ve never actually worn the letters off keyboards. You must be really really dedicated, or have sandpaper for fingerprints.
Jill, surely you’re not calling ME obsessive-compulsive because I clean my keyboard?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
(Oh, yeah. I am.)
Glad you liked the post.
Lee……..that’s the best idea I’ve heard in ages. Maybe I’ll go check under mine again.
Julie, that’s really searching for procrastination inspiration. I wish under my keyboard was time. More time. I never have enough.
[...] I was reading one of the blogs I frequently read and came across a post about cleaning your keyboard and its relation to being stuck in your writing. Â I have not used the technique of cleaning your [...]
Amen! I am currently in a similar conundrum… I have been trying for a week now to unstick the keys on my laptop to no avail. While I know that I just need to pop them out and get it over with, I’m afraid that I’ll break the darn thing… *sigh*
Computers; you can’t live with them and you can’t live without them.
Susan, I totally hear you!
TWR, I find laptop keys scary. I’m afraid I’ll break them. Good luck and Godspeed.