And there are times when many people know there’s a problem but none of them want to be the first to point it out, whether because they’re afraid they’re the only one who sees it, or for fear of reprisals from authority, or just because they don’t want to be the first one to be “negative.” [wry smile] Standing up and pointing to the elephant in the corner of the room, being the one with the courage to go first, can release a logjam of concerns and ideas and discussion, and eventually lead to a solution. It takes that first step, though, to get the process going.

Angie

There’s a difference between
‘telling it like it is’
and being negative.

I don’t have any qualms
about stating my piece
but I do like to keep it positive.
If I talk about problems,
I offer solutions.

I don’t think negativity ever solved anything.
Change is a leap of faith.
We don’t take that leap without hope.

Want to go off topic?
There’s a blog for everything
(even discussions on belly button lint).
Reach out to one of those
and guest blog or comment.
The wonderful thing is…
you’ll grow traffic on your own blog
and keep your existing readers happy.

But please remember
that anything you say on the ‘net
will last forever.

But it’s also interesting that it’s mainly women who feel the pressure — whether self-imposed courtesy of that nagging little voice inside, or imposed from outside through overt criticism and snubbing — to confine themselves way over on the “Nice” end of the pool. I think of John Scalzi and Mike Resnick and Harlan Ellison and wonder where their female counterparts are. Where are the tough, straight-talking, hard-hitting women who tell it like it is and don’t wrap anything in cotton wool, but still come across as rational and informative?

(If anyone feels like giving my URLs, that’d be fine. )

But seriously, there’s a reason English doesn’t have a male equivalent of “bitch,” and that’s because only a woman who’s tough and sharp and doesn’t take crap from anyone is criticized to the extent of getting her own epithet. Men are expected to behave like that, and are admired for it.

Sorry, but if the boys don’t have to tip-toe around every thought, and waste half their energy stressing out in the futile struggle never to offend anyone, I’m not doing it either.

Angie