My oldest kid turned fifteen yesterday, which made me feel a whole lot of things at the same time. Old, proud, and sad. Old because geez, that time is flying by faster than I can keep up, proud because she’s turning out to be quite the young lady, and sad because I know it’s only a matter of time before she’ll be off on her own, and there’ll be one more empty room in my house. A room I’m not quite ready to see empty.
Sigh.
It’s hard to believe this kid went from being a seven-pound, five-and-a-half ounce baby girl into a teenager, that she would ever go from needing to hold my hand every second of the day to asking me to leave the room so she could be alone with her thoughts, or her friends. But the nice part about this age is the time we do spend together, the common ground we have found in, of all things, our age difference.
She has an almost insatiable curiosity for what I was interested in when I was her age. What music I listened to. What books I read. What TV shows I watched. Where my friends and I hung out, what we did…a thousand questions, nearly as endless as those “why is the sky blue” questions of her preschool days. She’ll “discover” a band like Led Zeppelin and then ask me if I liked them, what my favorite song by them was, and then if I also had ever heard of bands like Van Halen, The Who, The Ramones.
Sometimes I have to laugh. Have I heard of them? Uh…yeah, just a little 
.
But it’s been fun. Introducing her to music I loved, singing along with her when I remember the words. Or showing her a book I loved at her age, and sharing it with her after she reads it, too. Curling up on the couch with her, a bowl of popcorn between us, to watch a movie from twenty years ago, and enjoying it all over again, through her eyes.
It’s like living my life again, but without the pimples.
There is, of course, the teenage drama. The angst. And yes, the arguments. Part and parcel of anything ending in teen, but it’s been tempered by the relationship built around common ground, something I hope will keep us tethered, at least a little, when the “teen” drops off her age and she becomes a full-fledged woman and leaves the nest for good. I’ll be devastated, but also proud, and anxious for the day she has her first child.
Because there are an awful lot of books, CDs and DVDs I’d like to share someday with a whole new audience. It worked for one generation. I figure it can’t hurt to try it with the next one, too .
Shirley
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Oh, yes, isn’t it wonderful? Well, it can be wonderful.
I’ve often thought about how a lot of adults can’t stand or understand teens. I wonder at what point in their lives they crossed over from being teens to being can’t-stand-teens. Seems to me a lot of adults look back on their own adolescence with either bitterness or rose-colored glasses. It makes me think maybe, just maybe, the key to not becoming a bitter adult is to keep an open mind and an open heart and be *willing to re-live adolescence* with teens we care about. That can be terrifying for some!
When we think about it, though, *empathy* is the key to any successful relationship. 
When my kids left the nest, I was pleased that they made sure they had copies of “our” music. And it was my son who nagged my husband to make sure he took me to the farewell Simon & Garfunkel concert.
Awww, this is so sweet. I have to go hug my new baby girl.
Jess
Shirley, what a sweet post. As a mother of a 15-year-old and a 13-year-old, it hit home. Teenagers are wonderful. Sure, there’s teenage angst, but we’re fortunate to have children with a wicked sense of humour who make us laugh. I love that you share music and movies with your daughter. She’s a beautful young woman – just like her mom!
My son has discovered all sorts of old tunes via Guitar Hero. *g* And the whole family is enjoying The Buffy and Angel shows. It’s great watching it through their eyes. Thanks again!
All the best,
Gail Fuller
Question for Gail? “Old” tunes on Guitar Hero? My daughter showed it to me when I visited, and I only recognized two on the entire lineup, I think. I’d say time for my Geritol, but probably nobody here would know what that is!
Geritol?! Hey, I know what that is, Terry!
Guess I’m old. LOL!
There were a number of songs I knew. BTW, we’re talking Guitar Hero III. My son really liked Santana and Heart. Wild, eh? He even likes that Rick Astley (blech! – not on Guitar Hero. Phew!) and goes around rickrolling me (singing the song) because he knows I’m not a fan.
Ah yes, everything old is new again! *VBG*
My teen nieces(17&14) love to go thru my itunes library to find new-old artist. The oldest and I also read many of the same books, of course, on the romances I have to read them first so they pass the parents approval.
Shirley, my oldest turns 15 in January! And she was seven pounds, three-and-a-half ounces . . .
We share a lot of the same tastes in movies and television and SUPERNATURAL is one of our favorite shows . . . though I’m a Sam girl and she’s a Dean girl
I haven’t let her read my books yet, probably when she’s 16 . . . though I feel like a hypocrite because I read most of my mom’s books–many that were inappropriate for me!–before 16, and usually without specifically asking . . .
I wonder how time does fly by so fast now?
I know it took me for EVER to reach 18.
Seems like my babies were still, well, babies, just the other day. Now one is 24 and the other is 20.
I’m trying AGAIN to post today — it wouldn’t let me post at all the day of my post. ARGH. I had lots of nice responses to everyone. Not a single post took. Not sure this one will either. RTB loves my blogs…hates my comments, LOL.
But thank you to all the comments!! I play Guitar Hero, too, and it was like rocketing back in time. I suck at the game, and kept losing until my daughter said, “Duh, Mom, you have to STRUM the guitar.”
Oh.
And Alison — my daughter and I LOVE Supernatural!!!!!! We have the same Sam/Dean controversy here!! Same with Prison Break, where I love Michael and she loves Linc.
Shirley
Shirley,
My first-born turns 15 in March. He’s reintroduced me to a lot of music, too. Like Supertramp “Breakfast in America.” Well, that one may even be before your time
Wow, you’re already thinking about them leaving the nest. I’m hanging on to the few “good years” we have left.