One thing I’ve learned over the years is, no matter how talented you are, you can’t succeed at any endeavor unless you give it your all. You have to make it a top priority.
This is true of writing, of course. I’ve known several writers who were tremendously talented–really far more skilled at word-crafting, character-building and plotting than I ever could hope to be. But they were dabblers. They wrote “when they had time,” but usually they let other aspects of their lives take precedence. Children’s activities, day job, home improvement projects, whatever. The writing always came last, and thus they rarely finished anything, or submitted, or sold.
But it’s that way with anything. I’ve dabbled in many pursuits. I had a space at an antiques mall for about three years; I fancied I could do it on the weekends. The harsh truth was, I could stay afloat working on weekends, but I couldn’t make a decent profit. Other dealers were outperforming me because they were in their shops or out working the sales every single day. They lived and breathed antiques.
I dabbled in acting, too. But (big surprise) it was the same thing. If I actually wanted to land decent roles, I had to invest the time and energy, network, volunteer, read the trades, research online, take classes, take chances.
Much to my eternal frustration, I have WAY more interests than I will ever have time to pursue, especially because my writing will always be my top priority. So I’m a dabbler and I never really succeed at any of these secondary interests. Currently I fancy myself an artist, and of course I’m quickly finding out that no matter how beautiful my creations, I can’t do well in this field because I’m not living in that artist skin twenty-four hours a day. Many of my colleagues are. (Most of them are at a juried art show right now; I’m home writing.)
I guess I don’t mind being a dabbler, and I manage to use my experiences as research in my novels. But sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I hadn’t chosen writing, if I’d gone a different direction.
One of my favorite exercises is found in the self-help book Wishcraft by Barbara Sher, and it’s called Five Lives. If you had five lives to lead, what would they be? Today, here are my answers:
1. Novelist. Exactly what I’m doing right now. (Okay, I’d be richer and more famous.)
2. Archeologist. I’ve actually dabbled at this, too.
3. Singer/Dancer/Actress
4. Horse trainer or breeder
5. Visual artist (painting, sculpture, collage, jewelry-making, pottery–something like that.)
Okay, your turn. Tell me about your five lives. And are you pursuing the right one?
Do these five lives have to be based in reality? As in, if I had time and if I had taken that degree (or whatever) I *could have been* XYZ?
Or is it more fantastical and pre-teenish ‘I wanna be a soap star’?
Or maybe, Dalia, it’s not a test and enough with the questions already!
My five:
1. Author
2. Bookseller
3. Superstar tennis player loved and cherished the world over for her amazing whoa-yeah! skills on the court as the Greatest That Ever Lived and off the court as a humanitarian, touching the lives of the world’s disenfranchised. I am hella-beautiful too.
4. Heiress who Made Something of Herself and is successful In Her Own Right
5. Family Law attorney turned Family Court judge.
Nos 1,2 and 5 are achievable I think/hope/sometimes *know*
by Dalia April 22nd, 2008 at 7:34 amOh, how fun! What a great exercise, Kara!
If I had five lives…
1) Businessgal, loving it, living it
by Kimber Chin April 22nd, 2008 at 8:26 am2) Investing goddess, loving it, living it
3) Entrepreneur, loving it, living it
4) Writer, loving it, trying to live it
5) Money manager for Dalia, superstar tennis player (and no, I wouldn’t steal her blind though…), just waiting on Dalia to love it, live it
Kimber Chin, you’re hired!
by Dalia April 22nd, 2008 at 8:30 amMy five lives look similar to yours, Kara.
1) Novelist - living it, but not living off it. Yet.
2) Horse breeder/trainer
3) Entrepreneur
4) Artist (I only draw now, but I’d love to work in oils.)
5) I’ll leave this one as a catch-all.
There are too many other things I think I’d like, but writing takes precedence.
by B.E. Sanderson April 22nd, 2008 at 9:23 amDalia, by all means, throw out all limitations. This is dream stuff. If you want to be a princess, put it on the list!
The main message of the Wishcraft book (one I highly recommend) is that most of our limitations are in our minds, and we don’t really have to choose–we can get at least parts of these dream lives into our lives now. You can work on them one at a time, or do them all at once! (Look at Kimber Chin, LOL, what a Renaissance gal.)
Or, B.E., at some point you might want to combine artist and entrepreneur, which is what I’m doing.
Oh, and it doesn’t have to be FIVE lives. It could be three or ten or whatever!
by Kara Lennox April 22nd, 2008 at 10:07 amWhat an interesting concept. Like you I have far too many interests and far too little time. It is frustrating to join a new group, sign up for their feeds and meet some new people, then realize you are spending only a few hours per week on them because you just don’t have the time.
I think career-wise (I’m quite happy in my home life thank you) mine would be:
1) movie producer
2) writer
3) computer game designer
4) traveler and travel-writer
5) Chef
I find it interesting that my 5 all revolve around telling stories and being creative
by Mark April 22nd, 2008 at 10:39 amOh, fun! Mine would be:
1.) Writer, full time, supporting myself & my family
by KateHewitt April 22nd, 2008 at 10:40 am2.) Gardener–actually able to keep plants alive
3.) College professor–of creative writing, with a nice, wood-paneled office and devoted, talented students
4.) Mother–this one is real!
5.) Travel writer–mainly the travel, combined with writing
1. Novelist without day job. (Although if I can’t be more original than that…
)
2. Forensic pathologist. (Thought about it, but college money wasn’t going to stretch that far.)
3. Video game designer. (Angelic Daughter and I have been playing with some design software, and it is too cool for words. Great combo of creativity and technicality.)
4. Ice cream taste tester.
5. Um… Kerry, Warrior Princess!
by Kerry Allen April 22nd, 2008 at 11:10 amVery interesting exercise. I can’t decide whether it’s inspiring or melancholy, to look at all the roads not taken that I may never have time to take! I’ve often wished I could go back in time to knock some sense OUT of my younger self, because with hindsight I can tell that almost all the choices I regret resulted from being too practical and seeking safety instead of fulfillment and following my dreams! Anyway, my five:
1. Multi-published author making enough money not to need a day job.
2. Violinist. I’m a decent choral alto and I can play piano and guitar a little, so I already have music in my life. But there’s something about a violin that just fills me with yearning to play it.
3. Historical re-enactor. Impossible given my current over-committed life, but I want to know what it feels like to wear the clothes, eat the food, handle the weapons, etc. that the characters in my stories would use.
4. Paleoanthropologist. If I had my college education to do over again, I’d go for a PhD in paleoanthropology. I’ve been fascinated by human evolution ever since I was old enough to read National Geographic.
5. Fencer/swordswoman. Swords have the same effect on me that violins do.
I’m working as hard as I can to make #1 a reality, and if I can ever pull that off, I can explore #’s 2, 3, and 5. It’s just that while working full-time and raising a small child, it’s all I can do to keep writing at the snail’s pace of 15-20 pages/week. #4 is a Road Not Taken, though. Maybe if I’m ever a successful author I can volunteer on a dig in the Great Rift Valley for a vacation…
by Susan Wilbanks April 22nd, 2008 at 12:59 pmIf I had five lives:
1. Novelist/Screenwriter
by AnimeJune April 22nd, 2008 at 1:23 pm2. Singer/Actress
3. English professor
4. Editor
5. Film Critic
What fun! Here’s my five…er, six:
(1) Novelist
(2) Veterinarian
(3) Attorney/Investigator
(4) Green witch
(5) Librarian
(6) Forensic Pathologist
Right now, I teach writing and children’s literature at the college level, and I love my job (except during the last two weeks of the semester–like now!).
I’m actively working on #1, and #4 and #5 are my back-up plans. The best part about writing, though, is that we get to experience all of these different career choices vicariously through our characters. How cool is that???
Sincerely,
by Kacie J April 22nd, 2008 at 1:26 pmThe Dabbling Diva
Susan,
You’re always welcome to come dig in my backyard (especially if Dalia decides to take her fave money manager out on tour with her)!
And bring your sword. Waving it around before you start might prevent my rather rebellious squirrels from throwing pinecones at you.
They are small but evil.
by Kimber Chin April 22nd, 2008 at 1:33 pmBelieve it or not this was kind of hard.
(never going to happen)
by Sarai April 22nd, 2008 at 2:02 pm1. A writer (I am currently working to abtain this)
2. Owner of a little bookstore that was able to stay afloat.
3. Teacher of history in either college or high school (tried high school didn’t stick they mainly want males) I could do college if I would focus…
4. Webpage designer (actually thinking hard on this one for a side job when writing is raking in the dough)
5. A FBI profiler (always wanted to do this.)
It’s strange I havent’ thought of a few of these in years.
Great post!
Mark–
Shoot, I forgot about chef! I’m currently learning to cook and I LOVE it.
Kerry–
I had to giggle at you #s 4 and 5. You’ve definitely gotten into the spirit of this exercise! The next step is to analyze what it is about those lives you would love, and see if there are other ways to get it. (Baskin Robbins lets you taste for free!)
Susan–
If this exercise makes you feel at all melancholy, you should read the Wishcraft book. My husband took up fencing after age 50–cheap classes at Rec center. (Now he’s invested hundreds of dollars in equipment–sheesh.)
AnimeJune–
Looks like you have some that could be combined, too!
Kacie–
Oh, oh, I forgot about being a homicide or missing persons detective! And librarian, all those lovely books … er, what is a green witch? I’ve heard of it but now I can’t remember what it is.
LOL, Kimber, I’ve been dueling the squirrels as well. I’ve finally found a way to keep them off the bird feeders–until they figure it out.
Kara
by Kara Lennox April 22nd, 2008 at 2:10 pmIf this exercise makes you feel at all melancholy, you should read the Wishcraft book. My husband took up fencing after age 50–cheap classes at Rec center. (Now he’s invested hundreds of dollars in equipment–sheesh.)
Thanks, Kara–I’ll look for it! If I sell my WIP (which is set in 1805), I’m planning to by a replica of the sword my hero carries, so I should find a way to take lessons and learn how to use it.
by Susan Wilbanks April 22nd, 2008 at 2:41 pmOoh, Kara (Hi!), love this exercise. I’ve thought about it sometimes… Okay, here’s mine.
1. Novelist/screenwriter (making a living wage)
Lots of fun.)
by Gail Dayton April 22nd, 2008 at 3:51 pm2. Librarian
3. Investigator/detective
4. Artist (I did get back into oils after a 30 year break–and need to block out time for them again, after moving)
5. Movie/theater critic (Actually did some of this too, when I was the “gossip columnist” for the very small town weekly paper where we used to live–I reviewed all the high school and junior college plays. The students would wait for the paper to come out next week, so they could read their reviews.
Okay.
1) Novelist who writes stories with heroic nannies in them. Picture Mary Poppins wearing black leather to match the pram.
2) First American Nanny to a member of the British Royal Family, probably the Earl and Countess of Wessex.
3) Novelist who writes adventurous romantic stories with great dads in them. Picture a knight in shining armor with a baby in a sling on his back.
4) Britney Spears’ Nanny, but it’s probably silly to think I could have done anything to help her transition to motherhood so she wouldn’t have gone off the deep end.
5) Novelist who writes stories about Hot Mamas in Outer Space. That is, the Hot Mamas are hot, but they’re also mommies who happen to kick butt in outer space. Picture a baby in one arm and a plasma-pistol in the other.
I actually have a bazillion other interests, but I’m not interested enough in them to make the time to pursue them beyond hobbies. Oh, that’s right, I don’t have time for hobbies because I have so many babies and books to write. Nevermind.
by Kimber An April 22nd, 2008 at 4:11 pmKara, in a (oversimplified, I’m sure) nutshell, a green witch is someone who tries to connect with nature on the deepest possible level, often by growing her own fruits, veggies, and/or herbs, by taking long hikes in the woods, by identifying and using medicinal plants, herbs, and teas, making potpourri and scented candles, and by eschewing the materialism in modern American society. I see it as a kind of modern-day version of transcendentalism.
I don’t see me giving up my lattes or wearing burlap anytime soon, but it’s such a romantic idea!
by Kacie J April 22nd, 2008 at 5:02 pmWhat a neat idea!
by Chris Redding April 22nd, 2008 at 5:04 pm1 Writer (I am)
2. Singer for a rock band
3. Flight Paramedic/Nurse
4. Librarian
5. disc Jockey (which I’ve done)
Sarai–
Often this exercise is surprisingly hard, because “harsh reality” has caused us to forget how to dream. You did good, though!
Gail (Hi back!)–
I think sometimes we can have our dreams, reformatted. I dabbled as a critic for a small publication, too. It was fun, but after doing that I realized I didn’t want to do it any bigger. (They paid me in food.)
Kimber An–
Ah, you’re at the obsessive stage, which is fine. Write your little heart out while the fire burns hot. Eventually other lives will call to you, and you can let them in. I love your ideas! Especially the updated Mary Poppins thing.
Kacie–
I sort of had the right idea about a green witch. Nice thought, especially today! I’m all into cooking with my own herbs, which is satisfying in a way I never imagined.
Chris–
Oh, rock singer! I wanted to be Pat Benatar or Joan Jett. And I forgot antiques dealer, too. Okay, I definitely need more than five!
Thank you all so much for playing the game!
Kara
by Kara Lennox April 22nd, 2008 at 11:02 pm[...] of the blogs I read regularly (Romancing the Blog) opened a topic of discussion on what we’d do with our five lives. All of my alternatives, [...]
by What? Not looking for a job? « Pennermag.com April 23rd, 2008 at 10:41 amVery interesting question, Kara! I actually had to think about it.
1. Full-time novelist. Check.
2. Working for a cause I believe in. I did this for 13 years in the California State Capitol. I believed in a lot of what I was doing, but ended up being a tad disillusioned and working twice as hard to accomplish half as much.
3. Forensic pathologist. This was my dream job until I had to dissect an animal in school and didn’t think I could handle a human, so I switched my “dream” job to journalism. But recently after observing an autopsy, I realized maybe I would have had the stomach for it. Thing is? I would rather have investigated a crime than find out someone died of cancer.
4. Own a bookstore/coffeehouse. When I was in high school, I walked into this small coffeehouse that had stacks of books. It was quaint and charming and I loved it. Since, I’ve wanted my own. I know the business is struggling, but then again, I’ve wanted to be a writer my entire life and even though it’s hard to break in, I did it. So maybe owning a bookstore/coffeehouse is in the future.
5. Judge. I’ve always wanted to be a judge, but I never wanted to be an attorney.
by Allison Brennan April 23rd, 2008 at 1:31 pmWhat a great topic! I don’t check in here too often, but hey.
My 5 lives:
by CrankyOtter April 23rd, 2008 at 8:49 pm1) Engineer - what I am now, but kind of skewed to development rather than manufacturing. I think.
2) Glassblower - I do this as a hobby. It almost pays for itself, but not quite. I don’t want the artist lifestyle I would need to do this full time, at this time.
3) Reader/ Book Reviewer. I read a lot. This would not surprise anyone here. And whenever I don’t think I “should” write reviews I do. When I think I “should” I put them off. So maybe this wouldn’t work.
4) Archaeologist. Yeah, so you lead with this one, but I minored in it and it has been an interest for a long time. I have no expectation of being Amelia Peabody though.
5) Assassin. maybe I read too many novels, but I’d like to be a top level operative who is really, really good at it. I have no intention of turning this into real life though as I have almost none of the skills, including patience or being still.