Comments on: Soul Mates http://www.romancingtheblog.com/blog/2008/02/06/soul-mates/ What's hip, what's now, what's tomorrow in the romance genre world. Sat, 09 Jan 2010 20:26:04 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Barbara Samuel http://www.romancingtheblog.com/blog/2008/02/06/soul-mates/comment-page-1/#comment-23478 Barbara Samuel Fri, 08 Feb 2008 16:42:53 +0000 http://www.romancingtheblog.com/blog/2008/02/06/soul-mates/#comment-23478 Kristie, I hope you will find a new companion. That's always a tough challenge, an early loss. Kristie, I hope you will find a new companion. That’s always a tough challenge, an early loss.

]]> By: Kristie(J) http://www.romancingtheblog.com/blog/2008/02/06/soul-mates/comment-page-1/#comment-23464 Kristie(J) Fri, 08 Feb 2008 00:51:23 +0000 http://www.romancingtheblog.com/blog/2008/02/06/soul-mates/#comment-23464 I love soul mates stories and I believe in them in real life. I met and married mine. It's not that we didn't have our share of troubles in the marriage - we did. But because both of us truly believed we were meant to be with the other, it helped us work through our difficulties. I lost him just over a year and a half ago due to cancer - we would have been married 32 years and not a day goes by when I don't long for him back again. I'm open to the idea of someday finding someone else - but I doubt he will be my soul-mate the way my husband was. I love soul mates stories and I believe in them in real life. I met and married mine. It’s not that we didn’t have our share of troubles in the marriage – we did. But because both of us truly believed we were meant to be with the other, it helped us work through our difficulties. I lost him just over a year and a half ago due to cancer – we would have been married 32 years and not a day goes by when I don’t long for him back again. I’m open to the idea of someday finding someone else – but I doubt he will be my soul-mate the way my husband was.

]]> By: Barbara Samuel http://www.romancingtheblog.com/blog/2008/02/06/soul-mates/comment-page-1/#comment-23427 Barbara Samuel Thu, 07 Feb 2008 02:09:48 +0000 http://www.romancingtheblog.com/blog/2008/02/06/soul-mates/#comment-23427 Katie, great comment on the best friend soul mate. A soul mate can be anyone, parent, sibling, friend, child. Alice, comedy can definitely be based in soul mates! I think of Crusie's Bet Me and the shoes. Over the top, very funny, absolutely soul mates. It's just that my hunger *right this minute* is for that big, sweeping, desperately over the top love story about soul mates. Probably historical. It doesn't seem to work as well in contemporaries (though it can). So many great insights. Thanks to everyone who posted a suggestion for books to read. As for MOC, I really love them, too. A different kind of story, but they can be soul mates, too. Katie, great comment on the best friend soul mate. A soul mate can be anyone, parent, sibling, friend, child.

Alice, comedy can definitely be based in soul mates! I think of Crusie’s Bet Me and the shoes. Over the top, very funny, absolutely soul mates.

It’s just that my hunger *right this minute* is for that big, sweeping, desperately over the top love story about soul mates. Probably historical. It doesn’t seem to work as well in contemporaries (though it can).

So many great insights. Thanks to everyone who posted a suggestion for books to read.

As for MOC, I really love them, too. A different kind of story, but they can be soul mates, too.

]]> By: Kate Hewitt http://www.romancingtheblog.com/blog/2008/02/06/soul-mates/comment-page-1/#comment-23426 Kate Hewitt Thu, 07 Feb 2008 01:34:25 +0000 http://www.romancingtheblog.com/blog/2008/02/06/soul-mates/#comment-23426 This makes me think of 'kindred spirits' in Anne of Green Gables... people who 'get' you. My husband is my soul mate, because we're married and we've loved and learned and grown together. I think a soul mate is something/someone you grow into, not necessarily someone you share an instant connection with, or who is foreordained for you. I think that's why I love MOC stories--they have to learn to love each other, and that is a beautiful thing. Kate This makes me think of ‘kindred spirits’ in Anne of Green Gables… people who ‘get’ you. My husband is my soul mate, because we’re married and we’ve loved and learned and grown together. I think a soul mate is something/someone you grow into, not necessarily someone you share an instant connection with, or who is foreordained for you. I think that’s why I love MOC stories–they have to learn to love each other, and that is a beautiful thing.

Kate

]]> By: Kalen Hughes http://www.romancingtheblog.com/blog/2008/02/06/soul-mates/comment-page-1/#comment-23425 Kalen Hughes Wed, 06 Feb 2008 23:55:55 +0000 http://www.romancingtheblog.com/blog/2008/02/06/soul-mates/#comment-23425 I guess "Soul Mates" always seems to imply a lack of choice, and a lack of effort. It just IS. And I don't believe in that. I believe in lust at first sight. I believe that the almost eerie feeling of having known someone forever can be a beautiful thing to build a relationship upon, but I don't think there's just one perfect "Soul Mate" lurking about out there for each of us. I guess “Soul Mates” always seems to imply a lack of choice, and a lack of effort. It just IS. And I don’t believe in that. I believe in lust at first sight. I believe that the almost eerie feeling of having known someone forever can be a beautiful thing to build a relationship upon, but I don’t think there’s just one perfect “Soul Mate” lurking about out there for each of us.

]]> By: Eva Gale http://www.romancingtheblog.com/blog/2008/02/06/soul-mates/comment-page-1/#comment-23424 Eva Gale Wed, 06 Feb 2008 22:38:01 +0000 http://www.romancingtheblog.com/blog/2008/02/06/soul-mates/#comment-23424 "How many times have we read stories of childhood sweethearts who had all these plans for their futures and somehow got separated for years, had full, beautiful lives with other partners, other soul mates, then met and reconnected?" My WIP is based on a friend's parents. They got married young, had her, got divorced and lived on opposite coasts. In the meantime, they remarried, had more kids, and became widowers. Well, they reconnected when Friend got engaged and got the guts to call up a father she hadn't seen in years to walk her down the aisle. That olive branch turned into a full family healing, and her mother and father remarried a few months after she did. “How many times have we read stories of childhood sweethearts who had all these plans for their futures and somehow got separated for years, had full, beautiful lives with other partners, other soul mates, then met and reconnected?”

My WIP is based on a friend’s parents. They got married young, had her, got divorced and lived on opposite coasts. In the meantime, they remarried, had more kids, and became widowers. Well, they reconnected when Friend got engaged and got the guts to call up a father she hadn’t seen in years to walk her down the aisle. That olive branch turned into a full family healing, and her mother and father remarried a few months after she did.

]]> By: Susan Kelley http://www.romancingtheblog.com/blog/2008/02/06/soul-mates/comment-page-1/#comment-23423 Susan Kelley Wed, 06 Feb 2008 22:13:33 +0000 http://www.romancingtheblog.com/blog/2008/02/06/soul-mates/#comment-23423 I think people can be soul mates, but maintaining a marriage is hard work. No matter how 'meant' for each other two people are, there will be conflicts. Love is why a couple bother to work out the big and little things. In a book, I love a little conflict between a couple. I usually don't care for a book where either the hero or heroine 'know' this person is their mate for life and it can be no other. I want them to work toward an equal relationship. That's more like the real world. I think people can be soul mates, but maintaining a marriage is hard work. No matter how ‘meant’ for each other two people are, there will be conflicts. Love is why a couple bother to work out the big and little things. In a book, I love a little conflict between a couple. I usually don’t care for a book where either the hero or heroine ‘know’ this person is their mate for life and it can be no other. I want them to work toward an equal relationship. That’s more like the real world.

]]> By: Sarai http://www.romancingtheblog.com/blog/2008/02/06/soul-mates/comment-page-1/#comment-23422 Sarai Wed, 06 Feb 2008 21:35:58 +0000 http://www.romancingtheblog.com/blog/2008/02/06/soul-mates/#comment-23422 I believe in soul mates and I know it sounds cliche. My husband and I met freshmen year in college. Dated for six years and finally got married to no ones surprise. We are nine years together and can’t believe our good luck. Do I think we would have found someone else to live with: Possibly. Do I think that we would have been this happy with another person: No. I do think our lives would have gone on but there are just too many times that we could have missed crossing paths but we didn’t. Every decision we made in school forced us together. He didn’t want to go to college he wanted to join the army. His dad talked him into going to our school. I had a scholarship to another university to play soccer but I backed out to go to our school. Little things like that lead me to think huh maybe we were meant to be together. I really like reading the Dark Hunter series. It is about two people who are meant for each other that are not mates. She isn’t born to be with him and only him ect... If you like the mate thing I would check out Christine Feehan’s different series. :razz: I believe in soul mates and I know it sounds cliche. My husband and I met freshmen year in
college. Dated for six years and finally got married to no ones surprise. We are nine years together and can’t believe our good luck. Do I think we would have found someone else to live with: Possibly. Do I think that we would have been this happy with another person: No. I do think our lives would have gone on but there are just too many times that we could have missed
crossing paths but we didn’t. Every decision we made in school forced us together. He didn’t want to go to college he wanted to join the army. His dad talked him into going to our school. I had a scholarship to another university to play soccer but I backed out to go to our school. Little things like that lead me to think huh maybe we were meant to be together.

I really like reading the Dark Hunter series. It is about two people who are meant for each other that are not mates. She isn’t born to be with him and only him ect… If you like the mate thing I would check out Christine Feehan’s different series. :razz:

]]> By: Gini http://www.romancingtheblog.com/blog/2008/02/06/soul-mates/comment-page-1/#comment-23421 Gini Wed, 06 Feb 2008 21:31:10 +0000 http://www.romancingtheblog.com/blog/2008/02/06/soul-mates/#comment-23421 I love Soul Mate stories, the high drama, fated soul mates that you describe. You're right they don't seem to be published so much now which is TRAGIC! Authors please keep writing them and publishers keep publishing them so we can buy them! I don't care if they reflect true life or not, they just make great fiction. The only recently published story (and as yet unfinished story) I've read recently that meets all your criteria is C.L. Wilson's 4 book story, Lord of the Fading Lands (Bk 1) and Lady of Light and Shadows (Bk 2), books 3 and 4 are due out at the end of the year. I couldn't understand why I wasn't enjoying them more when I was reading them, they had everything I love in a story in them and beautifully done. Then I realized it was the pace, I'm so conditioned into H and H meet, have trials and tribulations, have resolution and HEA in under 400 pages that I wasn't prepared for this story over 4 books. It was like trying to dance to a type of music I'd never heard before; lots of missteps and nerdy bobbing around completely out of rhythm. So now I “know” if someone rings a bell, I'll start salivating... hopefully a re read will hit the mark. Some other authors that meet most of your criteria, that I have thoroughly enjoyed recently are Kresley Cole with her Immortal after Dark series and Nalini Singh with her Psy – Changeling series. In the other Soul Mate theme (two pieces of the same jigsaw) that I've recently read is Lord Perfect by Loretta Chase in which the H and H so beautifully complement each other in character that they are “Soul Mates” (just not in the high drama, fated soul mates style). A fabulous story. I haven't read Megan Chance so will add her to my TBR list. Thank you! I love Soul Mate stories, the high drama, fated soul mates that you describe.
You’re right they don’t seem to be published so much now which is TRAGIC! Authors please keep writing them and publishers keep publishing them so we can buy them!
I don’t care if they reflect true life or not, they just make great fiction.
The only recently published story (and as yet unfinished story) I’ve read recently that meets all your criteria is C.L. Wilson’s 4 book story, Lord of the Fading Lands (Bk 1) and Lady of Light and Shadows (Bk 2), books 3 and 4 are due out at the end of the year. I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t enjoying them more when I was reading them, they had everything I love in a story in them and beautifully done. Then I realized it was the pace, I’m so conditioned into H and H meet, have trials and tribulations, have resolution and HEA in under 400 pages that I wasn’t prepared for this story over 4 books. It was like trying to dance to a type of music I’d never heard before; lots of missteps and nerdy bobbing around completely out of rhythm. So now I “know” if someone rings a bell, I’ll start salivating… hopefully a re read will hit the mark. Some other authors that meet most of your criteria, that I have thoroughly enjoyed recently are Kresley Cole with her Immortal after Dark series and Nalini Singh with her Psy – Changeling series. In the other Soul Mate theme (two pieces of the same jigsaw) that I’ve recently read is Lord Perfect by Loretta Chase in which the H and H so beautifully complement each other in character that they are “Soul Mates” (just not in the high drama, fated soul mates style). A fabulous story.
I haven’t read Megan Chance so will add her to my TBR list. Thank you!

]]> By: Jill http://www.romancingtheblog.com/blog/2008/02/06/soul-mates/comment-page-1/#comment-23420 Jill Wed, 06 Feb 2008 20:04:59 +0000 http://www.romancingtheblog.com/blog/2008/02/06/soul-mates/#comment-23420 This is an interesting question and one I don't think I'll ever have the answer to. I think the truth is somewhere in between. I am sorry if I blather on, but I have a lot to say! About 18 months before I met my husband, I fell for someone very deeply for the first time (I was 20 so I was little old to experience my first hormone rush!). Nothing ever happened b/c I was too shy. We parted at the end of the summer good friends. I got upset with him (for a stupid reason) and we lost contact. Then I found out about 6 months after from a mutual friend that he had become engaged to someone, someone he knew before he even met me. I thought I had put it all behind me, but I cried all the way to work that day to the point where I was shaking and making noises like an animal. I had to find a public restroom before I got to work, cry the rest of it out and go on. When I did meet my now husband some time later, I felt attracted to him, but we knew each other at work and I didn't know a lot about him. When he asked me out, I was brave enough to say yes. The old pre-heartbreak me would have found a reason to say no, to worry that something would go wrong. But I had learned that you can't run from your own feelings if they are strong enough. We clicked and fell in love very fast. My friends were shocked when I told them after 3 months of being with this guy I was moving to a new state and a new life. This was my first boyfriend ever, keep in mind! Sometimes I still wake up amazed at how my life turned out. My husband is one of the kindest, patient, most wonderful people in the world and I am lucky to share my life with him. We love each other, we're best friends, but love is also a shared choice and we chose to be together every day, to be a united front against all the crap that is out there in the world. I think the first experience (the intense broken heart) made me open to the idea of the second (real long lasting love). Does that make one of these men my soul mate? Maybe. I think more importantly, I believe in the right person at the right time. If I had met my husband before my "heartbreak", I would have been to shy to open up to him. If I had met him too soon after (say a month or so) I would have been too mopey to spend time with him. Maybe if the first man had met me at a different time things would have worked out differently, but it just wasn't meant to be. My husband and I have one close friend that met us after we started dating. She said she can't imagine us apart, that we're more than soul mates. That we're "cut from the same rock." I tell her it is not that simple, but I kind of like that expression :grin: This is an interesting question and one I don’t think I’ll ever have the answer to. I think the truth is somewhere in between. I am sorry if I blather on, but I have a lot to say!
About 18 months before I met my husband, I fell for someone very deeply for the first time (I was 20 so I was little old to experience my first hormone rush!). Nothing ever happened b/c I was too shy. We parted at the end of the summer good friends. I got upset with him (for a stupid reason) and we lost contact. Then I found out about 6 months after from a mutual friend that he had become engaged to someone, someone he knew before he even met me. I thought I had put it all behind me, but I cried all the way to work that day to the point where I was shaking and making noises like an animal. I had to find a public restroom before I got to work, cry the rest of it out and go on.
When I did meet my now husband some time later, I felt attracted to him, but we knew each other at work and I didn’t know a lot about him. When he asked me out, I was brave enough to say yes. The old pre-heartbreak me would have found a reason to say no, to worry that something would go wrong. But I had learned that you can’t run from your own feelings if they are strong enough. We clicked and fell in love very fast. My friends were shocked when I told them after 3 months of being with this guy I was moving to a new state and a new life. This was my first boyfriend ever, keep in mind!
Sometimes I still wake up amazed at how my life turned out. My husband is one of the kindest, patient, most wonderful people in the world and I am lucky to share my life with him. We love each other, we’re best friends, but love is also a shared choice and we chose to be together every day, to be a united front against all the crap that is out there in the world.
I think the first experience (the intense broken heart) made me open to the idea of the second (real long lasting love). Does that make one of these men my soul mate? Maybe.
I think more importantly, I believe in the right person at the right time. If I had met my husband before my “heartbreak”, I would have been to shy to open up to him. If I had met him too soon after (say a month or so) I would have been too mopey to spend time with him. Maybe if the first man had met me at a different time things would have worked out differently, but it just wasn’t meant to be.
My husband and I have one close friend that met us after we started dating. She said she can’t imagine us apart, that we’re more than soul mates. That we’re “cut from the same rock.” I tell her it is not that simple, but I kind of like that expression :grin:

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