I had this deep, meaningful, discussion-inspiring topic planned for today. I’ve been thinking of writing it for weeks. But when the time came to write it this weekend, it wouldn’t come. It’s a topic that I still plan to write about…maybe next time, but this time around I scrapped it.
Which left me sitting on my couch, looking around the living room wondering what was wrong with me—a topic that’s interesting and will spark discussion. Why don’t I want to write it? Answer: Because I’m tired.
I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one, but this week, I’m tired of talking about “issues†in romance and publishing. I don’t want to talk about plagiarism, ethics, epublishing, RWA, authors behaving badly, mean girl bloggers, bankruptcy, fan fiction, racism, erotic romance equaling porn or any other issue. I’m tired. That doesn’t mean I don’t want insightful posts, that I think we shouldn’t have critical discussions or that romance should be full of nice girls and that if you can’t say anything nice you shouldn’t say it. I don’t mean that at all. But instead of seeing a romance reader post about how, recently they find problems with every romance they read, and leading me to wonder why they’re reading romance at all, I want to hear about why people love romance. Not to be corny, but I want to celebrate romance.
I want to tell you that I’ve loved romance for over twenty years. That I’ve been reading Nora Roberts for most of those and that I’m completely delighted that her online and in-person persona are just as fun, classy and interesting as her books. That I’ve met a number of romance authors whose books I can’t wait to hand to my daughter some day and say “This book is fabulous. I met the author and she’s funny, amazing and kind. I hope you’ll read it and love it as much as I did. As much as I do.â€
I want to tell you that I love romance because of the happily ever afters, the emotion, the characters I can relate to, the unique story lines that transport me to a new time, a different place, an unusual setting.
I want to tell you that I love romance because it takes me away, it makes me smile and makes me cry. I love it because it’s made me who I am, it’s given me an outlet when I didn’t have another and it’s led me to friends I’d have never made otherwise.
I want to tell you that I love romance because of what it is to me, despite what people who’ve never read it might think, despite what people on the outside looking in might see, and that I’ll continue to love romance in spite of its issues, its foibles and its warts.
I want to tell you that I love romance.
And now, because I’m tired, because I think you might be tired, I want you to tell me why you love romance. Remind me. Remind yourself.
No related posts.
Oh, that’s where my brain went! You have it! (*deletes nearly identical post, weeps, and prays to any deities within earshot for a new topic before the due date*)
I love romance. I’m not embarrassed to be seen in public with one, and I’m not shy about responding to anyone with something snide to say about it.
I love romance for the same reasons I love every other genre I read. What makes it special, though, is its affirmation of lasting love. When anyone says, “But that stuff’s not real,” I point to the one blissfully happy couple I know. They’re ordinary people like you and me, they have ordinary jobs and mortgage payments and bad days, but they look at each other and fireworks go off. They have all that “not real stuff.” They didn’t settle for less than the “fairy tale,” and they’re going to last forever. It feels good to be around them, and since they won’t let me live with them and I don’t know anyone else who’s gotten it right, I sustain that glowy, warm, hopeful feeling by reading about characters who, eventually, will get it right, too.
I love romance because I want to read about love and hope and happy endings. I like them funny, I like them angsty, I like them set in the past, present and future, I like them in every flavor and subgenre because at the core they are all about love and hope and happy endings.
Most of the time, I can take or leave the Happily Ever After. After all, some of the greatest love stories are of when one person sacrifices him or herself for the other. Technically, that’s not considered an HEA. When I’m having a bad day, however, I gotta have my HEA and the Romance genre can always be counted on for that.
I will counter Kimber An’s view (LOL, Kimber, are you surprised?) and say for me, the big attraction in romance IS the happily ever after.
Sure, give me strife along the way (tears shed) but at the end of the book, give me happiness. Give me hope. Give me that warm fuzzy feeling I still get when my hubby gives me “that” look.
There is nothing in the world quite like it.
Great post, Angela!
Why do I love romance? It’s simple. Escapism. It makes me believe in love at first sight, rekindled flames, destiny, animal magnetism, selfless acts, passion, chivalry and happily ever after. A spoonful of romance helps me be able to swallow what can sometimes be a harsh reality. It allows me that moment to forget about everything else but the characters and the storyline. If I’m extra lucky, the romance included some major arse kicking which will then totally make my day.
I LOVE romance! I’ve loved it since I was a wee little girl of thirteen, and love it now at thirty-three. I love any and all romances, torrid ones, funny ones, in all genres and styles.
I love the dashing heroes, the sexy heroines. Most of all I love being swept away into a world where despite everything – a mean and evil villain, society’s dictates, a thousand and one differences between them – the Hero and Heroine find love and live happily ever after. Le sigh.
Viva la Romance.
And thank you for this very inspiring post, Angie.
Lovely post, Angela.
I love Romance because it celebrates love–its power, its joy, its pain and its foolishness–and because it brings me along on the journey two people take toward each other.
I love romance for the escape into a different place, into the lives of people who find the perfect match for each other. I love to be held suspended and be able to watch two people fall in love, with all its joys, its heartaches, its sadness and happiness. I love the HEA at the end and everything that happens in between.
Great post Angie!
I came to romance via science fiction – especially Lois McMasters-Bujold’s books Miles Vorkosigan books. It was the relationships actually being explored and how the science (or other events) affected those relationships.
It is the growth of the characters that draws me in. I tend to like the stories or series where the characters actually gradually grow into themselves despite the most idiotic things they do – just like most of us.
Pax,
MLO
What a great post! I love romance for all the reasons everyone else does and more. I love romance because it inspires me to dream, and dream big.
I love romance because stripped down to its barest essence, it’s about two people. It’s about emotion and experience and the good, the bad, and the ugly and everything in between.
For me, ultimately, it’s about the connection two people make with each other and the world they create for themselves, whether it has an HEA or not.
I love romance because it’s happy, sexy, soft, sweet, erotic, and has a happy ending.
There’s so little romance and soft, happy, sexy in today’s world. Romance gives me hope that it still could happen.
I’m tired too
I love romance because it’s a release like the other genres in fiction. I can identify with the heroines and melt when it comes to the heroes. Thankfully there are several sub-genres so I can have fantasy one day and historical period the next. I like the happy endings even if one knows they’re coming because in today’s uncertain world it’s nice to have that small comfort. I like that a shared interest brings me in contact with interesting fellow romance fans and I am often challenged in the discussion, gaining new insights and evaluations of the books I enjoy.
I’m relieved to see that I’m not the only one getting depressed every time they read the posts on this blog.
I think I read romance for what my friend Marley calls the “gut punch” moments. It could be a shared look, or a kiss, or a declaration of love, but those moments that make you go “ahhhh.” Can’t get enough of it!
It’s interesting, I think, that even in other genres, people can’t get enough of the romance. I don’t write romance, but the NUMBER ONE question I get on my books is “Who is the heroine going to end up with.” Everyone loves romance.
I love romance for the memory of my second kiss. My first was a mistake, but my first real kiss, well, I literally couldn’t see straight. I was sixteen then, now years later, I’m so in love with my husband, but now what I physically feel is comfort and warmth. Sometimes I need to be reminded what it felt like when it all was new, dangerous, and thrilling. Then I can look at my husband and feel it again.
I love romances because I love and believe in love. There is nothing more noble than that.
I love romance because I think in our culture today, we tend to assume that reality-based fiction has to be dark and cynical.
Romance IS reality-based fiction: we all love to fall in love–we love the feelings it invokes, the hope it inspires, and the angst that typically accompanies it. Romance simply focuses on the positive experiences in our real lives–the first date, the first kiss, the first passionate night together–and reminds us that reality isn’t just boring jobs and bad days.
Romance celebrates those moments that keep us going through the boring jobs and bad days, and reminds us why, when the sun comes up each morning, we can’t help but feel hopeful that perhaps something GRAND will happen today…
Don’t worry Angela, everyone has ups and downs especially when your doing something all the time. Give it a mini-vacation, go read a mens adventure book and laugh at the over-the-top action and shallow paper cutouts that stand in for real characters. It will remind you of what you love about romance and HEA, but sometimes you have to see the Ying to remember the Yang.
Being a guy I can appreciate both sides of it. I love the action and adventure in mens stories, the explosions, the guns, the Rambo-esque rescue of fair maidens and the exquisite trouncing of bad-guys.
But I really do love the HEA and the thought that the smile of a woman can bring a warrior to his knees more surely than a bullet can. That two people can find each other and discover the best part of life, the one thing that separates us from the animals-love.
I so enjoy when two people are fiercely in love with each other and yet deny it or are forced to ignore it, but like a freight train racing towards us it keeps building and building until we (the readers) are literally shouting at the pages for them to stop tormenting us and finally kiss each other. The mark of a great story, great characters, great writing and great love is when it all comes together like that.
Its what keeps me reading and I hope it never ends. Men need more than bullets.
Stealing from the movie Ghost I will just have to say… “Ditto”.
Great post, Angie!
At this point in my life, I love romance because it takes me back. I read or heard somewhere that marriage is the death of anticipation. I know I’m getting a kiss on the cheek before work and an IloveyouLoveyoutoo.
When I read a romance, it brings back memories of the tingle—will he call me, will he kiss me, omg, is he going to tell me he loves me?
I love romance novels because they remind me of how delicious love is, while promising me it will last forever.
What do I love about romance? Everything.
I know when I pick up a romance, It’ll be a satisfying ending, but a rollercoaster ride along the way.
I love that while set in all different times, places and with all sorts of characters, there’s something I can relate to–the concept of falling in love. It brings a personal edge to a paranormal or fantasy or mystery.
It makes me believe. It gives me hope. It tests my emotions and enhances them, I think. Romance gets me invested in ways other genres can’t. It’s why there’s a romance in each story I write, and preferably, each story I read.
Now, doped up on flu meds, I hope that made some sense.
I love romance ‘cos of the escapism quality, that little thrill I get when the hero and heroine first kiss, etc. I even like to cry when the book is done cos I got so wrapped up in the emotion of the story.
There’s nothing better than a great romance. Thanks for reminding us of that, Angie.
I love romance because it insists that Happily Ever After is possible.
I agree with Trish! Love that happy ending!
[...] wrote a refreshing post at Romancing the Blog–deviating from all the hoopla that’s going on an any given day in the romance-blog [...]
Back in the day, when I was 12-13, I spent all my babysitting money on Barbara Cartland books – I had quite the collection, which I had to store at a friend’s house so my mom wouldn’t catch on and berate me for ‘wasting my money on trash’.
Mom still doesn’t get it, but she’s too grounded to like romance. I think people who love this genre have varying amounts of magic in their blood.
Okay, Angie, I’m finally gonna ask – what IS that woman holding? Yaknow, besides the whip.
Stef
I love Romance because for the time I am reading, I can forget about the carpet needing to be vacummed, the kids that are fussing at each other and that the last romantic thing my hubs did for me were flowers-sometime last year. I love romance because two people can find their other half, that their lives are not less but so much more than what they were and that there is a HEA. I have mine, it’s nice to read of others finding theirs.
Oh. My. God. I am rolling…I JUST figured it out, after all this time!!!! That’s HER FOOT!
Wow – that’s one helluvan optical illusion. HaHaHa!!!!
Okay, never mind – I’m slinking back under my rock, feeling werry, werry foowish…
Great post–thank you! I love romance because it celebrates the power of love–transforming, redemptive, healing and triumphant! And I love all the little things, too–the tingly shiver when the hero and heroine meet, or kiss, or even just cross paths, the wonderful HEA, and of course the moment before when it seems like the HEA will never happen. I love it all, and I’ll never tire of reading or writing about it.
Kate
I love being reminded of the feelings of falling in love. I am in love, and love, my husband, but that clutch at the chest, that nervous stomach, that all-consuming mind freak that comes when one falls in love–that’s ten years old for me. Romances allow me to feel that again. At least, the really good ones do.
A good movie can do the same thing.
I love romance because it’s about all the things in life that matter. Love, family, friends, home, finding yourself, growing as a person, accepting yourself and others. It makes me feel good, but it’s not fluff, not for me. I’ve spent the last ten years, fighting depression, mending the marriage that suffered from it, having children, and figuring out who I am, and growing into the perfect me. Those things are monumentally crucial to me, they’re what life is about, and that’s what I get when I pick up a romance novel.
I love romances for a list of reasons. But at the heart of my list is “and they lived happily ever after.†The ending everyone wants. The golden, glowing, I-know-I-can-touch-it-this-time-if-I-stand-on-my-tippy-tip-toes-and-stretch-a-little-further hope. The ideal my heart reaches for always regardless of the other lessons it’s learned in real life. In a romance, no matter what happens, true love is not only possible, but WILL happen, WILL fight, WILL triumph. And most important, will last. I live in a very real world – don’t we all? I need that break, that glimpse into hope that keeps me grounded and encouraged. Because though I don’t see my ideals realized often – any ideals, not just “true love†– I still believe in them. But some days those beliefs get a terrific beating and a good romance – erotic, sweet, historical, paranormal, etc. is just the patching up I need for all those scrapes and bruises.
And yes, I ADORE those gut-clenching, heart-stopping, oh-my-god-YES!! moments too!
I was just thinking today about how Suzanne Brockmann has a really successful formula going in her “Troubleshooters” books, with the secondary ongoing relationships that keep you coming back to find out what happens. And it struck me that the reasons that formula works is because we *know* that ultimately we will get the payoff – she won’t let us down – she *will* get those lover together eventually. Because she’s a romance writer.
I think there are – for lack of a better word, products – which are based on dissatisfaction. A friend of mine has a theory that people keep eating McDonald’s burgers because they’re never quite good enough. They always leave you hungry for what you were hoping to get and didn’t get.
And then there are products based on satisfaction, on getting exactly what you were hoping for. Romances generally fall into that category, and I think that’s why people get so very upset when authors “break the rules.”
And that’s why I don’t eat McDonald’s burgers and do read romances.
I love romances…because I’m a romantic. It’s simple. I can be a complete cynic in reality and with my own love life, but deep down I still want to believe it’s possible. That’s why I read and write’m.
Amen to that, this was a great post.
I love romance because I’m a sucker for that gut punch that Diane P. was talking about in her comment, those very moments, whether it’s a shared look, a simple kiss or that simple phrase that sucks my soul out and steals my breath…..is why I love romance.
[...] said these things, too. But this week, I had an experience that reinforced Angela’s recent column and reminded me what I love about romance. And here’s the unusual part. It came by reading an [...]