I’m not fond of too much sex in a romance novel. Authors quite often bombard readers with chapters filled with detailed sexual encounters between the hero and heroine. I’m not a prude; like most people, I love sex and I don’t mind reading about it. Some
authors, however, go a bit too far, neglecting character development in favor of extensive description of the hero’s tightening loins and “weapon of passion.” Personally, I don’t care about his loins, not when they’re mentioned in every chapter.
It’s hard to enjoy a romance novel, when you’re left questioning the seriousness of the characters’ feelings. A novel filled with too much sex and little else inevitably leads one to wonder whether a couples’ ending is truly a “happily ever after” one. We are left to examine whether the love is simply lust or mere infatuation. It’s up to the author to assure us that the heroine and hero are indeed meant for each other. We shouldn’t use our imagination for that. On the contrary, it should be spelled out for us.
Character development is essential; the reader must fall in love with the characters and understand why anyone would develop deep feelings for them. Only then is a happy ending, a “’til death do us part,” truly believable. Sex alone isn’t enough; for longevity in a relationship, you need more. Unfortunately, some authors didn’t get the memo.
What are your views on the topic? Do you find romance novels filled with sex and little else fulfilling and enjoyable reads?
Please Note: The post concerns romance novels only, not Erotica.
No related posts.
Daniela’s love for books began as a child in her native San Francisco, where she lived a block away from her local library. The love (some call it OBSESSION) followed her to college where she studied English and History and soon developed a passion for Britain’s Victorian and Regency periods. She loves Jane Austen and considers Austen’s lesser known PERSUASION one of the greatest romances of all time. Daniela reads any chance she gets; her favorite romance authors are Lisa Kleypas (she claims to be her #1 fan), Mary Balogh, Loretta Chase, Julie Anne Long and Candace Hern.
I agree 100%, and as a writer, I can’t imagine filling pages and pages with sex. Wouldn’t it feel pointless after a while if that’s all there was to a relationship?
I think it’s really necessary to take a balanced approach in life and in writing. It’s like the perfect chili recipe… if all you have is spice, you’ve got nothing!
The trouble is the borders, subjective borders, between romance and erotica. Personally I would call anything that has graphic sex scenes in it erotica rather than romance – for me Romance “closes the bedroom door” when it comes to The Act itself.
But in a book generally, I don’t mind the sex scenes as LONG as they progress the plot and are not there for sex sake. Some writers don’t seem to be able to make this distinction. I read a book recently which in total was about 40K and I’m not kidding you, 18K of that was sex. As soon as they started off again I just flipped through the pages until they finished. There was no point to it.
We can assume that (especially in a newbie affair) the protags are doing it like bunnies at every available opportunity but there needs to be plot, and we don’t need to see it.
Jeez I sound like a prude, but anyone who knows my work will know that that’s far far from the truth.
When it comes to sex scenes, the key for me as a reader is caring about the characters. Just as watching total strangers go at it on Pay-Per-View porn does nothing for me, reading about characters doing the deed without knowing them – without caring how the sex affects them emotionally, or what the consequences of the act might be – leaves me cold.
But give me a chapter or two to get to know them? Give me good reasons to like them and be concerned for their well-being? Then give me sex scenes in which something is at stake – self-esteem, emotional security, friendship, even love? Finally, write the sex from the inside out – how it feels emotionally to be making love to this person, not just physically? I’ll be your fan forever.
I realize Erotic has been hot the past few years and the publishing industry wants to cash in on that, but I wonder if they realize how many readers they’re driving away? These readers are the foundation of the Romance genre itself and more of them are afraid to buy *New* every day. This means their numbers are not being counted. The result is lop-sided statistics and readers who will have to be wooed back into the fold all over again.
I love sex in a romance novel but there are some novels that do go a tad overboard. I don’t mind it if the characters and the plot are good. My meter rating to see whether the extra sex was necessary or not, is if I take out the sex scenes and the story would still go on without it. If the story can go on without the sex then the author overdid it.
I’m with you here. As with everything in a book, sex should go toward driving the story forward. I don’t write sex scenes usually, but even when I hint at it, there’s a reason behind my choice to do so.
As a reader, if I’m reading along and I can skip over the sex scene without losing any of the plot, IMO it shouldn’t be there. *shrug* Just me. I don’t have a problem with sex scenes; I just don’t require them in books to increase my enjoyment of the story.
I agree with your post and all of the comments so far. I also think sometimes the sex is just too much, not too many words, or too explicit, but too… ummm.. “explosive”. I read romances to escape, and fantasize, and I’m glad the hero is well-endowed and all, but does he have to have an erection 24/7 the size of a Nebraska? Can he just have a release, instead of unleashing Niagara falls 8 or 10 times? Can he make love, instead of unleashing some huge power to the point where it is almost violent? Everything these days is more more more. And sometimes, more is cartoonish, ridiculous, and barely skim-worthy.
Sex in romance novels to me is icing on the cake. But there has to be cake first. but I have to admit I love me some icing…thick, rich, delicious icing…
Romance novels have always had sex–shoot I used to sneak my grandmother’s categories and they always had references to “cores” and “manhood” liberally sprinkled throughout. To criticize erotic romance as “non-romantic” is kind of silly, because the only difference is in how explicit the words are.
But as for quantity, I have to agree. I write erotic romance and I refuse to pack the pages with hot lovin’. Because a good piece of erotica has to make sense, have a plot, and be interesting, IMHO. I’m reading one now that has sex in EVERY CHAPTER. It is terrible, and it could have been great but I’m just bored with it. I want my sex scenes to keep a reader riveted to the page just as much as the rest of the novel. I don’t want people skipping my words to get back to the plot. Well, you know what they say about too much of a good thing…
I totally agree with you, I am so not a prude but I’m still getting used to detailed sex in novels. The plot and good character development definitely has to be there before you add in the juicy bits. But if the other two aspects are done right than it is indeed the cherry on my ice cream sundae.
Love that
I love sex scenes, and I admit, if you close the door on me I get miffed. BUT, I need a reason for that sex scene. Ms Crusie says that a sex scene is an action scene. An action scene needs a GMC. Otherwise it’s filler.
And, to me, there are lines between ‘hot romances’ and erotica. Erotica is a story where sex is THE central conflict. So in my seat, there are many hot romances parading around in erotica clothing in hopes that they sell better. I’ve written both.
And I agree with Selah up there. For me, in order for a sex scene to work, I need to be in the characters head. I call it head sex, or brain sex. It’s NOT an internal dialogue of Oh,oh,oh,Dear GOD! It’s a peeling away of the emotions that the action lays bare.
All my opinion, YMMV.
I’ve never responded here but wanted to say I wholeheartedly agree. I LOVE erotic, sexy scenes…when it’s clear there is more than just lust at play. Even when two people are not in love yet, there is more than lust when they’re right for each other. Compaitability on many levels is the most compelling and believable romance, in my opinion, and this includes chemistry and sexual attraction. When I write, I try to show why two people should be together, not just why they want to jump each other’s bones. I think I’m more appreciattive of this now that I’m divorced and know without a shadow of a doubt that initial attraction doesn’ t make two people’s values and personalities compatible.
I don’t necessarily need the H/H to be in love before they have sex, and I can enjoy a well-written sex scene as well as the next person…BUT, I agree with B.E. Sanderson–if I can skip it and not miss anything but the sex, then the sex is gratuitous: it does nothing to move the plot forward or help me get to know the characters better.
I NEED to be emotionally connected to the characters to enjoy the sex scenes. The best examples that I can think of off the top of my head (scenes that I absolutely did NOT skim) can be found in Midnight Bayou by Nora Roberts (2001).
I tend to skim/skip the sex scenes in many novels because too often, the scenes are more physical than emotional, and um…I’m not twelve anymore, so I know how everything works.
I read a book that was definitely a romance that had a sex scene in every chapter after they first did the deed. The sex didn’t forward the plot and at the end of the book I didn’t believe they’d go one HEA, unless they just wanted more sex.
Now I read a book by Maggie Shayne(sp) she had 1 and a half sex scenes. The best sex scenes I’ve ever read. The 1/2 one could have put any erotic novel heat factor to shame. The sex was the conflict. You knew while you were reading that scene it was more than sex going on.
And I think another factor to the feeling of too many sex scenes is the sex after glow. What has changed for the character’s once they have sex? I think this is what some of you mean if you skip it and didn’t feel like you missed something then the scene wasn’t needed. The great books, I have to go back and read the sex scene to understand why things haven’t gotten better between the two characters.
Daniela, I so agree with you. Oftentimes it seems like sex scenes are written to reach the heat level the publisher requires. Those scenes are boring to me–and from the comments, a lot of other readers. I like Evan’s Jennifer Crusie comments. Yes, sex scenes should have a GMC, and the good ones do.
If the sex scene doesn’t add anything to the story
or doesn’t reflect the personalities of the characters
(hint: humorous folks don’t lose their sense of humor during sex),
then I usually skip over it.
And if all the story does is go from sex scene to sex scene,
then its a wall banger.
LOL
First of all, let me say that I myself have never used the word “loins” in a sex scene. I think that loins and body parts constantly referred to as throbbing, heaving, or quivering contribute to the labeling of romance as somewhat tawdry stories.
I agree that the envelope has been pushed to the point where it’s torn, and I think that the popularity of erotica is behind it. As long as this genre remains a big seller, romances are likely to get spicier and spicier.
Alka-Seltzer, anyone?
Bettye Griffin
http://www.bettyegriffin.com
I agree with you about characterization being important. That said, what I read doesn’t have to end in a ’til death do you part’. I’m happy with a implied promise of a lasting relationship. Can love scenes be over done? Yes. Are all love scenes over done? No. Unfortunately, that line in the sand is subjective. :/
“Do you find romance novels filled with sex and little else fulfilling and enjoyable reads?”
Well technically, if you look up the elements of what makes up a romance, a book with the above description could not be a romance. It would be erotica. Romance requires plot, characterization, conflict, the build to the dark moment, and the resolution of the dark moment which flows to Happily ever after ending. (which doesn’t need to be a marriage but does need to be commitment)
Erotica is a broader category and does not have the above genre restrictions and could just as easily contain a story that fits within the above description or hold a full woman’s fiction novel. The lines between erotica and romance in a labeling sense have been blurring lately and a reader is just as likely to find a hot romance under an erotica imprint as they are to fine an erotica book under a hot romance imprint. That’s because how a book is labeled, how a book is marketed, how a book is interested is subject to a variety of opinions.
My November Spice release, Caine’s Reckoning is a good example. The Hell’s Eight series is 100 percent erotic romance, but as it’s being released under Spice’s very broad Erotic fiction umbrella, the word romance is not mentioned at all in the marketing or the cover. I like the fact that this imprint is allowing such variety in their content, btw, initially it surprised me the word romance was avoided as usually any romance angle in any genre is played up for sales purposes. The only indication that this is a romance is the studly (VERY studly *sigh*) male torso on the cover. Love the cover. And I honestly think that torso shot says “Here there be romance” more effectively than a hundred romance references ever could so it makes sense that the adventure and erotic components be played up in the descriptive space.
Loins? Makes me think of pork chops and the fact that in all likelihood, I’ve forgotten to thaw something for dinner.
I write both sweet/tender romances and the not-so-sweet/tender romances (but not erotica)– and I try to focus on the emotions involved rather writing something that sounds like assembly directions (Insert Tab A into Slot B…).
I agree, definitely. Sex just for the sake of sex is boring; I won’t write it and only rarely read it. Sex which advances the plot, illustrates character, develops relationships, defines setting, even provides some humor — so long as it serves some purpose I’m happy to read. But when it looks like the writer just duct-taped in a sex scene because she thought she needed more sex right there, I skim until the actual story starts up again. [shrug]
Note that when I was in my teens and twenties I had the opposite view. I read any sex I could get my eyeballs on and was of the firm belief that the “sweet” romances would all be improved by the addition of sex. I suspect it’s just a factor of how many sex scenes I’ve read, now that I’m in my forties. Been there, read that — straight, gay, kink, whatever. The novelty has long since worn off and it takes more than just friction between two or more bodies to interest me.
Oh, and re: his “weapon of passion,” I could definitely do without all those dorky euphemisms. [headdesk] One of my (otherwise) favorite romance writers back in the seventies used terms like “honey pot” and “sugar box” to refer to the female equivalent, and even my teenage self cringed. It hasn’t improved all that much since. It’s true that in a more formal setting, such as a Regency historical, the cruder modern words would be jarring, but surely we can find some happy medium.
Angie
I love your comment Selah. I want to know the characters. I want to feel their…whatever before I can appreciate the sex. I keep trying to write hot, sexy stories but, the sex always ends up being secondary. A short that I started as a project for an erotic publisher is now over 8K and still, no sex scene. Okay, there’s a closed door implied…at the very begining but… I hadn’t even described both characters, how could I have an open-door, hot, steamy sex scene? I couldn’t.
I like the cake comment. LOVE the icing. Gotta have the cake. Moist, rich, flavorful cake.
Great topic!
Well, jeez, now I feel bad.
I was going to say that I have never read a romance novel with too much sex in it. Of course, as long as it is hot, it can be as pointless and plotless as they want. I do love the romance novel sex, but then I am younger and undersexed, I suppose.
Actually, this is probably a little weird, but I was rereading a book recently, and when I put it down, I thought, “I don’t think I have ever seen an orgy in a romance novel. That would be awesome! I wonder if there are any…?”
Oh, and I hate the loins and the Rod of Love, and all that. Just come up with a historically accurate word- I tend to think “cock” especially in Regency novels- and use that. It sometimes makes sense to me that all these Regency virgins refer to their sexual longing as “fire burning in the belly/womb/stomach” but I hate that with the passion of a thousand Rods of Love. If it sounds like a romance novel and not what a person would say, it sends me right out of the book.
A well done sex scene at the right time in a story is great. However, sex for the sake of having a sex scene can be annoying. It’s like sex in old movies. Since the films couldn’t have people ripping off their clothes, the dialogue was much better, edgier, well-crafted. Romance stories are much better if the author focuses on the story and adds the sex instead of having a lot of sex in a thin story.
Having the bedroom door open does NOT spoil the romance – on the contrary it makes it more “realistic” if the author has spent the time developing sensual tension as well as characterization and the plot. BUT the problem is we’ve lost just that, sensual tension – too many of the erotic romances are starting with sex, followed by more sex and because they have favored sex instead of characterization I just don’t care so you keep flipping pages, looking for the story which many times isn’t there…
Every scene in a book should move the story forward. Something should be learned or gained from each scene. If not, it doesn’t need to be in the book. Sex scenes aren’t excluded from this. If anything, deeper emotional connections are expected during and after love scenes have occurred, while oftentimes new conflicts can arise *g*. This ia all a natural part of building and working one’s way through a relationship.
A few definitions? (Not dictionary ones, but ones generally accepted by the publishing industry today)
Romance – a story primarily about a relationship which ends in a happy ever after
Erotica – sexually titillating narrative. No happy ending required, no committed relationship.
Erotic romance – a romance with graphically described, non-purple prose sex scenes.
I write highly sensual, sensual and erotic romance, and it’s a lot of fun to do. It is tricky to show the development of a relationship from its start to its happy ending using sex scenes as part of the development, but it can be done.
I think that an adult relationship of a romantic nature involves sex. I’d be worried if it didn’t. An erotic romance uses sex as part of a developing relationship, which by the end of the story leads to commitment and love. Some writers seem to assume that one sex scene is much like another, but that’s about as far from the truth as saying all kisses are the same.
There is sex for fun, sex for comfort, friendly sex, consolation sex, and deeply passionate, fully committed sex. And more.
True, you don’t have to see the sex or read about it to know it is going on. But I like it, and I really don’t understand why a book without it is considered romance and a book with it isn’t!
I thought the British were supposed to be the repressed ones? Ah well, we can’t all live up to our stereotypes, can we?
I like sex. I like to have it, read about it, and write about it. But I find myself bored, annoyed, amused, or disturbed by a lot of sex scenes. My pet peeve is the euphemisms for various things. I am never happy to come across a “throbbing member.” (Under any circumstances.)
No thanks! I like my romance and I like my erotica but I like them separate. Explicit sex distracts from a good romance. And intricate romance distracts from good “throbbing” porn