The book of my heart is driving me nuts.
I love this book, so much that I’m afraid it will never live up to the high hopes I have for it. I know down deep in my soul that this book is the one that could boost me up to that next rung on the career ladder. Even my critique group agrees that it’s different, special, that I’ve really found my voice.
So why haven’t I finished it? Oh, I have a first draft. But I finished that a couple of months ago, and since then I’ve been tinkering. I know it needs a lot of work, but I’m not sure how to proceed. The manuscript is littered with yellow-highlighted comments, notes to myself to freshen up clichés, liven up flat dialogue, pick up the pace, research this or that. Some things I know just how to fix; others I’m not so sure. I spend hours every day deleting bad paragraphs, then trying to figure out how to bridge gaps and I end up writing a whole new scene.
I’ve written a lot of books, yet I’ve never had one behave like this one. Or, more accurately, I as a writer have never written like this, piecemeal. My normal process is to write straight through, revise straight through.
Can a writer change her process? Can a pantser become a plotter, or vice-versa? Can a linear writer (me) become an all-over-the-map writer? And if my process is changing, does it mean I’m growing as a writer, or am I simply cracking up?
I really am puzzled, and if anyone has any experience with this, or advice, or reassurances, please speak up! I don’t want to end up one of those writers who agonizes over the same manuscript for ten years, never finishing anything.
No related posts.
I can be the same way. I have one idea for a novel that I’ve been tinkering with for years. Sometimes I think it will never be done. I have a girl friend who’s the same way.
There’s nothing wrong with being all over the map. Margaret Mitchell wrote the last chapter of Gone With the Wind first when she started writing her classic novel.
I always wrote my books start to finish, until Candy Kisses, my last one. About half-way through, I jumped to the end and wrote the last two chapters. On the book I’m working on now, after four chapters, I’ve been “compelled” to skip the middle and write the last three chapters. It’s driving my critique crazy because they don’t want to read out of sequence.
No advice or reassurances here – I’ve been bitching on my blog about that very same experience. I wrote the first book straight through, and tweaking my way into final draft was not problematic. But book two… Aak. Talk about a recalcitrant mount. And the problem is not the book, I think. It’s me. I’m just too invested in this one, in a number of ways.
Kara, I ran into a similar problem this past year. I’m a doctoral student and adjunct professor in English, and for many years, I’ve been very successful writing seminar papers using the same linear process–until this past spring. I found myself frustrated, lost, and unsure how to proceed, which gave me a whole new appreciation and understanding of my composition and creative writing students. I had never experienced anything like it–writing had always come very easily for me.
I think it’s clear evidence that you ARE growing as a writer. Anytime you step outside of your comfort zone–whether it involves finding your way around in an unfamiliar town or stepping outside of your typical writing process–you grow. This doesn’t mean, though, that you won’t go back to your linear process when your next project comes along; in fact, you probably will go back. However, you’ll return to that process with a deeper level of awareness of how the process works for you, and with a few extra tools in your writing toolbox.
When I was in a similar situation this past year, I had a deadline, so I was forced to work my way through the revisions. It was frustrating, difficult work–and it was eventually successful–but I found that the experience has made me a better writer and a better writing teacher. Good luck, and let us know how it goes…
I write all my subplots seperately.
In Wolf Hunters I of course had the basic frame roughed in. I knew approiamtely what would happen to my main character and about in what order. But the novel itselv spanned several worlds and the lives of many secondary characters. I dealt with these ast hought they were individual stories in an anthology.
I wrote Jazz and Yulri’s story first — 17,000 wrods that spanned the whole scope of the novel. I then wrote Xera’s story (bout 7,000), then Jamison’s,(about 8,000), then Nikola’s (about 7,000),then Thaddesus’s (another 9,000).
Then I wrote Anastasia’s story — the central story of the novel. I broke the short stories into scenes that fi the overall framework and wove the various narrative threads into a whole. When Anastasia interacted with the other characters, their lives were already laid out, so I knew what they were thinking and where they were going. Some of these short stories needed adjusting, but it was minor (in fact, the last page I typed was an adjustment near the middle of the book).
I wrote my first novel linear and with no idea where it was going (that’s why it’s in the drawer for good
), made rather detailed outlines for the next two I worked on parallel, only to realise I didn’t follow the dang outlines and got stuck all the time, until I decided to screw outlines and linear progress. Now I write so non-linear it’s not funny, with a vague idea where I’m going. I also work on three books at the same time, and what amazes me most is that I don’t get them mixed up.
Kara,
My advice is to take a week off from that particular project, or even two weeks. Go work on something else. Then read over the troublesome manuscript from Page 1. You will probably say, Damn, that’s good!. Chances are you will bubble over with enthusiasm and write like crazy.
Good luck!
Bettye Griffin
http://www.bettyegriffin.com
Thanks for your comments, everyone.
Cassie, Jean, KeVin and Gabriele–it really is comforting to know that other writers have experienced this. At least I have a rough draft in place, which I wrote in the “normal” way.
Liane–I think you hit the nail on the head. I am very invested in this project because I believe it’s special. It’s different than anything else I’ve ever done and feels “right” in a way that’s hard to describe.
Kacie–I hope you are write that I am growing and improving. I’ve been chugging along in my career for many years, not really making the great leaps forward I would like, so maybe this is a sign that I’m now ready to leap. (I can hope, anyway!)
Bettye–I’ve already taken so much time with this book I shudder at the idea of taking more time off. But you may be right. My next project is, unfortunately, revisions on a different book that I have put aside for months!
Kara
At the risk of sounding like something from the Karate Kid… I used to get really frustrated in martial arts when it seemed like things stopped flowing, I was all arms and legs like a newborn colt. My instructor would nod and say something mysterious. I eventually caught on, and would later pass on the good news to my students. When things are about to change for the better, in a major way, you’ll go through a phase in which the old way of doing things doesn’t work for you. You notice the old mistakes, because you’ve progressed, and everything feels discombobulated for a while. When you naturally correct them, you’ll be in sync again. This can also be accompanied by a fear of change/success.
I told you, too wax-on, wax-offish for a romance loop, huh? But I remind myself of this all the time, in nearly every aspect of my life. It helps, even if it’s not true
)
I seem to be changing my process, and it’s driving me crazy. I used to be an all-out plotter. Synopses were fun and easy for me, and the finished book was very close to the synopsis.
Now I seem to be morphing into a pantser. I still have to plot out the major turning points and do the character development in advance, so there’s no just sitting down at the computer and seeing what happens. But at the same time, I’m not really sure how or even why those major turning points will come about until I get there, and that makes my synopses really vague and disjointed. Then I’m finding that I don’t really figure out what the book is actually about until I have a first draft, and I have to take the book apart and put it back together again. I have all the pre-writing work of a plotter and all the rewriting of a pantser.
Now I think I may even have to go non-linear. The proposals I’ve been writing aren’t working because three chapters isn’t nearly enough for me to have the slightest clue what the book will be like. I may try at least sketching out the turning point scenes I imagine or any other scenes that pop into my head, in whatever order, to get a feel for the book before I try writing the first three chapters for the proposal.
You’d think it would get easier and concrete with each book, but I seem to keep getting vaguer and vaguer and more reliant on my subconscious.
If you find the answer, please let me know! I’m going through something similar, and like you, I’ve just about come to the conclusion that I’m losing it. lol
Oh well, I’ll just blame it on menopause…
Cool…