When my RTB columnist day loomed large on the calendar once again, I asked for suggestions and got one that I thought made for a great topic: “In the sex scenes, who determines how sexy they are? You or your characters?”
The answer: they do. They dictate everything about the scene, from what language is used to the setting and props and costumes and the key emotion driving the scene. Because different characters have different needs, different preferences, different emotions and primary drives, different motivations.
The first sex scene in a book is always difficult, because no matter how many of them I’ve written before, it’s the first time for these characters. What would they say and do? What would be outside of their comfort zone and what would make them step past that line? It’s always a process of discovery. I find out things I didn’t know about my characters as they reveal themselves to each other.
Some are comfortable in their own skin, some are insecure with their bodies or their sexuality. This affects the dynamic of the scene. Outside of their own feelings, needs, backgrounds, there’s the dynamic of the relationship. Is it playful? Intense? Seductive? Is the sex complicated by their mutual history, or the fresh slate of two strangers? The same character will be different with a different partner because the relationship is different.
Sex scenes are rich with emotions and sensations and driven by the characters, defined by who they are at that time and place. As the relationship progresses, the sex scenes can show the transition as who they are to each other shifts. It’s a beautiful opportunity for showing, not telling. The body language, the physical cues, the way the lovers treat each other. The internal conflicts intensifying as they move towards a crisis point before resolving.
Characters direct the action, no matter the scene or situation. It’s no different if it’s a sex scene or dialog or a car chase or a tea party. How many times have you read something only to stop and say, “wait a minute, he/she wouldn’t do that.” That’s “the plot said so” action. The plot called for it, so the character did it. Nothing inherently wrong with letting the plot direct the story, as long as it takes the character’s motivation into account and establishes the why. Maybe he/she WOULD do that, under the right circumstances. In fact, an out of character act can be very powerful, showing what the hero or heroine is made of by how they behave under pressure, what choices they make.
To set the scene for sex, I don’t have to plot out the wildest scenario I can imagine or choreograph every action. All I have to do is ask the right questions.
Why would the responsible and conservative heroine have sex with a stranger? Why would a woman who felt insecure about her body get naked with a man who’d seen better? Why would a logical person act on impulse? Why are these people here with each other and what do they stand to lose or gain? What’s at stake? What do they want and what will they do to get it?
The higher the risks and potential rewards, the greater the intensity of the scene and the hotter the sex, as a general rule. All determined by the characters and how they react to the situation they find themselves in.
“The first sex scene in a book is always difficult,”
That’s the way it should be.
In reality, the first sex scene
between two people
is difficult,
why should it be any different in novel land?
I dislike those “perfect” sex scenes,
by Kimber Chin June 27th, 2007 at 8:29 amwhere nothing goes wrong
(like cracking a head with a raised knee)
and its “the best sex ever”
despite the two people not really knowing each other’s bodies.
[...] I’m at RTB talking about S-E-X. Writing it, that is. Come on over and share your thoughts! [...]
by Writers Blog » Blog Archive » I’m not here today June 27th, 2007 at 8:40 amKimber, you’re right, that first scene can be awkward or surprisingly easy for the people involved. It all depends on them! It doesn’t hurt to lighten the moment with a little comic relief if there are bumped noses.
by Charlene Teglia June 27th, 2007 at 8:43 amEveryone’s first time together is awkward which is why I loved FAKING IT by Jennifer Crusie. Anyway, I have to agree the character’s do dictate the scene and what I found out is if the characters aren’t ready you have a really flat sex scene.
by Melissa June 27th, 2007 at 11:30 amThat’s a tough question for me. I am my characters while i’m writing the scene, they are so deeply embedded in my brain, that I get confused if it’s them or me. It’s their reality - my fantasy.
by Naughty Nikki June 27th, 2007 at 11:41 am[...] Charlene Teglia’s Wild, Wild West–she’s talking about sex on RTB today…the naughty naughty girl! [...]
by No WWW « miladyinsanity June 27th, 2007 at 11:50 amMelissa, Faking It is one of my favorite books! I loved that the first sex scene didn’t work because of the lies. Very true to the characters and the story, and it made the last sex scene so much more powerful, when the truth is out!
by Charlene Teglia June 27th, 2007 at 12:25 pmNikki, it’s sometimes a fine line, isn’t it? But I’ve discovered too many times that my characters will have likes and dislikes that don’t match mine, and it’ll hurt the story to enforce my opinions, tastes, etc. on them.
by Charlene Teglia June 27th, 2007 at 12:27 pmHello, May!
by Charlene Teglia June 27th, 2007 at 12:27 pmGreat column, Charli, and right on the mark. Each scene is as different as the characters. It’s always interesting to see where they’ll take you as a writer. Sometimes it’s fun and other times it’s been way out of my comfort zone. But the characters always dictate what happens–I’m just the writer. *g*
by N.J. Walters June 27th, 2007 at 1:07 pmNJ, every time I get dragged outside my comfort zone, I have to remember that it’s *their* story, not mine.
by Charlene Teglia June 27th, 2007 at 1:11 pmCharli,
You’re spot on! The characters have to be the one running the show…or it just comes out all wrong. Trying to force what you like or you think should happen just makes anything–but especially sex–seem stilted and unexciting.
Great blog!
by Shelley/Shayla June 27th, 2007 at 1:49 pmShelley Bradley/Shayla Black
Charli, I couldn’t agree more. Some characters dive right in, while others like to dip their toes.
by Jordan June 27th, 2007 at 1:51 pmHi Shelley! Stilted says it very well. If it’s forced writing, it’ll show in the reading.
by Charlene Teglia June 27th, 2007 at 1:57 pmJordan, I love your analogy. And now I want to go swimming.
by Charlene Teglia June 27th, 2007 at 1:57 pmI think that characters dictate, having an experienced character can make the experience different, two people both nervous would have the light heartedness, but HEAT like flaming hot passion, shoot, If you bump your head you may not even realize it until the next day when you have a headache.
by Cara North June 27th, 2007 at 3:28 pmGreat post, Charlene! Kimber Chin’s response gave me food for thought.
Bettye Griffin
by Bettye Griffin June 27th, 2007 at 3:52 pmhttp://www.bettyegriffin.com
http://www.chew-the-fat-with-Bettye.blogspot.com
Cara, good point, in the heat of the moment you can overlook a few things.
by Charlene Teglia June 27th, 2007 at 5:09 pmGlad you enjoyed it, Bettye.
by Charlene Teglia June 27th, 2007 at 5:10 pmChar wrote: Why would the responsible and conservative heroine have sex with a stranger?
I love this one. Because sometimes, you just need to say WTF. Act on impulse. Let it rip, the hell with the consequences.
I used this with my heroine in Immortal Protector - faced with her own mortality, she says to hell with propriety, I want to live what time I have left to the hilt.
I’ve seen it done well with prim or proper characters who project that facade, but beneath, are a seething mass of passion. Mostly this is done in Regencies, or historicals. The characters are so staid to the world, presenting one face, but beneath, they are seethig and full of passion, poised and ready for a walk on the wild side.
As to awkward, first times, yes, there’s always something there, like a burr under the saddle. It’s part of what drives you into the second scene.
by Ursula June 28th, 2007 at 9:14 pmOne thing that drives me crazy is the silly terms for sexual organs. Actually, too much description is kind of a turn off for me, even though, being male, I enjoy seeing two sexy bodies in action in a well done scene on screen. What I enjoy on the page is the set-up, the mounting tension and sexual energy, like two rubberbands being twisted together again and again until they reach their breaking point.
by KingM June 29th, 2007 at 11:25 amNaughty Nikki wrote:”It’s their reality - my fantasy”…
I totally agree! The H/H is really living the fantsy….mine! If their reality in the scene matches my fantsasy…it’s a go!…lol
by romancefanreader June 30th, 2007 at 5:23 pm