A conversation overheard through the thin wall of a men’s room:
Mind if I crash at your place tonight?
Why? Heather throw you out again?
Yeah. I think she means it this time.
No way, man. That chick loves you.
She has a funny way of showing it. She called me a Neanderthal, and then she muttered something about a divorce.
Dude. You didn’t grab your crotch in public, did you? Because women really hate that.
Not that I recall. I don’t know what’s wrong with her. She keeps yammering about me not being sensitive to her needs.
Oh. Sounds like we need to get you some therapy.
You mean couples therapy?
No, dummy. She’s mad at you, remember? The last thing you want to do is suggest she might have contributed to the problem.
Well, forget that, then. I’m not going to some touchy-feely therapist all by myself. There’s nothing wrong with me.
‘Course not. But you want to prove to Heather that you’re sensitive, right?
You’re telling me that if I see a therapist, she’ll think I’m sensitive?
Did I say anything about seeing a therapist? You got to start reading, dude. Romance novels.
You’re crazy. Men don’t read romance novels.
Not true. I’ve got a stash under my bed. Why do you think I’m so good with women?
I always thought it was the hair and the Mustang convertible. And you work out, too.
All that helps, yeah. But what a women really wants is a man who cares about her needs. And nothing says “Hey, I’m sensitive” like a couple of dog-eared romance novels on your coffee table. Seriously.
I don’t get how reading romance novels could possibly–
Dude, is your brain offline, or what? Haven’t you ever noticed how chicks gush about the men in romance novels? Short of making unpleasant body noises, a romance-novel hero can get away with anything as long as he’s tender on the inside. So all you gotta do is let Heather know you’ve started reading romance. When she asks why, you just say–
That I’m trying to understand her needs. Got it. And you’re sure this will work?
What have you got to lose? Study the heroes’ dialogue. You’ll find a lot of great lines in romance novels. Just steer clear of direct quotes from books by bestselling authors and you’ll be fine.
I guess it’s worth a try. So, you wanna lend me a couple of books?
Sure. Let’s start you off with some Nora Roberts. All the chicks read Nora.
Thanks. I’m beginning to think this might actually work.
It will. But there’s just one more thing.
What’s that?
Remember not to grab your crotch in public. Women really hate that.
Ah, so that’s why some men read romance - for the lines…
by Bernita May 19th, 2007 at 7:41 amLoved this post!
by Nell Dixon May 19th, 2007 at 8:28 am:mrgreen:Pretty good, only real men don’t talk that much about relationships. Especially in the John. Sex, yes. Not relationships. They’d nail it in one or two sentences each. I’d say these men are on the right track to being smart husbands. The first rule of good husbandry is to realize that it doesn’t matter if you’re right or wrong. All that matters is getting your wife to stop being mad at you. The husband who understands and puts that into practice never has to go without.:wink:
by Kimber An May 19th, 2007 at 8:34 amGreat post! If only more men understood this!
Lynette
by Lynette Rees May 19th, 2007 at 10:55 amHysterical. I caught my husband checking one of my books out once - he was looking for the sex scenes (sigh).
by jeanne May 19th, 2007 at 12:10 pm*snickers*
When my husband and I first got together (we’re both writers and met at an online writing forum), I tried to convince him to read some of the romance novels out there. The last time he’d picked up romance was Harlequin in the late 80s, along with some bodice rippers, and as such had a very low opinion of the genre. Then I tossed him some paranormals (as he is a hardcore SFF reader) and he’s been hooked ever since. We’ve walked to the B&N register together, me with a couple fantasy novels and him with a stack of five or six romances. It gets us some very odd looks. LOL.
by Nonny May 19th, 2007 at 1:23 pm:grin:Oh, that is funny, Nonny! Hey, men can really pick up some fresh ideas.:lol:
by Kimber An May 19th, 2007 at 1:36 pmLOL
by JackieToo May 19th, 2007 at 1:38 pm[...] Brenda Coulter gives Romance Therapy at RTB. [...]
by The Stalker on Saturday « miladyinsanity May 19th, 2007 at 1:50 pmI only more men *were* the men in romance novels! Sigh! Love those sensitive alpha guys. . .:cool:
by Ericka Scott May 19th, 2007 at 3:10 pmGreat post, Brenda.
by mary beth May 19th, 2007 at 4:51 pmDH reads all my Shelley Bradley books now. He says they help him understand me better, but I’m pretty sure it’s because Shelley writes a great love scene.
Great post! Funny.
Gwyneth
by Gwyneth Bolton May 19th, 2007 at 10:52 pmI don’t know about quoting lines, but I must say that when we’ve both been reading romance novels, my wife and I have the flirty banter thing down to a T.
At some point, of course, the kids are going to figure out what we’re so smirky and happy about–but I figure we’ve got another decade for my son (11), and two or three years left for my daughter (8).
“The first rule of good husbandry is to realize that it doesn’t matter if you’re right or wrong. All that matters is getting your wife to stop being mad at you.” A-MEN, Kimber An. I learned that one from my daddy, and already taught it to my son. Without the addendum about “going without,” of course. (See above; he’ll figure it out, eventually.)
by Eric May 21st, 2007 at 10:00 pm