I just returned from the Romantic Times Booklovers Convention. Enjoyed meeting up with friends and making new ones. As the conference closed, it occurred to me that I look for different things in conferences these days. I know, I’m stating the obvious. Bear with me. I used to be able to attend any conference and learn something about writing. That’s not the case anymore. I truly enjoyed all the extra-curricular activities that RT offered, but I found myself longing for something with more substance. Something that didn’t leave me feeling so alienated. I wasn’t alone. Everywhere that I went I heard authors talking about how something was missing.
What did these writers have in common other than fabulous costumes? They were all at a certain stage in their career that they no longer qualified for newbie, but hadn’t reached established yet. I kept mentally referring to us as ‘Tweeners’. We are at that awkward stage where we don’t really fit into either world. I have to say that it’s as uncomfortable as that stage before you hit your teens. You feel like your face is breaking out and everyone is staring at you, waiting for you to make a mistake. Or in my case–trip. I’m not the most graceful of individuals. (wg)
When did this happen? When did we cross that invisible barrier that rubbed off the last of our ‘newness’? I almost feel like I missed something important that should’ve been marked on the calendar. A milestone that at least deserved a toast or at minimum a nod of recognition. I missed it and there’s no going back.
Everyone in this business talks about celebrating all victories, even the minor ones. I’m sad that I didn’t recognize this change in time to raise a glass to its passing.
Have there been milestones that you’ve let slip by? Did you take the time to celebrate later or simply forget? If you did celebrate, how did you mark the event?
Related posts:
You’re right, when did that happen?
At least there’s a name for it. Tweeners. Now I have to go see if my face is breaking out…
I think this happens to us all and in every profession.
I used to think the same thing when I became a teacher. Later on, after years of experience, I couldn’t stand the conventions because I didn’t get anything out of them. I guess experience is what differentiates newbies from those …er… not so newbie. 
Tweeners…I love it J! That’s it exactly. Going through the painful process of puberty. Worrying about all kinds of things we never even considered before. It’s scary in a way, but exciting.
Tempest is exactly right about this happening in all professions.
In my business adventures, I found mentorship key for this tween time (everyone thinks its when you’re a newbie but folks expect newbies to make junior jammer mistakes). Mentors will also hold hands (figuratively…though there are markets for the literal…LOL) so you don’t feel so all alone.
Life is a team sport. Difficult to be successful solo.
Also sounds like you’ve moved from course taking to networking (again a mentor helps with this). The first builds your skill set but the second builds your career.
At least it does in business.
From one Tweener to another (love that term), it was wonderful chatting with you at RT, Jordan. What made RT special for me this time around was speaking with fellow writers at similar stages in our careers. Sure, we can do this via emails and blogs but it’s not the same as one-on-one back-and-forth. As to celebrating milestones, I rarely stop to smell the roses. I really need to amend that. LOL
Goo-goo.
Charli, I think it snuck up on us all. *g*
I think I have to make a special effort to squeeze the most out of the conference. I’ve looked at the RWA session guide for this year and there are some very interesting workshops but I’m going to have to pick well. Three years ago when I started going to conferences I could have gone to any one of the workshops, last year there were a few I wish I would have skipped.
Tempest, I think you have a really good point. It does happen in most professions. You reach a point when you’re no longer the ‘new guy’. I just wish I would’ve recognized the crossover, since I still ‘feel’ clueless.
Vivi, Yep, you definitely out grow your old ‘clothes’. Probably why this time period feels so uncomfortable. *ggg*
I’m glad to see I wasn’t the only one feeling the same way! I guess I’m a tweener as well.:razz:
It was wonderful to see old friends and put faces to names, although I wish I’d had more time to talk to some people. There didn’t seem to be enough of that face-to-face time for some reason.
Caridad
Kimber, I think you’re right. I guess that’s what I’m missing at this point. I don’t really have a mentor. I have people that I look up to, but they don’t exactly fall into the ‘official’ mentor category.
Beth, It was great seeing you too. I hear you on having face time. Nothing beats it.
Stop and smell those roses, girl. 
Kimber An, LOL!
Sara, I think that’s fairly common. The trouble is you don’t realize the session isn’t beneficial until you get into the talk. I know I’ve had to take a long hard look at the sessions. Of course, I’m to the point where I just buy the whole CD and sort through it later.
Caridad, Beth Ciotta and I were saying the same thing on Sunday. We got to talk, but didn’t get to spend near enough time conversing. I’m not sure how to change that lack of face time. Come in a day earlier? Stay a day later? Make appointments to see everyone?
Jordan, I love that term. Tweeners. I am not even a tweener, don’t know what the hell I am, really, lol. I think you have to go with a game plan, no matter which conference you attend. You get out of it, what you put in, yanno? For me, I ALWAYS have a plan. Even if that plan is small, doesn’t matter. When I do this, I avoid disappointment.
For me, the conference was cool as icy lemonaid, no two ways about it. But, I had a plan. I knew what I wanted to accomplish, and although I partied and had fun, I had a bigger goal. I was blessed in that I accomplished that goal. Party with a purpose, that’s my motto, mami.
I tend to have fun, am pretty social, but honestly, I usually prefer being by myself (yeah yeah, I know, Jordan…that’s hard to believe after uh…some of the jokes I cracked
) So, this was an added bonus for me, to meet new friends.
I enjoyed the conference, met with a wonderful editor I’m excited about working with, (who also just bought my brief, for Harlequin) got to swing my locs and dance with a couple of HOT cover models at the parties, meet new friends, such as you, and a HOST of others, including my sista for life, Vivi Ana.
Not too bad, and definitely worth the trip, to me
Maybe making appointments would help, which is what I do when I go to a legal conference. I’ll have to think about it for next time.
Kimberly, I normally have a plan too, when I attend a conference. For some reason, *cough* Edits *cough*, I didn’t manage to organize one this year. I did get something out of one chat. Quite a lot of good information and a few helpful business cards. Other than that, nothing. I will have a game plan when I attend RWA next year. No doubt about it. I’m actually not surprised that you prefer to be alone. I can see past all that.
Caridad, I actually think I’m going to try that and see if it works.
I’ve had that feeling also. I ended up joining NINC (www.ninc.com) because its focus is on novelists who are looking for something that deals more with the mid and advanced career issues. I’ve been able to get good advice there, and the focus has definitely been more on the things that I need to know.
Di
Random togetherness is always pushed at these cons and it’s good for beginners. But it’s far better to have a plan, both a professional plan and a social one. The professional plan would be to go to the con with specific goals and (if possible) appointments and (also if possible) seminars decided in advance. The social plan would be prearranged meals or meetings with friends. Both plans still leave you with free space for serendipity. Even that mythical mentor.
As to content at a con, if you don’t find it meaty enough, you need to create a seminar topic that will remedy that. Then everybody who feels the same will be in the same room with you at the next con.
Di, I agree, which is why I joined them last year. NINC has had a lot of helpful conversations on their loop. I will probably head to their conference next year in N.Y.
Poison Ivy, I had social plans set up and a couple of talks picked out. There were only two/three that I found of interest. I didn’t need to set up appointments , which was probably a good thing since from what I gathered those weren’t organized ahead of time. As for giving a talk, I have done that before, but I’d rather go to learn.