by Kimber An
This column is question, as well as statement. I’ve read lots of articles in which authors explain they’ve been motivated by editors and agents, and sales, to include more explicit love scenes. That’s all fine and good. I also understand writing a good romance means fantasy. Hey, after a decade of wedded bliss with four resulting pregnancies, I’d rather go with fantasy than be hit with a requisite condom application sentence in a romance novel. That’s waaaay too much reality for me, Bub.
Nevertheless, even a fantasy done over and over in the same exact way gets boring. I’m not talking about gymnastics here. I’m talking old-fashioned plot and character development.
This is where the ‘Sex By the Numbers’ title comes in. The author feels the pressure of sales’ numbers to write a sex scene. She’s uncomfortable with that. It’s not her style and it doesn’t flow well with the story. Wanting to sell her novel, she labors away at it anyway. The result is a standard issue sex scene.
The Standard Issue Sex Scene. Regardless of time period and setting or the cultural climate and religious mores which go along with them, there is one or two explicit sex scenes. The progress of the relationship up to that point is also irrelevant. The hero is always highly skilled (regardless of experience) and selflessly concerned (even if he’s only one step up from a Neanderthal) with pleasing the heroine who is always fantastically pleased. No matter how skillfully written, I’m jarred right out of the story and I toss it over my shoulder.
Like me, most readers of romance novels are over 25 and experienced with romance. We’re trying to avoid the Standard Issue in real life. We don’t want it in our reading material.
We’ve all read beautifully developed stories in which the couple makes love. The difference between that and Sex By the Numbers is glaring. So, I wonder, how much pressure is there really? Are otherwise good stories sacrificed to the sex goddess for the sake of sales numbers? Seems to me that would backfire.
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In 2005 I attended a workshop in which writer/editor Kristine Kathryn Rusch worked with a half-dozen of us on various aspects of writing short stories, including a two-story module on erotica. She liked what I wrote and urged me to send both stories to markets. I told her that while I could write these stories for her, I could not have them published. She recommended using a pseudonym if I was concerned about reputation.
I’ll admit the idea appealed to me (I’m a writer, writers like to be published), but in the end I decided against it. Reputation wasn’t the issue; I, myself, do not want to publish erotic fiction. Nothing wrong with the genre, but it’s in the same category as green leafy vegetables — not something I’m interested in.
I discussed this at some length with Kris and another writer was there; a regular contributor to erotic anthologies. Their conclusion was that I’m basically a sweet guy, so I need to write sweet romances.
Kris warned me this may make marketing my work more difficult, but it could be done; she does it herself (with a twist) writing as Kristine Grayson. She knows my background is write for hire, in which I write to specific expectations. Her advice is that in my own writing I stick to my guns and write what works for me.
(A great punchline for this story would be the revelation that my sweet romances are top sellers. Reality is, however, that so far I haven’t sent any to markets, much less sold one. I’ll let you know how it goes when I do.)
by KeVin Killiany March 25th, 2007 at 7:51 am:shock:Wow, KeVin, what an experience! I admire that you know yourself so well!:smile:
by Kimber An March 25th, 2007 at 8:29 amIt amazes me that one has to put graphic sex scenes into a novel in order to sell it. I know a lot of women who read romance novels. And you know what? When it gets to the sex scene, they skim over it, turn the page and find the bit where the story starts up again. Bit like when you record a TV programme, and you fast forward over the adverts.
by Hilarymack March 25th, 2007 at 12:11 pmSo writers put all this effort into a scene they may not even be comfortable with, and the readers toss it aside? sounds like someone’s getting wires crossed somewhere.
:???:If it’s not just my imagination, I’m wondering if the numbers in question are for the Erotica out there. People see those hot numbers and think they have to bring more of that into the romances in order to get higher numbers. Or, are the romances with more explicit scenes really selling more? Where I see it backfiring is readers expecting one thing and getting another and getting tired of having to skip love scenes that don’t make sense in context. Remember, they’re paying hard-earned money for their books. Maybe they’ll stop buying new and dig through the stacks of older books at the huge used bookstores instead. If they do buy new, they’ll stick to the authors they know.
I’m not against graphic content or Erotica, though I prefer sensual or sweet. My issue here is the storytelling itself. Does the nookie flow naturally with the plot and character development? If it doesn’t, why did the author put it there?
by Kimber An March 25th, 2007 at 1:23 pmGreat column, Kimber An.
Recently, I was faced with the prospect of switching my strictly sci-fi WiP to a sci-fi/romance. Ultimately, I did switch because it seemed a natural progression of the characters.
by LadyBronco March 25th, 2007 at 2:39 pmWhat I did not do was exactly what Kimber An was talking about - formula sex by the numbers. I can’t stand reading scenes like that, and I surely did not want to include one in my own novel!
I’ll take well crafted sexual tension over gratuitous sex scenes anytime.
by Heather March 25th, 2007 at 2:56 pm:smile:Even though we sometimes complain about labels, maybe this is why Harlequin is so popular. You pretty much know what you’re getting based on the line.
:wink:But, remember, it’s not just about explicit descriptions of the Act. It’s about the storytelling. About a month ago I read two novels. Both had heroines in second-chance-at-love stories, which I love. I’m totally into Enduring Love at this point in my life. One was by a debut author and the other was by our own Kara Lennox. The difference was astonishing. Both heroines had been pregnant. The debut author’s heroine had large boobs which stood up by themselves without the use of a bra and not a stretch mark in sight.
And, yes, a Standard Issue Sex Scene. This was heartbreaking for me, because it was a historical and the world-building was just awesome! Such talent! I really wanted to love her novel, but I only made it half-way through before chucking it against the wall. In contrast, Kara Lennox’s hero commented lovingly to the heroine that motherhood had been kind to her body. The love scene was so well supported, developed, and balanced. Very well done. Very believable and real.:grin:
by Kimber An March 25th, 2007 at 3:31 pmI get tired of sex scenes that are there just to have sex in the book. There is a difference between making love and sex and I appreciate seeing that difference in the romance novels that I read. And I have stopped reading a couple of authors that I enjoyed because of it. Do the publishers really know what the readers want?
by TnIzzy March 25th, 2007 at 5:59 pmGreat post, Kimber An!
I think that the sex scenes should come from the characters and should be key moments in the story. I try to make them meaningful and build in the emotional growth etc. I’m not sure if I always pull it off but I try. If the sex scene doesn’t change the relationship in some way or move the plot along in some way, what is it there for… 
Gwyneth
by Gwyneth Bolton March 25th, 2007 at 8:38 pmThat one author I mentioned who failed big time in this area- I sincerely hope she gets another chance at publication. She truly does have talent as a historical romance author. This was the only issue that threw her off. I’ll be willing to risk another five bucks on her next one.:wink:
by Kimber An March 25th, 2007 at 9:39 pmI don’t think I’ve ever written sex by the numbers.
by Annie Dean March 25th, 2007 at 11:39 pm:mrgreen:It’s like painting by the numbers, only not messy.:roll:
by Kimber An March 26th, 2007 at 12:10 amThat Tab A, Slot B stuff
Kimber An calls them “Standard Issue Sex Scenes”, and she’s not impressed: The author feels the pressure of sales numbers to write a sex scene. She’s uncomfortable with that. It’s not her style and it doesn’t flow well with the…
by dustbury.com March 26th, 2007 at 9:12 amI agree.
I think that if the author can take out a sex scene and not mess up the story, then the scene (like any other) should be taken out.
And the scene should reflect character.
If the heroine talks constantly, odds are she’ll talk during sex (tmi but I know I do).
If the heroine is a get it done type of guy, odds are he’s not going for extended foreplay (going straight for the goods).
And if the guy really, really likes the heroine, the odds that he can last long (if even long enough to reach slot B) are low.
by Kimber Chin March 26th, 2007 at 12:49 pm
I love love scenes in which the fun of reality is reflected, like a young couple learning together and goofing up and laughing. Susan Grant did a fantastic job in the STAR KING with this. She had a fortysomething heroine who had given birth and, of course, her body showed the changes from that. And the hero loved those changes. It was beautifully done. A good love scene should bring us even more under the spell of the story itself. It shouldn’t jerk us out of it.:wink:
by Kimber An March 26th, 2007 at 1:02 pmKimber Chin, you reminded me of a scene in a young adult novel I read decades ago. The teen couple overcome several things and about two-thirds of the way through — just before the big event that’s the point of the novel (and, no, of course I can’t remember the title now, but they’re in a tent in the woods and are going to try something that may kill them the next day). The scene itself is vague — this is a YA from 20 years ago, after all — and ends wonderfully.
He: How was it?
by KeVin Killiany March 27th, 2007 at 7:28 amShe: Um. I think it’s supposed to get better with practice.
He: Yeah….
Then they spend the rest of the night cuddled together thinking about the future.
I agree that if the story doesn’t change at all with the removal of a sex scene, the sex scene doesn’t belong in it.
I would far rather see extraneous charity ball scenes in which the heroine gets all gussied up in fancy finery, and people admire her gown and her jewelry and her hairdo, than extraneous sex scenes. Because the charity ball scenes at least feature different gowns. But the sex scenes, well…it’s a penis. It’s a vagina. There are nipples. Yawn.
by Poison Ivy March 27th, 2007 at 10:32 amKeVin, that’s what I’m talking about!:lol:
Poisen, yawn indeed. On both counts, actually.
by Kimber An March 27th, 2007 at 11:19 amI have to say that I’ve begun to skip over sex scenes in romances–I just don’t care enough about the h/h to want to read about them getting it on within the first third of the book or so.
I crave the build up, the tension between the h/h when they want to get together but don’t, can’t and/or won’t, and then they finally do. But I notice this is occurring less and less in romances and more in novels with romantic elements(my favorite urban fantasy series’, mysteries, YA fiction).
As an unpublished author, I’ve seen first hand that the best way to get an initial look from an agent/editor is to have a Hot Hook–that “Hot” being literal–whether you’re writing erotic romance or not(with the exception of inspy’s and sweet romances, of course). Not to say sexy hooks are sold over non-sexy hooks, but the importance of hot sex has become more apparent over the years.
by Camilla March 27th, 2007 at 5:21 pm:???:There are authors out there who do write well-balanced, well-developed love stories. We need to keep them in business by buying their books. I’m working on an idea to help with that.:wink:
by Kimber An March 27th, 2007 at 7:25 pm“The Standard Issue Sex Scene” is the perfect name for it. I love a sensual sex scene, but not scenes I’ve read a couple hundred times already. And the ones who do it four times a night are actually irritating. After the second time, I’d like to see a heroine tell him to go into the bathroom and take care of it himself.
by Edie Ramer March 28th, 2007 at 4:23 pm:grin:For anyone who’s interested, all of your feedback inspired me to create a website to list authors who consistantly write novels with love scenes which flow naturally with the course of the story, whether sweet (no sex,) sensual, or highly sensual. I think the bottom line here is we all hate to spend hard-earned money thinking we’re getting one thing, only to be stuck with something else entirely. This will help us find the books we’re looking for while promoting the authors who write them.:wink:
kimberan7.tripod.com/enduringromance
by Kimber An March 28th, 2007 at 5:47 pmI was just complaining along these lines on another blog — I’m astonished to find so many like-minded people here!
The love scenes in the books I was griping about weren’t explicit — they just didn’t ADD anything, and left me really scratching my head as to why they were there. Do readers just expect it by now — or do publishers only think that they do?
I’m not against sex in a book, but it shouldn’t be obligatory. I’d be very interested in being included on your new site.
by Sierra Donovan April 6th, 2007 at 3:26 pm