Please note: All reader names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent.
“I love, love, love Margaret Moore,” my buddy, Miss Measuring Tape, gushed, “I’d buy anything she wrote, even her grocery list scribbled on a used piece of snot paper.”
“Oh, really,” what the heck, it was a slow day, I’d call her bluff, “if that’s the case then why are all your books the exact same height?”
Uh…uh…uh…Yeah, busted, girly. Didn’t think I’d notice your neat and tidy bookshelves, did ya?
You see we readers might talk a good game, about loving our authors no matter what their books look like, about it being “all about the writing”, but secretly, we have our…well…freaky deaky formatting fetishes.
I should know. For me, its font size. Sure, I have an excuse. I read mostly in moving vehicles and no, not while driving. In buses, taxis, planes, trains, while other people are doing the driving, flying, engineering, whatever. Anywho, you try reading some of the microscopic fonts out there while riding the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Not fun.
Just last week, I had the choice between reading my brand new, never been read copy of the (alleged) funny Ten Ways To Melt A Man’s Heart by Phyllis Campbell or rereading Teresa Roblin’s (confirmed) funny Hocus Pocus. Call me shallow but I picked the latter, my choice based completely on font size.
My male friend, Hard Body, first narrows his book selection down to anything published in hard cover. Why? Because Hard Body feels that if the publisher really thought it was a good book, they would charge a few more dollars and print it in hard cover.
Speaking of publishers, another friend, Agent X, refuses to buy books with those double covers that romance novels so often come with (and I personally like). This suspicious gal feels that using a double cover is equivalent to the publisher trying to pull a fast one. Why does the inside cover have to be hidden? What else is the publisher trying to hide? Was there a second shooter? Is Elvis still alive? Conspiracies are everywhere.
On a lighter note, Mathphobe won’t buy any books without chapter titles (no numbers for him). If the author thought the chapter was important, Mathphobe argues, she’d take the extra minute and give it a title.
Then there’s The Book Peeker. The Book Peeker is so paranoid about breaking the spine that she opens the book just wide enough to see all the words. Obviously she prefers wide inside margins. Oh, and not reading anywhere near me ‘cause watching her drives me downright batty.
Now, some of you are reading this and thinking that we’re a bunch of weirdos. Well, maybe so (I know that I certainly fit that description) but before you judge, look over your own bookshelves. Is there a trend? Are most of your covers blue? Got a metallic font? Roughly the same number of pages? If you answered even one maybe, then I have your weirdo membership card ready and waiting.
And I want to hear about it, every glorious nutbar detail. Comment under a pen name, I don’t care (pen name Kimber Chin is taken). Stand up and say “I’m a formatting freak and I won’t be ashamed any longer.”
No related posts.
“even though I’m a GROWNUP now”
Seanachi,
Hang onto those starving student habits, invest the difference…oops, wrong blog.
But seriously, I heard tell that being a grown up ain’t its all cracked up to be (if there’s a grown up in the house, please confirm).
I plan to be as juvenile as possible as long as possible.
Maya, don’t you be worrying about Mathphobe.
The man buys 3 books a year
and none of them romance.
Clearly he’s insane.
Reading the comments here,
we know that
its not possible to please everyone
(anyone who has ever tried to order lunch
for an office of 30 knows this).
Miss Measuring Tape is my kinda gal!
But I don’t write my grocery lists on used snot paper. I use old versions of my manuscripts. I cut the pages in half and voila — scrap paper aplenty. Except the love scenes. I have a horror of dropping one in the store and having somebody pick it up to read…well, you can guess. Oh, and I like to use colored markets for my lists, just ’cause they’re pretty. And for you writers out there, I’m such a reviser, I even revise my grocery lists. Hence the need for much scrap paper.
Now about books: I personally prefer hardcover, if I can get ‘em. I was deliriously delighted to find a hardcover copy of THE WOLF AND THE DOVE just last month. And only a buck! I nearly swooned.
I also love the smell of library books, and the crinkle of that plastic protection wrap they put on.
About texture: I received a copy of my book LORD OF DUNKEATHE from Korea. It was trade size and had the most lovely textured cover. I kept stroking it. I may also have been whispering, “My precious.”
When it comes to my book shelves, it depends where they are. In the living room, they are relatively neat. In the rec room, they aren’t bad. In my office? Oh, dear. I did once get all efficient and shelve the reference books by time period, but that’s as far as I got. I try to keep the thicker ones on the ends, to prevent the shelves from dipping in the middle. Otherwise, it’s good luck and here’s hoping a book doesn’t fall off and hit me in the head.
“Part of it is that it feels like the publisher is trying to trick out a short book to make it look meatier and more substantial than it is”
Susan, I find it interesting to hear from the more words for the same money value gang. So does that mean that you feel a longer book is a better book? Or does it have to do with reading time (more hours of reading pleasure)?
I don’t think that I have a specific book fetish. But I do have preferences. I like good characters who are not friendless orphans on the insides.
Look: I never knew shiny metallic bits on covers would put people off! I’m 1/3 magpie, so I love them, especially if they’re embossed. I prefer the double-cover romances so that while there is an option for the hot guy on the cover, I don’t have to show him off to the rest of the world, plus there’s extra cover heft. I was also choosing books by new authors for a while based on the spine font. I was into the tribal looking fonts (Barbara Kingsolver’s The Bean Trees was picked that way).
On size: Hate the extra tall mass markets. Will never buy one (sorry V.Flynn). They should have just changed margins and/or spacing in the normal mass market PBs. I like the ease with which the TBs flop open, but PBs are my preference for easy of holding, toting, and storing. I buy media shelves to hold paperbacks one deep. I hate hardcovers but still buy them to support authors or get the from the library if I’m being frugal.
On the money for value idea: I think I just want to know what length book I’m buying based on dimension. If I open up a book that is 60% white space, I feel cheated, even if the story is fantastic, because that book should have consumed less shelf space. If the font is too small, the text becomes daunting, so I’m torn between feeling like I got extra for my dollar and fearful of the committment it’ll take.
Well, no one has mentioned smell yet.
Stinky library books are hard to bear. It has to be really, really good for me to put up with it. My library has the Oldest Copies of Georgette Heyer’s Books in the Known Universe. I’ll put up with it for Heyer.
But if a book smells good, I’m in heaven. I’m known to lift it up and sniff every few pages. It is freaking WEIRD.
I draw the line at buying books based on smell alone. But now you mention it…
I hate pages turned over at the corners and there is a weird person who corrects the grammer and the spelling in our library books.But I love chapters in books numbered or titled.I am a book lover I admit it,I don’t care if they are hardback or paperback.I also love the smell of new books.I think I need therapy.
I will buy books of any size or shape. Yet, I will never crack a spine. I have been known to purchase new copies of abused books! I once loaned a books to my mother and the dog ate it. (really!) She purchased a new one and had it shipped directly to me. My OCD moments come by way of stickers. Price stickers, extra UPC codes, 30% off. They must all come off before I can read the book. I can’t stand feeling the different textures while I am reading!
“The only good thing about that is I’m often surprised when I find one I haven’t read in a while and it’s like a whole new book.”
Pat, I do the same thing with my closet. Shove a suit in whereever. And sometimes when I pull out one I haven’t seen in a while, its like getting a whole new outfit.
“Yes I’m a font freak and can tell the difference between Times and Times New Roman.”
Dang, Roslyn, you’re good!
“I will write on books, break their spines, leave them where the dogs can drag them outside, use all manner of highlighters and pens as bookmarks, spill food and wine on them, etc.”
Robin, are you one of those library book correctors Maureen was talking about?
I’ve borrowed books more marked up than my 4th year tax guide. Spelling corrected. Holes in plots pointed out. One book even had the time to get from Dover to London by horseback estimated (far more than the instant transportation the writer had thought). For some of the novels, I found the margin notes more interesting than the story.
“I’m 1/3 magpie, so I love them, especially if they’re embossed.” 2/3’s otter? Is that why you’re not 100% happy? The whole cross-species thing?
I like my shiny objects too.
“But if a book smells good, I’m in heaven. I’m known to lift it up and sniff every few pages. It is freaking WEIRD.”
Yep, it is, Abby. But is it any weirder than loving the smell of a brand new car? So much so that we hang air fresheners that smell like new cars in our old french fry smelling cars?
New book smell.
“Price stickers, extra UPC codes, 30% off. They must all come off before I can read the book.”
Moonlissa, stickers on books drive me a bit crazy too. What I don’t like is when it covers up some of the back copy or even crazier the price. So its 30% off some price. Goodness knows what price.
I admit I am another one who believes it is okay to dog-ear pages and read books in the tub. My favorite books are easy to pick out as they look the worst. I was, however, forced to buy a new copy of one as two of the pages came loose and it was way too hard to read the book in bed or in the tub with loose pages.
Despite my own destructive tendencies, I get very annoyed if I borrow a book from the library and someone has written in it. Ditto for borrowing books that have a funky smell. It has to be a really good book or I’ll take it back and find another that smells better.
I often read on the bus or in the break-room at work and I actually organize my to-be-read pile into books with covers and titles I’m willing to be seen in public with and books that I think are better read at home. It’s not so much that I’m embarrassed to be seen reading them, it’s more that I get sick of having to defend my reading choices when I’m seen with a book with a half-naked couple on it and a title like “The Lustful Rogue”.
I too refuse to crack a spine or dog-ear a page, and refuse to share books with those who will. I love that my 10-year-old and three-times-read books still feel brand-spanking-new!
However – ahem!
– I am one of those library-book spelling correctors.
I will say I refuse to buy the “extra-special” sized MMP. And while I wouldn’t say I won’t buy bodice-ripper covers, or those with fanciful (and unreadable) fonts, I will admit that I seldom pick them up. So they’ve got to “work” to get my attention in some other way.
Finally, regarding fonts? I remember learning in college that serif fonts are easier to read in print, san serif easier to read on screen. I buy almost all my new books (as opposed to all my used books) electronically, generally in eReader or HTML format. That allows me to change the font to SAN serif (my favorite for reading on screen) and turning off the justification.
I guess that makes me a format-junkie after all. In my eBooks, I absolutely refuse to buy Adobe or Microsoft Reader formats!
Robin, are you one of those library book correctors Maureen was talking about?
Nope, not me! I’m a good girl, I am.
For some reason, I’m almost rabidly protective of my library books. But the books I own — totally different story. EXCEPT for the fact that I won’t sell or trade any of my books. I will pass some on to specific individuals, but I won’t just give them away to the library or the UBS or whatever, even the ones I hated. On an abstract level, and for all the ways I abuse my own books, I have a weird reverence for them and prefer storage to clearing out old books totally. After all, you never know when you’re going to want that copy of Billy Budd or Beowulf. And someday those JR Ward books might be worth something, right? Not that I’d sell them, but still . . . Okay, I might be able to sell those JR Ward books, especially if they someday become as rare as Bliss or Dance or the old Balogh trads.
For what is potentially the first time in my life, I feel normal. I honestly don’t care! All I’m looking for is a story that appeals . . . oh, and that I like the heroine. Obviously.
lol
V xx
“I was, however, forced to buy a new copy of one as two of the pages came loose and it was way too hard to read the book in bed or in the tub with loose pages.”
Mary, right now I’m debating buying another copy of The Naked Marquis because the pages are so well loved, they’re falling out.
I think I’m going to haunt the history hoydens blog and try to win the set (especially as The Naked Duke is still in flight over the U.S. somewhere).
“But I don’t write my grocery lists on used snot paper. I use old versions of my manuscripts. I cut the pages in half and voila — scrap paper aplenty.”
Okay, Miss Measuring Tape would buy your grocery list for sure now, Margaret (remind me to only say nice things about authors as they tend to read these posts). Especially with the colors. Use your love scenes and there would be a bidding war for them.
And how did you jump the queue? ‘Cause I swear your comment wasn’t there yesterday. Is this some sort of perk best selling authors have?
If that’s the case, I have to campaign a little harder for blogger rights.
“However – ahem! – I am one of those library-book spelling correctors.”
Miki, thank you, thank you, thank you, for that confession. I knew there are a few library-book correctors out there reading.
I actually enjoy the corrections because its like a case study on what drives readers bonkers. I’m always suggesting that authors take out these books to gain insights.
“For what is potentially the first time in my life, I feel normal.”
Vikki, isn’t one of the sure signs of insanity the belief that we are “normal”?
Its like thinking we’re average. The average person doesn’t exist. For example, the average number of kids per American woman was 2.09 in 2006. I don’t know a single woman with 0.09 of a kid. What is that? An arm? Ugh, (shivering) I just had a Stephen King moment.
In general, I don’t care as long as it’s readable, although I have a preference for paperback because they’re cheaper and take up less room. I’ve just hit the age where I occasionally need to reach for the reading glasses, so I’m starting to pay more attention to the size of the print.
The one thing that does drive me up the wall (although it wouldn’t stop me buying a book) is when it’s a series that has had the same cover art style all the way through, and then the publisher decides to tart up the range and switches to a completely different style. It spoils the nice neat look of the collection, and I invariably prefer the original style. The only exception has been the Discworld British editions, where the change was forced by the untimely death of the artist. The new cover artist has a very different style, but it’s still one that’s sypathetic to the old ones.
However, I will confess to having an entire bookcase full of Folio Society books, the product of 15 years of membership. Because they are so *pretty*.
Ebooks are popular not just with people who like the ability to change the font size, but with people who have to buy print books by international mail order. Faced with a choice between paying hefty postage, waiting weeks and maybe having it stolen in the post, and having instant gratification for the same money as the cover price of a MMP, a lot of ex-pats are opting for the ebooks where they have a choice.
Jules,
Materials scientist by day? How cool is that!!
I had never heard of the Folio Society before so I Google’d them. Wow, just wow. I usually donate my books but if they looked like that…
Kimber,
The Folio Society is a book club for people who like the books as objects in their own right, not just for the words inside (although they take care to pick good books as well). They are not cheap, but if you’re a bibliophile the books are worth it — and there are always special offers for members. In fact there’s a thriving discussion going on in the Folio Society group at LibraryThing as to how to extract the best “please rejoin!” special offer out of them. :->
Hee. I should probably take a photo of my Folio Society bookcase and put it on my website or LiveJournal.
Here’s the link to their website, if anyone else wants to look at the books. I will note that if anyone is smitten by book lust, the best strategy for joining is to pick the four cheapest books you would like, and buy the others later — there are often better prices to be had once you’re a member. And there’s usually loads of them cheap on eBay (I note that Rebecca is up for grabs today).
http://www.foliosoc.co.uk/default.php
Oh damn, I’ve just seen a book I wanted for research purposes in the eBay listings. Do I really want it in a FS edition rather than checking the local second-hand shop?
Hmm… There’s absolutely no order to how I put my books in my house’s book room. If there’s an empty space, there I put a book.
Kimber,
I like to pretend I have no quirks when it comes to books, but as an old ex-hockey player everything comes down to superstition, or what I like to call plain old pattern. All my non-fiction are hardback, all my fiction trade. I finish three books a month, the non-fiction gets started at the beginning and finished at the end of the month. Somewhere in the first week I open a short trade paper fiction and read it over two days. A week later I open a classic novel, I’m reading George Elliot right now, and that gets carried around for the next twenty days. Non-fiction gets read at my writing table with a highlighter in one hand, fiction gets read on the subway, in movie theaters, laundry rooms, wherever I have a moment. I’ll read any classic novel, but for modern I read mostly only female authors, Amelie Nothomb, Marguerite Duras, Ann Brashares, Kelly Armstrong, Emma Donoghue, Kristen den Hartog, give me a good story, a quick read, a little quirkiness, and a strong female lead and I’m a happy guy.
I’m jumping late into this, but I really liked this entry. Thanks for the chuckle.
I’m a dogearing, food-eating, spine-breaking, bad, bad girl. he-he. I can’t stand people who are so anal about their books that you can’t even tell the books been read before. My books are well-loved and I’m perfectly content with that.
What bugs me is letting someone borrow a book and either not getting it back or having some sort of mysterious gooey substance gluing the pages together. Had to stop letting a friend read my books because that’s what happened with each & every book. Drove me mad!
…Days later she answers the question at the start of the comment section…
I´m in Berlin, which I seriously think is one of the best places to live in the world. If only there were more (and cheaper!) English books around!
“I’m a dogearing, food-eating, spine-breaking, bad, bad girl.”
Kaitlin, awesome, another bad girl and proud of it! Reading and food (especially chocolate) just seem to go together, don’t they?
“I´m in Berlin, which I seriously think is one of the best places to live in the world.”
I’ve only spent a day in Berlin but I loved it and will be back someday. Ironically the Brandenburg Gate was under construction then (like the first time I was in Paris, the Louvre was closed for repairs – name a historic place or monument and odds are, I’ve seen it under construction).
“There’s absolutely no order to how I put my books in my house’s book room.”
Tempest, that’s why I get the library to store my books for me. Saves energy!
“All my non-fiction are hardback, all my fiction trade.”
Hey, its Dave from http://www.gimmethatremote.com/ . Glad you made it out of the movie cave.
Okay, you get a whole new category, splitting your books between hard and soft cover.