It’s that time of year again; conference season. The Romantic Times Booklovers Convention, Romance Writers of America’s National Conference, and Book Expo America to name a few.
I sort of assumed, back before I sold my first book, that when I became a “proâ€, I would naturally attend these cons. But life has a way of taking unexpected twists, and by the time I sold my first novel I had a one year old and I was pregnant. OK, Romantic Times and RWA National were out for that year. The next year, the baby was still too small to be left. Love and Rockets received the Romantic Times Reviewer’s Choice Award and I desperately wanted to be there to stand on that stage. But it just wasn’t possible.
This year, I’m nominated for an RT award again, and once again listening to everybody else making plans and preparations to go while the realities of my life stage dictate that staying home is the only sane choice. I hear all about the shopping, the parties, the promotion. The reader get-togethers. The publisher get-togethers. Networking and workshops and book signings.
Part of me feels like a teenager who is staying home from the senior prom. Another part of me looks at the series of events and asks, how important is it, really?
I’m serious. As much as I want to thank the staff of Romantic Times personally for what they’ve done for my career, as much as I want to meet the authors, editors and publishers I’ve been working for and with since 2004, as much as I’d like to meet the readers who have given me so much encouragement, as much as I’d like to experience the hoopla of being an official author at a public appearance, (and okay, I admit it, I want to get my picture taken with the Ellora’s Cavemen) how much of that really has anything to do with being a writing pro? Can you stay home and still be considered a dedicated professional?
Does conference season enrich your year, professionally and personally? Or do you sometimes wish you had a good excuse to stay home and write?
Who else is staying home this year, for one reason or another? Are you planning anything in particular to make good use of the time while everybody else is away?
For those who regularly attend the big national conventions, what do you enjoy most? Why do you like to go? If you went for the first time last year, do you plan to do it again or was once enough?
For readers and writing pros alike, what does convention season mean to you?
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Charlene, I’ve gone to one major conference/year since 2001. I consider them a vacation from family obligations as well as a chance to meet with other writers and readers. They’ve never been a networking opp for me, although others use them that way.
There was one year in there I had to stay home and it was awful *gg*. Once you get used to them, there’s no going back. So maybe you’re better off not starting
But if you do decide just the chance to hang with other writers is worth the time/expense alone.
I can fit one small conference a year into my schedule and my budget right now. I do feel I’m missing out, but my motto is, All in good time. Each year brings new opportunities, so my day will come when I’ll be rubbing elbows with my friends at RWA Nationals and dancing at the Fairy Ball at RT…but right now, my coach is a still a pumpkin.
I’ve never been to Nationals, but I did go to the New England Chapter’s conference a couple of times. They put on a wonderful, enjoyable conference, and I highly recommend it.
But the bottom line for me, personally, is that I’m painfully shy and large gatherings of very social people are torture for me. Being socially awkward, conference networking would probably work against me more than for me. I’m also a SAHM and that’s a whole lot of money to ask my husband to pony up. (RT and RWA Nationals—the NEC Conference was very reasonably priced.)
So conference time for me means knowing I’m making the right decision for me by not going, but still feeling left out when everybody’s gearing up to go and then when they’re gone. But I savor the anticipation of hearing the gossip when everybody returns and soaking up the pictures. Then I memorize the conference CD-ROM.
I go to GenCon because it really is a must for those intending to network within the game-writing/media tie-in industry. And because FanPro foots the bill. (Though I’m taking Valerie and our three kids this year on my dime.)
I really want to go to the RWA national, but i’m not established enough not savvy enough about the industry to know how to make the convention an investment in my future in terms of networking and opportunities. So this year I’m staying home. Next year….
[...] I’m over at RTB today talking about Pros and Cons (conventions). [...]
Ann, I know it’ll only take once and I’ll be either traumatized or hooked for life!
I would think Nat’l is more about workshops and networking and RT is more about celebrating romance. If I had to pick one and only one, it’d be RT. 
Bernadette, that’s an excellent outlook.
Shan, I’ve done the Greater Seattle Area conference and it’s terrific. Smaller conferences can be awesome, and much easier to attend than a big national con.
KeVin, for some industries it’s terribly important to stay on top of the business. When we had a photo studio, we went to WPPI.
Kimber An, great point. I would love to go back to Hawaii, but getting up to cuddle a little baby who is now big enough to say, “HI!” is a very fair trade. And they’re this little for such a short time. It’s going to be over the next time I blink.
I’m an unpub who’s never been to a conference as well:cry:
Last year I wanted to go to the BEA’s but the cost of hotel alone down in DC was way out of my budget. For me its really about finances at this point, although I have a plan in place to start saving now so I can attend one of the big conferences next year.
I also have become painfully shy since I’ve gotten older, as a kid I was super outgoing but just thinking about all that possible networking, getting up enough balls to talk to an author, editor, whomever just freaks me. I’m sure its that old deeply rooted fear of rejection thing that I have going on. “Will anybody like me or will I fit in and feel like I belong” I always did worry too much about what others thought of me. It’s amazing how as an adult those insecurities can reappear.
For some reason I don’t have a problem with rejection letters, I guess because there is a certain amount of anonymity with that. But being snubbed too your face is more painful, for me anyway.
HWJ, BEA looks like the most amazing book market of all time. The cost of attending is significant, though.
I do think that most readers and writers tend to be on the introvert side of the scale and have a huge common bond in a love of books. You’d probably fit in better than you think!
When I was unpublished, writing around two babies and housework, my once a month writer’s meetings were “me” time. My once a year weekend away to the NJRWA conference was “me” time, too…a time for me to be an author. Not a mother, or a wife. Me, Megan. Writer. It was important for me to take that time, though it was hard sometimes, to place such importance on a “career” I didn’t yet have. My writing was my work, even though I wasn’t getting paid for it. I needed that contact with other writers, publishers, editors and agents. I needed to learn, but more importantly…interact. FEEL like a writer.
I vowed that when I became published and had a reason to attend RT, I would go. I couldn’t justify the expense and time away from my family before this year, but now with two releases from Harlequin Spice and more to come, I can justify it. It’s about touching readers and hanging with my peers, but it’s also about “me.” It’s important for my career and my work, not just to meet readers (and Cavemen, haha) but to have that time to recharge, rejuvenate, connect.
I could be a writer without ever leaving my house, but it’s life that gives me inspiration for my work. I don’t need to go to conferences to be able to write, but the contact and what I take away from mingling with other writers has always been invaluable.
M
Nationals in 2003, at NYC is a distant and wonderful dream… My badge, bat badge, Gonna-Beez badge, PRO badge and PRO member ribbon is tacked to the notice board beside me.
Did I have an incredible time? Absolutely. Did it build my confidence and skills? Definitely. Did it make me feel less isolated and more connected? Oh boy, did it.
Did I do any networking? Not really. A bunch of us breakfasted with The Great Leslie Wainger one morning, but I don’t think it futhered my career any.
The joy of it for me was intensely focused workshops, and getting to meet friends who were so, so dear to me, but who I’d never met in the flesh.
The next time I go to Nationals or to RT, I’ll have a book to promote, and I’ll be there for a different reason. When you’ve got to add a transatlantic flight to the bill before you’ve even paid for your hotel room, then you think long and hard about that cost benefit analysis!
I want to go again. But I’ll only go if I can a) afford it (and we’re not talking about credit card abuse, here!) and b) justify it.
Other than that… What Megan Said.
Anna, you just nailed one of my biggest reasons for wanting to go; meeting so many friends in person that I’ve only known online.
Megan, Me time sounds fabulous. But for now, it’s in short supply and it goes to writing. Gotta keep writing the books first, everything else comes after that.
I love going to RWA’s National Conference. Love it. A week of being surrounded by other people WHO GET IT. Who do what I do. Who are dedicated and working hard and down in the trenches with me. Love it.
I really enjoy the workshops. I enjoy sitting in the bar and catching up with “net-friendsâ€, or bumping into an author I love so I can have a fan-girl moment. I love the buzz I come home with. The charge.
Ok, I know I sound like a ridiculous rah-rah girl, but I really do enjoy it. I’d be so bummed if I had to miss it. And this year I’m especially excited because I’ll get to actually SIGN BOOKS at the Literacy Signing. I know it’s silly, but I find the idea thrilling (though I’m sure in reality it will be me sitting there feeling lonely while a long line fidgets and waits for Madeline Hunter, LOL!).
Hi Charli,
so far I experienced a smaller Romance conference here in Germany as well as the RT convention last year. The conferences here in Germany were interesting, but more fun was the RT. It was great to meet the authors and readers with whom I chatted for years. Also are the workshops very interesting there.
Kalen, congrats on your signing! Your book looks very fun.
And yes, there’s so much to be said for hanging out with people who understand what you do. If I didn’t have that online connection, I think I’d crack.
Danny, RT looks like soooo much fun. And the workshops have so much to offer. There’s always more to learn!
Haven’t been to a writing conference but I do go to a lot of business and investing events. I try to limit them to about four a year (the more exotic the location, the better imho). How I am able to do that is make a list of the people I want to meet with and then “force” them to attend. LOL Get all my meetings over with at once.
Email is good, phone is good, but nothing beats face time.
Hey Charli!
Count me among the stay at homes, mostly because it’s just too darned expensive and far away. I tend to think in terms of practicality. Thing is, if a time comes when I can afford to go to nationals or RT without having to trade off on other things (house remodels, vacation with hubby, bills, etc), then I’ll go, but at the moment, I just can’t bring myself to sacrifice those other things. I did want to make PASIC and NEC, since they are drivable, but it won’t happen this year for a variety of reasons, though both chapters are wonderful, and so I am very motivated to make their conferences next time around — NJRW as well.
I think I would like smaller conferences better. Frankly, I don’t like the crowds, and would rather meet with people personally when it chance comes. I can drive 5 hour and spend a good part of a whole morning/afternoon with my editors, one on one, and I will do the same with an agent, when I settle on one. I would love to meet people I know online (like you! LOL), but I’d rather travel to do so, and do it personally, outside the manic rush of the crowds.
So, all in all, I probably will go to some smaller conferences next year, and national when it’s more easily affordable, but until then, I don’t mind staying home. I don’t like flying, unless I am with dh, so that’s another factor — anything drivable stands a much higher chance of me showing up, LOL.
Sam
Hey Charli! I went to my first RWA Nationals last year and it was AMAZING. I loved every second of it. I went at just the right time in my career. I had two books out with Kensington and had just signed with Silhouette. So I got to do the booksigning, network a lot, and attend a couple of publisher parties. And people actually recognized my name. That freaked me out and I admit made me feel like I might have a good shot at making it in this crazy industry!
I’m going to RT this year, and I can’t wait. I’m going to try and alternate them every year until I can afford money and time wise to go to both every year.
I too find it me time like Megan. It’s all about me when I go. I’m not a mom, or a teacher, or someone who perfers to stay home and isolate themselves…I’m Vivi Anna, loud and proud to be an author!
Kimber, I know there’s a lot of value to meeting in person. Very smart to coordinate so that you get the most out of one event!
Sam, it is a really big expense between conference fees, hotel and travel and you do have to weigh that carefully. It’d be hard to give up a kitchen remodel or vacation! Driving distance would be a major attraction but I’m not holding my breath for that to happen where I live.
The smaller conferences really do fill a big need.
Vivi, that non-mom and “me” time is really valuable. Alternating every other year sounds like a smart strategy! Attending both is a big investment time-wise in addition to the money. Be loud and proud, you’ve earned it!
I’ve never been to one of the national conferences, but I’m going to RT this year. One of the main reasons is because I’ve sold to Cerridwen Press/Ellora’s Cave, and I haven’t met any of the staff of the company! My editor isn’t coming but some of the others are including the publisher. I’d like them to see my face and feel like they know me.
Hey, Charli. I’ve never been to a writer’s conference of any kind. Living outside the U.S.A, it’s been just too expensive for me to manage. I’m crossing my fingers that I might make it to Pittsburgh in 2008. I really want to attend just to meet all the people I work with and chat with online on a regular basis–and okay, I want to have my picture taken with the EC Cavemen too.
I can’t begin to imagine how hard it must have been for you to miss RT the past two years with your books winning and being nominated for RT awards.
It’s very hard to hear everyone else get so excited about going when you can’t go yourself. I’ve taken advantage of the time by throwing an online party on one of my publishers’ chat loops. It’s a fun time and those readers, and other writers, who can’t go to RT seem to appreciate it. This will be my third year doing it. But I really hope that in 2008 someone else will have to step in and fill the void.
Heather, I’m very much looking forward to meeting the EC staff one of these days. Meeting your publishers and editors is a huge reason to go.
NJ, I think we need to set a goal for 08 to be the year we meet up and get our pictures taken with the Cavemen.
Travelling from outside the US adds a whole level of complication. Good idea to do a staying home party for those of us not going.
Ahh, me time…makes me sound like I get a lot of it, right?
I look at it this way: I’m a stayhome mom and for the past 10 years my life has been poop, vomit, screaming, chaos, dust bunnies and chauffering. My once a month or once a year me-thing is necessary for my sanity!
M
I haven’t been able to justify my vacation time and money without husband–so we spend a week or two in Mexico together, and that is “us” time I can’t afford not to take.
A lot of talk of fun stuff and pictures with the Cavemen, etc. How boring am I? It’s simply not my style; I’d never do that. I’m not really a barfly. I’m not ready to “pitch” to anyone. That is one reason that might carry me to a conference. On the other hand, Pittsburgh is within driving distance, and I will do that one. Just, as you said, to meet the wonderful folks I’ve met in two dimensions.
I think so much depends on why you plan to attend a conference. Each conference has a different focus. RT is focused on the readers. RWA is focused on the romance writers and industry info. BEA is focused on the booksellers. I personally go to RT to hang with my writing friends. It’s much more laid back. I’ve also managed to network without really trying there. RWA is more a place to meet your editor or agent. Networking is more difficult because there are so many writers trying to meet the same people you’re targeting. BEA is good if you have a few releases or an upcoming release. I do think it does a writer good (mentally) to attend some kind of writing conference. Being around like-minded individuals for two to four days does wonders for recharging the batteries.
I’m not a party animal either, Ciar, but you have books you could sign.
And having to pick between a professional event like that or your vacation time would be a tough call. Picking your husband over Cavemen sounds like your priorities are in order!
Megan, I’ve had almost four years of diapers and chaos and trust me, “me” time is coming.
Jordan, for all the reasons you named I’d like to attend all three at least once. Although maybe not in the same year. All three might overload my capacity!
I’m with Megan…conferences are about ‘me’ time. I’m not anyone’s mom or anyone’s wife…I’m just Patrice Michelle, the author. At conferences I get to spend time with writers and readers talking about books ALL DAY LONG if I wish. Also, the opportunity to get to meet people I’ve only known ‘online’ is invaluable to me. I try to go to at least one conference a year. Sure the pace can sometimes be exhausting, but it’s “my” vacation. I’m entitled to “two weeks” a year just like anyone else–I just take one week for family and one for moi.
I’m still trying to decide if I’m going to RT this year. I’m not sure what I’d even do there!
Patrice, two weeks of vacation is a great goal!
Talking books all day long has to be one of the big attractions to a national conference.
Annie, it’s a big decision, to go or not. And there are many ways to go; mostly to observe, and then levels of participation. If you do go, I’m sure you’ll find plenty to do!
Can’t swing RT or RWA this year. Our daughter’s getting married in June. But next year I’m hoping to hit both RT – Pittsburgh is driving distance for me too
And I’ve always wanted to go to San Francisco, so I’m hoping I can afford that one too. Charli, I’ve also wondered if I can justify the expense when I really want to go to meet up with all the friends I’ve made, but, hey, it’s networking!
Natasha, a wedding trumps RT and RWA Nat’l!
And networking is a great justification, isn’t it? 
While I’d really love to go, I just can’t afford it. I’d also like to know if it’s a real opportunity for me to meet fans and/or contacts or just a great big party. If it’s the former, great, if the latter, well, I’m fine with friends and all. But I don’t drink and I really and I mean really don’t like parties.
I try and justify it as maybe another year, when I have more than two ebooks under my belt. When my writing is actually paying off. In other words, when I don’t have to choose between a bill and that conference. Otherwise, no.
Until then how bout we all stage our own stay at home pity party together huh? LOL.