You know those people we all love to hate? The people who think they’re too good for romance novels? The people who think that you shouldn’t waste your time on books like that. Yes, they make our blood boil, and for good reason. But are they really so different from you and me? I don’t think so. How do I know? *whisper* Because I used to be one.
Oh, I would never put someone down for what they chose to read. But in the back of my head, I’d judge. And I’m ashamed to say that I would feel just a little superior. Ugh, I was such a snob!
Then a friend–a very good, very smart friend–gave me a romance novel, telling me it was fantastic, I had to try it. I, of course, was skeptical, but felt obligated to at least pretend to be interested. And so began my journey through the three phases of acceptance:
1) The Recommendation. It went something like this:
Smart friend: Read it! It’s funny and smart and sexy. A universal love story! How can you dismiss it so completely out of hand?
Misguided me: But, it’s romance. Those books are all crap and badly written.
Friend: And that was an extraordinarily closed-minded and ignorant statement. Have you ever read one?
Me: Umm, no. But look at the cover!
Friend: Shut your trap and read it.
I inhaled the book. Surprised, I thought maybe it was a fluke. I headed to the bookstore and browsed the romance aisle. Hmmm, who are these authors who take up entire shelves? They must be good. Nora Roberts, Julie Garwood, Lisa Kleypas, Johanna Lindsey. I bought a couple . . . along with a Pulitzer-Prize winner or something—Heaven forbid the B&N guy think I’m less than brilliant. (And that prize-winning literature is probably still sitting on my bookshelf in mint condition.)
2) Guilty Pleasure. I’m addicted, but I haven’t quite got the confidence to pull it off in public. Prejudices are hard to kill. This led to surreptitious reading.
Coworker: Whatcha reading?
Me (blushing, as I hide the book): Oh, it’s nothing, nothing. Just a novel.
I began to sort out the authors who work for me. Those authors who take up whole shelves? Popular sure doesn’t necessarily mean I’m going to like them. I began discovering lesser-known, mid-list authors who are much more my speed. And all the many sub-genres! Is any other genre so diverse? And again, some work for me, some not so much.
3) Acceptance. The addiction is permanent. I have experienced enough romance novels to know that it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Let the world think what it will. I will read what I love. I proudly display my (hopefully tasteful) covers for everyone to see. (The man-tittie cover will probably always cause some embarrassment. But it gives us something to laugh about, right?) I’m fully conversant in the lingo: category, Trad, HEA, glom, paranormal. I have achieved fangirl status on a few authors. I have a to-be-read pile that grows at a scary speed.
And since I have achieved this enlightened stage, I can be the smart friend who opens the eyes of some other poor, misguided soul who is missing out on all the genre has to offer.
Surely I’m not the only romance reader who’s experienced this. Do the three stages sound familiar? Has anyone else had to be “de-snobbed?”
No related posts.
Jennie, you give me hope. I didn’t need to be converted, myself, because I started reading romance before I realized it was supposed to be badly written crap, but I have friends with whom I’ve had conversations very similar to the one in your first phase. So far I haven’t managed to make them try a romance, but I’m going to try harder.
Luckily for me I discovered romance as a 13 year old. My father disapproved but I didn’t care. Today there are still people who “disapprove” but I still don’t give a damn. I NEVER try to defend my choices. Why bother? There’s nobody on the planet whose opinions matter more to me than my own.:smile:
Congratulations, Jennie. You’re in for years of great reading!
I’ve always been a closet reader but lately I’ve been more open about my reading habits. I don’t know whether this has to do with less embarrassing covers (no burly men or busty women bursting out of their clothes) or that I no longer care what people think (either due to age or financial status or a combo). I even read a romance on the plane while seated in business class the other day.
I think we need to declare a new national holiday: Read A Romance In Public or Uncover Romance or something like that.
Or better yet Read A Romance OUT LOUD In Public.
Now that’s a holiday I could get behind.
You thought St.Pattie’s Day and the green beer was fun.
I had to be de-snobbed. I blame it all on the ridiculous amount of college that librarians have to endure. Sucks all the fun out of reading in general. I came around once I got my first “real” job and realized I had no frickin’ clue who “this Nora Roberts person” was. Can you imagine? Seriously, I was living under a rock. So I read reviews, tried a few books, and was immediately hooked.
I totally took the academic snob’s path to romance: Jane Austen to Georgette Heyer to Amanda Quick (and then glommed the whole historical romance sub-genre and eventually began to move slowly outward into all the other types of romance).
Like Rosario and Barbara I’ve been reading romance forever, but I did convert the biggest non-believer in my life–the darling hubby. Okay, he only reads romantic suspense, but that’s something.
I’m totally addicted to romance novels, and still a bit of a closet reader. Having worked at a large academic institution for so long, I was surrounded by book snobs. My tastes are still varied, but I find that it is hard for me to admit to people that I read romance more than anything else. Only those closest to me are trusted not to judge.
Boy, that sounds awful.
I do agree with Kimber that the less embarrassing covers make it easier to “come out of the closet” as it were. Thank heavens for the step-back!
I too had to be de-snobbed. For me, it was Meg Cabot and Jennifer Cruisie that snagged me. (Well, and Jane Austen and Georgette Heyer before that, as somebody above me in the thread notes.)
Of course, that doesn’t mean that I’m still not gonna snark the truly snark-worthy, but that holds true for any genre.
I’ve read romance since I was a teenager, but I went through that phase where I didn’t want anyone to know what I was reading. I work at an academic research institute and I use to be embarassed, but now I just don’t care. I read what I want to read and I enjoy it. I have a full bookshelf I keep here at work, it has suspense, romantic suspense, harlequin blaze, historicals and some embarassing covers and interesting titles, but I don’t care. If anyone wants to judge me that’s them. I’m loving romance and I’ll keep on loving it. Thankfully some of my co-workers recognized some of the books as ones they have read so I don’t feel so alone. It can get a little embarassing at lunch when your male boss comes up and you’re reading Sex and the Serial Killer though.
*raises hand* I was a romance snob as well. But my dive into the romance genre didn’t start with a rec. I actually stumbled into the genre on accident when I picked up “Ain’t She Sweet” by SEP off of the clearance rack thinking it was a main stream fiction book.
lol. And I still do the whole throw a non-romance book in with all the romances when buying books from B&N.
I have never been embarrassed I read romance. I grew up in a household that believed reading anything was better than reading nothing. And those covers? Hey, I still miss Fabio.
They were a little risque but oh, the handsome men and luscious ladies! My first love was historical romances so the costumes were rich and vivid colors and the covers were nice to look at. Now I read all the subgenres, my faves now are the dark and mysterious romantic suspense covers.
Oh, yeah. . ., but for me, it was what I’m writing. . .
I’ll proudly proclaim that I write mystery and suspense (I just sometimes forget to add the adjective in front of it. . .romantic mystery or romantic suspense):oops:
However, I’m taking a step in the right direction. I sent off my payment to join RWA today. I hope to one day proudly proclaim that I’m a romance author.
I’ve been reading romance since I was maybe…10. I’d steal my great-auntie’s HQN presents. Remember Violet Winspear and Anne Mather?
But I’ve definitely felt like I needed to conceal my reading habits because I didn’t want to have the, “Oh, you seem so smart, why are you reading THIS?” conversation.
I began my romance-reading history with Harlequin romances back in the 70s. I didn’t read the larger novels for a long time, though, because of the covers. I saw the Harlequins as quick, sweet, fluff, and the mass market romances as “taking themselves way too seriously”!
But as my favorite Harlequin authors moved to those longer books…well, I had to follow!
(Oh, and by the way – http://www.clothbookcovers.com has beautiful, well-made book covers to hide those still often embarrassing clinches!
“I hope to one day proudly proclaim that I’m a romance author.”
Hey, Pam – If you’ve written a romance, you’re already there.
I used some of my tax refund for RWA and just got a folder chock full o’ goodies yesterday. Now I need to get online and make it worth the fee… I’m thinking about Golden Heart this year.
Boyfriends/hubbies, even if you can’t get them to sit down and read a romance cover to cover, are at least easy to make tolerant of your reading choices. Just find a page that makes you hot and sweaty, stick it in his face, and say, “Let’s do that.” I once had a very memorable evening in a chair thanks to Johanna Lindsey, and subsequently spent a lot of time with someone reading over my shoulder…
I discovered romance around 1989 and the covers were much more embarassing than anything out there today. I was 19 and very shy and the idea that my father might know I am reading books with sex in them was too much so even though I read the books, I hid the covers on my lap.
Now, I have bookshelves wall to wall filled with romance books. This Christmas I got a statue of a girl reading from my parents so I’m thinking they accept who I am. Whether they accept what I read – I’m know better than to ask questions I don’t really want the answers to
CindyS
I’ve always been a romance reader so I never went through the snob stage. But I can relate to being a closet reader because I’m still one of those. Sad I know!
So – it looks like I’m the first to ask. What was the book that convinced you that romance was just the bees knees?