Baring the fact that it just seems weird to be quoting old Seinfeld episodes these days, I just recently put down a book I had been struggling trying to read and moved on. There was no reason why I should have struggled with it. I’m not really in a slump; the book was HAWT in capital letters. The hero and heroine were both appealing and the storyline was interesting. Nevertheless, as I tried valiantly to get through it I just couldn’t seem to make it. I don’t know if it was the genre I wasn’t feeling; too many other things going on or exactly what it was but I couldn’t finish it. I wanted to, I really did but I wasn’t enjoying it the way I should have. I ended up putting the reason down to the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ excuse.
I have a huge collection of books. And I am talking huge as in I’ve converted a downstairs bedroom into my own personal library that awes and amazes friends collection. And as I look around in awe myself, I see many of the books I’ve collected through the years fall into the same category. I started them, but for no apparent reason I just couldn’t get into them.
The quandary of course, is what to do with them. I can’t trade them in because it’s not as if I didn’t truly like something about them when I bought them. I’ve tried that. I would have them in a pile with a group of books I really didn’t enjoy, just waiting to trade them in at my local UBS, only to pull them out at the last minute. Since I know it’s not the book, it’s me; I can’t quite get rid of them. What if I want to try one again when I’m in a different mindset?
In my more rational moments, deep inside, past the addiction I and so many other readers share, I realize that the odds of this happening aren’t very high. I have books dating back ten years and more just sitting there waiting for that impulse to read it strike.
There are a couple of reasons why it’s so difficult to let these ones go. Since it’s not the book, it’s me, in my way of thinking I’m not really being fair to the author who worked so hard writing it. I hate to give up when it’s something, given a different mood, that might just end up a keeper. There’s no reason why I shouldn’t like them but I guess I’m too stubborn to throw in the towel.
Because….. twice, maybe three times I did go back and pick up an ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ book and discovered it really was me!! The most memorable was Naked in Death. I started that one a couple of times and couldn’t get into it. But then eventually I went back and tried it again and the rest as they say is history. A true keeper it was. Now I’m forever thinking that might happen again. And if I’ve traded it in, then I might have missed it or have to buy it all over again. And that’s silly to do though I have done it.
So as my library continually increases because I keep buying, I’m faced with a dilemma. I just don’t have room for all the books I want to keep. So do I reluctantly let those ‘Not you but me’ books go or do I keep them – just in case? Being part of a ‘people’ I’m sure I’m not the only one who has wrestled with this. And some day, I might even come up with an answer!
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I keep. I am always afraid that I will be giving away a book I might want to read at some point in the nebulous future.
Once, I tried to get give books away to make more place in my tiny appartement. You know what happened ? Over the next few weeks, I had bought them all back without even realizing it !
So you want my opinion as a reader-aholic ? KEEP THEM:!::grin:
Anne
I keep books and return to them as well — found, the same as you, that sometimes your mindset changes, and something becomes engrossing that previously wasn’t. There’s no harm in it, so why not?
On the other hand, I do hate keeping most books around after I’ve read them. I’m not a habitual re-reader (in fact, the only series I have re-read are the In Death and the Southern Vampire Series books). I do keep some that hit me in particular ways, but largely I don’t like the clutter after they’re read, so I’m very happy about ebooks, and hope there will be more and more releases that way, because it solves all the problems…
Sam
I’m tempted to answer the Seinfeld reference with the ancient poster that adorned so many college walls: If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it’s yours. If not, it never was.”
Oddly enough, I had the same moment as you with Naked in Death, or whichever was the first JD Robb book. I’ve been a huge Nora fan for years, but the first time I picked up the In Death book, I was strangely resistant and couldn’t get into it. I gave it away. A few years later, a friend mentioned reading it and how much she liked it so I borrowed her copy. The timing was right and I became a huge fan. Now I have every In Death book and buy the new ones when they’re released in hardcover.
If you let go of the books, perhaps the ones you’re meant to read will come back to you at the point in time when you’re ready for them.
“So do I reluctantly let those ‘Not you but me’ books go or do I keep them?”
One of my friends is a Feng Shui Consultant. The first time she said something about things always “talking at you†a light bulb went off for me! My house was full of things that were saying the wrong stuff (clothes that didn’t fit, books I didn’t like, shoes that were too worn, art I’d been given but never really liked, etc.). I cleared it all out and what a difference! So I say get rid of them! Make room for things you love (and that love you back).
I’m with Kalen–get rid of them! There are always going to be more books I theoretically might enjoy than I’ll ever have time to read, so if I try a book and can’t get into it after the first few chapters, it goes in my library donation bag. My life is cluttered enough, and my TBR pile gigantic enough, that I want to clear out anything I can.
Hmm, I like that comment, Kalen, I’m going to have to look my flat over!
Regarding books you can’t get into…I’m one of those pitiful people hypnotized by fantastic cover art. So if the book has it.. I keep it! Otherwise, I would probably give it away, as I’m not one to give second chances often.
My attention span is just way too short, lol.
My TBR pile is filled with “It’s not you it’s me” books. Books that looked good in the bookstore or someone insisted I had to try, but for some reason I couldn’t get into. I keep adding to the pile until it gets so large I need to purge it and start again.
Right now I have about 15 book on my TBR pile I know I’ll read, but that leaves another 175+/-. You’ve given me an idea, I think I’ll rename these books my INYIM pile. Maybe they’ll get read or maybe they’ll end up at the UBS.
I have a different type of TBR pile – I bought or was given them and never even started the books – half a closet plus two bookshelves full, dating up to 12 years old at this point. Ouch! And I felt the same way about Naked In Death. Finished it but found it forgettable when it was first out, then listened to it on audio maybe 3 years ago and LOVED it and now am well into the series. Maybe it was ahead of its time?
Be ruthless. I have a massive TBR, so all the “It’s not you, it’s me” books hit the sack for the UBS. Why? Because that book now has the “It’s not you, it’s me” stink on it. It would continute to sit in the TBR for ages because I’d see it and think, “Yeah but the first time I tried you….”
I only keep TBR books and keepers. Everything else goes out the door.
LOL-I am a pack rat of epic proportions. I could manage though I think to get rid of most other things, clothes, jewellry, dishes, paper stuff. But the one thing I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get rid of is my books. There’s been a few times I’ve traded books that fell into the “it’s not them it’s me” category and I’ve ended up buying them back again. And when you figure in the price of a book and then half again and only getting a quarter of the price in a trade in – well – it’s easier just to keep those “it’s not you, it’s me” books.
And I buy for covers too – and on the odd occasion even if the book is one I KNOW I won’t like after starting it, I’ll still keep it because of the cover.
I must be a weirdo…I don’t have a TBR pile. If I buy a book, it gets read ASAP. I read so fast that I can’t handle the idea of a book just sitting there. I used to be a packrat when it came to books. When I moved out I had 23 boxes jammed full of books. When I came back home, 8 boxes came with me. I’ve learned to keep the ones I love and donate the rest. I probably have close to 1000 books in my collection, but since I’m a chronic rereader that doesn’t bother me at all.
I have a milk crate full of these types of books at home. At the time I got them they sounded great, but the time never seemed quite right to read them. As you know, it takes a lot for me to give up on a book. So there they sit, waiting for my mood to change.
It never occurred to me that it might be me and not the book. If it hasn’t grabbed me in the first sixty pages or so, it’s in the bag waiting for my next trip to Pat’s Paperback Exchange.
Kevin (and not Mr. Killiany *g*) sometimes it’s a bit of a fine line between it being me or the book itself that’s at fault. But in those cases, I usually give the book the benefit of the doubt. There was another one I just recently read – A Reason to Live by Maureen McKade. I started it a couple of months ago with every intention of reading it. I only got a few pages in and it withered and died on my reading branch so I put it down and moved on. I couldn’t give up on it though since others had read and raved about it. I picked it up again the other day and started reading it again. It turned out to be one of the best books from 2006 that I’ve read. That’s why I can’t turn them in. What if – a couple of months or even years down the road -I pick it up and it turns out to be one of the best reads evah. I have another one – Tatianna and Alexander – that I’ve had for over a year now. I’ve started reading it a couple of times and haven’t been able to get into it. But after having read and been mesmerized by The Bronze Horseman – I don’t dare not keep it. Heart of the West and The Passions of Emma are another couple that I haven’t been able to get into but I know I will love – given the right mood.
My INYIM books were purged about 3 years ago now but I do tend to keep them for all the reason you mentioned. I only deal with them if I do and purge and be honest with myself. Heck, I’ve purged books that I never even cracked the cover on – if it was in the TBR pile for more than 5 years (some were from 12 years before that) they had to go.
I love Kalen’s Feng Shui advice. Problem is, most of the stuff I could live without belongs to hubby and *him* I can’t live without
Oh, I also know I will never get rid of Gabaldon or Harris or Dunnett until I give each of them a solid try. By this I mean read the first book. If I’m not hooked after that then I will probably purge them. Until then, they stay.
CindyS
I go through this and it seems it’s been worse lately. There was a time I seemed to finish every book that landed in my hot little hands no matter how bad, but now if I feel like I have to make myself gets back to it away it goes. I can’t tell you how many books I’ve taken to the library to put in the collection thinking I can always check them out later and then have major regrets the day we put them out! I frequently have this thought at least once a day at work: “Hey there’s one I brought in. Sure would like to read it, but I have too many at home. Oh, but what if someone else checks it out and never brings it back?” and so on. Yeah, I need intervention.
Great post, Kristie – one we can all relate to! Me, I’ve learned to be ruthless. I donate my INYIM books and all my non-keepers that my friends don’t want to my infamous awful library. I haven’t figured out quite what they do with them yet, because I’ve never seen any of the books I donate actually on the shelf either in the UBS or in the library proper, but I’m hopeful that my thrice a year trips will make someone else’s INYIM pile a bit more manageable
Kristie — One of the great things about being a regular at Pat’s Paperback Exchange is IF — and this has happened twice that I can now remember (Kiln People and Motherless Brooklyn) — I find myself thinking a lot about a novel I traded in after 60 pages and wondering how it turned out, I can always pick up a used copy at half the cover price. And — since my account is almost always on the plus side — I don’t have to actually hand Pat any cash to do it. On both the occasions cited the novels proved to be well worth the investment. My theory — made up right here as I type — is if a novel haunts you, it’s worth going back and finishing. (Mind you, I have to struggle to remember most of the novels I trade in. At least once a month I stand reading a back blurb and considering, only to open the front cover and see my mark and realize it’s one I traded in.)(That’s why I use a mark.)
KeVin: Now that’s funny – buying back your own books! And that’s a good theory you pulled out of the hat! It’s a better way to judge whether or not to keep it or trade it in – if it haunts you and you need to go back on the book journey. I like that.
Lori: I thought of donating some of the books I didn’t want anymore to a library once and asked about it. They were less than thrilled with me wanting to donate romance books and I thought – “Humph! See if I donate to you guys then if you don’t want my treasures!” – well they weren’t my ‘treasures’ since I was turning them in – but still – they lost a good supplier in me I tell you. Not a frequent one and not a big one as I tend to hang onto many books, but a supplier just the same
I cannot get rid of books, even the ones I dislike. Sometimes I come around to books that I couldn’t initially get through, and sometimes I just keep struggling, but not matter what, there’s a sacredness about books, per se, to me that keeps me from getting rid of them.
But I totally relate to your experience, Kristie, of returning to a book after a false start and finding yourself completely enthralled. And who ever knows when that moment will be. So I’m an unapologetic advocate of keeping books, but I’ll happily donate just about anything else to make more room for them!
[...] What? Usually this is about the time that said groupie gets killed and a police investigation starts up. One problem I have is that in erotic romances, I can’t suspend all my disbelief for the sake of the sex. So, I guess it’s a INYIM grade. (It’s Not You It’s Me – tm Kristie J). I got to a point in the book where Kelly seeks out Tommy’s contact details by jumping in a cab with the rock star. Here is where I gave up because I just could not imagine a rock star not being surrounded by paparazzi and fans such that someone could just hop into his cab. DNF. [...]