When I first discovered erotica, I had a hard time articulating why it appealed to me so much. I knew it wasn’t just the titillation factor – although that can’t be completely discounted.
So I mulled it over – for years (What can I say, I’m slow). “Exciting” sounded vague, as did “different.” Then came the proliferation of the genre. No longer just “erotica,” we now have erotic-romance hybrids featuring settings ranging from paranormal to contemporary to historicals. It was when the boat started taking on more water, that I finally figured it out.
Erotica speaks to me when it challenges me. When it challenges preconceived notions that we all have on what is sexy and what is sexually appealing. I’ve read countless erotica novels that feature sex acts/fetishes that made me think, “Oh honey, never ever” or “Wow, where’d she come up with that idea?” – but it never kept me from enjoying the story any less. And make no mistake – good erotica has a story.
However, what ultimately makes it appealing is the heroine. When I read my first mainstream erotica novel, it was like the proverbial light bulb going off over my head. You mean women in fiction novels can be assertive? They can be sexy? They can be dominant, submissive, anything under the sun? They’re “allowed” to explore their sexuality with whomever they please and they can still be a heroine? The sexually assertive female is not relegated to the role of villainess? She’s not the Other Woman? She doesn’t lose the guy to some sweet-as-pie virginal miss who needs to be rescued from her own stupidity all the time?
Listen closely and you can almost hear the heavenly choir belting out the Halleluiah Chorus.
That’s the appeal. Women in good erotica are strong women. They’re assertive (and by assertive I don’t necessarily mean dominant) women who know what they like, aren’t afraid to explore, and are open to new adventures. They’re literally grabbing the bull by the horns.
But is the romance industry paying attention? Looking at my recent reading among the new mainstream erotic-romance imprints that answer would be a big, fat no. Here’s a clue – the erotica heroine is “kick butt” but isn’t necessarily a weapons expert. These are female characters in charge of their own destinies. Even faced with dire circumstances, these are women not willing to roll over and die. They might be backed into a corner, but they make choices, explore options, and essentially carry the whole story. Give readers a woman in charge of her own destiny, a woman willing to take risks, and you give readers the key to a universe of empowered, sexually vibrant females.
And what could be more feminist than that?
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Yes! That’s exactly it. Empowered heroines.
I’m not so sure that choir’s coming at you from heaven–LOL.
I completely agree with this. I’ve read erotica for years and for some reason there’s a huge difference between good erotica and a good chunk of the erotic romances I’ve read in the last couple of years. A strong heroine has an undeniable inner strength and potential for personal growth, that has nothing to do with whether or not she can literally “kick-ass”. And if the heroines in the erotic romances I’ve read aren’t kicking some butt, they seem to be along for a sexual ride, falling in love without any explanation as to why except the sex is great. I hate being told the couple’s in love, I want to figure it out for myself.
Erotica and romance are different. Can erotica be romantic? Yes. Can romance be erotic? Yes. But somehow making a typical romance spicier isn’t the same.
I still find myself leaning toward erotica over erotic romance and this surprises me, because I love a HEA. I guess I haven’t yet found my erotic romance niche.
Absolutely! It’s about time women can be honest and open about their sexual needs and desires, and not be negatively labeled for it!
Kimber An, what makes you think the man won’t stick around? I’ve read some incredible erotic romances in which the romance, the love, and the long-term commitment are unmistakable. (For myself, much of the short erotica I’ve written has been about people already in a committed relationship–much hotter, I think!)
Great column!
Is it just me or was something wonky with RTB earlier today? Anyway…
Kimber An: Good erotica is about “allowing” women to explore their fantasies, safely. So in this fantasy world we don’t have to worry about pesky details like babies or diseases.
Also, like Dayle, what gives you the impression the man ain’t going to stick around? I can’t tell you how many romances I’ve read where I’m left thanking, “Oh yeah this marriage will work! Wonder if there were marriage counselors in Regency London?” Just because the traditional HEA is in place doesn’t make the story more believable IMHO. But certainly erotica isn’t for everybody, just as some types of romance novels aren’t for everyone.
I think most of my frustration stems from romance novels that vilify the woman with sexual experience. The woman who likes sex and isn’t the naive virgin has to be the villain or the Other Woman trying to tear the hero and heroine apart. It gets my feminist panties in the wad.
Tara: This column sort of sprung out of my frustration with the current glut of erotic-romance on the market. It just ain’t working for me, and many of the publishers (who shall remain nameless) who have launched erotic imprints just don’t have a clue (IMHO). It’s not everything and the kitchen sink sex. It’s not no-plot-all-sex. And please, don’t give me a traditional romance novel with all the overdone cliches and throw in some more sex and naughty words.
Good erotica (written for women at least) will tend to feature a HEA – just an unconventional one. Emma Holly’s Black Lace titles are a good example of this. They end “happily,” just not traditionally. It might not be something I would do
but it fits for the characters.
My only requirement these days? Leave the heroine in a better place than when the novel started.
RTB was down for awhile due to domain registration issues, but all is now well.
Here! Here! This is exactly why Iove (and read lots of) erotica and erotic romance! This is exactly why I write erotic romance! Thanks for this wonderful post!
Hello. Everything you said and then some. I actually have a blog post entitled Looking For Jessica Trent coming up in the next couple of weeks which discusses pretty much the same thing.
I thought with erotic romance authors would be more willing to try different things – more experienced heroines, different storylines. (it’s one of the things that attract me to Sylvia Day’s books only she hasn’t delivered yet for me). The problem is we see the same stereotypical heroines and heroes, only more graphic language and more sex scenes.
Joey Hill is about the only author I know that has a dominant heroine. I wonder if authors think that readers are afraid of their own sexuality and therefore the heroine must be presented in such a way. It’s not that the sexual awakening of a woman isn’t a good story, it’s that it seems like (with a few exceptions) it is the only story.
Kimber An wrote:
Right now, I won’t read anything with the label ‘erotica.’ How can you change that? By writing a darn good story, a story so multi-dimensional and so real that I don’t even notice the label.
“Good” erotica does do this IMHO, it’s just the good is getting a bit harder to find these days. With the surge in the market (and publishers publishing a lot more of it) readers find themselves wading through a lot of sub par books (again IMHO).
I think this is true for any sub genre. I stopped buying Regency-set historicals a long time ago because it got too “hard” to separate the good from the ones riddled with wallpaper cliches. I suspect this will happen with paranormal and erotica books as well. Sooner or later the market does get saturated and many readers start to “give up.”
I happen to find it particularly sad with erotica though, because when it is done right I find it challenging, rewarding and it’s one of the few places I can find sexually-aware-and-lovin’-it heroines. Frankly that’s such a rare commodity in traditional romance circles that I think that’s why we’ve seen such a boom in the erotica/erotic-romance market.
What I really don’t understand is how a person can say, I don’t read “fill-in-the-blank” and they have never read it.
When people make blanket statements like “I don’t read erotica or erotica romance, it doesn’t appeal to me,” and they have never read it, and then they say they won’t pick up anything with the label erotica, I have to wonder if the person is serious. How do you know it doesn’t appeal to you if you have never read any? That makes about as much sense as me saying I don’t like sushi when I have never tasted it. I can say, I’d rather not taste it, because I have a feeling I might not like it and a tiny aversion to raw fish. But for me to go on and on about how much I can’t stand sushi would be a bit ridiculous. 
So, instead of making statements that show you really don’t have a clue about the genre, how about you just say, “I haven’t read any and don’t have a desire to. I have no idea if I’d like it because I don’t want to expand my reading enough to try it.” 
As a general rule, erotica does not work as entertainment for me. Of course, a lot of things guys find erotic make most women go “ew” so it may just be a case of my not belonging to the target audience. Having sampled a few, I now pass over books identified as erotic romance.
But erotic or no, the heroine — and hero — must be real. People you can believe in doing things that make sense. So the stereotypes don’t work no matter what else is going on.
Kimber An, if the contraceptin is 100% effective, you won’t have to worry about the resulting children…
I do agree with Tara’s comment: to say you won’t read anything labelled erotica-which I’m guessing also includes erotic romance?-but you also challenge authors to come up with stories “so multi-dimensional and real I don’t notice the label”. How are you going to know that’s happened if you aren’t willing to give the genre a chance? How do you know that book/s doesn’t already exist?
I’m not trying to badger you, or anyone else, into trying erotica. But as you’ve pointed out several times lately, your favorite book of last year was a mystery even though you don’t generally like mysteries. Which just goes to show that when you keep an open mind and let go of your comfort zone, you might be surprised at yourself.
Wendy, regarding your original column, lol. IMHO, the odds of finding good print erotica or erotic romance are pretty slim. Ebooks and online journals seem to be the better option, and since you can’t do any browsing withing the book itself, Ebooks will always be a crapshoot. No pun intended.
1) Graphic detail distracts me from the emotion of the scene, because I’m a very visual person. I need to just feel the story.
2) The characters have to be multi-dimensional and I have to care about them by the time they do it. In ‘Rumble’ the heroine certainly was not a blushing virgin. She was a 30something alpha female who ’slept around’ before the hero came along. But, by the time she jumped into the sack with the hero I truly believed they were in love and that they had a deep respect for each other in addition to their wild attraction.
3) Labels are your worst nightmare for reluctant readers. Get your great story out by word of mouth, through blogs and reviews and such.
4) I LOVE babies! If I was physically capable, I would have a new baby every year! Don’t present them or the prospect of having them as an annoyance or a curse. Perfectly understandable if the couple’s not ready for whatever reason. But, anyone who disses babies is not going to snag me!
Your heroine doesn’t have to hate babies or motherhood to be strong and sexy. Far from it. Or, so my husband tells me.:lol:
I love this post and I really agree with it. (And I totally get your “doesn’t have to be dominant to be in charge of their own sexuality” thing. There is this completely idiotic assumption that a woman who chooses to “submit” is some weak-willed little pansy.)
I’m a fan of erotica as well. I like a storyline that’s sexual because there is so much there to explore about who we are as human beings, on this very basic primal level. It cuts out a lot of the BS I think.