For a very long time, I’ve been writing proposals for big, single-title suspense books–usually about the first 100 pages–and never finishing them, because they didn’t sell.
A few months ago, my new agent read one of my proposals and tentatively suggested I finish the book. She said she really wanted to give it the very best chance, and that editors would be much more willing to take a look–and read it quickly–if the book was finished.
I think she was afraid I’d get all high-and-mighty because I’m multi-published and I “shouldn’t have to finish the book.” But actually, I embraced her advice. I love this book a lot. It’s a sprawling serial-killer romantic suspense with multiple points-of-view, and I started it more than two years ago, working on it when I could between category-romance deadlines. I really wanted to finish it–I guess I just needed someone to give me permission to take the time to write a book that, realistically, might never sell.
So I happily jumped in. At first the writing came easily. I was dictating scenes into my recorder while I ran errands and lying awake at night, planning how I would do the next scene. I was checking out research books from the library and combing the Internet for information on criminal psychology and FBI procedures.
As I closed in on the climax, however, the writing became more difficult. I started second-guessing myself and became dissatisfied with everything I wrote. The closer I got to “The End,” the more panicky I got about finishing the thing–which is a bit odd for me. I usually race toward the finish line and can’t wait to complete a project and move on to the next thing. But not with this book.
I finally realized I simply didn’t want to say good-bye to this story. The characters have become like family. (Heck, I’m even fond of the villain, poor guy.) Plus, if I actually finish it, I’ll have to send it to my agent, who will then forward it out into the big bad world of editors. I’ve always had very high hopes for this book, and if everybody in the known universe rejects it, I will take it more personally than usual.
Then there’s the whole fear-of-success thing. Am I too comfortable in my Harlequin niche to want to expand into bigger, more complex books?
So, a lot going on.
Doggedly I pushed on, and a couple of days ago I typed “The End.” It was wonderfully satisfying. Of course, there’s a lot of revision and polishing to do yet, so I don’t really have to say good-bye.
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How interesting. Thanks for sharing all of this. And I know what you mean. By the end of the book, you’ve spent so much time with these characters, you’ve given them a soundtrack you listened to the whole time, maybe even redesigned your web site or blog to go along with the feel of the book. You’re totally immersed and then you have to say good-bye. And the more immersed you are, the tougher the rejection is. Well, it sounds like this one is a seller. Best of luck with it.
In science-fiction or fantasy media tie-in, I’m at the point where I can get in the door with a proposal and maybe a treatment. (Not always get the job, but get in the door.) But when it came to romantic suspense and mystery writing, no dice. They need to see complete manuscripts. (Because, hey, I’ve never published a romantic suspense or mystery novel. They don’t know if I can do it.)
Writing for Star Trek or MechWarrior or Doctor Who is different from writing original fiction when it comes to the “good-bye factor” because when I get to the end of a project, I know the universe is still there. Even though I may be done for the moment and may be gone for a while, it will live on without me and always be there for me to revisit (and get new ideas).
But when I came near the end of my own original mysteries — and around the middle of my romantic suspense — I began thinking I could not leave these people. So instead of finishing the projects I began mapping out a whole series for each of my major characters (or, in the case of the romantic suspense, novels and through-story arcs for each of the secondary and tertiary characters).
This year my goal is to set aside enough time from my tie-in writing to say good-bye to at least one of these books. (My eye is on the romantic suspense, but my wife Valerie thinks one of the mysteries is some of my strongest work.) It’s actually very reassuring to know the process of saying good-bye doesn’t get any easier.
Thanks, Kathy
Kimber An–
Strangely enough, some readers WANT to read the same plot over and over. That’s always baffled me. Danielle Steele has made a career of this and I don’t think any of her editors mind! However, I know what you mean. Many editors have been burned when buying on proposal, and these days I think they are more cautious.
And yes, a SERIES is a wonderful idea! I actually already have an idea for a sequel.
KeVin–Writing for an ongoing universe like that must be interesting. I’ve participated in Harlequin continuities before, and it’s interesting to see the “universe” from other writers’ perspectives.
I know what you mean. The last manuscript I wrote I was so in love with the hero that I didn’t want to let him go (not that he was perfect by any stretch of the imagination).
Part of the difficulty is that we’re not only leaving the manuscript world but we’re also sending that world out to possibly rejection. Harsh.
Hmmm, my comment didn’t go through the first time . . . trying again. Okay . . .
KARA! I can totally relate. Good luck with the book.
LOL, Allison. I’ve had a couple of comments disappear, too. What’s up with that?
Right now I have no choice but to write books that may never sell. LOL!
But it really says something that you’re very attached to even the villain. It’s most likely made for an emotional work that’s goingto be hard to put down!
Hi Kara,
Congrats that the new agent wants to see everything! That’s always so exciting anyway.
I can understand your pain as you write, though, for I’ve been there. I’ve given my agent permission to kick me in the posterior if I don’t have the work done by March when I see her in NYC. So I’m going to be killing myself to get it all done, but it’s time. Sometimes I wonder if we hold on simply because we’re comfortable and jumping out into that unknown (or pushing out our baby and our characters) is rather scary.
Michele
Kara, bigtime congrats! I have only felt that “finishing regret” once, with my Blaze HotWires series. Usually I’m just relieved to have made it to the end.
Having just finished a first ms that I’m seeking representation for as well, it took me days to finally get up the nerve to send some queries — that was new, too. With my category book, even my first one, I felt very confident. This time, it was cold fingers all the way… LOL But you know, the thing is that it sound like you love your book, and that’s how I felt about mine. I’d love for it to sell, and plan to ride it to the end to make that happen, but even if it didn’t, isn’t it nice to have had that particular writing experience?
Best wishes on it, and many more,
Sam
Good luck with it, Kara!
Good for you! And man, the day I can send a proposal versus a full book will feel glogrious. But since I get bored doing only one thing, I am SURE I will have a few full books I’ll still need to write. I just can’t stay status quo… sound familiar?
Good luck with the book! Crossing my fingers for you!
Gina–
It’s been a while since I finished a book strictly on spec, and it’s kind of freeing! Since I have no editor but me, I can write only to please me, and it’s nice.
Michele–
Having an agent who likes your work and is confident she can take you where you want to go in your career–that is absolutely priceless. I know I’m lucky!
Samantha–
When I started my agent hunt, I literally hadn’t written a query letter in more than 15 years. I had forgotten how nervewracking it can be, sending stuff out with no stamp of approval from an agent.
Spyscribbler and Bethany–thanks! Of course, selling on proposal for the first time is scary, too. You’re excited for about a day, then you get scared–what if I can’t finish it? What if it goes all wrong? What if I can’t make the deadline???
Dear Kara,
until THEY are done with you. I hope that this agent will do right by you and find a suitable home for your novel/s.
Thank you for sharing! Indeed some characters won’t let go of the writer
By the way, I’m intrigued about the bit re. dictating the novel while you were driving. Ah, technology! Would that I could train my own software to decipher my accent ….
Best wishes, always
Kristina
Kristina–
I didn’t think I had much of a southern accent, but strangely whenever I say “I’ll” this software thinks I’m saying “All.” In fact, it misunderstands me a lot! It seems to have good days and bad days.
Congratulations on typing The End. It sure is a bit scary sending in a submission. . .then comes the really awful part — THE WAIT.
I wish you luck on this. . .I, personally, love serial-killer romantic suspenses, so you can count on me picking up a copy if it’s published!