As one of the first entries of the new 2007 year, I’m feeling the pressure to make this blog entry profound or prophetic.
I’ve had too much eggnog to be either, so I’m going to talk about query letters and perfecting your romance novel pitch instead. Perhaps it’s your New Year’s resolution to get a fresh start on finding representation. Maybe your query letter has gotten some requests for sample pages but not as many as you think it should. Time to change it up.
Well, consider this a free mini romance query workshop to get you back in the game for the new year. As an agent, it breaks my heart when I see generic letters with ideas that could really be special (and interest me in looking at 30 pages) if the writer had just learned the art of balancing pertinent details while highlighting the original hook. But when the letter is too general, I assume the manuscript is too generic as well and give it pass.
You don’t want that happening to you.
So let’s talk about Rule #1 of how you solve the problem of a generic query pitch paragraph—and I’m even going to break it down by romance genre.
Rule 1: Avoid generic plot themes masquerading as a hook and generic phrases that don’t get the job done.
In historical romances, I see a lot of spunky widows rescuing the wounded soldier (the wounded spy etc.). The plucky Regency lady who must marry money (aka. the notorious rake) to save her family.
These are NOT hooks. They are simply plot devices that have been used before. Now, it’s up to you to make them into a hook. How so? What would make a widow rescuing a soldier or spy an odd or unique thing? Answer that question and you potentially have your hook. What strange twist can you create as to why the lady must marry money to survive? It’s that element that becomes the hook.
Also, I see a lot of “must overcome their doubts” or “overcome their past” in order to begin their new lives together.
It’s basically just a waste of a sentence. You only have one page for your query letter. Every sentence needs to count.
In paranormal romances, I see a lot of witches needing to team up with someone (a warlock, a vampire, a regular FBI agent who doesn’t believe in her powers) in order to find a missing object, a missing person, etc. Here’s another popular theme: a normal gal suddenly realizes that she has a special gift that puts her life in danger.
Once again, it’s okay to use these general themes but in order to make your paranormal stand out, you have to go deeper. What is the gift? Why this woman of all people to have it? The gift alone can’t drive the plot so it must be something else beyond that to create your hook. Looking for an object or a person is a plot element of the story but it’s not a hook.
Generic catch phrases to avoid:
“Can she trust the handsome stranger in her life?”
The hero is “no ordinary man.”
The hero is the leader of his race and she is his true mate.
In romantic suspense, I see lots of women being stalked and then must face her past. Either that or she must ask for help from the one man who a) broke her heart, b) betrayed her, c) with whom she had a secret baby years ago, or d) insert general theme. Lots of women need to hook up with a CIA or FBI agent, former Navy Seal, Federal Marshall, you name it.
Once again, it’s okay to use these general themes. Just don’t mistake it for a romantic suspense hook.
Generic catch phrases to avoid:
“her life in grave danger”
“the only man who can save her”
In contemporary romance, I see a lot of story lines where the hero and heroine are on opposite sides of issue and therefore “instant enemies” so to speak.
Once again, this in itself is not an issue. It’s just that the writer makes the mistake in assuming that the general theme can hold its own as a hook. It’s fine to have the two protagonists in opposing positions but you still need to answer the question of why the reader would care to read about these two characters. The fact that they are “natural” enemies is only the scratch on the surface.
Generic catch phrases to avoid:
“Letting herself trust a man again”
“Unable to deny (or fight) the attraction”
“Life is about to take a new turn”
If revamping your query letter is one of your New Year’s resolutions, consider yourself nudged to tackle it first thing.
Ah, this topic is just what I needed. It’s time to pull out the ol’ query letter and polish it up. In the past I’ve resisted the query letter because it’s not what I’m used to writing, but submitting takes a query letter I’ll become one with the query letter and hopefully have a decent one-pager in the end.
by Sara January 2nd, 2007 at 6:33 am:???:I’m constantly revamping my query. The thing I’ve learned about query letters recently is that agents vary widely on what they like to see. Soooo, not only do they all want to see a different submission package, but they all want to see something different in it. This can make a writer bang her head on the keyboard. The best we can hope for is that each agent will have an example of the query letter format they like to see on their websites, which our esteemed Kristin Nelson does. If they don’t, one can try snagging a client of the agent for advice. If not, take your best guess and hope for the best!:grin:
by Kimber An January 2nd, 2007 at 9:11 amYou are psychic. I was up until midnight last night tweaking the letter I’m currently writing, and back at it this morning. So far seem to have avoided the “generic” trap. IAfter about 20 revisions, I think the book info is fine.
Where I feel hung up is that most agents also seem to want a lot of author info, namely why you are qualified to write this book (what inspired you?) publications information, as well as writing experience.
So, I am lurching back and forth between deleting everything in my professional credentials that doesn’t directly have to do with writing this book, or leaving it in there to show that I have extensive writing background. It adds a full paragraph to the letter, pushing it over one page. At present, with salutations, I’ll run about a page and a half. Some agents I am targeting say “About a page” some say as much as two pages, so I think I’m okay, but what’s preferred? More info or less? Which way to go?
Sam
by Samantha Hunter January 2nd, 2007 at 10:01 amThank you, Kristen! Good advice.
by Robyn January 2nd, 2007 at 10:17 amI made the mistake the first time around of going the standard query letter route. Silly me. My background is marketing. Why would I use the standard when I spend my day writing sales letters? So I’ve switched to a sales letter (which is all a query really is) with more success.
I was afraid of being rejected based on some unknown rule. Ironically instead I got rejected because my queries lacked passion.
by Kimber January 2nd, 2007 at 11:46 amSooo…the basis of the query letter is to tell the agent what the story is about, in an exciting and new manner?
by Camilla January 2nd, 2007 at 8:53 pm
by Lesley January 2nd, 2007 at 10:11 pmI love this blog! I didn’t know it existed until I found it while browsing Kristin’s webpage. This is just what I needed. I was writing hook after hook yesterday, and the one I decided on I still wasn’t pleased with. Now I know why! It was too darn generic! Back to the drawing board. Thanks, Kristin!!!
Thanks for the great advice… All suggestions noted.
by Candice Gilmer January 2nd, 2007 at 11:19 pmExcellent suggestions. I particularly like the sentences to avoid.
Alice
by Alice Audrey January 3rd, 2007 at 5:19 pmThanks for pointing out specifics like that for the different subgenres. It’s easy to fall into a cliche in query letter writing even if the book itself isn’t.
by Zoe Winters January 8th, 2007 at 4:34 am