According to a 2005 study by Romance Writers of America, 22% of romance readers are male. I suspect that number may actually be quite a bit higher, because just as some women won’t admit to reading romance because they fear ridicule by their peers, surely not every man will own up to reading the books. On top of that, I’m convinced that some men have read romance without realizing they were dipping into that genre. Case in point: I recently heard from a young man who found my second book on the coffee table at his mother’s house. He was bored and wanted something to read. He finished the book and then wrote a very polite e-mail asking if that was a “real” romance novel and if all of the other romance novels were just like it. (Yes, I replied. And no.)
A few years ago, my blue-collar, gun-owning, pickup-truck-driving, cowboy-boots-wearing, former-tobbacco-chewing brother-in-law would have fallen down laughing if anyone had encouraged him to read a romance novel. But one day while trapped in a hospital waiting room, curiosity and boredom provoked him to open a copy of my first book, which I had sent to his teenage daughter. He enjoyed it and phoned me a couple of days later to discuss his reading experience. On hearing that he had read my book, I swallowed my amazement and waited for his gruff, “It was okay.” But he surprised me again, telling me in some detail how “real” the hero seemed, and how much the cheeky heroine had made him laugh. I never heard whether my niece read the book, but her father told me to forget her and send him a copy of my next one. I did that, and within a day or two of receiving my second book, he had finished it–and once again, he wanted to talk about the story.
One of the things that surprised me when my first book came out and I began getting mail from readers was how many of those communications were from guys. I still treasure the one from a retired Marine colonel who didn’t like loose ends and wanted to know what happened to the drunk driver who had crashed into my heroine’s car and almost killed her. He was dead at the scene, I wrote back, hoping that would satisfy the colonel’s sense of justice.
I’ve saved the best for last: my all-time favorite letter was from a man who said he and his wife had enjoyed my first book immensely. Over the course of several nights, he read it aloud to her as they lay together in their bed.
What’s been your experience with men and romance novels?
No related posts.
You’re psychic!! I was just thinking about this!
The only men (I know of) who’ve read my work are men I know personally. And they questioned me relentlessly afterward, wanting to know what was ‘real’ and what wasn’t. I assume they enjoyed it, but I don’t know if they’d still be interested if they didn’t know the author.
I am really curious to hear everyone else discuss how often men contact them. I’ve been fascinated with this for an entire week now!
My husband will read mine. I’ve almost got him to read a Rocki St. James. All the other men in my family wouldn’t touch it. My sister’s husband will probably read mine when it comes out. Hmm, don’t know of anyone else.
My brother was a big time romance reader. He got hooked on The Flame and The Flower. I’m sure he’d read mine, but unfortunately he’s no longer with us
These days my male fans consist of the guys I work with. They LOVE my books and constantly ask for the next one. A few male neighbors have read them as well.
Would they read romance if they didn’t know an author? I dont’ know. But I’ll ask!
I’ve been amazed by the number of men willing to read my books. My cousin read my first book before it was published. A man in my writer’s group read one of my books also before it was published. Both gave me great feedback. I was surprised that men were interested in these stories but glad they were willing to try ‘em. My husband has also read and enjoyed most of my books and now reads JD Robb’s In Death series.
Well, of course _I_ never read romances, but…
Wait. Blew that cover a while back, didn’t I?
I know very few other men who read romances. And my romance reading is fairly narrow.
Generally sweet, or at most R — just not an erotica fan.
Romantic suspense.
Historicals where they get the history right (used to teach that stuff).
I used to say romantic sf, but I thought Anne McCaffrey wrote romantic sf, and I’ve been told that’s not right, so maybe I don’t recognize that genre.
And just about any interracial and intercultural stories that get it right (26 years as a partner in an interracial marriage has left me with a pretty strong sense of what’s authentic and what’s window dressing). That’s about it.
BTW: I have never, ever, had a conversation with another heterosexual man who was not a writer about a romance novel.
I’ve gotten some fan mail from men. One wanted to know if I wrote the books with men or women in mind, because he really enjoyed it. Then continued to ask me about the other books in the series. It was his wife’s book.
I’ve gotten several of the “we read it in bed together” emails and I think it’s great. They do say that women who read romance have better sex lives in thier marriages. (don’t as me who says that–it’s early and pre-coffee–lol)
Excellent blog topic
Michelle
Brenda,
Enjoyed the blog. A lot more men read romance then would admit to it. I’m a retired correctional officer, who as a female, worked in a men’s facility. The male inmates couldn’t get enough of romance and soap operas. They had favorite authors, they would request from the book cart. Often the female officers, would donate used books to them, and they’d like to get into a dicussion on plotting, the writing style of different authors. So its more common then you think. It was funny to listen to conversations in murder max, where all the killers wanted to know who read the latest Nora Roberts, and how they’d remind me to change the channel to General Hospital in the afternoon, and which usually followed in a spirited conversation on who was doing who, and lame criminals in the show.
I don’t know any men who read romances. But I know a lot of women who insist to me up down and backwards that they would never read a romance, and then tell me their favorite writer is Nora Roberts. So I bet there are a lot of men AND women out there that don’t know what a romance is. A lot of romances are on the front tables at bookstores, and nobody looks on the spine…
I don’t know how many men have read my books, but I’m thrilled that I have any male readers. My friend’s son-in-law, an astrophysicist told me that I “write men really well”, which I take as a high compliment from a guy.
My husband is my first reader, but he doesn’t read fiction otherwise, so he’s not really a fair comparison.
I have had military friends of his say they want to read my entire entry in the American Title contest and since they know full well it’s a romance, I find that encouraging.
I know labels serve their purpose, but it’d be nice if once in awhile people just read without worrying what category a book was. Imagine what we could discover!
My brother demanded an ARC of my first book. He just emailed the other day to say that he’d finished it, and that he loved it (of course he’s one of those straight guys who scores “just gay enough” on the GQ quiz).
I just love picturing this tan surfer laying on a beach in New Zealand reading my book. *GIGGLE*
Most of my male friends claim they’re dying to read my book, and I actually believe a few of them.
Thanks, everyone, for chiming in. I’m deeply interested in your thoughts and experiences on this subject.
This is too funny!
I’m unpublished, and my hubby has read half of one of my manuscripts and had the gall to tell me it wasn’t a romance. I can’t imagine what else he was expecting!
I’m a bookseller, and I’ve had a few men who bought and read romance over the years. I have an older gentleman now that comes in and buys an Ellora’s Cave book every week…
My dad worked as a projectionist in NYC for 30+ years and between reel changes he’d read. He started out with westerns but soon exhausted his supply and moved on to my grandmother’s Harlequins, these fit his time schedule perfectly and has been reading them ever since adding in an occasional historical.
My husband, the man who thought all romance had to be trash “simply look at those covers” not only reads romantic suspense but will admit it to others.
I can agree with Kevin’s summary that he doesn’t know any hetero guys who do not write but who read romance. By agreeing, I simply mean that I came to reading blogs about romance (and some romance novels) due to my own writing. Sort of by accident, I wrote an online romantic story that was extremely popular on its web site. What shocked me was that most of the response was from other men, when I thouht I was writing it mostly as the female ideal romance. (I guess I should make it clear that I’m male.) I began to think about this contradiction: 1) guys loving an online romantic story but 2) being embarassed to even be in the romance section of the bookstore, much less read one. I thought about my own reading in the past and realized that while the favorite books overall were adventures or fantasies (Mutiny on the Bounty, Count of Monte Cristo, etc.), it was usually the romance in the story that made my pulse jump more than anything else. In the end, I came to the conclusion that there is a market for romantic fiction for men but it’s only partially being tapped. And that’s why I now prowl blogs like this to learn about the Romance genre.
One barrier to marketing romance to men is purely external and easily modified if publishers wish to do so – the covers. The other part is more interesting, which is the content inside. I know I’ve always had a problem with the classic alpha hero, a character who has been often discussed here and in other places. For me the alpha male comes off simply as a jerk for so long in the book that I never get to the part where he is reformed because I’ve put the book down. The alpha male can also often be hard to identify with for your average joe. If one enjoyment of reading books is identifying with a character, it might be hard for your cubicle-working / carpenter / assistant manager guy to identify with a sheik, billionaire tycoon, or duke. (Don’t worry, I am well aware that romantic heroes do not all fit these stereotypes, but the alpha male is still around in much of romance, I believe, and I’ve even seen publishing lines still stating that the hero must be exactly this.) All of this talk about alpha males is really me asking the question of whether or not the conceptions of romance for female readers are close enough to the conceptions of male readers for both to be happy in large numbers. I think the answer must be yes, but I could be wrong.
Discussions of much of this can also be found at this Teach me Tonight posting. It’s an academic romance blog linked over on the left there.
My DH reads romance! He’s a big retired Special Forces cowboy, LOL. I’m so proud that he reads romaces!
I get the Harlequin Intrigues, and one day, he picked up one. Now he reads way more romance than I do, and I write the stuff!
Weird part: he laughs in ALL the wrong places, in all the parts that just … are not funny, and are usually at the heroine’s expense. *sigh*
Ripping yarns
But don’t call them bodice-ripping. Brenda Coulter reveals that a lot more guys are reading those love stories than you might think: According to a 2005 study by Romance Writers of America, 22% of romance readers are male. I suspect…
Just to complicate things for KeVin and Pacatrue, I’ll say that I’m a straight man who reads (and teaches) romance novels, but doesn’t write them. I’ve had a few “conversion experiences” among my male students, too, although they do tend to gravitate toward romantic suspense (Linda Howard is always a hit) rather than regencies or contemporaries.
I can’t say I identify with the heroes very often, although my wife says that I love Jennifer Crusie’s “Bet Me” because I identify with Cal. It’s not at all about being intimidated (ahem!), except maybe by some of those Navy SEALS; it’s just that when the heroines are so fun, who has time to pay attention to the guys?
My husband has surprised me sometimes with what he enjoys . He doesn’t go out and buy romance, but then he doesn’t buy nearly as many books of any genre as I do. When he’s cruising the shelves (and tables, and stacks on the floor…) in our house looking for something new to read he’s picked up and enjoyed Susan Grant, Linnea Sinclair, and Nora Roberts as herself as well as in her JD Robb persona.
I remember a film class where the teacher stunned the guys in the room – he asked the question, “What genre film is Terminator?” and the guys all said s/f and I said, “Romance.” And he agreed with me, explaining that Cameron (writer/director) had categorized it in his view as a romance first, set againt the s/f backdrop. I would love to see the RWA or some of the publishers unite and produce great ads / commercials which expanded the perspective of what romance can be.
Hi, I stumbled on this thread via Syaffolee. I have a question for the folks here, if I may ask. I’m a woman who’s read a few romance novels (maybe half-a-dozen different authors) and found they left me indifferent. It’s not because of an aversion to reading about love, it’s more like pacatrue’s comment about “alpha males”. The protagonists of romance novels seem to invariably be described as the peak of physical hotness, as super-womanly-woman and super-manly-man; gendering is ever-present. There’s a repetition of scoping out the sexual attractiveness of the characters. This sort of thing just leaves me cold, and I don’t find these characters appealing. But, by contrast, there are a zillion books centering on love and relationships, many of which I really like. I just have the feeling that if it’s not hyper-gendered and hyper-sexualized it’s not “romance genre”. Here’s my question to you folks: in your opinion, is there a difference between “romance novels” and “novels about love”, and if so, what?
Thanks!
Wow I nevered thought men would read a romance novel but it is good to hear that men actually do. That is so nice to hear not just women are reading romance but men as well.:grin:
My FIL reads romances. I give him bags of books after I read them, and he complained once when I put in a mystery.:roll:
I’m glad I found this discussion!
Vasha, I think there has been a lot of misconception about what a romance is, due in large part to the popularity of the “bodice-rippers” of the late 70s and early 80s. In fact, any story where there is a happy ending for the hero and heroine can be classified as a romance, whether or not there is any on-screen “activity.” If you read Brenda Coulter’s wonderful novels, you’ll see that true love can express itself without hopping into bed every other chapter. Whether there’s a difference between “romance” and “love story” would depend, I think, on your definition of what true love is…
As for knowing straight men who read romance, one of my friend’s husbands started reading his wife’s Regencies (notably Georgette Heyer) and sweet romances (especially D. E. Stevenson and Elizabeth Cadell). He also likes Westerns & SF.
Margaret Daley, in her blog at eharlequin.com, has a thread asking whether people prefer alpha, beta or gamma male heroes… (beta being more like the guy next door, and gamma a mix of alpha and beta). I think a lot of category romance used to fall into the trap of alpha male/alpha female “romance” that was little more than sexual attraction, the sort of thing that would never work out in real life, or last for long if it did. I’m glad that more realistic stories are available now, because life is not always like a soap opera!