My husband and I often have a conversation that goes around and comes back again. It has a lot to do with making ends meet and seeing things that we wish we had. Like…groceries. Hee hee. But seriously, the truth is, both of us grew up with a hunger for more than we had. We both come from very simple beginnings and though we’re not at all bothered by working for what we get, we sometimes get to thinking it would be nice if some of the pressures eased and we could have a few more luxuries. I like to call this our “When we get super-rich” list. On it, there’s quite a few things. Like “Buy house”, “Get maid”, “Have electrolosis because I hate plucking.” and my personal favorite, “Have an office.” Oh, the dreams we have for our someday office. When we’re feeling super lofty, we plan TWO offices!
Then the other night we were making dinner and I realized just how far we’ve come in our eleven years of marriage. I was surprised to realize that I expect meat every day. I mean, I’ve always liked meat. If you can slap it on a spit and make it taste good, odds are, I’ll eat it. But when I was a kid, getting fruit was a treat. Veggies not so much of one, but still, exciting. Meat was a reward for something spectacular, and here I am, expecting it every single day, and I’m not always satisfied with once a day. It seemed strange. So I asked hubby, in all seriousness, “Do you think I’m ungrateful?”
After all, my expectations have swelled so far beyond my beginnings. What right did I have to expect? To demand? Had I forgotten the hungry days of my youth? Was wanting more and having goals an indication that I no longer cherished the things and relationships I already had?
Hubby says no. That it’s only ungrateful if we resent what we have, instead of working to preserve it, to build from it. He’s a pretty smart guy, hubby, but I’ve been thinking about it ever since. It seemed fitting, as this is going to be the holiday post, to commemorate what I’m grateful for and to share it with all of you. Hopefully, you’ll all be able to reflect on what you’re truly grateful for and be able to take on what this holiday has become about and why it means so very much to Americans from coast to coast.
My top five list:
5) I’m grateful for little toes. Not mine, my son’s. He’s 8 and nearly my size. He’s funny and crazy and goofy and gross and huggy and kind. And when he hops into my bed first thing in the morning, he tosses his lanky limbs every which way and I often get the imprint of frozen little toes on my leg, right before he laughs and shrieks that I’m too warm. I just love those little toes.
4) The sound of my husband’s laughter. He doesn’t think much of it. I don’t always mean the hoots or the guffaws. My favorite is the chuckle, when he doesn’t want to laugh and does it anyway. If he laughs once a day, just once, I’m thinking that maybe we’re doing okay and I can breathe.
3) Teachers. Especially Moo’s teachers. They’ve given me back my son, taught him ways to communicate and do more for him every day than I could ever imagine how to approach. Teachers are not thanked enough in my opinion. And the special needs teachers? Even more not enough.
2) Miracles. When I first got married, I knew already that having children was going to be a bit harder to do. We got lucky with Moo. We discussed having children and discovered I was already pregnant. (Thus hubby’s hard and fast rule about no longer discussing it.) He’s been a miracle every day of his life, bringing sheer joy even on the hardest days. It makes me wonder what these two girls are going to add to our lives. To have my children and my husband and my career… I’m not only glad that miracles exist, but that I’m so lucky to have so many in my life.
1) Family. This is a bit different. I have a reeeeaalllllly odd family situation. I have divorced parents. There’s been a remarriage. I have 4 siblings remaining and we all have a total of 13 kids. And one neice has two kids of her own. Hubby has divorced parents and two siblings and Moo has one cousin from that side. That’s 29 people in our immediate family. We’re weird. We’re confusing and confused. We have five cultures blended in there and we’re totally insane. But I love them. The ones that don’t make sense. The ones that get on my nerves. The ones that only call when Oprah is doing something neat she simply HAS to share with me. They keep every day interesting and challenging and my life would be so empty without them.
There’s lots more to be grateful for in the world. In my life. These are the things I think of when I’m honest about what I have to lose, what means the most. Even if you don’t celebrate Thanksgiving, take a moment to hug close those things that mean most to you. It shouldn’t have to be one day a year for that.
Here’s to you and yours. Stay safe and feel free to share your top five!
Dee
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Beautiful post, Dee. I shall look with new eyes at things in my life that make it all worth while…
thanks for sharing.
~ Wylie
I love your post! Whoever first said that the secret to happiness isn’t getting what you want, but appreciating what you have, was one smart person. I’m thinking of gratitude today and planning my own blog post, so this gave me a jump start.
1) I’m grateful every single day to be alive and pretty healthy in spite of myself.
2) I’m grateful for my families. First there’s the flesh and blood family of my brother, sister-in-law and nephews. They mean the world to me. I don’t have kids of my own and, at my age, won’t be, but I’m blessed that I have a great relationship with the nephews. Our extended family of aunts, uncles and cousins, round us out in good ways. Then there is my vast family of dear friends — sisters and brothers of the heart, if not shared genes. We enrich each other’s lives in ways too numerous to count. My third family is the group of people and animals at my day job. United in our mission and strengthened by the passion we share for what we do.
3) This brings me to the third thing I’m most grateful for — that I have two jobs about which I care deeply and go at with passion. By day I work for a nonprofit marine mammal education and research facility. By night (and weekends), I’m a romance novelist. I’m lucky enough to not only live one dream, but two.
4) I will always be grateful that I was born to parents who loved me; who taught me to think and act for myself; who instilled me with ethics and helped me learn the importance of integrity; who emphasized the importance of compassion and the need to care for others. Mom and Dad are both gone now, but their lessons live on and I could have had no better guideposts to follow on my life’s journey.
5) That at the end of every day, I have more reasons to be happy than sad, to smile instead of cry and to be grateful instead of empty.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.
1) My friends.
2) My family.
3) My friends.
4) My dog.
5) Did I mention my friends?
Dee, thank you for a beautiful post.
We don’t have Thanksgiving over here in the UK but I sometimes think we should. Everybody, no matter where in the world they live, has one reason or another to give thanks. IMHO we don’t realise often enough how much we really have to be thankful for.
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving everyone.
Sue
Dee,
That is a beautiful post. I have been so caught up in being at the day job, the drive I have tonight, the drama of getting myself, my brother, and a friend 400 miles before the turkey hits the table, that I forgot to be thankful. Thank you for reminding me.
There’s so much to be thankful for.
1. Family
2. Church
3. Writing
4. Health
5. House.
You are so eleoquent, Dee. You should print that out and stick it in what will be the girls’ baby book. They’ll read it someday when they are pregnant and weep (and then blame it on hormones).
What a great story, Dee. Thank you for sharing such personal treasures.
I’m grateful that I was able to meet my father for the first time as an adult and now he’s calling himself “Dad.” I’m grateful I was able to write a book about my experience and to reach out to other Fatherless Daughters. And, most of all, I’m grateful to the Father to the fatherless.
And one of the biggest treasures in my life, besides all of this, my dh, and my cats, are the wonderful writers I’ve discovered online. Happy Thanksgiving and Blessings to one and all!
I’m a day late, but that’s okay.
My Top 5-
1. My parents. They’ve been with me thru thick & thin and I thank the Lord every day for them.
2. My brother & sister-in-law: Though my brother drives me nuts 99% of the time, I can’t imagine life without him. And my sis-in-law for putting up with both of us.
3. For my nephew: What a joy it’s been to watch the little man grow. I’m thankful that he’s here and that he makes me smile whenever I see him.
4: For friends: I’ve made wonderful ones both in person and via the internet. They make my life worthwhile.
5. Finally, for my creativity & the ability to bring something to someone’s life. Without that, what’s the point?
Electrolysis sucks. Try a laser treatment. Much better, less painful, and longer lasting.
Y’know, just to help with the dreaming part.