Writing isn’t an easy career. We bleed our hearts onto the page and bare our souls to anyone willing to read. Not to mention putting up with nagging, whining characters who keep us up late at night insisting we tell their stories — when what we’d really love to do is just give them the boot.
And for all this, what does a writer face when she submits her work? Rejection. It’s inevitable, unless you’re only submitting your work to your best friend’s webzine. I’ve seen a lot of writers, both aspiring and published, blog about this subject. About the fear of rejection. About the fear of failure.
Okay, sure. That’s valid enough. After all, most people have dealt with guilt trips and shame jobs from well-meaning (or not) family and friends. Culturally speaking, the general attitude is, if you don’t immediately succeed, then you must be a failure — and this just isn’t true. Writing isn’t something you can just snap your fingers and be good at; it takes time and dedication. And when you’re submitting, you’ve got to figure in the luck factor. Cause, Agent X may normally like the sort of thing you write, but if she’s just waded through several crappy query letters and partials that are in the same sub-genre you write — it may well sour her towards other similar
work.
But something I’ve noticed? Fear of rejection isn’t the only issue. There’s also fear of success.
At this point, I’ve had over 150 rejections on various works over the past six years. (I don’t know what the actual count is because I’ve lost some along the way.) Rejection is normal to me. I expect it. Even though I’m confident in my skills as a writer — and I’ve had overall good reviews of my published work — I still assume that I’ll be rejected.
I am scared to death of being published “for real.” Not to insinuate that my published work to date doesn’t count for anything, but I don’t view short stories in the same light as longer work. You can do a one-off short story and be cool. The same is not necessarily true of novels.
If I sell a novel, whether print or epublished, there will be deadlines and expectations from both publishers and readers for a sequel, whether in the same setting or stand-alone. What if the second book sucks? Worse, what if everything goes south and I can’t finish book two? What if I do finish it and everybody hates it? What if I get a great advance and the book doesn’t perform as well as it should and I lose my career? How will people treat me? How will they
react? How will I juggle the professional side with my real life?
Etc., etc., so on and so forth.
I try not to let myself dwell on it, because when I do, I’m struck with paralyzing fear resembling an anxiety attack. (Okay, maybe it is one. I’m not a doctor. I don’t know.) I’m not afraid of rejection — so I submit anyway and try not to think about what happens if it’s accepted.
But I wonder if the people who are afraid of failure — and thus don’t submit their work — are only afraid of that … or if they’re also afraid of success.
Thoughts, anyone? Am I alone here?
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There is a glaring truth to this that pokes at me like a big stick.
After all the time and effort I’ve put into my writing, all the praise and feedback I’ve received (even from publishers)why am I still sitting on it?
You are right, fear of failure is but one of the many hell hounds that chase us… fear of success is well hidden but far more insidious.:shock:
[...] I have a blog post up at RTB about fear of success in writing… click here to check it out. [...]
Unfortunately, that’s often the case … and IMO, anything that’s pervasive and insidious is all the harder to confront.
I think it’s a valid fear – the expectations get higher and the attention span of a lot of readers is rather short, so now you have to write even faster, most likely promote yourself, and if you don’t already, attend numerous conferences and writing events.
Given all that, do you still want it? That’s the question.
Stacy, that’s a very valid question. There’s a lot of reasons why somebody might not want to write professionally. It used to be a writer could put out a book every other year or so and be fine (especially in science fiction/fantasy), but these days, expectations are higher. One book a year minimum seems to be the norm, and preferably more.
Personally, for me, I’ve wanted to write professionally all my life, and it’s not something that’s changed. It’s like a “calling,” a vocation, and it’s not something I can turn away from, no matter how my inner demons might bitch and moan.
But I think it’s a question that people need to ask themselves, truthfully, because it’s not an easy field… and though the attitude is that if you write, you should want to pursue publication, it’s not the right path for everyone.
Nonny, I’m with you, I’ve always been a writer. It’s my creative outlet. I’m fairly creative and know most of the rules, applying towards a viable seller is another issue. Rejection I can handle, I’ve done it. Success, well, it is an anxiety ridden possibility, both good and bad. Good article.
Absolutely, Nonny. *nods head* I am afraid of failure and afraid of success.
Just can’t make me happy I guess.
I remember I was waiting for an agent to respond.
I was terrified she’d reject me.
Then I was stressed she’d ask me for a full (when I was rewriting). LOL.
I’m getting better.
Yes. Fear of success, even though we may know we’re crossing bridges before we’ve even turned unto the highway.
The complications, the changes that will inevitably ensue in our life, our family, our friends.
Well said, Elizabeth/Nonny. I certainly have no fear of rejection, and I LOVE selling books. But there is a little part of me that worries about whether I’ll be able to survive out there in the big bad world of single-title books, and gee, it’s so comfortable here in my category world ….
Even if these fears are very deep-seated, do we subtly sabotage ourselves? Is it better to fail in a small way (get a rejection) than to fail in a public way (a book that flops, gets terrible reviews, etc.)?
My mother would say that’s borrowing trouble! Sell the book first, then you can worry. But I do worry way too much (witness my “branding” column, below, LOL!)
Nonny you’ve hit the nail on the head. I’ve been having these very issues for two weeks now. I sent in a contest entry and the final judge is someone I’d dying to be published with, but that demon sneaks in. One minute I’m elated that I have a shot then the next I’m scared spitless that it’ll win and she’ll want to see it and one thing will lead to the next. (Somedays I feel so unprepared for this job)
I agree with Jennifer, just can’t make me happy.
Great topic Nonny.
Sienna
OMG, I SO know what you’re talking about. I have friends who’ve hit it “big” (a relative term)–multiple contracts with multiple publishers. Multiple deadlines. They’re swamped and overwhelmed…and of course, thrilled too.
Whenever we’re facing a new situation, there’s bound to be at least a little anxiety. I’m tackling that now, as I await my first Kensington release.
I think it’s normal and healthy, as long as it doesn’t hold you back.
Fear of success is just as great as fear of failure, yep. I want success, like anyone of us does. I want it so badly sometimes I want to cry because “true” success isn’t here yet.
And then I stop and ponder what true success would mean. I look at how much time I spend worrying about making deadlines, whether I’m doing enough promotion, etc, now, and how much more of that there could be. And I cower.
But I’m going to make myself do it anyway.
Fear of success is very real! When I signed my contract with Bantam, I kept asking myself, “are they sure they have the right person?” I asked myself that again when I got my advance check, when I turned in my first book and waited for my editor to tell me she hated it. And now that I’m on deadline with my second book, I ask myself that every day. But you just have to work through the fear, write the best book you can. What else can we do?
I know people-really great writers- who have held back their careers because of the fear. It’s up to each writer to decide what kind of career they want, and if it’s print pubbed in NY, then you have to just make a deal with yourself to send your ms off, no matter how scared you are.
It’s okay to be scared. Just don’t let it control your life.
I probably used to be afraid of not living up to expectations should I succeed. No longer. Why? Because I’ve got one novel I’m shopping, one I’m putting the last finishing touches to, and a number in various stages of development. I know I can write _books_ rather than ‘a book’; that I can write under pressure, that I can develop an idea even through a sticky patch, that I’m not going to run out of ideas. Consequently, I’m cool about any demands an editor might make upon me.
By the time the first book goes out (and sits in the mail box at agencies and publishers) you should be well into your second. Having a novel-in-hand, so to speak, is a great asset.
I think it’s totally understandable, Elizabeth! I’ve been that way at times. And truthfully I think it held me back when I obsessed too much over it. I would only send out my work once a year. After each local conference and an editor asked for it. If they rejected me, I’d literally wait another year until I could pitch to another editor or agent. I think I was afraid to succeed. The responsibilities that come with it.
But now I’ve turned a corner. I’m not afraid of success, I crave it. *crooks fingers* Bring it on!
But I wonder if the people who are afraid of failure — and thus don’t submit their work — are only afraid of that … or if they’re also afraid of success.
There are a lot of people afraid of success and, often subconsciously, they torpedo their own chances.
I was surprised to find out that a number of people publish one book and never make a second sale. I don’t know whether they’re so worried that they won’t repeat the first book’s success or what. But, something happens.
I know I get hit with insecurities, even after two books. The trick is to face the fear and write anyway!
This is absolutely spot on. Fear of failure kept me from submitting for years – maybe it’s fear of success that helps me handle the inevitable rejections. That ‘whew!’ dodged that bullet effect? Honestly I don’t know how we don’t all go insane. At first I thought rejection would shatter me, now I’ve been there, done that. Now I have to wonder do have the drive and hte energy to handle success? What if it all comes at me so fast I can’t keep up? What if I never achieve more than just nominal success and I have to deal with everyone holding their breath waiting for me to hit it big? As the last post said, you just have to write anyway and deal with everything as it comes.
Ah, gotta love wandering off to take a nap and instead sleeping for twelve hours.
*cracks knuckles and settles in to answer comments*
I had the same happen when I submitted my novel to Liquid Silver’s “Molten Silver” contest. The book was ultimately rejected because of a plot point they disliked — but they asked for a rewrite.
Me: *fall over*
I re-submitted it this morning (well, technically, yesterday). *crossing fingers*
Exactly. With most of my friends, I doubt publication will change anything — but I know a couple people who have been somewhat distant to me since I had a set of short stories published as an ebook. I’m sure it’s not just only that, but I am concerned about how I’ll be treated “afterwards” — even though I highly doubt it’s going to change me much as a person except for restricting my free time!
Thanks, Michelle — and good luck to you.
I think even above and beyond that, it’s a private/personal failure. Nobody else has to know about the rejection unless you want to tell them. Nobody else even has to know you submitted something.
A bad review on Amazon or RT or wherever … a lot more people are going to see. A lot more people are going to know if you get “computered” into oblivion and they can’t find your books anymore. Sure, you can write under a different name in that case, but it’s still admitting that you “failed.”
That’s what my fiance/CP tells me. I have yet to listen to that advice. LOL!
I think we all do. Hell, I think even the people who’ve “made it” probably feel the same way.
You and me both.
As I read blogs and websites, what has surprised me is how much published authors still experience fear — maybe of failure (not good enough the nth time around) but maybe of success (what if I really hit big? can I keep it going?)
I realize I had some degree of both going. Short stories have allowed me to experience some success-and rejection-but gave me enough confidence to feel like maybe I can really write that novel. So I will.
“Am I alone here?”
Man oh man, I feel the same thing every hour and every day. I used to feel as if I could do anything — that my writing would be critically accepted and praised, that readers would adore it, that editors and agents would knock each other over trying to sign me. Maybe it’s the years that have gone by on my long road to seeing a novel finally published, but with every day that goes by, my confidence slips a little more.
How far has it slipped? Far enough that I don’t want to use my real name, because my agent reads/writes for this blog…
“Kachka”
Wow… that sounds just like me. I get afraid of having to deal with the business side of writing, and worrying about what the readers want and will like, instead of just focusing on the stories. And then there’s self-promotion… I’m an extremely introverted person (not so much shy as just not able to handle very much social time), so how will I keep my sanity if I’m expected to do tons of self-promotion? And – the worst fear of them all – what if the stress that comes with being published makes me lose my enthusiasm for writing?
ButI’m going to do it anyway, because writing is a part of me. It’s not something I can give up. And deep down, I want to be published more than I fear it.