I’ve got a baby bump. It’s a baby baby bump, right now (I’m four and a half months pregnant with my first child) but it’s a bump nevertheless and it gives me lots of wonderful opportunities to moan on my blog about how fat I am, while feeling absolutely ecstatically happy.
My baby bump and I went to the Romantic Novelists’ Association conference up in the Lake District last weekend. It was great. I love romantic novelists, nearly as much as I would love someone giving out free ice cream if that sort of person existed (which they don’t around here, worse luck, because let me tell you, I have got a craving), and at the conference I witnessed something quite extraordinary: a lot of romance writers love to give advice on writing romance, but even more of them adore giving advice about having babies.
“How are you?†I was asked.
“Great,†I beamed. “Morning sickness is gone finally, I’ve got some energy, I gave in one book to one publisher last week just barely on deadline and in the next week I’ve got proofs to do for my other publisher and then I’ve got to do proposals for my next two books for both publishers and start the next book, and then I’m off to the States for the RWA conference, and none of my clothes fit me, of course, so I’m a little stressed, but happy.â€
“Stressed?†came the reply. And then the knowing smile. “You just wait until the baby.â€
Then I heard about night feeds. About sleep deprivation. About haemorrhoids. About episiotomies. About sciatica. About excruciatingly painful nipples. About colic. About kissing my perky breasts goodbye forever. All of this from the kindest, nicest people I could possibly meet in my life.
Meanwhile, I reflected that if this is the outcome of sex, I will possibly never have it again. And I’ll make damn sure none of my characters ever do, either.
I’m trying to remember if I received advice like this when I was about to be published. Gruesome details about forcing yourself to write just 1000 more words before you get out of your chair to stretch because your deadline is in two days and you’re not quite sure how the book is going to end yet. About reviewers who get your characters’ names wrong and think your heroine’s a wimp. About checks that take ages to come and the torture of watching someone in a bookstore pick up your book, glance contemptuously at the cover, and throw it back down like litter. About how writing your second book is more terrifying than your first, and how writing your seventh book is more terrifying than your sixth. The fear of running out of contract and never writing again.
I don’t remember hearing that advice. But I suspect that’s because I wanted to be published so, so much, that no possible prospect of pain could put me off. I heard about all of the pain and I smiled widely and I lived in happy hope.
I want this baby even more.
Bye bye perky breasts. Hello big wide smile.
No related posts.
They’re absolutely right about all of it. I had a horrible pregnancy followed by 37 hours of labor that ended in a c-section and a beautiful – HUGE 10 lb baby girl. My perky breasts are a thing of the past, I’m still tired all the time (my DD is seven!) and I’d do it all again.
Enjoy! You’ll never be sorry you did.
Some things are worth all the sleepless nights, overlooked housework, fast food and neglected health.
Getting published is just one of them.
Pah.
Pregnant women seem to bring out a sadistic streak in some females. They haul out horrendous personal agonies, old wives’ tales and series of stereotypes.
Pregnancy will not, I repeat not, necessarily ruin your breasts or your figure.
Comparing it to publishing and the happy hope is an excellent analogy and an interesting insight.
Congrats! I had my son 2 years ago and I wouldn’t trade him for anything! The aches and pains go with it (and I imagine continue until the child is officially out of your house) but the end result is amazing!!
My advice — ask for an epidural asap!
Aw, congratulations!
So funny — I never would have made the comparison between giving advice to unpublished writers and giving it to newly pregnant moms-to-be, but you’re right! This?
I don’t remember hearing that advice. But I suspect that’s because I wanted to be published so, so much, that no possible prospect of pain could put me off. I heard about all of the pain and I smiled widely and I lived in happy hope.
I want this baby even more.
Very true. Happy baby bump!
LOL. About all of it.
You write a book, it’s agony and like pulling teeth and you’re shocked that it’s just so hard.
You’re pregnant. You’re sick, you’re tired, and you never realized you’d feel this way.
You give birth – to a book AND a baby.
Suddenly, all the agony and all the pain of both are forgotten as you stare at that gorgeous little face/beautiful cover that is so much a part of YOU. And you know you’ll do it over and over and over again (well, maybe just one or two overs with the baby thing, LOL).
Excellent analogy Julie, and believe me the rewarding moments outweight the bad by a kajillion percent.
Congratulations on your pregnancy. It feels great not to have to hold in your stomach for 9 months!
You’re about to begin the most wonderful journey, and yes, it’s sometimes hard, but consider this – if you didn’t have the grueling hike to the top of a mountain, you would never see the breathtaking views and your world would be a little smaller.
Good Luck
~ Wylie Kinson
Ah, phooey! Speaking as someone who had her first baby 7 months ago–it’s really not that bad. Yeah, there are night feedings–so what? They don’t last forever. Neither does the sleep deprivation. But the thrill of being a mom, of having that baby smile at you the first time–now that’s something you can treasure. (Um, kind of like that first publishing contract!)
Congratulations on your little bump!
It’s a very cute bump! Enjoy you’re pregnancy, iy really is the most amazing feeling having that baby growing inside you.
I’m raising my coffee mug here, babies and books!
Firstly – congratulations, Julie, on your baby bump! So exciting…
Secondly, the moment some women spot a first-time mom-to-be, they feel compelled to pull out every sort of war story about pregnancy/childbirth in their arsenal (I used to swear they could see me coming from several miles away, LOL).
Like any right of passage, becoming a mother for the first time seems like an invitation for advice from those who have “gone before”. I used to console myself by thinking, “It’s an ancient tribal custom…like all the women in the village clustering around in support of the female initiate.”
Fortunately, I also have a mother who bore eight children of her own and helped raise two “Fresh Air” kids from NYC as well. She’d always remind me that the process of pregnancy and childbirth in itself is magical – and while challenging, if it was that awful, the population would have died out centuries ago (particulary in the days before any kind of effective medicinal aids).
I had one child before I was published and got pregnant with the second the same month I got “The Call” (a celebratory baby, perhaps
)…getting published and having a baby are both exciting events…and while getting published may be more rare, having a baby is far more wonderful (IMHO, of course).
Congrats to you again, and don’t let the ladies who love to tell horror-stories about anything childbirth and child-rearing-related get you dowm.
Hope I’ll get to see you (and your bump) in Atlanta!
Best Wishes,
Mary Reed McCall
PS, I was 8 months pregnant with said second child at RWA National in Washington DC in 2000…you’re going to have a wonderful time (and probably lots of requests for tummy pats)!
Lol, nice analogy. As uncomfortable as both experiences can be it’s all worth it in the end.
eh… you hear about the negative stuff. Sleepless nights. How much your life is going to change. Say good bye to private time, sex, etc etc etc…
You hardly ever hear about…
How it feels to hold that newborn for the very first time. There are no words to describe the sheer wonder, the sheer awe, the sheer joy of it. I still look at my babies and thank God every single for them.
You don’t hear about how fun it is to watch them discover their feet, or their hands, or how much fun it is to splash in the bathtub and get mommy wet.
You don’t hear about sweet little things like baby kisses and hugs.
As to the perky breasts… you don’t have to lose all the perk. A good support bra does wonders even if you do decide to nurse, as well as developing a normal workout routine just for your pecs. But perky or not… there’s also nothing like holding your baby and nursing her.
Some of the happiest moments in my life come from these memories. I wouldn’t trade a single moment of mommyhood for all the well rested nights in the world.
And since I’m currently sleepless, exhausted and nuts from nursing and feeding and changing my third… I can speak from very very recent experience. she’s all of 4 weeks old…
Well, I can’t really add anything to the comments you ladies have left–except to say thank you for the congratulations, and thank you for sharing your joy. Writing this post made me very happy–and reading the comments has made me even happier.
Anybody got some ice cream?
Julie! I didn’t know you were pregnant! I’m sooo thrilled for you and even more excited you’re going to be in Atlanta! See you soon and I promise not to ask to pat your tummy, but I definitely want a hug
As far as the horror stories, eh. All the pain and discomfort is soon forgotten and all you remember is the beauty of your babies. Mine are 24 and 27 now and I can still remember every sweet moment of their births and those first years. It’s an amazing journey, just like publishing. *grin*
Girl, you get to eat whatever you want, and wear flowing summer dresses, and won’t have any nasty hangovers…you’ll have the best conference ever!
Um…my boobs didn’t sag…and with BabyBoy it was a two hour labor, plenty of time to order chinese & watch fireworks. No drugs, meant a three day recovery…seriously, I was fine by the end of the weekend. Not that DH knew that for a month. You’ll be fine:mrgreen:
I neglected to congratulate Shiloh! Congratulations!!
Jaci, you’ll get the hug. Mary, I’ll let you pat if you want, as payback. And Jenna–I get to eat WHATEVER I WANT?!?
*zooms off to find Doritos*
Congratulations, Julie, and if you’re lucky, as I was, your breasts will get bigger and never go down again.
See you in Atlanta!
Janet