I love alpha heroes. Not abusive or misogynist “heroes”, but the sweep ‘em off their feet, take all of the oxygen out of the room male. The problem: can the heroine match him?
Sometimes, I think this is the major problem with romances, particularly contemporary romances.
In a historical, you can more easily accept a sweet young innocent as a heroine. Two hundred years ago (for Regency times), that was more of the norm. Also, historicals seem to allow the reader more of the luxury to suspend reality—it’s a whole other world. But contemporaries are set in a world we know. It is harder to accept a heroine who we must judge against our own day by day perceptions.
That judgment tends to be harsh. Why? In real life, we may (and do) stupid things on a regular basis. But we want the heroine to be better than that, we want to see her overcome problems and thus triumph with her. So while we might go downstairs to see what the noise is (no matter how many times we’ve seen Halloween or Scream), we want the heroine to do better—or if it’s a Bombshell, at least be armed to the hilt. Unfortunately, too often, the heroine charged down those stairs with no thought of danger. Why should she be worried, she has the big strong hero to rescue her?
One of the more popular romantic suspense novels of last year dealt with an undercover agent, who was beyond dark. He was absolutely riddled with angst and sexuality. I loved him. But the heroine he was matched with was a naïve waif who stumbled into a situation she was unprepared for. I couldn’t finish the book. The hero and heroine were so mismatched, I couldn’t find the romance. I never had a feeling they would have a happily ever after.
To me, the heroine must have her own strength. She must be a woman who does not need a man to complete her, but wants a man to be her compliment. Her strength should be his weakness; his strength should be her weakness. It is the yin and yang that should be the force that pushes forth the relationship.
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Yes, yes, yes, yes, [b][u]YES.[/u][/b]
You’ve nailed the exact problem I have with many romance novels… the heroine paired with the alpha male is all too often some naive ninny who’s way too stupid to live.
Maybe some romance readers are used to this and tolerate it. I can’t. I grew up reading SFF and never picked up a romance novel till the last couple years. After reading novels with strong female heroines for years, even if they weren’t the main character (and throwing books that just had damsels for the male MC’s ego stroking pleasure against the wall) … it’s not something I’ve been able to get used to.
“She must be a woman who does not need a man to complete her, but wants a man to be her compliment. Her strength should be his weakness; his strength should be her weakness.”
Yes, I really like this definition. And of course the ’strengths’ don’t have to be physical. They can be intellectual, emotional etc. But I think there must also be something which they have in common, which makes a connection between them. Otherwise, you just end up with ‘they’re opposites, they fight each other, they stop fighting each other, it’s LOVE’. And that’s not so convincing either. So I think they need to find something which brings them together (e.g. common purpose/way of seeing the world, common experience (e.g. of being an outsider, of having suffered loss of a parent). At an emotional level they do have to be similar in some ways, or they’d fight the whole time and never understand each other.
“She must be a woman who does not need a man to complete her, but wants a man to be her compliment. Her strength should be his weakness; his strength should be her weakness. It is the yin and yang that should be the force that pushes forth the relationship.”
I love to read about heroines who are like that, and I hope that my heroines turn out like that too.
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If this describes the book that I’m thinking about, it’s a great example about how a book will speak differently to different readers. I absolutely loved this book and thought it was one of the best books that I read last year. To me, the heroine who stumbled in attracted the hero because she represented the light that wasn’t in his life and, even though they began as far away as possible on the spectrum, they grew together.
That said, I agree that, for the romance to work, the characters need the yin-yang to work. It doesn’t need to be there at the beginning, but as they progress through the story and the conflicts, they have to grow together and be what each other needs.
I, too, think I know what book you are referring to, and I did have some problems with the heroine. Once she realized what kind of situation she was in, rather than leave immediately, she became nosey, which got her in a lot of trouble. Which did annoy me to no end. Even so, I ended up really loving the book, so I suppose I have no reason to complain on that particular instance.
But I do hate modern heroines who don’t live up to their alpha-male heroes. My problem is that a lot of times I just don’t get why the hero would fall in love with such a woman. If she’s not much more than a limp piece of lettuce who looks really hot, it’s hard for me to understand how his feelings would ever move beyond lust and into love.
I read That Book and rather liked it. I rationalized the rather naïve behavior of the heroine by reminding myself that I had read the blurb on the back of the book and knew I was reading a romantic suspense spy story. The heroine had not read the blurb and correctly did not realize that she was living in a romantic suspense spy story. Worked for me.
For the record, it does seem to me that in order to form a successful long term relationship with an opinionated, strong-willed man, a woman should have a distinctive personality of her own. I think the sweet compliant type would just become a doormat.
What Sandy has described is exactly the problem I’m having with my current read. The hero is very Alpha. He drips machisimo (that sounds kind of dirty doesn’t it?). Anyway – what type of heroine is he paired with? The kind who sacrifices everything for her loser brother and loser parents. Essentially she’s a doormat who won’t stand up for herself. To top it off, she’s insecure about her looks.
It’s just not working for me, and given that this is a contemporary it’s really, really not working for me.
I’ve always said that Alpha males weren’t my favorite type of hero. Now I wonder if my problem isn’t with Alphas, but with the women they are paired with……
AMEN, Sandy! ::::applauds:::: I really HATE damsel-in-distress books of all kinds, but hate in particular when the h and H are mismatched as you described. What does SHE have to offer HIM?
Great post, Sandy! I love strong heroines. And your quote is a keeper.
Totally agree, Sandy. The doormat heroines are turn offs. A strong hero needs a strong heroine.
And here I was worried about my strong heroine and her alpha male. Thank you.
I don’t mind innocent heroines. I do mind heroines whose stupidity is attributed to their innocence, rather than to childish wilfulness and plain stupidity.
[...] Wow! A Romancing the Blog article I totally agree with (surprise, surprise). Actually, Sandy Oakes does an excellent job of pinpointing one of the greatest turn-offs in romances–when the hero and the heroine don’t match up. She says: To me, the heroine must have her own strength. She must be a woman who does not need a man to complete her, but wants a man to be her compliment. Her strength should be his weakness; his strength should be her weakness. It is the yin and yang that should be the force that pushes forth the relationship. [...]
Bullseye! I think I shall post your last paragraph right next to my computer.
The one thing I would add is that the sweet young innocent of historical novels should still bring her own strengths to the relationship. Perhaps she teaches the cynical hero that the world is not all evil, that there is life and light and joy to be found. Or maybe her trusting nature helps him overcome a past failure. And so on. But she can by no means be a limp, lifeless, unchanging limpet of a human. (Okay, the one way that I’ll allow that in a heroine is if by the end of the novel she has changed, strengthened, become her own person and a worthy partner , not prize, for the hero.)
I rationalized the rather naïve behavior of the heroine by reminding myself that I had read the blurb on the back of the book and knew I was reading a romantic suspense spy story. The heroine had not read the blurb and correctly did not realize that she was living in a romantic suspense spy story.
Bwah! Great point!
I’m reading That Book right now, as a matter of fact — I have about two chapters to go, I think — and I’m loving it. I think the unreality of her situation was one of the things that kept her where she was initially — after what she suffered at the hands of one of the villains, I don’t think she had any doubts that her previous behavior was rash and naive.
Great points, though, Sandy, about heroines living up to their alpha heroes.
To me, the heroine who stumbled in attracted the hero because she represented the light that wasn’t in his life and, even though they began as far away as possible on the spectrum, they grew together.
And a very big yes to this.
Brilliant post, Sandy. I think also that sometimes (only sometimes), uber-alpha heroes get a bad rap, not because they are in fact “abusive or misogynist” but because the heroine is so weak, she makes him seem that way.
You know, I have always wondered why, generally speaking, I didn’t like the whole Alpha male deal, but every once in a while an Alpha-male character would slip in that I’d end up really liking. You have pinpointed the exact reasoning behind that reaction! The Alpha heroes I enjoyed were paired with strong, vibrant heroines who could match the Alpha-ness of the hero. While naive, pushovers with little character of their own simply made the Alpha-male character less appealing to me. Wonderful observation!
Very good post, Sandy.
In a historical, you can more easily accept a sweet young innocent as a heroine.
Only to a point. Really. Personally, I’ve always preferred exceptionally strong heroines in historicals. That doesn’t mean they’re necessarily kick-but they can be, depending on the story. Usually it’s enough if they can simply go toe-to-toe with the hero in a good argument. Think Stephanie Laurens Cynster brides, of which Honoria and Devil are definitely a matched set. And I’ve always also been partial to Quick’s rather intellectual heroines who tend to run mental circles around her poor heroes, alphas though they are.
In a contemporary, though, it is simply a lot more glaring if she can’t her own, mentally or physically. Although even there physically still isn’t mandatory unless the story truly calls for it. Absolutely, though, she has to be able to stand up for herself. Or learn to. Fast.
I’m totally with you on this. Even historical romance heroines without sufficient backbone don’t hold me past chatper 5. I admit I’m more judgmental with contemporary heroines, too. I guess because I’d really like a romance heroine to act stronger than *I* would in those kinds of situations. It makes me look up to her, respect her and root for her.
Camy
Okay, somewhat off-topic here, but how many of you guys watch the show SUPERNATURAL? There’s a discussion going on right now in the Television Without Pity SN Forum about whether Cassie could have been Dean’s first love. The consensus? Not plausible, because (according to one poster):
Just as background, the character Dean, played by the yummy Jensen Ackles, is a total badass alpha hero. The girl they tried to pair him up with in last Tuesday’s episode was a total ninny. Hence, it left a very sour taste in the viewers’ mouths, once again validating Sandy’s point.
Ditto. Ditto. Ditto. Great post. I loved it and all the comments. Let’s write, ladies!!!!!!!
I completely, 100% agree with you! I hate weak or just plain stupid heroines attached to super strong silent-type heroes. I think that’s why I like Eve Dallas & Roarke so much from the In Death books. She’s as kick butt if not more so than he is. You root for her and love the moments when she lets down her tough exterior.
I’m working on a romantic suspense at the moment and my big fear is that my heroine is an idiot. Thankfully, my friends and CP’s are blunt, so they tell me when I’m going astray.
[...] Also, a GREAT post from Michele Albert on the writing strong heroines in response to a recent RTB post. [...]
I hate it just as much in historicals. Naive heroines are okay there (assuming they were overprotected), but flightly, weak, stupid ones–UGH! If you make your heroine strong, though, you risk her being labeled MEAN because we all know heroines must always be blindly self-sacrificing…