A friend of mine went to a seminar recently where the speaker passed a live mic around to each attendee. Each person was asked to read her novel’s first line. If other participants were intrigued, they were to raise their hands. Yikes!
Now, I personally don’t buy a book based solely on the first line. I buy first and foremost by author. After that, I look for book covers that intrigue me, read the blurb on the back and the first few paragraphs. Then I either buy it or put it back on the shelf.
But as a writer, first lines definitely intrigue me. And they come in all shapes and sizes. Yet what makes one line great and one not so great? I think we’d all agree the purpose of the first sentence in a novel is to raise a question compelling enough to lead the reader to the next sentence and the next and so on. But what separates the ordinary from the extraordinary?
The action packed openers? The prose that paints a picture so profound you don’t want to leave? Dialogue? Or do you like simple statements that go for the shock value?
Here are some of my personal favorites:
“I received a box of flowers from my dead husband.â€
Patti Hill, Like a Watered Garden
“I saw the whole thing from beginning to end, and I pray you note that there aren’t many alive today who can say that.â€
Christina Dodd, Once a Knight
“‘I know marrying the Crown Prince and eventually being queen sounds terrific,’ Daphne Snowden said in what she hoped was a calm I’m-your-aunt-who-loves-you-and-I-know-better voice instead of a shrill panicked voice, ‘but the truth of the matter is very different.’â€
Susan Mallery, The Sheik and the Bride Who Said No
“We were about to give up and call it a night when somebody threw the girl off the bridge.â€
John D. MacDonald, Darker Than Amber
“To some, the members of the bomb squad are more than a little left of normal.â€
Kay David, Not Without Proof
“As I crawled into bed and put my arm around Helen it occurred to me, not for the first time, that there are few pleasures in this world to compare with snuggling up to a nice woman when you are half frozen.â€
James Herriot, All Things Bright and Beautiful
If you are a writer, I thought it might be fun to share the first line of your new release or work in progress. If you’re a reader, you could share a favorite first line from a novel you’ve read. Any takers?
No related posts.
I’m with you, Deeanne–I don’t buy books based on first lines–in fact, usually I don’t even read the first line before I’ve bought it, but I do very much appreciate a good first line.
My favorites:
“The building was on fire and it wasn’t my fault.” –Jim Butcher, Blood Rites
“It rained toads the day the White Council came to town.” –Jim Butcher, Summer Knight Heck, most of the Dresden Files have great first lines, or at least great first paragraphs.
“She woke in the body of a dead friend.” –Nora Roberts, Carolina Moon
“It’s hard to meet nice guys when you sell sex toys for a living.” –Alesia Holliday, Nice Girls Finish First
“When I am in one of my philosophical moods, I am inclined to wonder whether all families are as difficult as mine.” –Elizabeth Peters, The Golden One
“Sam Vimes sighed when he heard the scream, but he finished shaving before he did anything about it.” –Terry Pratchett, Night Watch
I suspect first lines are an art form, not unlike the ability to write a great blurb. The best ones give you the author’s voice, a hint of what the book’s about, and some of the character’s personality.
Frex, from the Butcher quotes, I know that Harry’s a smartass & prone to getting in trouble of a supernatural sort, and that the book is likely about that trouble.
Just so there’s no pressure on the authors, though, I don’t think that a great first line is necessary for a great book, and I’m quite sure there have been plenty of books I’ve read with great first lines that kind of fizzled out.
For the current WIP: “Nikki hid beside the garage in the bushes, waiting for the coast to be clear.”
For the WIP under revision: “Harold exhaled and reached for the secure Voice Over Internet Protocol phone.”
For my first, awaiting time to revise properly: “”… pleased to accept your research project proposal.” I think this one, like the novel, needs work.
I’m an absolute first-line-slut. I love ‘em and will buy a book on the strength of a good one – but only if the rest of the paragraph sings like the first line.
Not sure mine have measured up to my own standards *ggg* but here they are:
Layover: “See, she’s just like you. The Queen of Disposable Men.”
Coffee, Tea or Lea?: Coop Masterson, federal air marshal and Lea Harding’s worst nightmare, barreled up the airplane aisle, nine millimeter drawn and aimed, at her.
Miss Behavior (coming in December): Lorna Merryfield’s jaw slackened as the tiny maroon and white airplane buzzed down to earth and taxied jauntily over to the empty terminal where she sat, at Morey Field.
Darla, I agree that first lines are an art form. I have many floating in my head from great books I’ve read. There’s something so exciting about a good one. It holds so much promise.
Happy Sunday, all! ~Ann
Okay, Ill play along. The first line from the novel being submitted is:
“I never knew my father. He died when I was an infant; I have neither photographs of him, nor faded memories.”
And, the first line from my WIP is:
“Imbolc, the festival of the goddess Brigit had passed. The late February air was turning warmer and the early morning fog lay like a hesitant lover above the ground.”
First lines, and first paragraphs are tough. I have to write the full and then go back to the beginning, often several times. I’m certain mine don’t measure up to the firsts of most of the folks on this board, but here they are, such as they are:
The first of my MS with a full currently under consideration by a (great)agent:
Dancing in the moonlight with a faerie can be hazardous to your future.
The first of the sequel:
Colt’s nude form dangled from a pole in the center of the ballroom dance floor.
His golden arousal kept tempo with the sharp staccato beats of the tribal drums as it throbbed it’s desperate craving against his taut abdomen.
The first of my WIP:
“Sex lessons? You want me to give your sister sex lessons?†Boz asked, his tone of voice rising with each word, so that he was screaming by the end of his query.
The first of my first:
The big brother’s gut churned with rage. Every protective instinct urged him to choke the life out of the lecherous bastard who wanted to become his sister’s lover. He had to resist the urge because it is a near physical impossibility to choke yourself to death. So he seethed with impotent rage, even as he burned with potent craving.
Oh well, why not.
“He watched her stride down the airport concourse. Black it was, just as she had said: black boots, black pants, black leather jacket, black scarf – covering some but not all of that extraordinary hair. She towed black leather luggage and carried a black travel case.
Tres chic, he thought, but she walks like a warrior…”
What fun!
“Dora Lee Morrison finally realized her marriage was over the day she experienced a true bonding moment with the dead tarpon mounted on her husband’s wall.” (Key of Sea, Aug. 2005)
“The more miles down I-95 South that Angelica Van Decklin drove, the more clothes she shed.” (Current w-ip)
For me, the all-time classic first line is from Gone with the Wind. “Scarlet O’Hara was not beautiful, but men seldom realized it when as caught by her charms as the Tarleton twins.”
I attended a workshop where they asked you to do that. I remember that some attendees had pretty amazing opening lines. I remember being nervous about sharing my own. I’m feeling brave today. I’ll take the challenge.
“Declined.” (Jinxed, March 2004)
“The Princess is in danger.” (Charmed, December 2004)
“Snake dead ahead. (Seduced, June 2005)
“It finally happened.” (Current WIP)
Jeesh. I’m seeing a pattern here.
Okay, here’s one of my recent favorites as a reader.
“Just because I know how to change a guy’s oil doesn’t mean I want to spend the rest of my life on my back, staring up at his undercarriage.” (Metro Girl, Janet Evanovich)
Fun post, Deeanne. Thanks!
I’ll play – from The Cinderella Substitute out in July 06 from Moonlit Romance – “Nate jabbed the buzzer on his desk for the third time. Where the hell was Jenni?”
from Marrying Max out in July 06 from Peoples Friend Story Collection – “Nate stared at the house, then back down at the sheet of paper in his hand. He couldn’t possibly be in the right place.”
from Things to do – chicklit single title – “Things to do,try on costume, wax my legs, book a taxi, kill my sister.”
Oh, y’all! These are FABULOUS! What a talented bunch we have. I’m sooooo glad you are giving titles and release dates. Now, I need to make a run to the bookstore!
Keep ‘em comin’, girls!
Ooooh, that’s fun!
First line from the ms currently under consideration:
“The man was walking the ramparts while unseeing eyes followed his progress.”
One of my most favourite first lines ever is from Dorothy Dunnett’s THE DISORDERLY KNIGHTS:
“On the day that his grannie was killed by the English, Sir William Scott the Younger of Buccleuch was at Melrose Abbey, marrying his aunt.”
And some more lovely examples from Pratchett-books:
“Now read on …” (LORDS & LADIES)
“Everything starts somewhere, although many physicists disagree.” (HOGFATHER)
“Some things start before other things.” (THE WEE FREE MEN)
My daughter came home from school aged about eight, with the first line of a story that I’d have loved to read: ‘Tom was my best friend, but nobody liked him.’
I’d agree about Pratchett – I think he consistently does good beginnings & ends. So one more: ‘They say that the prospect of being hanged in the morning concentrates a man’s mind wonderfully; unfortunately what the mind inevitably concentrates on is that it is in a body that, in the morning, is going to be hanged.’ [Going Postal]
And the other one I always quote is from Laurie R King’s ‘The Beekeeper’s Apprentice’ – I don’t think I’ve ever been so convinced I’d love a book after reading only the first paragraph.
‘I was fifteen when I first met Sherlock Holmes, fifteen years old with my nose in a book as I walked across the Sussex Downs and nearly stepped on him.’
Ok, I’m game.
Here’s some of my first paragraphs.
Storm over Hadrian’s Wall
Cailthearn stood amidst the carnage. His grip on the sword relaxed and the point slowly sank towards the ground; a few drops of blood splashing on the wet earth. He blinked the sweat out of his eyes and looked around. The battle was over.
The Charioteer
Ciaran vic Cairpre awoke to the sound of iron clashing. In near darkness, he jumped out of the bed, belted his tunica and groped for the sword he had left on the chest beside the bedstead. The tiled floor felt cold under his bare feet but he did not waste time to lace the sandals. He snatched a small round shield from the wall and opened the door to the torchlit inner yard of the villa, scanning the scene.
Endangered Frontiers
“I’m not selling you a book, filthy barbarian.” The shopkeeper laid his pudgy hands on the polished oakwood counter, shoving aside a partly unrolled parchment scroll in the process. He leaned forward. “The firm of Apollonius Burrus is used to deal with patricians. You can’t even read, I bet.”
Kings and Rebels (in need of revision
)
In the midst of the skirmish, surrounded by the metallic clash of weapons, crying men and squealing horses, the leaders beheld one another at the same instant: the Norseman Kjartan Haraldsson, his blond hair swelling from under the helmet stringy with sweat, his crimson cloak torn, and Roderic Sinclair, the dark-haired Scot in a green surcoat over mail.
For other writers’ openings, here is a link to an old blog entry of mine, a riddle I posted back in August.
There’s still three open guesses, btw, so if anyone wants to give it a shot, got for it.
go for it
Dangit, where’s that typo demon a-hidin’ this time?
This is cool. Here’s the first line of my suspense ms:
Alice Chieko Matsusaki died last week. It should have caused rejoicing in every corner of the San Francisco Bay area.
It was making Erika Fong’s day miserable.
Here are a few I especially like:
The vagrant came to the back door the night of Morton Traynell’s funeral, just as Dinah was trying to organize food for the hundred or so mourners who filled the front rooms of hte old farmhouse.
–POCKETFUL OF PEARLS by Shelley Bates
Christina McIntyre. Good. She still knew her own name.
Arms, legs, fingers and— She wiggled her toes. Good. Still intact.
She opened her eyes slowly, blinking, carefully, trying to focus.
The cabin. Timmons Trail. She knew where she was.
Why was she on the floor?
–WOUNDED HEALER by Donna Fleisher
Bad hair ruined my life.
–SHE’S ALL THAT by Kristin Billerbeck
“Yes!” I slam the phone back in its cradle, sending the dog skittering across the kitchen floor. “Don’t worry, Daisy. You’re not in trouble–this time! But don’t think I don’t know about your midnight raids in the kitchen trash. What do you think gives you the kind of gas that clears a room?”
–DYING TO DECORATE by Cyndy Salzmann
Camy
One of mine:
“I’ve never been certain I’m human.”
MERCY KILLING – Toni Lea Andrews
One I just read in a MS I’m judging for an un-pubbed contest:
“It sucks to be me.â€
THE ONES -Anonymous contestant
I love first lines. I admit, they capture my attention and make me read on. Even if I don’t end up buying the book, I always appreciate them and remember the author’s name.
The first line of my ms under construction:
“Do you want to have sex again?â€
Fun post.
From my WIP that’s currently making the agent submission rounds:
“He called himself an angel, but looking at him I had my doubts.” (Where Angels Fear to Tread)
From my current, unfinished WIP (posting the first line and then the second paragraph because I think (hope!) the second is just as attention grabbing):
“I died for the first time that night.
“The investigation started out normally enough, but when masked men dressed like extras in a Bruce Lee movie burst into the room brandishing automatic weapons even an idiot could have predicted that someone was about to meet a Very Bad End. Unfortunately, that someone turned out to be me.” (Reborn in Fire)
Both are paranormal romance/urban fantasy.