When the time came to sign my name on the dotted line, I never really considered using a pseudonym. Oh sure, I had an in-depth, responsible discussion with my husband about the pros and cons. But I was just humoring him. I didn’t wait my entire life to see my name on the cover of a book just to have a book with somebody else’s name on it.
Most of the people I talk to regularly know I write romance. Most even know I write erotic romance. The support ranges from “Oh, isn’t that nice?” in that voice—you know the one—to wild enthusiasm from a woman who loves me enough to cheer for me even though she knows what I write would offend her horribly. And, to be honest, most of the people I “know” are online. I don’t get out very much. (They don’t let you bring Dunkin Donuts iced coffees anywhere nowadays.) So I’m somewhat accustomed to people being aware that I write, as well as what I write.
I forgot about my children.
Not that I have them, but how very much they like to spill things about their mother to random people for no reason.
The short kid’s teacher: I hear you write! Are you published?
Me: Ummm…yes. Yes, I am.
Teacher: What do you write? Can I read it?
Me: (facing lovely woman and a classroom full of innocent little angels) It’s…ummm…romance.
Teacher: I love romances.
Me: It has…well, it has a lot of really naughty words in it.
The tall kid mentioned to his friend that I was writing a book, who then mentioned it to his parents, who then asked me about it. The lovely older ladies at the library knitting group who were knitting pretty little gifts for their grandbabies and asking me about my book because they love romances. My sister called me on the morning it released and told me my aunt who lives in the Midwest was standing by with credit card in hand waiting for it to go live. I think I may have actually begged my sister to stop her.
The absolute worst:
Dad: So where can I get your book?
Me: What? Papa, you can’t read it. It’s…you know…no.
Dad: I’m an adult, you know.
Me: I’m still your daughter. Trust me, Papa. Don’t go there.
I wrote the book, and I’m very proud of it. But I realized after the book news was out that the people I’m used to socializing with daily are aware that Twice Upon A Roadtrip is an erotic romance. They know that, being an Ellora’s Cave book, it has explicit sex and really naughty words in it. I forgot about all the people I know casually here in my town. My small town. My small, New England town filled with people whose ancestors are just waiting for an excuse to roll over. (My own ancestors are just plain tuckered out from the spinning.)
I didn’t see the caveats in my future. I didn’t imagine standing red-face and stammering in the grocery store with an acquaintance in front of my children, trying to explain that yes, the stay-at-home mom next door wrote a book with F, C & P words in it. And I can’t hide. Stick a dot com after my name and BAM! Next thing you know nobody’s allowed to play at that Stacey boy’s house anymore. His mother said that word in a book. (That hasn’t actually happened yet, but I’m honestly a little nervous about it.)
I love seeing my name on my cover. I can’t deny that. But there are moments when I wish I’d taken a pen name and not told anybody what it was. Dad would never think to look for Ezmerelda Neidaschnitzel.
No related posts.
I understand your problem, Shannon. I really do! (you might have read my post of two weeks agon Monday) My kids blab to everybody that I am a writer, and I’m not even published yet. I hold my breath and think, “Ho Boy — here it comes…”
I didn’t use the F, C & P words, but you certainly know what body parts are active in which scenes!
Stand proud, Girlfriend You are published, you’ve made it. Now, hurry up and write more!
The worst? My minister knows I write. I know when the day comes that he can buy a book with my name on the front…*cringe*…he WILL!
Shannon–it’s not to late to change your real name
I already have relatives googling me and I’m pretty sure any romance I write will be under a pseudonym.
M
I use a nom de plume but everyone knows what it is
I dunno. Stephen King was using the female “c” word when it was an insult. Plenty of male writers do. Why do women have to worry so much? Cuz nice girls don’t have them (or use them)? Burns my butt!
I use a nom de plume but everyone knows what it is
So, no help there.
I dunno. Stephen King was using the female “c” word when it was an insult. Plenty of male writers do. Why do women have to worry so much? Cuz nice girls don’t have them (or use them)? Burns my butt!
I hate it when that happens.
Shannon, I sympathize with you. I don’t write erotic romance, but I use the F, C & P words in my books, too. (the F&C words are usually spoken by my villain, but not always.) My husband works in the State Capitol and we know a lot of people across the political spectrum. It’s going to be interesting if some of them actually read my book.
I told my kids that the books at Rated R. They can read them when they’re 18. (Of course, too-smart-for-her-own-good daughter #1 reminded me that when she’s 17 she can see a Rated R movie without me.)
It’s not only the sex scenes, but the subject matter. I have violence and death and one of my books is about child abduction and sexual predators. Not stuff I want my kids reading about.
Be proud that you’ve become one of the few to see her book in print and know that you have friends out there.
Trust me, pen name or not, they’d still find you.
Enjoy your notoriety and be proud of what you write. Good, quality romances, regardless of the words in there. It’s a great book Shan and you’re a fabulous writer.
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I never worried about it, because everybody knew what I wrote long before I got published. Whenever I worry about shocking somebody, I just remind myself what’s on TV now. A passionate, loving relationship is a good thing to show the world, really!
LOL! This is hysterical. Especially the part about your father reading your stuff.
I haven’t experienced this for a published book, but I’m already aware of that squirmy feeling because my mother has given out my blog address to some of my old high school friends. I cringe knowing what they’ve read and how they are probably saying “That Lynn was such a goody-goody, nice girl in high school. Who ever knew she was thinking *those* thoughts!”
Plus, some of my husband’s friends read my blog and will mention to him “Hey, I read what Lynn said about you on her blog” to which the hubby comes looking at me with no small amount of accusation.
I’m thinking maybe Violette Felicite might be a good name for me…
Geez, I hadn’t thought of it that way. I wanted a pseudonym because I hate my name. That is pretty amusing. I can imagine the looks you will be getting.
If you truly believe in what you’re writing, you have to be willing to stand up for it. Even if that means smiling sweetly while you tell people who don’t mean as much as the those you love that yes, you write erotic romances, and by definition they are deliciously naughty. It means explaining to the children that yes, mommy writes books, but for grown ups – end of discussion (or as close as one can come to ending discussions with kids:wink:). The pastor doesn’t pay your bills, and neither does the grocery clerk, dead ancestors, small town pee-bodies or anyone else willing to form an oppinion, so for the love of squash, DON’T feel ashamed because you have a talent with words!
As far as your Dad goes, he’ll be proud of you no matter what you write. The fact he’s asking to read your work, knowing that its explicit enough to make you want to ‘protect’ him, is a very endearing sign. Besides, if you have kids, he’s well aware that you know about, and regularly have sex – let him read it.
LOL! I don’t have kids, but I do remember vividly when my two aunts (ages 76 and 84 respectively) asked me to send them my books. I tried to talk them out of it, but they refused. I seriously considered blacking out the words. I did warn them, but still.:oops:
Jaci is SO right. They will find you! LOL! Be proud Shannon. You’ve met your dream writing a romance with a HEA.
I use a pseudonym, but my middle son is so proud of me he tells everyone my name–and he’s only in junior high. Urgh. He just didn’t get that they’re ADULT books. At least he can tell them about my YAs under a different name!
Shannon, I know wexactly where you’re coming from.
Yes, I’m proud of what I write, however I know some people could give me grief. I volunteer at my daughter’s school… if some people knew, they could try to make that difficult. I don’t think the school would do anything, but it would still cause needless tention.
And my minister… hmmmm… well, i’m just REALLY glad I decided to go with a pen name. Nope, not ashamed of what I write, but there are some instances where the other party is just better off in the dark.
Main reason I chose a pen name was because I’m weird about my privacy. Some people, I’d just as soon them not know what I write. I can only imagine some of the questions…:???:
I actually did joke with my husband about taking a pseudonym for “real life”. Since he was the one actually born with the name, he naturally resisted.
It’s not about shame, really. It’s more about awkwardness. I feel a need, because I don’t know the reading habits of these people really, to warn them.
The people I do know, I’m okay with. Some people have been wicked supportive, but won’t buy the book, and that’s okay. Some, like my sister, bought it, but probably won’t read it. And some love it. So it’s a comfortable situation.
But in trying to explain to people who want to read the book but have no idea how far sexually explicit romance has come, it gets awkward. Those are the exact situations I could have avoided with a pseudonym.
Maybe from now on when people ask I’ll tell them I write as Jaci Burton. *ggg* Oh, wait…she has a picture on her site, damn her.
I think it will balance itself out in the long run. There are several people who used to ask me about my writing, but no longer do. I figure those are the ones who aren’t really comfortable with what I write, and that’s okay. On the other hand, there are rumors of an impending Barnes & Noble in our town, which might make me a little more public.
And hey, for all I know, the knitting grammy may have the entire EC print collection in the bottom of her knitting basket.
Sorry, Shannon, but that name is already taken.
Teacher: What do you write? Can I read it?
Been there, done that. My daughter’s teacher last year was thrilled to meet a newly published author and wanted me to come in and speak to the class. I really didn’t feel it would be appropriate – as much as I’d love to talk to the kids about the joy of writing, how would their parents feel if they Googled me and found out an erotic romance novelist was holding a career day in 4th grade? Yikes. I politely declined. I write under both my own name and my pseudonym, for the same reason – I wanted to see MY name in print. Now that I’ve done that, I will probably concentrate on my altar ego’s career more. My relatives have read my book – including an 80-year-old aunt who said she loved it, even though she skipped over some of the ‘ahem’ spicier parts.
Older people know those words and how those parts work. Why wouldn’t they be interested in reading about it as well? As for ministers, they’re people too. I think it’s fair to warn them about content (just in case), but adults make their own choices, and it isn’t our place to determine for them what they would and wouldn’t enjoy. Do we really know? Or are we stereotyping them due to our own insecurities and outdated childhood impressions?
I, too, live in a small town. My kids know I write adult romances(a few years ago I told them there was kissing and stuff so they couldn’t read my stories, and they all said ‘eeww’).
I write under my maiden name, and don’t advertise it around work much, though my boss and asst boss both want to read my stuff when it comes out.
I’m not ashamed of what I write, or secretly think it is immoral or anything like that, I just don’t think my kids(who are all in middle school) should have to be involved in defending my choices. In a very small town a degree of separation can make life easier for my kids.
Well, one of my parents (yes, I teach) told one of my students my nom de plume!:shock:
He really loved my website–of course he’s 13! I denied it was me to the child, all the while slipping the parent my card:grin:
Shannon, I understand how you feel, but it’s not like what kind of book it is is HIDDEN. They’ll go look, they’ll see the cover, they’ll read the blurb, and they’ll decide for themselves. It does both them and yourself a disservice to try to guess whether it’s their type of book or not.
As for ministers…all of the ones I’ve known would LOVE reading it.
They’re human, after all!
That’s okay Shan. Go into my website and slip your pic in there instead of mine.
*snicker*
Anything for you babe
LOL, Shannon. If it makes you feel any better, I write Inspirational and a man (who writes *literary* novels) asked if my book had sex in it.
I told him, yes, it did.
His eyebrows shot up. “Can you *do* that?”
I grinned. “Well, I don’t know about you, but *I* sure can!”:wink:
Of course, my characters do the deed behind closed doors, but the impertinence of his question made me so mad I didn’t tell him that.
Ah, the joys of romance writing.
P.S. If your pastor asks you to sign your book for him, in the inscription you could write:
“Dear Pastor So-And-So,
I thank you in advance for your prayers and please don’t read pages:
[[list pages]].”:wink:
That town sounds like an extremely conservative one. I didn’t think there were any left
I love this post – it’s great!
I will have a pen name, and my books aren’t anywhere near EC, but I teach. Plus, my name is misspelled ALL the TIME.
Shannon–my relatives really surprised me by their acceptance of my work. I started out writing sweet Silhouette Romances, so I readily passed my author copies around to members of my family–some of whom are very religious and conservative. But then I started writing for Silhouette Desire. Not quite as steamy as Ellora’s Cave, but quite enough to shock my mother, I thought. So I sent her a copy, wrapped in brown paper, and warned her that there was explicit, premarital sex so she didn’t have to read it if she didn’t want to.
She did read it–and then she took it to the library where she worked, laminated the cover, set it out on the front desk, and loaned it to all her little-old-lady friends. And my sister, the ex-nun? Wanted more of those red-cover books and actually subscribed to the line!