Comments on: How Could I Marry This Guy?

By: Anne E.

Anne E. — Wed, 21 Sep 2005 22:53:33 +0000

Don’t give up on him! My ex- came from a non-reading home and when we started living together I told him that my reading time was sacred — he could read with me or find something else to do when I read. He decided to read. He borrowed my son’s sci and fantasy books (which continued to be his reading of choice over the next 20 years that we were together). Within a year or so he was reading at least one-two books a week and loving it.

When we divorced, he told me something that really touched me: he said that my “forcing” him to read had made all the difference in his life. He was a better person than he would have been had I not opened the world of books for him. And, no, it didn’t make me feel any better at the time, but after 7 years I realize he meant it in the sincere way.

By: Linda

Linda — Wed, 21 Sep 2005 15:28:59 +0000

I think it’s important to give your kids the opportunity to become readers by putting books into their hands and reading to them. But let them read what appeals to them. Some people simply aren’t interested in reading stories. My boys both read a lot, but rarely read novels. They prefer to get their storytelling from movies and TV shows. I think the important thing is that they can read what they need to in order to do their jobs, their college assignments, and write their blogs.

And–LOL at Bernita. I can relate!!

By: Kaitlin

Kaitlin — Wed, 21 Sep 2005 01:32:02 +0000

Ah, this one touches a place in my heart. I come from a mother who LOVES to read & she passed it down to me. My brother is ambivalent when it comes to books and might read a book a decade if it’s something he’s interested in. I remember being 8 and my mom taking me to the library because I was bored & wanted to read something. She introduced me to the world of Betsy, Tacy, and Tib. I read anything I could get my hands on and I look at my brother and wonder where he was spawned.
Getting into the writing/reading community has been a wonder for me because I see there are other readers just like me. Thank you for a great column.

By: Miriam Kriss

Miriam Kriss — Tue, 20 Sep 2005 20:00:34 +0000

I work in publishing, can get books for free, still spend more on books than on clothes and despite that my boyfriend has four times as many bookshelves in the appartment as me. But the key maybe that many of mine are mass market paperbacks and his are tradepaperback graphic novels. In other words, he started reading things that guys like to read and he started early.
One suggestion I’d make for your son is to check out http://www.guysread.com. Jon Scieszka, author of the very guy friendly Time Warp Trio books, has put together a resource of boys books, things that skew towards young male readers and let them like reading. I read an interview he did on Bookslut a while back (http://www.bookslut.com/features/2005_06_005714.php) and it really made a lot of sense to me. Afterall, men and women aren’t built the same and thank God for that.

By: Karen Templeton

Karen Templeton — Tue, 20 Sep 2005 16:24:23 +0000

Hmm. . .I’ve always been a voracious reader. But because of early reading difficulties, my husband didn’t like to read until his college years. He’s still a slow reader, but he always has a book going — sometimes fiction, more often a biography or history. Both of our mothers are avid readers. However, four of our five kids HATE to read, despite our reading to them when they were young, despite the example we set. So not only can parents not force their kids to become readers, apparently not even encouragement works if the kid isn’t wired that way.

And I do think a lot of it has to do with that wiring. Very active people might chafe at having to sit still long enough to read a whole book, but magazines, newspapers, short articles are fine. People who have trouble processing aurally wouldn’t even be able to listen to audio books (I can’t — if I can’t see it, I don’t “hear” it).

An interesting sidenote: The one kid, now grown, who does enjoy reading actually had the most difficulty with reading comprehension in school. But his love of the written word actually helped him to overcome the challenge. The “gifted” ones, by contrast, are the most resistent to reading and find it “boring” — and believe me, we tried every kind of book/story imaginable to jumpstart them.

As far as we can see, either it clicks or it doesn’t. It’s the old horse-to-water thing, I guess.

By: sherryfair

sherryfair — Tue, 20 Sep 2005 15:42:19 +0000

I’m the biblioholic child of a marriage in which this trend of non-reading males seems to have been reversed. My father is the voracious reader. He’s always got a novel going, thrown into the car or occasionally crammed deep down into his back pocket. (He acquired the habit from my grandmother, from whom I inherited all my broken-spined, aging Georgette Heyer novels.) In that marriage, my mother’s the nonreader, who looks at newspapers and magazines, but only picks up maybe one or two books a year. But I always had a sense, growing up, that books were valued and reading was encouraged.

By: Sela

Sela — Tue, 20 Sep 2005 13:34:56 +0000

I married a non-reader. He’s had a copy of Dean Koontz’s One Door Away From Heaven for months. The only time he does a lot of reading is when he’s traveling or away from home. While he was deployed, for instance, he read several novels, in addition to his car and financial magazines and even recommended one to me.

He also reads when he’s ill. When he was laid up a couple of years ago, he finally made it through the last 3 Clancy novels (which you couldn’t pay me to read), one after the other.

Bless him, though. He noted the latest charge from B&N on the credit card statement and didn’t say a word.

By: Bernita

Bernita — Tue, 20 Sep 2005 12:38:48 +0000

Ha!
You should be glad.
When both are bookaholics, there is nothing approaching normal life. Books are stacked on stairs, on tables, on the floor, on the fridge, and one’s main pursuit in life – besides more books – is more bookshelves…

By: Darla

Darla — Tue, 20 Sep 2005 09:33:13 +0000

I tell my husband he married me under false pretenses. When we were dating, I gave him my favorite book–a 1000+ page tome–and he read it.

Now, he reads one or two books a year, and he reads them a page at a time, like it’s medicine. He was recently alone on a trip to Belgium, and his hotel had TV only in French, which he doesn’t speak or understand. He still watched the TV in preference to reading the book he took along with him.

True, his parents weren’t readers, but then neither were mine. I don’t remember ever seeing either of my parents sitting down with a book for themselves. However, there were always books in our house, we read classics together in the evenings, and books were the standard bribe to make me behave while out shopping, and a weekly trip to the library was a ritual treat.

I was worried that my kids would follow my husband’s footsteps rather than mine, but I have hope. Our oldest resisted tooth & nail until she was no longer living with us. Now at 20, she reads a book or two a week in addition to her schoolwork. I’m crossing my fingers that her siblings follow suit.

By: sarah castleberry

sarah castleberry — Tue, 20 Sep 2005 03:20:51 +0000

Hi – great insight! My husband is very much the same – reads slowly, easily distracted from fiction, parents never read.
My favorite book of all time is The Hiding Place – I’ve made it my goal to get him to read that in my lifetime. It’s even NON-fiction.