“A dirty book is rarely dusty.”
– Author unknown.
There are readers who say they don’t read mainstream romance novels for sex, yet they frequently ask for steamy romance recommendations. If they are offered suggestions of kisses-only titles or trad Regency romances, they often claim that these books are ‘boring’.
What is the main attraction of these steamy mainstream historical and contemporary romances they like if it’s not the sex? Story? Characters? Romance? Every reader has her own idea of what makes a good romance novel, but I still think the sexual aspect of mainstream romance novels is a major, if not the main, attraction.
I know some readers [including myself] have complained about how bored they are getting with the rising number of sex scenes in mainstream historical and contemporary romances, but I believe the problem lies with lack of sexual tension–or rather, the weak build-up. But that’s another issue.
My point is there are many readers who deny they are that interested in reading sex scenes in romance novels, yet they regularly ask for steamy mainstream romances.
I don’t really quite understand that. Oh, of course, there are other important factors: characters, plots, the process of falling in love, the development of a relationship, and most of us expect love declarations and such, yet I think many readers consider a well-written sex scene the ultimate emotional pay-off.
Many readers love to discuss memorable sex scenes in mainstream romances during book discussions. Certain infamous sex scenes will crop up, such as these:
- After the Night [the public restroom and the boathouse] – Linda Howard
- All the Queen’s Men [the office] – Linda Howard
- A Well Pleasured Lady [the library] – Christina Dodd
- Kiss of the Beast [the balcony] – Mallory Rush
- To Have and To Hold [the 'cold-blooded' sex scene] – Patricia Gaffney
- Savage Thunder [on a horse's back] – Johanna Lindsey
- Whitney, My Love – Judith McNaught
- A Woman of Virtue [the library] – Liz Carlyle
- Midsummer Magic [cream for lubrication] – Catherine Coulter
These mentions are usually made by readers who deny they are that interested in reading sex scenes in romance novels, yet make it clear that they don’t like the closed door.
But, not many would admit to it. It seems that they want the white picket fence and the multi-orgasmic sex. One just isn’t as satisfying without the other. It makes sense, so why deny?
If we read mainstream romances solely for the development of a relationship and the HEA, then why don’t we read more inspirational romances, traditional Regency romances, literary romantic novels with the HEA, and such?
I think, because there’s considerable cultural pressure to think of sex as dirty and immoral, most readers are reluctant to admit that the sex is as important as the white picket fence.
It may be down to a fact that these readers may feel that, after years of being bombarded with accusations of being sex-starved housewives and the like, admitting to liking sex in mainstream romances may have non-romance readers drawing the age-old comparisons of these romance novels with porn.
Do we feel that, by admitting to liking sex in mainstream romance novels, we are saying we also like erotic romances, erotica, and pornography when we know this is not the case? In a way, it’s understandable.
I mean, a reader who enjoys sex scenes in a typical Sandra Brown or Linda Howard novel may not necessarily be comfortable with the sex scenes in erotic romances, erotica or porn. These are important distinctions, but they’re not always recognised nor respected.
Yes, explicit romance novel sex scenes can be – and, in many cases, are – arousing, but those of us who are attracted to the sexual aspect of romances also want the fantasy of love, commitment and security offered by these novels.
But, wouldn’t it be dishonest to deny liking steamy mainstream romances in public yet read them in private? Why can’t we say that, along with a good story and 3D characters, we like hot sex as well as the white picket fence?
No related posts.
Hi, my name’s Karen, and I like sex in my romance.
I wonder if it’s a cultural thing? I can’t imagine the French having the same kind of reservations as Americans and perhaps us Brits do, when it comes to all things sexual.
It probably also depends on how you were brought up. The women who were brought up believeing that sex is something that should never be discussed in public, are probably not going to admit to reading steamy romances.
I’m sure there are plenty of women out there who publicly speak out against books with particularly erotic scenes in them, (as demonstrated by some Amazon reader reviews) yet go home, find their Rabbit, and discover the benefits of self-pleasure, whilst reading these same books *g*
I think there are many things that contribute to the “bored” feeling some have about too much sex in romance novels. Karen touches on one–how a person is brought up to think about sex, which I think is some what generational, when my mother thinks a book has too much sex, I probably wouldn’t even notice.
Recently, I read two books that both had the h/h relationship consimated after page 300. In one it was too long a wait, the interaction between the character stopped feeling like sexual tension and left me wondering why the author is wasting my time, and yet the other was fine and it fit the plotting and pace of the book perfectly.
Sex is part of a loving, romantic relationship, it should be part of a romance novel. It needs to fit within the plot and story line, not be added simply because the book needs the required number of sex scenes. I’ve skipped sex scenes to get back to a story that I’m enjoying and I’ve read books that have sex driving the story line.
And, when an author gets the story line, plot, sexual tension and sex to work fluidly, we get a keeper.
I’m adding one more Linda Howard to your infamous list–”The stair scene” in Son of the Morning.
Tara, it definitely is a generational thing, but I’m always struck dumb by how the same ladies who profess to not like really hot sex scenes don’t mind the forced seduction elements that some historical writers litter their pages with.
Let me give you just one example of the type of book that I enjoy reading where the sex scenes don’t take over the story: “Under the Desert Moon” by Marsha Canham, published in 1992. There is great sexual tension between the h/h, but by p. 297 there has only been one scene of actual love making. And it is a wonderful book — excellent plot, great characters, outstanding writing. It doesn’t need characters “doing it” in every chapter to make it a great read.
What is the sudden need in the industry for more and more graphic sexual scenes? As I commented yesterday, if you want respect from the non-romance reading public, IMO you are going to find it more difficult to attain as books become more and more explicit.
I think it is one of those “in the execution” things- if the sex scene fits, it fits. It will feel natural if the romance comes from the relationship. I have yawned and skipped through sex scenes that felt contrived, or as if they had been taken from a stock scene file and stuck in to pad the word count.
Another thought: since I read more mainstream fiction, historical fiction, and classic literature than romance, perhaps I notice the increased number and explicit detail of sex scenes more than someone who reads romance almost exclusively. I am not one who wants the love scenes to end at the bedroom door, although if I am reading an older book, one by Anya Seton or Jean Plaidy, for example I know that is going to happen. But on the other hand, do I really need to know every detail about some guy’s shlong? Can’t somethings be left to the imagination or are readers becoming so jaded that they need more and more sensationalism in their books?
I disagree with your thesis. I like sexy novels, but I don’t read them for the sex. I *do* read them for the story, the characterizations, the plot, the etc., etc. I just happen to like my characters very sexy, and my romantic plots to have sexual elements. Those are the characters and plotlines that appeal to me.
If I liked to read gritty suspense novels, would you say that the main attractions were the gory descriptions of the bodies, and if it weren’t, then I’d be reading cozies? No. It’s not a few graphic scenes that make a novel what it is, but how its tone and flavor is woven throughout hte entire stories.
I *don’t* like so-called “sexy” stories where the characters could be anyone in any “sweet” novel and then, boom, they’re suddenly hot and heavy. So in that part I do agree with you that it’s a matter of building sexual tension throughout — but it’s through sexy characters, storylines, situations, etc.
in my opinion people who request sexier books are looking for one thing and one thing alone. Titillation. If that wasn’t so, why would you need more sexually explicit books. I don’t read much romance, and the increase in gratuitous sex scenes is one of the reasons why.
There’s a lot of hypocrisy within this genre, and people should just admit they like the pornagraphic elemnts that some romance novels have.
I think women want it all. I know I do.
Give me a story of JUST sex and no plot, great characters or a wunderful romance, I’d pitch it in the can. Conversely, give me a story where the characters barely make eye contact, let alone descend into such sin as a kiss and I’m bored to tears. Why? Because to me it’s unrealistic.
I think readers who request a steamier read are simply looking for a dynamic story where all the pieces are put together. They want it all.
I simply want a terrific story, characters, AND great sex. I don’t always get it in the books I pick up, but it’s always nice when I do.
After reading SO much about the controversy regarding explicit sex in romances, I have wondered why these book’s possible contribution to a healthy marriage/relationship is not mentioned more. In many marriages “low libido” is blamed for lack of sexual intimacy between couples. Stress, work, kids etc. are hard on sexual relationships.
Also, some post-menopausal women experience a drop in desire that must be unhappy and frustrating for a committed couple. How many women with these problems have thought of turning to romantica/erotica to spice up their relationships? And isn’t this a GOOD THING for a marriage that is experiencing these problems? It is also cheaper that marriage counseling.
“White picket fences/sanctity of marriage crowd” meet “plausible solution”; just get past your prejudices and give it a try.
I’ll bet your husbands will thank you for it!
Before anyone hops on me by stating that it isn’t the woman’s place alone to “fix” this, I say WHATEVER WORKS.
In my opinion, readers who request sexier books are after one thing, and one thing alone. Titillation. If not, why would they need hotter books? They can argue all they like that it’s because the sex is essential in a relationship blah blah blah, but basically they’re just saying they want to get turned on by the book. I haven’t got a problem with that but I wish these people wouldn’t hide behind other reasons.
I don’t read many romance novels, and I think that the increased gratuitous sex scenes are one of the reasons why.
Kerry, You’re certainly entitled to your opinion. Even if you’re wrong
I was trying to work this exact problem out the other day for myself, oddly enough.
Personally, I wonder whether the evolving reaction to one admitting they are a ’sexual being’ has anything to do with it? We went from women being classed as mad/insane for having urges, through the ‘dirty’ phase, revolutionized it until we almost realized every woman had a right to enjoy the title, and yet these days more and more I hear the word ’skanky’ being blurted if a woman admits to anyone except her bosom buddies that she enjoys the idea of sex/her sexuality. This despite the increased exposure of sex/sexually related topics available in every damn glossy magazine, in basic pharmacy isles, ect. ect.
Peer pressure is the next thing. Get one outspoken individual in a position of power (usually in front of some sort of camera, or in a magazine of sorts), and whamo! Near instant majority population mental-shift, because damn, who wants to be the odd one out and go against what everyone else believes, eh?
Maybe I’m just blathering on here today.
Hi, my name is Natasha, and I like well-placed-hawt-sex-after-an-incredible-build-up in my Romance.
My book was recently criticized in a review for not having enough sex scenes, though reviewer felt that the ones in the book were ‘out of this world hot.’ There were three very graphic scenes which I felt were sufficient (they were also somewhat kinky). Why is it becoming impossible to write a romance where the romance and story progress at a normal pace before clothing is flying in all directions and the heavy panting starts?
Is it a generational thing? I like sex in romance novels and enjoy erotic romance as well. I’ll be 56 tomorrow so IMO it is an individual thing, not an age thing. So what if I get turned on by the book. I’ll take passion any way it appears, sexual or not, either in a book or as I do my job or whatever.
I like sex in my romances, and I also read erotica. (I have read porn, but found it wasn’t very interesting after a while and was annoyed that it was extremely poorly written. I had no desire to think about it afterward or re-read it and so it failed as a piece of writing for me.)
One thing that made me turn back to romances, after not reading them fo along time, was that it seemed to me that the sex scenes had finally “grown up.” They were no longer about rape and they reflected somewhat the actual experiences of myself and my friends.
Also, I was pleased to read women writing about sex, particularly when it was done from the heroine’s female viewpoint. (That was pretty much forbidden less than 30 years ago and I’ve already got a pretty good idea of men’s experience of sex from mainstream novels, magazines, literary fiction, etc. So I prefer to read about the heroine’s thoughts and feelings.)
Frequently, when I buy a romance, I skim until the first sex scene and read it before reading anything else in the book. I find it’s a good test of how subtly and well the writer handles the rest of the relationship. If it’s original or interesting or insightful, or the language is well handled, then I get excited and happy. This person really can write! Then I go back and read through chronologically, from beginning to end.
I have kept books that were not as well written but where the writer shone somehow in the sex scenes. But I have also kept books where the writer had a good prose style or detailed characterization but also skipped over the sex.
I need sex in my romances because it confirms the attraction the two characters feel towards each other. Sex is a big part of romantic love, and I prefer my stories with a good balance. Too little is just as bad as too much, IMO.
I usually enjoy the first sex scene in a romance the best. If the characters and situations have been drawn well and the sexual tension is working the way it should, I’m anxious for the characters to move to the next stage. And I’m always interested to see how this goes since so much emotion is tied up with the first time. I enjoy seeing how the writer handles such a scene – what are the circumstances and how does it make the characters feel and what happens afterwards.
After that, though, my interest in graphic sex scene begins to wane. If sex scene after sex scene happens between the H/h, it starts to feel gratuitous – sex simply for the sake of showing more sex. I already know these characters are attracted to each other. I already know that the sex is good. But unless something changes with each encounter shown, I don’t need to read about every time they hop between the sheets together.
Gaffney’s To Have and To Hold is a perfect example – each sex scene she shows in detail moves the characters into a new phase of their relationship. Nothing is shown that doesn’t need to be shown to move the story forward. And while she doesn’t show all the action happening between these key moments, I still assume that a sexual relationship is continuing between the H and h.
In the end, it’s kind of like there are some who prefer their hot chocolate with marshmallows and some who prefer them left out.:grin:
Sharon wrote:
Kerry, You’re certainly entitled to your opinion. Even if you’re wrong
I must disagree with you, I don’t think I’m wrong at all. The problem is nobody wants to stand up and own up to reading erotica for the sake of the sex scenes. The plots are so limited in these types of books that you can’t pretend it’s anything else other than the sex that grab readers.
I wonder if it’s a cultural thing? I can’t imagine the French having the same kind of reservations as Americans and perhaps us Brits do, when it comes to all things sexual.
I wondered about that, too, Karen. With Brits, I think we are mostly two-faced: we lurve sex — we have it almost everywhere,from Page 3 girls to, God forbids, Benny Hill re-runs, and la la. Yet to have sex graphically described in British romantic novels? *hysterical laughter* IMO, when tried, there’s this self-conscious feel to it. More kinky it is, more British it becomes.
[tongue in cheek, mind] I think that’s probably why some of us Brits are quite interested in American romances. 
Seriously, I’m quite intrigued to see two things going on at same time with some American romances: fantastic imagination and moral justifications to have it in the first place. I find that quite fascinating.
It probably also depends on how you were brought up. The women who were brought up believing that sex is something that should never be discussed in public, are probably not going to admit to reading steamy romances.
Good point. It reminds me of one poster’s comment that the very fact that sex is something that should be kept private is what makes steamy mainstream romances so attractive. Much like with ‘bad boy’ heroes or guilty pleasures. I still am not sure if I agree with her, but it’s an interesting point.
I think there are many things that contribute to the “bored†feeling some have about too much sex in romance novels.
I agree – to a point, Tara Marie. I still think it’s down to the weak build-up and/or lack of antipication. Good antipication is, IMO, the greatest foreplay to having great sex. Without it, it’s just a hump or two. :>
And, when an author gets the story line, plot, sexual tension and sex to work fluidly, we get a keeper.
Absolutely. Yet you have readers who say that sex isn’t an important part of the story. If this is true, why don’t they read kisses-only romances? They won’t, which is why their refusal to acknowledge that doesn’t make sense to me. I may be dense, though. [Thanks for the suggestion - I forgot about SON OF THE MORNING. That cropped up a lot in book discussions, espec. about keepers.
]
I’m always struck dumb by how the same ladies who profess to not like really hot sex scenes don’t mind the forced seduction elements that some historical writers litter their pages with.
Ooooh, I can’t believe I forgot to mention that.
It drives me nuts when some readers say that it’s “how it was back then”. There’s nowt wrong with liking forced seductions [I like them myself, actually], but I truly dislike it when they attempt to make it part of the “historical accuracy” issue. Hey, be an adult and take responsibility to your own fantasies, people! But that’s for another time. Good point, Karen.
What is the sudden need in the industry for more and more graphic sexual scenes?
Valid question, Anne. That’s a question I can’t answer. I know what I like and don’t like. If I say I dislike a romance with too many sex scenes, there is usually a book that comes along and slap me, proving me wrong. I hate it when that happens.
As I commented yesterday, if you want respect from the non-romance reading public, IMO you are going to find it more difficult to attain as books become more and more explicit.
I don’t agree with you on that one, Anne, because a) IMO, the number of sex scenes in a romance doesn’t really differ from those during the 1980s, b) there’s quite a few sex scenes in many non-romance novels, so why these gather respect when romances don’t?, and c) do we really care what non-romance public think of romance genre? They have been kicking it around since the 1940s [Forever Amber, anyone?]. If we get down to our knees and change the genre to win their respect, I don’t think they would be ever satisfied, not until the Romance genre is erased. Every genre has its place, and let’s respect that. Thanks for the rec of Canham’s Under the Desert Moon.
This is getting long, so I’ll take a break and respond to other posts in a mo. Thanks.
Wow, Sharon. Funny how the smilie doesn’t negate the presumptuousness of your comment.
Kerry, I’ll gladly admit that I read the hotter romances for the titillation, but I also read romances that aren’t particularly steamy. It’s not that I need to read hot sex, it’s that I want to. I think a lot of people discount the importance of that distinction. That being said though, I think it is about the story. As long as I’m enjoying the story, it doesn’t really matter to me whether the sex is ‘hott’ or not. I’m certainly not going to stop reading a book halfway through simply because the author wasn’t as graphic as I wanted her to be.
I think the gratuitous argument only holds water when the buildup of the romance is done poorly. It’s just as easy to have gratuitous sex scenes in ‘regular’ romances as it is to have them in stories categorized as hot or burning or whatever. Graphic doesnt have to equal gratuitous.
I think it is one of those “in the execution†things- if the sex scene fits, it fits. It will feel natural if the romance comes from the relationship. I have yawned and skipped through sex scenes that felt contrived, or as if they had been taken from a stock scene file and stuck in to pad the word count.
I am not one who wants the love scenes to end at the bedroom door, although if I am reading an older book, one by Anya Seton or Jean Plaidy, for example I know that is going to happen.
The thing is you are comparing apples with oranges. Anya Seton and Jean Plaidy’s books are historical novels with realistic romantic elements, not historical romances.
I disagree with your thesis. I like sexy novels, but I don’t read them for the sex. I *do* read them for the story, the characterizations, the plot, the etc., etc. I just happen to like my characters very sexy, and my romantic plots to have sexual elements. Those are the characters and plotlines that appeal to me.
Yes, but if you don’t read them for sex, why not read kisses-only romances? Kisses-only romances can be as sexy as the rest. That’s the core question of my column to which I’m struggling to find the answer.
If I liked to read gritty suspense novels, would you say that the main attractions were the gory descriptions of the bodies, and if it weren’t, then I’d be reading cozies? No. It’s not a few graphic scenes that make a novel what it is, but how its tone and flavor is woven throughout hte entire stories.
A very good point. Yeah, I can accept that as it does make sense. I admit I’m still not *that* convinced, but given time, I’ll come round.
I *don’t* like so-called “sexy†stories where the characters could be anyone in any “sweet†novel and then, boom, they’re suddenly hot and heavy.
Amen to that.
Right, it’s time for another break. God, I can be so long-winded. Sorry about that, people.
The idea that we don’t get no respect because of sex, is silly. IMHO. MANY other types of books from historical fiction, murder mysteries, horror, sci fi, women fiction, to just ol plain fiction have sex in various degrees.
No one should respect us until we can learn to respect ourselves and if you look at RWA, reader blogs, and author blogs, to RtB posts – many of us don’t respect our own readers and writers. So really why the fuck should anyone else? But that is a different post.
I want sex in the romance novels I read. Period end of story. And I am not ashamed to say that. I am American, even live in Texas. I am 29. So uh I have no clue about the generation thang.
Do I want JUST sex, not generally. Do I think Romantica is JUST sex, not generally. If you don’t make me care about your characters I could careless if they get their HEA. No matter how hawt an author makes the sexy sexy, without the basic characters to love and care about it means nil.
But give me people who I do want to know about. People who catch my attention and make me want to play in their world for a bit. And yes I expect sex, why? Well I expect sex where there is love. I expect sex where there is passion. I expect sex where there is a HEA. And I want to go on that ride.
I don’t fit into the reader that lusts after the Hero or wants to be the Heroine. So maybe it speaks to the voyeur in me. I love to hear about real peoples lives and challenges so that extends to my reading.
I see nothing wrong with sex. Sex is fun and to be enjoyed so why the hell be hung up about reading it. And I am sorry I don’t buy the omg if you read too much HEA it will screw up your life. I don’t think romance makes people go out and have crazy sex with strangers anymore than I think murder mysteries make people go out and kill people.
But who knows I could be wrong and I am rambling and must get back to work. Have Fun. Thanks for the fun topic maili.
sybil
Jay how could my comment be any more presumptuous than the remark I was responding to? Sorry, but I don’t think it’s presumptuous of me to state that someone who says all people who read steamy scenes do so for the purpose of titilation is wrong. Uhm sorry, but she IS wrong. She certainly doesn’t speak for me. No presumption when it’s the truth.
And Kerry, maybe we’re not reading the same “erotic romances” or romantica (I always get stuck in the semantics involved in correctly labeling the genre) But I’ve read some very very good erotic romances that are not merely sex scene after sex scene with no purpose. I love a good story, and if it comes in the guise of “sweet” or “erotic” I could give a flying flip.
Sorry but if I want to get my jollies, there are a million other ways than reading for titilation.
Yes, I think it’s an arrogant presumption to assume the purpose of someone reading any sort of story. It’s your opinion, and I’m cool with that, but it doesn’t make it a correct assumption nonetheless.
Yes, but if you don’t read them for sex, why not read kisses-only romances? Kisses-only romances can be as sexy as the rest. That’s the core question of my column to which I’m struggling to find the answer.
Like I said, that’s like saying you’re reading the gritty suspense novels for the in-depth description of the victim’s entrails, rather than the fact that, compared with light cozies, the gritty suspense novels contain characters, storylines and premises that you find more intriguing.
Frankly, *most* (most) kisses-only romances are not only not sexy, but unless the characters are in some repressed historical time period or ascribe to religious or cultural beliefs in which premarital sex is taboo (which, outside of an inspirational, I don’t really see all that often, wish I saw more) then I can’t buy them. I am one of the people who stopped reading hte sweet category novels when she ran across the sexy ones, because those sweet virgin heroines weren’t anyone I’d gone to highschool with. And I can’t buy the hard-livin’ Harley-ridin’ heroes who look at the heroines and can ONLY think of taking her to Sunday picnics. I know they’re thinking of that, too (that’s what makes them heroes, after all) but they’re also checking out her legs. Let’s be honest, here.
I’ve read plenty of books where there’s no on-screen sex (heck, I’m writing one!) and it works perfectly — but I’m more likely to find what I’m looking for, characterization-wise, in a book where the characters are more open about hteir sexuality.
Whether the level of explicitness is due to the author’s style or the characters aren’t having sex because it’s against their code of ethics or because they’re just too darn busy running away from the bad guys and almost getting caught in explosions — I’m all for that. Longing glances, half-finished declarations, lingering kisses. Woo-baby!
But if you’re complaining about the lack of sexual tension or build up in the (more poorly written) sexy books, I think in the (more poorly written) unsexy books it’s much worse. At least in the sexy books the author has to provide SOME for story continuity. In the unsexy books, the author skips over that part entirely, as if, since she’s not obligated to provide the payoff of a sex scene, she’s not even going to go there. Lack of chemistry (like they say about movie partners) runs rampant. At the end of a bad sexy book, I’m left asking, “What do they have in common outside of the sack?” At the end of a bad unsexy book I’m left saying, “Whaaa?”
Really, in romance, you want to be left with, “What an amazing couple.” But yes, in general, *in general* — I find that I don’t buy the characterizations plots and sotrylines in “sweet” novels. How many of us really need fake fiancees, anyway?
because the t’s the lack of sexuality at all in most of these books that fails to appeal to me.
Great topic Maili. I freely admit I love good hot sex in a romance. While I haven’t gotten as far as romantica yet, I still love a burning rating. Do I skim over them? Sometimes,yes, if I don’t feel the buildup enough. But I certainly appreciate having the option. Do I read them just for the sex? No, otherwise I would be reading straight erotica. A good love story has to go along with the sex. I must admit to being curious about Kerry’s stand though. What is wrong with titilation? What is wrong with being “inspired” by a hot book. I know my husband reaps the benefits, I benfit so where’s the problem?
And as far as not admitting to reading erotica for the sex, I don’t think that’s the case at all. I think readers of erotica freely admit that’s the main reason they read it.
And I wonder how many of these women who claim they don’t want too much sex in their romance are happily watching Desperate Housewives on Sunday nights?
Great column MÃ ili, and certainly thought-provoking, which is always good. I’m on the fence. Sometimes I like the sexy ones and enjoy the sex scenes, but occasionally I skim them. Depends on my mood, but I’d have to say if a novel was sexy and had loads of sexual tension, I’d be a bit miffed if the door was shut on me.
I think we all read for different things, but I also think we may not always even know ourselves the true reason why we like what we like, including sex scenes.
I read romances for the same reasons I read mainstream fiction, women’s fiction, historical fiction, literary classics, mysteries, and science fiction: I want to read a well-written, entertaining story that gives me something to think about for more than two seconds after I finish reading it. I don’t care if the book has a HEA ending or ends like “Romeo and Juliet,” with bodies all over the stage — if I was moved and touched and made to think then I am happy. It is the same with sex in books — I read books that are considered “sweet,” such as the majority of Zebra Regency series books, or something hotter, although my “something hotter” tends to be tame by some standards (Virginia Henley’s books are about as hot as I go).
Having said that, as I indicated earlier, I am disturbed by the trend for producing books with more and more explicit sex. Trends in books do come and go, but when they are on the upswing they tend to drive out books that don’t conform to the latest “world’s wide wonder”. Think back a few years to the days when historical novels were out of fashion, replaced by the family saga & endless series such as “Wagon’s West.” That is when I became a reader of historical romances, when I could no longer find my favorite type of novel being written. That has changed now, and straight historical are once again fashion, so I read fewer romances.
On my blog I recently commented that for me romances are like chocolate truffles — a few are wonderful, a steady diet will have disasterous results on your figure. Maybe that is the way I feel about explicit sex in romance novels — sometimes “less is more”, and I think we are still at a stage where “more is more.” And I won’t even touch the whole concept of respect from the general public except to say that yes, mainstream works do have varying sexual content, but not to the extent and nor in the extreme detail that you can find in the average romance novel, let alone the ones who fall into the romantica/erotica category. And the fact that the primary audience for this type of book is female sets us up to be denegrated by a society that in some regards still sees women as the “second sex”.
Oy. Again. Oy.
You stirred the pot didn’t you?
I love hot sex in my books. I also like no sex in my books. It has the most to do with the characters. If you give me a H/h H/H you’d better give me lovin and the motivation to get there too. Why? Sex is realistic to a romantic relationship. Even though I watched the Asexual spot on the news last night I don’t belive most readers of romance will buy into a romantic non sexual relationship. Then the author would have to make it be Sci-fi with androgenous non sexual beings. We have emotions and hormones and find people attractive and sexually desireable. That is the way it is. Otherwise no one would be here. It is a HUGE aspect of romantic relationships.
Kerry, I write romantica and let me tell you that they are freakin hard to write. Why? Because you have to have believable reasons for the sex. There has to be goals, motivation and conflict just like any other book out there, otherwise you will have a wallbanger SO there is a story there-even with a message. My stories run along the lines of the healing aspect of sex within relationships, and how couples struggle. (Not make up sex either.) Sex is a HUGE part of a monogamous relationship, it can be the glue that holds it together or the acid that breaks it apart.
Just Sayn’.
AND, thanks Maili for some new “Must Reads”.
Maili,
I’ve been pondering this one, too, for some time. And to throw my two cents into the hat, I’m not sure the gritty suspense analogy fits because the brain is wired to get a pleasure buzz from sex (dopamine), not from gritty suspense, so the hard-core crime fan is not having his brain go bzztt each time a dead body hits the floor (well, at least we hope not, although there are those…).
I think part of my struggle as a reader is that there is true romance, and it’s getting harder to find amidst the tangled sheets and swelled appendages. I just read two wonderful books, both which contained about three sex scenes each. The sex scenes were well-written, but it was the romance which I loved. Two people falling in love. Some writers write a great romance and great sex. Some writers write a good romance and great sex. Some writers write a great romance and good sex, and what I see is that a lot of writers that write a great romance and good sex are losing ground to writers that write a good romance and great sex.
p.s. I have a ten year old daughter, and as I watch her grow up, I find myself worrying more and more about society’s sexual impact on young girls, probably just like they did over Elvis’ Pelvis.
My sis reads erotic romance, as do I. We buy books and trade, she mentions which ones she thinks are the best–and by that she means a great romance with tingly sex. With the side effect of getting hubby to bed a little early.:mrgreen:
Sis buys every Blaze, every month. She makes great money and her book buying budget is much larger than mine. She used to buy them at her local grocery store, until the checker asked her,”Is this a smut book?” My sis felt quite embarassed. So she quit buying Blaze–from that store. She still buys them. I showed her Ellora’s Cave novels at the mall bookstore–she buys some of them, too, even though most are in the fantasy/paranormal realm and she prefers contemporary.
She also buys any romance about Montana–any category, sweet, spicy, it doesn’t matter. She’s probably bought Montana set romances for 10 or 15 years. Why? Because she likes them! That is the same reason she buys sexy romances. Other people may disaprove of her choices, but it is still what she likes. It is what she will spend money on
If erotic romances become untrendy, I doubt that she’ll switch to sweet romance, mainstream fiction, inspirationals or historicals. She’ll find another source for what she likes–be it underground, or on the internet, or NC17 fan fic. Others may think she should change her reading habits, but she doesn’t think she should. She doesn’t think it is immoral, or a danger to her marriage(?) or a danger to her children.
The point of my long story? Readers spend money on what they like to read, and it is pretty hard to change their likes and dislikes. The literary community can put them down for what they read, so can those that call it immoral etc–but will that change the reader’s likes and dislikes? Nope. It will just make them go download their sexy novels in the privacy of their own home, or order their Blaze straight from Harlequin.
As far as sex and young girls–I have three middle school aged daughters. A sexy novel being sneaked into the bedroom to read is not one of my major worries. I’m alot more worried about grade school friends that now are drinking, smoking and sexually active, or about the (cute)seventeen year old boy who didn’t believe my 5′7 c cup twelve year old was really twelve. Those are the kinds of things I worry about!
Becca,
Three girls in middle school? Oh, you have my sympathies. I sweat just my one.
I think I phrased my concern for my daughter wrongly. I have no problems with her choice of reading material. In fact, I think if it takes planting a playboy in the hands of young male to get him to read, it’s a positive. I don’t like censorship, and heck, I must have been ten when I read Flame and the Flower.
I think the image of the female as a slut-object in media and culture that bothers me most. It seems like after so many years of trying not to objectify women, we’re now (and I’m speaking of clothes, media, etc) going back to objectifying them again. So, after working through my thoughts, sadly, I don’t think books in today’s world can cause much of an impact on a societal change, however, I think (and this might be a paranoid mom talking) that our society might be rolling back some of the changes created by the women’s lib movement. Like I said, it might just be paranoid mom talking, but your concerns about the c-cup seem to echo my own.
Porn is degrading to women (I think) not sex in books. In fact I thinkg the opposite. I think sex in modern romances is some of the most empowering sex for women out there.
The books sex scenes are not being broadcast on prime time, they can be read at your own discretion.
Nekked 10 pound females modeling undies/what have you- can be damamging to young girls, but not romances/erotica where the sex is mutually pleasureable and empowering.
I have 6 kids. I worry too about my daughters, but funny, I don’t worry about the romances/erotica one bit. I may even give them some to read when they are an appropriate age.
It’s funny–my daughters know I read sexy romances, and write sexy stuff. I don’t let them read my writing, I have everything password protected. I’ve told them why they can’t read my stuff–it has sexy scenes in it and is written for adults. “EEWW!” is their basic attitude.
I see the sex scenes in erotic romance as being healthy and victimless–two consenting adults in a mutually pleasurable act. It is a whole different world than what a thirteen year old girl, dressed like a music video dancer, will find if she sneaks out of the roller rink to party with high school boys.
The upside to having three–they police each other. If one of my girls sneaks out of the roller rink, I’m going to hear about it. Probably immediately, thanks to cell phone magic!
Becca,
Laughing about the policing aspect. I guess there’s no greater joy than getting a sibling in trouble (I had an older sister).
I definitely need to clarify my statements. I don’t think fiction books have much of an effect on society anymore, and there was a bit in the today’s Shelf Awareness:
“In a seemingly related story, one reason nonfiction may be trumping fiction at the moment in books and magazines is because, as Adrienne Miller, novelist and literary editor of Esquire, put it to Rachel Donadio in Sunday’s New York Times Book Review, “We’re in a dark cultural moment. I think people seem to feel more comfortable with nonfiction. The tragic theme here is that literary fiction has very limited cultural currency now. Fewer and fewer people seem to believe fiction is still essential for our emotional and intellectual survival.”"
So, if anything, I think the sexier books are just a symptom of the media, not a contributing factor.
I don’t have any problems with romantica/erotica, and I don’t think people should worry about reading them, whatever motivates them to read it (heck, I’m writing for BLAZE:shock:). Briana, I agree with you about romances/erotica with females as equals being empowering . It is leaps better than the old “Don’t. Stop. Don’t stop” days…. all that said, I do worry that love is losing it’s punch and being used synonmously with sex. If I do teach my daughter one thing, I hope she learns what a truly special commodity that love is, and that as empowering as healthy sex is, having someone love you for the whole you, not just your vagina is priceless. And that’s the point that I’ve been struggling to make through three ititerations, now
I admit it, I’m a Polyanna, but that’s why I write and read romance.