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June 25th, 2005 by Beth Ciotta
Nice Girls Finish First
Beth Ciotta Icon

I’m not a shopaholic, but I confess I have a weakness for shoes and purses. Can’t own enough of them. When I saw a colorful purse emblazoned with the slogan ‘Nice Girls Finish First’, it fell into the ‘must have’ category. You know—want, need, MUST HAVE! That slogan made me smile. It made me pump my fist in the air and shout, “Go, nice girls!” Why? Because I’m a nice girl, and, believe it or not, I’ve achieved some pretty amazing accomplishments in my life, including realizing my publishing dream and snagging my real-life hero, by remaining true to my nice girl self.

These days, kick-ass heroines are all the rage—strong women with attitude. Not just in romantic fiction, but everywhere. It’s hip to have a snarky edge. It’s fashionable to stand fearless in the presence of danger. Ms. Popular is the confident heroine who kicks evil-doer ass.

Don’t get me wrong. I like reading books that feature kick-ass heroines. I even wrote one. She’s featured in my latest release and I had a blast living in her lethal high-heels for an adventurous few months. But typically I like to read stories that feature women like me. Polite women. Shy women. Women who never think of that witty comeback until it’s too late to be effective. Women who don’t know how to change a flat tire, but try. I don’t need a man to survive, but I surely like having my man around. The thought of him rushing to rescue me from the bad guys makes my romantic heart flutter.

There. I said it. I’m seduced by the idea of a man defending my honor and guarding my safety. It’s chivalrous and, yes, darnit, sexy! I’m unfashionably old-fashioned. Can I defend my own honor? Extract myself from a dicey situation? Yes. I can and I have. Nice girl does not equal weak girl. Nice girls can, and do, finish first.

Thankfully there are authors out there who still celebrate this kind of heroine. Julie Garwood is a prime example. I could name several other authors who feature nice-girl heroines, as those are the books that make up the bulk of my ‘keeper’ shelves, but just now I’ll focus on my newest discovery: Rexanne Becnel. I had the pleasure of reading an advance copy of ‘Old Boyfriends’, a Harlequin NEXT, set for release August 2005. This story features three heroines, two of whom I’d describe as ‘nice girls’. They suffer the same or similar insecurities, fears, and physical limitations as me. I could totally identify with these women who struggled to overcome emotional and physical issues. I cheered as they pursued true happiness and love through inner strength and perseverance.

That’s the thing about us nice girls. We may look like pushovers, but we’re not. We possess a fierce inner strength. We don’t slice and dice our opponents with sharp words—until they attack a friend or family member, or otherwise push us to our emotional limit, and then WATCH OUT. If a villain attacks, we may not possess a gun or martial arts training, but we’ll find a way to defend ourselves and loved ones, even if it means beaning the bad guy with a frying pan. Like I said: Nice girl does not equal weak girl.

That said, many of us go out of our way to avoid confrontation, and that includes publicly admitting that we indulge in the occasional rescue fantasy. So I figured I’d pipe up for the quiet few (or many). I, for one, will never tire of the Cinderella story, as long as it’s told in a fresh, compelling way. Bring on the social misfits, the damsels in distress. Give me a gallant knight or a chivalrous Navy Seal. The thrill factor for me in these slightly out-of-fashion tales is when the kitten transforms into the lioness. When, to the alpha hero’s horror, the heroine aids in her own escape by outwitting the villain with words or that deadly frying pan. Go, woman, go! I want a heroine I can relate to, a heroine to root for. A heroine who surprises the hell out of everybody in a crisis situation. These women exist and they’re every bit as admirable as Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Sidney Bristow of ‘Alias’.

I’m on the lookout for a new purse with a new slogan. Nice girls kick butt too!

Related posts:

  1. Intelligent Woman, Romance Reader
  2. Round One: Fight! (When Heroes & Heroines Duke It Out)
  3. Going Rouge: Makeup and the Heroine (and Hero)

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29 Responses to “Nice Girls Finish First”


  1. 1
    mary beth says:

    Go nice girls!
    Fabulous column, Beth. :smile:

  2. 2
    Mary Stella says:

    Nice girls who have to find their inner toughness are as important and vital as the tougher heroine who has to show her inner vulnerability. Great column, Beth!

  3. 3
    Beth Ciotta says:

    Glad you enjoyed it, Mary Beth.

    Very nicely said, Mary (Stella)! :grin:

  4. 4

    Beth, I love your column today. It states how I feel exactly. And I love nice girl does not equal weak girl!!! So true and I think some people forget that as they try to run you over.

  5. 5
    Robyn Harper says:

    Wonderful post. I can’t abide wimpy heroines but I still love it when the hero rides to the rescue!

  6. 6

    I love you!!! The title of my July 5th book is NICE GIRLS FINISH FIRST!! I have two protagonists; one tough chick who needs to be nicer and one too nice who needs to be just a touch firmer. They help each other and discover that nice girls really DO finish first! I’m so glad to see that other people like this theme, too.
    hugs,
    Alesia

  7. 7
    Beth Ciotta says:

    Thank you, Margaret!

    Robyn… :wink:

    Alesia, you’re kidding! How funny is that?! I had no idea. :lol: Great title. LOL And premise. Just added to my ‘to buy’ list.

  8. 8
    Allison Carmody says:

    Well, I share your sentiments (nice girls make good heroines, and rescue fantasies are a sinful pleasure), but your analysis I’m less sure about. It seems to assume that, in your analysis, a heroine has to be a “nice girl” in order to be rescued by an alpha male, which, I could swear, is the opposite of everything I’ve read that’s been published in the past fifteen years; in fact, I’m dead certain that the politically correct ending now dictates that the “nice girl” heroine rescue herself (your post implies as much in one part, too), which I suppose is the best way to show her growth. But I also think that making a heroine “kick-ass” liberates writers from this dictate, because it’s often necessary to show a kick-ass heroine’s growth by having her be rescued by the hero rather than saving the day herself. So I would argue that the emergence of this new(ish) brand of heroine is as much about setting up a plot that finally allows us to return–sort of–to the days of yore in which the hero makes the ultimate rescue, as it is about female empowerment (which, yeah, can definitely be overdone!). So, while I think you make an excellent case for the “nice girl” heroine (even though I’m an East Coast-raised, snarky-tongued, martial artist myself…sorry), I’d caution against assuming that an alpha heroine defeats the rescue fantasy element–on the contrary, I’d argue she is what makes it once again possible.

    But I enjoyed your post. Thank goodness I’m not the only one out there who still yearns for old-fashioned chivalry, and the damsel in distress!

  9. 9
    Crystal* says:

    I’m torn on this. When I was a “nice girl”, back in the day, I was also a doormat. I didn’t have that lovely backbone that we all need. Poor choices, bad marriage, etc.
    And when I developed the aforementioned backbone, I also grew testicles. Well, not REALLY. :twisted: Ya know what I mean.
    I can be as nice as the day is long. But if you are hateful and cross me, I won’t just finish first. I will tapdance on you. :lol:
    Grins*

  10. 10

    Nice is a tough one to pull off in a novel and keep it interesting. Websters provides the following synonyms: PLEASING, AGREEABLE , APPROPRIATE, FITTING , WELL-BRED, VIRTUOUS, RESPECTABLE.

    It kind of needs a little twist; a Hooker with a heart of gold, or a Cinderella waiting for Prince Charming. If it’s done wrong, you end up with a heroine who is too dumb to live. I think it’s easier to write the heroine with at least a hint of wicked.

  11. 11
    Anna Lucia says:

    Fantastic column, Beth! Go Nice Girls! :grin:

  12. 12
    Beth Ciotta says:

    Hi, Allison. I was waiting for “…an East Coast-raised, snarky-tongued, martial artist…” to speak out. LOL You wrote that I implied that a “… heroine has to be a “nice girl” in order to be rescued by an alpha male.” Hmm. That wasn’t my intention. An alpha male can rescue a kick-ass heroine (well, if she lets him :wink: ) as well as a ‘nice-girl’ (if she lets him :wink: ) heroine. I would, and do, enjoy reading about old-fashioned chivalry either way. :grin:

  13. 13
    Beth Ciotta says:

    Crystal, I know what you mean about the doormat thing. If a fictional heroine lets people walk all over her, I would hope that a portion of that story focuses on her struggles and emotional growth, leading up to her ability to ‘tap dance’ on those who are hurtful or cross to her or others. One can be nice and still have a backbone–or in your case, testicles. :lol:

  14. 14
    Beth Ciotta says:

    Cindy wrote: “Nice is a tough one to pull off in a novel and keep it interesting.”

    I agree. Absolutely. It is a challenge. But when it’s done and done well, what an exciting and satisfying read!

  15. 15
    Beth Ciotta says:

    *Waving* to Anna. Thank you! :smile:

  16. 16
    Gina says:

    Great post, Beth! :mrgreen: I’m a nice girl too. I have my snarky moments, but in the end I’m just a nice girl.

  17. 17
    Tori says:

    From one nice girl to another, great column!!!

    I may come off sounding snarky at times, but as my dad says, I talk a good fight. :lol:

  18. 18

    What a great addition to this blog! I share your tag of an unfashionably old-fashioned female who is captivated when a man defends my honor and, um, when he just helps out.

    There’s a definite sexy factor in a guy who steps up to the plate just because that’s his gut instinct.

    And I love the whole “rescue fantasy.” Always have. Always will. The best ones let me know the heroine could have saved the day on her own. But with the hero thrown into the mix? The two of them save a whole lot more.

    A high-five to the authors and editors who keep these types of stories on the shelves.

    And a salute to *you* for summing this up so perfectly.

  19. 19
    Julie Cohen says:

    I love a heroine I can identify with. In a lot of cases, that is definitely the nice girl. Enjoyed this column Beth and can’t wait to see the bag in Reno!

  20. 20

    Great article, Beth. It reminds me that the best kick-butt heroines have a soft side, too.

  21. 21
    Alyssa says:

    This is a great column! I enjoy kickass heroines, but I don’t always relate to them. I’m definitely one of those people who comes up with a perfect comeback long after it will make any difference. So I love reading about nice, strong heroines.

    :smile:
    Alyssa

  22. 22

    You are a nice girl. Nothing wrong with that in real life or in fiction.:grin:

  23. 23
    Beth Ciotta says:

    Just wanted to thank everyone who chimed in. I enjoyed reading your feedback! Have a great Sunday! :razz:

  24. 24

    Great post. I’m a nice girl :mrgreen: . I like reading them and I think most of my heroines will have at least some of that. LOL I love your frying pan example. I had a “nice girl” use a monopoly board LOL.

  25. 25
    Beth Ciotta says:

    Monopoly board! Love it, Mechele! :lol:

  26. 26

    Cindy wrote: “Nice is a tough one to pull off in a novel and keep it interesting.”

    I agree. Absolutely. It is a challenge. But when it’s done and done well, what an exciting and satisfying read!

    I was just think that same thing but related to the last Survivor. The good guy won! For the first time ever I think I didn’t feel icky watching a reality show.

  27. 27
    Pat Kirby says:

    I’m torn. Sort of agree and then, not so much.

    I enjoy a story where the hero rides to the rescue after the heroine has made some sort of attempt to extricate herself from the delemma. There’s nothing wrong with asking for [and taking] help when you need it.

    What I dislike, however, is the Disney Cinderella, who is rewarded with the Prince and magic coach for no apparent reason other than her innate goodness. Frankly, I think it sends the erroneous message that if you are pretty and “nice” enough, everything will always work out. (I have read and seen other versions of Cinderella where her character is better developed and interesting.)

    OTOH, while I think a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do, I don’t like the trend where (I’m thinking about a couple of series) the author mistakes kick-a__ for utterly without scrupples, feel no empathy, kill ‘em all mentality. I think one our greatest strengths as women is our innate emphathy and compassion.

    Basically, my ideal heroine is smart, tough, and reasonable enough to recognize that she’s outgunned and needs a little help.

  28. 28
    Anne E. says:

    As long as nice doesn’t equate with bland and boring, I’m with you! I wish I could remember the movie that the following quote came from, as it is unfortunately all too common in both real life and in far too many books: a young woman was lamenting that she hadn’t been very nice to a young man whom she liked, and an older woman said rather bitterly, “Don’t worry. Men don’t have much regard for women who treat them well.” I feel that kick-ass heroines have their place, but so do the nice girls, who sometimes do win out in the end: I’m thinking particularly of Agnes in “David Copperfield,” who was the consumate nice girl, who finally achieved her heart’s desire and married David, whom she had loved since girlhood.

  29. 29
    Josie says:

    Fantastic column! I love chivalry – even the word is beautiful to me! I like reading about the nice girl who finishes first. I also love to read books about the tough girl who can fight her own battles.

    I believe that quote is from the movie “Death on the Nile” and it was Maggie Smith talking to Mia Farrow. I’m crazy about old movies.