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When I was a kid, I was convinced there were monsters in my closet. Those shadows on the wall were actually the scary beasts coming to take me away. These weren’t the happy Maurice Sendak kind of monsters, either, and definitely not interested in friendship.

Then I grew up and realized monsters didn’t really exist in my closet. Or maybe they moved out after I became a teenager and filled every available inch in there with clothes and shoes

As a writer, however, I have noticed that I still battle monsters in my closet. This time, the closet is my mind and the monsters can be far more destructive. They sit there, just waiting for a moment of vulnerability, and then they pounce, determined to eat my creativity and my career. I’ve met a few of them; perhaps you have, too:

The Doubt Devil: This is the guy who comes out to whisper that you can’t do it. That the last book you wrote was the only good one you’re ever going to produce, that no one really reads your book; they’re all pity buys. He tells you that you can’t do it, that you’re crazy for thinking you can be a success when there are people out there who have more talent in their left eyebrow, that you should just give up and whip out the classifieds because he heard Wal-Mart was hiring.

Little Eddie Envy: Let’s face it. Though we might not admit it in polite company, all of us feel that envy. Someone else sells more copies or comes up with a cooler idea, or wins a contest or gets a better cover. Or, simply, they write a better book, one you can’t ever hope of writing. Envy takes on many forms, and can leak into everything you do. It’s hard to push that monster away, especially when you’re own career seems to going downhill faster than Picabo Street.

The Procrastination Pygmy: This is that little guy who sits on your desk, waving your list of Things to Do just out of your reach. When you go to grab it, to get to work, he substitutes a game of Solitaire or a TV Guide. He’s fast, this guy, and he can plant the idea of delaying faster than you can spit. He’s small enough to fit in your pocket and go everywhere you go so that if you think of whipping out that AlphaSmart to write at the park, he can bound over with a great view or a reminder that you haven’t called Aunt Millie in a week.

There are other monsters in my closet, too, who sometimes join in with the other three and gang up on me, knowing their is strength in numbers. They like to hit me at my most vulnerable–when a scene isn’t going well or an editor is taking WAY too long to read a proposal. Then they fill my mind with all kinds of impending disasters and worst-case scenarios.

While there are a lot of times when I am able to ignore those monsters (or better yet, use them to my advantage, by taking Eddie Envy and making him tell me exactly WHAT I wish I was doing better, so that I can work on that in the current project), there are other times when they creep out of my closet nonetheless. I’m a writer; it’s my job to imagine the worst

So, I’ve taken to learning to work with them. To accept them as residents of my mental closet and to form an alliance of sorts. When I end up procrastinating, I know there’s a reason why I was vulnerable to that pygmy. The scene isn’t right or I’m not working on the right project or I’m worried about something else. Or sometimes, I just need a break. When Envy steps in, I try to use it as a teaching tool so I can improve and reach those levels, too. Or I’ll volley back with reminders of my best own contest wins, great covers and fan letters. As for that Doubt Dragon, I often have to get firmer with him and simply tell him somedays to shut up and leave me alone.

Yes, Virginia, there are monsters in the closet. But you can learn to live with them and even make them work for you. The best part? These guys work for free

Shirley

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