I love a good romance. I love the emotion. I love the sexual tension. I love the hero.
Chances are, I hate the heroine.
What?
Yeah, I know. I’m a freak. Not long ago, I had a conversation with a friend who was stunned by the fact that I don’t read romances for the heroine. She wants to identify with the heroine, to put herself in the heroine’s shoes in order to be with the hero. She wants the heroine to be someone with whom she can hang out while they eat beer and pizza and diss guys.
Me? I couldn’t care less. Editors want “likable†characters, but of the hundreds of romances I’ve read, I’ve probably only liked a handful of heroines. Most of them I can’t stand. So why do I read romances? For the hero. I want to read HIS story. It’s all about the man. 
Scenes from the hero’s point-of-view are my favorites, so obviously, novels written entirely in the heroine’s POV do not thrill me, and I usually won’t finish them. Am I saying that I don’t want to read any scenes at all from the heroine’s POV? Not even close. I want to see the hero through her eyes, but if I don’t particularly like her, it’s no big deal. I can hate a heroine and still enjoy the book if I fall in love with the hero, but the opposite isn’t true.
I’m not sure why I tend to not like heroines in romance novels. It may be that I expect a lot from women, so heroines sometimes disappoint. It may be that I want to relate to them, but I often can’t.
I do know that when it comes to the heroes, I’m much more willing to forgive him for his mistakes, much more willing to overlook his weaknesses—but only if I can get into his head. I want to know what he’s thinking. How he’s feeling. And no matter how good an author is at SHOWING all that through the heroine’s eyes, it isn’t the same. While I can appreciate the writing, I can’t appreciate the fact that I’m not in the hero’s head.
I want to know how he feels when he looks at the heroine. I want to know that his blood is pounding through his veins, that his mouth has gone dry, that his breath is scorching his throat. I could care less what she’s feeling—unless what she’s feeling is him. 
Romance, obviously, is about two people. But when you describe a novel to people, how do you do it? Do you begin with, “It’s about this woman who…?†Probably, because romances tend to be “the heroine’s story.â€
That’s why, when I open up a book to check out the first scene, I tend to buy more often if the scene is written in the hero’s POV. I want HIS story. I want to read novels described as, “It’s about this man who…â€
So yes, give me romance. Give me scenes from both points-of-view. But I’m still not reading for the heroine’s story.
It’s all about the man.
No related posts.
Some women writers are really good at portraying men in all their guyness. Still, every time I read a scene in a male pov by a woman writer, I am so conscious that a WOMAN wrote this and that the male pov presented is probably a lot closer to a woman’s interpretation (or wish) of what a man thinks than realistically portraying how a man thinks. Mike Binder had a show on HBO called The Mind of the Married Man. Men loved it. Women hated it. I’m convinced that the heroes in romance novels are not always (or even often) accurate representations of how men really think. Having said that, does it matter? Probably not. I love romance hero types because they think the way I wish real men would.
Great post, Larissa. And I second your opinion. It’s all about the man.
I think your post is interesting, Larissa. Never thought of it that way. I do love kick-ass strong heroines, always strong heroines. But yeah, it’s the hero I really read for, but I do like a good heroine, too.
WOW…great writing, wonderful sense of humor found in some of your phrases, and nice layout…do hope you are OK with me adding you to my friends list.
Dream Dragon
I read ‘em for the heroes, too. And if I don’t like the hero, nothing else about the book will save it for me. Doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate everything else (good structure, pacing, dialog, an interesting heroine because of course she should deserve HIM), but the make-or-break factor for me is always the hero.
I can’t stand most romance heroines either – so the plot and hero have to stand out for me to finish the book.
I have a list of ‘great heroine’ books around someplace – I’ll have to dig it out again. Someone like Claire in the Outlander series (although D. Gabaldon says she’s not writing romance) Or Scarlett O’ Hara in ‘Gone With the Wind’. It’s not that they are kick-ass – they are simply well-rounded. They have depth, angst, and problems; while most of the romance heroines are ‘perfect’ and it’s the hero with the ansty problem. So I’m with you! Out with the insipid heroine – give me a gal with grit and some problems that she could care less about solving (like Scarlett’s unbelieveable egotism). And I’ll probably buy more romance books!
It looks like I’m in a minority: it’s the heroines that are the make-or-break factor because many heroes tend to be generic, which sometimes makes it hard for me to tell them apart. It seems that heroes are always tall, dark, incredibly handsome, commitment-shy, tortured, have been betrayed by someone special in the past, etc. – bordering on the same old, same new. So, it’s heroines for me.
I’m in the minority with Maili, it’s the heroines for me, too. I can enjoy a romance with a blah heroine if it has a wonderful hero, but for me to absolutely love it, the heroine has to be great.
What’s interesting is that even though I feel this way, like Larissa, I definitely want the hero’s POV, and the more the better. I used to feel there was something missing in those old romances which had only the heroine’s, and when I first read a romance with the hero’s POV it was a revelation!
Hmm – I think for me it’s MORE about the heroes, most definitely. If the hero is a jerk, I can’t get through the story. But I’ll tolerate an annoying heroine if I like the hero. Still, I wouldn’t say I dislike most romance heroines. Just those that are TSTL
:smile:
Great post!!
I think I lean toward the hero. This is a thought-provoking topic; I’m going to think about this a bit more.
Alyssa
I’m not picky, I just want it all
Could be why I’m in such a reading slump lately. I want a great hero AND a great heroine. Is that too much to ask for? I like imperfect, honest characters. Not afraid of their warts. Comfortable in their own skins. I agree with Maili, the tortured hero has become somewhat of an overdone-in-the-same-manner-book-after-book cliche. I really love a well written, angst-filled, tortured heroine though 
I grew up on the old style gothic romances, so I agree with Maili and Rosario. It’s the heroine that appeals to me. But ultimately, if I don’t like either the heroine or the hero, I won’t like the book. So it’s sort of an even draw to me. But the first thing that draws me is the heroine. Though, oddly enough, as I’m writing I tend to leap into my hero’s head quite a bit.
I tend to be a bit more forgiving of the heroes, but overall I have to like both the hero and heroine for the book to really, really work for me. I’ve read and really enjoyed books in which the woman occupies the role typically assigned to romance novel heroes. Melanthe in For My Lady’s Heart, for example, is one of my favorite heroines. She’s wounded, paranoid, arrogant and very, very independent, and it’s the hero’s gallant and nurturing streak that helps heal her. And I’ve read books in which the hero was such an ass that by the end of the book I still didn’t like him too much, but the heroine basically saved the book single-handedly. Lily by Patricia Gaffney is one of these books that immediately come to mind. It’s one of my favorite romance novels, but I just wanted to toss the hero into the drink more than once.
And I’m not sure that I need to identify with the heroine, or that I need the sense that I’d be able to hang out with the heroine in real life in order to enjoy the book. Again, to bring up Melanthe: I love reading about her, but I have a feeling we’d probably rub each other the wrong way should we meet. I want my heroines to be believable, sympathetic entities unto themselves–ditto my heroes.`
I was reading Jennifer’s comments and smiled — my heroine’s are always the ones with angst and problems. I have a heroine who’s father killed her mother; a heroine who was the only survivor of a serial killer; and a heroine who watched her sister be abducted (and subsequently found murdered). The heroes for me are the men who are strong enough to match my strong heroines.
My problem with heroines is when they’re TSTL or when they think that they can’t live without the hero. My problem with heroes are when they are bullies or unrealistically sensitive.
Great column, Larissa!
I do love the hero more. I’d rather read more about him – either directly from his POV or the heroine thinking about him or watching him perform his hero-greatness. If I had to pick between great hero/meh heroine or the reverse, I’d go for meh heroine.
However, I do have a problem liking a hero who falls in love with a heroine who I don’t think deserves him. So for that, she can’t be just anybody. She has to be special enough in her own right.
I definitely have to like both of them. I don’t need to feel like I could hang out with the heroine, necessarily, but I have to identify on some emotional level with where she’s coming from — that’s what makes it matter that she and the hero get together in the end, at least for me.
The hero, now — him I just usually want. Period.
I definitely prefer the hero’s story. I want to know what he’s thinking, feeling, etc. I find it next to impossible to relate to most romance heroines. (Probably why I have such a difficult time writing them.) The problem is I like kick-butt heroines and haven’t really come across many that I think are truly kick-butt. I want a heroine who can not only take care of herself in a fight, but one who isn’t necessarily politically correct in her language. She doesn’t say things to please people and she doesn’t worry about offending people. She’s truthful to a fault. There just aren’t many out there like that. Most heroines are nice women who are trying to deal with the problems surrounding them. Nothing wrong with those types of women. A lot of people can and do relate to them, which is what you want a reader to do. I just personally have a difficult time relating to them. Sorry for the long ramble.
I feel I’m in the minority when I say that I don’t need to relate to the characters. I just don’t. I do however have to understand them. If one of them wanders through the story acting like a moron – well I just can’t understand that
I deal with stupid people enough in my real life, so why should I tolerate them in romance novels? Something I read for enjoyment?
I also read romance novels for both characters. Believe me, I’ve read good books that were ruined because one of the characters wasn’t up to snuff – regardless of their gender. I’ve had books ruined by the behavior of both the heroine and hero. Neither one gets any slack for idiocy.
Yay! I don’t feel like a freak anymore!
It’s great to see that there are people who see romances in a similar way.
On the other hand, I DO understand those who read for the heroine, because there are times I want to hang out with a smart, capable heroine–though if I’m in that kind of mood, I usually choose something other than romance. Still, I do get it.
Thanks for all the comments–y’all got me thinking!
I read somewhere that even if the reader relates to the heroine, she secretly wants to find in the hero traits that she could love. I get attached to all the characters, but I also think the guy makes the book for me.
I don’t necessarily have to like the hero or heroine, but I do have to understand them. There are times when I will actively dislike one or the other, and it does ruin the romance for me; I think: why in the world would the hero/heroine fall in love with such an unrelenting ass/b*tch? (As long as there is some redemption to the jerky-ness I’m okay with it, though.) The same goes for TSTL hero/heroines: why?
I totally understand wanting them to boink each other, since they are both usually pretty hot–but the romance doesn’t work for me if I actively dislike a character. If I dislike both, fine: let them have each other.
Great post, Larissa — and it makes me wonder, too: do writers fall in love with their heroes (but not in a weird, psycho-Pygmalian way)? I know I get incredibly attached to my characters, but I do both of them, not just the hero. Do reading preferences reflect the writing, too?
Wendy, you’re not alone! You said in one sentence what I tried to do in three paragraphs on the comments here, and in a whole load of words in my blog. I don’t need to identify with the h/h in order to enjoy the book; I just need to understand them (and I guess respect them as well, but that has everything to do with the “please don’t be a stupid jerkface mmmkay?” thing).
It looks like I’m in the minority too. If I don’t like the heroine, no matter how good the hero is, the loses major points for me. My favourite books all have heroines who are strong in one way or another.
I’m totally hero-centric. The first time I really became aware of it was Outlander. I adored Jamie so much, and Claire just annoyed me. She wasn’t good enough for him, and she should just go back where she came from and yadda yadda yadda…:lol:
I can cope if either one is sucky. I’ll finish the book, but there had better be something to make finishing worthwhile.
Like Sharon said, I want it all.
Is it really so much to make the hero and heroine NOT TSTL and not whiny, obnoxious etc? That’s all I need to begin liking the couple.
Great post, Larissa! Hmmm, as a reader, I love to get inside the hero’s head, what he’s feeling etc, BUT I don’t want to read a long passage about how she looks…hehehhehe, I’d MUCH rather read about how he looks, how he makes her feel…what he’s doing to HER.
As a writer, I love writing in the male POV and have started 4 out of my 8 books in the heroes POV.
I’ve always been a reader who is “in it for the heroine.” And I always thought we were the minority
I find heroes even more challenging when I’m trying to write them. The men I find interesting in real life (think Jon Stewart, not John Wayne) do not really fit in w/in the mold of classic romance heroes. That being said, there are some heroes that really stand out in my mind and it usually helped that the heroine was equally strong. I guess it good there are writers and readers for each taste:grin:
I love the Hero’s point of view, too. His journey moves me. As for the Heroine, she better deserve the Hero. I can’t stand a weak Heroine. And if I feel she doesn’t deserve him, I can’t finish the book. But there have been some that have blown me away that I thought were so cool. The H and H both. Those are the ones that stay on my keeper shelf.
Hmmm… When reading, I can’t like a book where I truly hate either h/h. I tend to like book more where the hero is delicious and the heroin meh than the other way around!
In writing, in my first book, TVON, I started with the image of a woman meeting a man in shadows. In MOTN, I started with a mental image of a woman meeting a man in a mask in Venice. In my third book, it was a woman crossing a lake to a castle with a man standing on the shore. In most cases, my women are easier to figure out, but the heroes often have more emotional resonnance. I can’t say that one’s more important than the other, though!
One of my favorite books is Jo Beverley’s The Shattered Rose. The hero comes alive as a real person, with a human side that is incredibly sympathetic. I never really connected with the heroine, but the hero was so strongly written, I didn’t care.
What a great topic!
You know…I thought I was alone in this. It’s one of the reasons I like Nora Roberts so much – she gives a LOT of the hero’s POV. (I guess growing up with five brothers and then raising two sons gives some people a bit of insight into the male psyche).
When writing, I usually run things by my DH and he’ll tell me if I’m off base. I don’t want perfect men, I just want real ones.
I don’t read for the heroine’s POV either, really. Sometimes I like her and sometimes I don’t. If I do, it just makes the story that much better, but there’s nothing more annoying than heroines that are too damn perfect.
The heroine POV thing has been my issue with Bombshells…they are written solely from HER pov! BORING.
I agree…it’s all about the men.
Larissa, leave it to you to hit on such a great, pulsing nerve! LOL Super column, great conversation, I can’t resist.
I have to join the ranks of people who like both — for me, the relationship is absolutely key, and the relationship is about two people, not just one. If she isn’t worth such a great guy (or visa versa) then the entire book falls apart for me. One amazing heroine I read recently was Dr. Jessie Robards in The Orchid Hunter, but the hero was perfect too (I think the who darned book was perfect). It’s the dynamic between the two that clinches the book, and if one of them is failing, none of it works. IMO.
I am also fall-on-the-ground thankful for male POV in romance novels — I stopped reading them years back because I was tired of straight female POV and not enough sex! LOL
I wonder, though, if what people mean by “relating” to a heroine is not “identifying” but “empathizing” — you can feel something that they feel, whether it is fear, passion, bravery, etc — and so we can experience something vicariously through them because we identify with their situation, how they feel, rather than who they are?
Either way, very thought-provoking topic.
Sam
I have to add one thing — upon starting Jo Leigh’s A LICK AND A PROMISE and barely being able to put it down, all I could think of was this discussion. The heroine is so appealing, so strongly drawn, that I just love her. The hero is just perfect too, but it’s one thing to create a man we want, and another talent entirely to create a woman we’d like to be! Kudos, Jo.
Sam
Wow, this is really interesting. I wonder if it has to do with why some reject Chick Lit? There ought to be a survey or poll: which side are you on, and do you read Chick Lit? I’m willing to make a bet that those who don’t give a fig about heroines are those who are likely not to be keen on Chick Lit.
Actually, this discussion sheds some light on why many heroines of romance novels are poorly developed, especially when you compare them with heroines of women’s fiction and Chick Lit novels. Interesting.
I don’t think either one is prime for me, but perhaps I lean towards the heroine. Or at least, I like more of her POV (though definitely want both). And I need her to be sympathetic. Mostly though I need her not to be TSTL or even slightly that way inclined, and I need him not to be too alpha. I can cope with a bit alpha – though it’s not my preference – but the moment he starts telling her what to do, and she secretly likes it… I want to shoot them both.
Maili, it’s actually my theory that many women who don’t like romance heroines (like me) don’t like them because they are real. The heroes are written as fantasy men, but the heroines, because they are women written by heterosexual women, are writing REAL women. Well, a lot of women (like me) don’t deal well with other women. So…naturally, as a rule, I’m not going to like romance heroines.
I’m not saying that I CAN’T like them–I have. Just as I’ve got the best female friends in the whole world. However, as a rule, I work better with men.
Basically, if I read a romance, I’m reading to journey through the hero’s world. If I’m in the mood to hang out with a heroine, I go with Bombshells or chick-lit!
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