and I’m a romance author. I’ve wanted to be a romance author since I was twelve. Some people want to be lawyers or doctors or professors or president. I wanted to write romances.
Apparently, I should feel some shame for this. My step-mother (who is a sweet woman by the way) wishes I wrote “real books”. Two of my sisters-in-law are thrilled that I write romances and consider it a “dream career”, but one of them thinks I’m a hack and gives me that arched brow look that says, “How ridiculous.”
There’s something else. I don’t just write romance, I write romantica. On top of the stigma I get for writing “sex books”, I get stigmatized for writing “a lot of sex, sex books”. You think writing romance is bad, write romantica and even the romance writers look down on you. 
Here’s the deal: It’s hard work. Really hard.
Write “real” books? Excuse me? John Grisham puts no more effort into writing his bestsellers than I put into my novels. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not comparing my talent to John’s, I’m comparing the work involved.
I sat at my computer just like he did. I pounded my imagination out on a keyboard. I got carpal tunnel, bruised elbows from the arms of my desk chair, gained ten pounds, lost time with my family, cried, screamed, and banged my head into the screen just like John has surely done at some point in his writing career. (Okay. Maybe he didn’t gain ten pounds. *sigh* Men are just lucky that way.) Then I went through the process again. And again. And again. It’s never perfect, but I keep trying.
I read books on craft, I ask questions on listservs, I appeal to my friends who are established authors. I study, study, study. And I’m not alone. All good romance writers do this. They keep files of research and notes, they make phone calls and search the internet, they work far more hours than a person on a 9 to 5 schedule.
Writing is hard work! If anyone thinks writing romances or romantica is easier than writing any other genre, they’re sadly mistaken. Writing is a craft and it requires a level of skill, dedication, and knowledge to achieve a polished, finished product. Telling, passive voice, similar words used too close together, over-use of adverbs, poorly chosen paragraph breaks, improper comma use, bad grammar, too many dialogue tags, ending with a hook, plotting, characterization… Perhaps the average layman is unaware of the many facets required to write a story that comes alive for the reader. But trust me, as Nathanial Hawthorne once said, “Easy reading is damn hard writing.”
You may not like the story, but never doubt that the writing itself was a painstaking process. This is no different for a romance author than it is for authors writing in other genres.
Write “real” books? I do! And I’m proud of it. 
My name is Sylvia, and I’m a romance author.
No related posts.
Hi Sylvie,
As an erotic fiction writer, I get a lot of raised eyebrows! I write other genres – YA, historical, science fiction…and it’s true – I put just as much work, heart, and soul into my romantica as I do into my other books. As a writer I don’t measure how much effort I put into a book – I write because I love to write, no matter what I’m writing. I’m glad to see that others feel the same! 
I feel your pain, lol.
Jenny (aka Samantha Winston)
Absolutely! No matter what kind of writing it is, it takes a lot of brain power. And for all of you mothers out there who are writers, my hat goes off to you. Everyone knows children suck away all your brain cells.
-Michelle, mother of two (losing brain cells as we speak…)
Amen, sister! All romance authors get the “real books” comment sometime in their career, usually from friends and family. (If it’s any consolation, it’s even worse when the author writes ebooks:-). You just have to give them the arched eyebrow right back again. I’m with you… I write romance, and I’m proud of it!
Writing is extremely hard work. And the thing is, unless someone has done it–and done it right–they just won’t get it. I’m lucky to be surrounded by friends and family who are super supportive, so I haven’t had to deal with the “real book” issue, but I’m sure that eventually I will experience it–and I’ll take strength from the fact that I’m not alone.
Great attitude, Sylvia, and terrific article!
Okay, here is my deep dark confession. When I started my first romance manuscript, I’d already completed a mystery. I thought I’ll write a romance–how hard can it be? Not that I thought it would be easier than the mystery, but I NEVER guessed it would be 20 times harder. (speaking for myself here.) The mystery had a nice obvious goal–hunt down the killer. But the romance? What was I supposed to do with these people? That’s when I really started studying. That’s when I discovered, GMC and the hero’s journey.
So, yeah, I’m with you. Writing romance is hard–rewarding and fun–but hard.
Lori
yeah, I was from the “how hard can it be” school too. I just wanna go back in time and give myself a slap longside the head.
Another thing that bugs me is how some people think getting a romance published is easy.
They really think all you have to do is spit out a few pages of whatever, call it a romance, and it’ll be published. That really makes me mad. 
Sylvia, you hijacked my post for today,
, and you did a great job of it. A couple of days ago, a member of a non-romance critique group I belong to announced that HE (that’s right, he) wanted to write a Harlequin. You know, so he could get his foot in the door and it couldn’t possibly take that much time or effort! Stupid, stupid man.
Well, damn, Sylvia. There goes my fantasy that if I just sold to Brava, I’d get some real respect! It’s true, romance gets very little respect and erotic romance…geez, even a member of my RWA chapter thinks my publisher shouldn’t be recognized at all, no matter how many copies sell. It’s hard to write romance of any kind, though, really hard, and anybody who doesn’t believe that should try it!
If it makes you feel better, I hear this is also true of country music, because anybody can just write one of those little songs…
I just love the people who think writing romance is easy. Adore them. After all, one should be nice to the delusional. I’ve wanted to write romance since before I knew what it was (let’s just say I read Johnny Tremaine on an entirely different level than the rest of my class!). I’ve worked hard at it (right down to the ten pounds. Sigh.), and haven’t found success. Yet.
Here’s my question: why is writing about gruesome murder considered more socially acceptable than writing about sex? Seems to me the average person does one far more than the other.
Wendy,
Good grief! Let me know what he thinks about how easy it is six months to a year down the road.
Charlene,
I received an e-mail from a bestselling romance author who referred to Brava as “those books”, so respect is still a ways in coming. The only thing we can do is write the best story we can. I look at it like being the only girl in an all-male class, we just have to work twice as hard to achieve the same. But you know what? I don’t think that’s a bad thing. The proof is in the pudding.
It’s because sex is bad, dirty, and should never be discussed.
I used to work in a used bookstore and I couldn’t believe the kinds of comments women used to give me when I suggested they read a romance. The words bantered about were simple, stupid, plotless, unrealistic, and my favorite ‘easy to write’. After hearing the last three words, I always suggested they try to write one of those ’simple stupid books’. If they continued to bad mouth romances, I waited for them to finish and then I told them that I write them. That was always fun. The look on their faces as they tried to backpedal was priceless.
Kate, did you want me to give you a slap on the head instead??? Just say the word.
That’s what friends are for afterall.
Lori
Great column, Sylvia. A book is a book is a book, in my mind, and writing one (all those words, all those pages, all those people) is never easy. And writing about something as intimate and emotional as love, which no one has been able to quantify or precisely explain since the dawn of time…? Oh yeah, piece of cake.
And forgive my ignorance, but what is GMC?! I keep seeing this and have no idea what anyone is talking about…I think this must be one of those abbreviations I missed when I was wearing my other hat as an editor.
Amy,
Goals, Motivation, Conflict.
Great Post Sylvia.
I saw an inteview with John Grisham where he said that his wife was reading one of his first drafts and she hated it so much she threw it at him. So even he doesn’t always get it right.
As for people who can’t handle “those books,” well, all I can say is that I’m having a heck of a lot more fun in life than they are.
If I had a dime (even a penny!) for every time someone has asked me when I was going to write a “real” book, I wouldn’t have to write for a living. Great post!
Speaking as a long time reader of romance-8 years and counting-I’m very surprised to learn that Bravas are seen by some in the romance publishing world as “those books”. Aside from the erotic factor (and this varies from author to author) the writers generally address and utilize the same themes and conventions as any of the others. You would think that romance publishers, of all the lot, wouldn’t hold such unfair prejudice.
I am a romance author, an erotic romance author, and I don’t apologize for it. I love what I write, my readers enjoy it, and that’s what counts. The rest of the population can go about their boring lives, not realizing what enjoyment can be found in reading a great romance book. How it can enrich your life and give you an escape from the mundane day to day tasks. Romance comprises almost 49% of all genre paperback fiction sold in North America. That says a lot.
Having said that, more people really need to realize what romance is today, and sit down and read a dang good book!
Chey
Ah, my romantica writing friends, here you go:
http://wordworking.blogspot.com/2005/02/lipstick-on-pig.html
Whoot Whoot for romance writers. We are the most underpaid, underprivledged and reviled genre, and yet are filled with talented women like Sylvia et al.:wink: