“How in the world do you find time to write?â€
I’m asked that question quite often. Which, I suppose, isn’t surprising considering I had a full time day job, five kids, and still managed to crank out a couple books a year.
But I started thinking who was asking me. It wasn’t just writers, but people who had families and jobs and commitments and simply couldn’t find the time to do what they wanted to do – obligations devoured their time.
All writers – published and unpublished — understand what goes into writing a book. They appreciate that crafting a story takes time. When serious writers ask me how I find the time, I know they are frustrated and desperately searching for a way to increase their writing time.
Serious writers have a common goal: publication. To reach that goal, you need to write. Writing takes time. Time is finite. And because few of us have the luxury of writing with no outside distractions, we cherish each minute we find.
I was strongly motivated to create writing time. After I had my son in 2001, I realized that I couldn’t stay home if I wanted to – we had a mortgage and now three kids, we couldn’t lose my salary and make ends meet – at least not in the foreseeable future.
I was greatly disillusioned at this point in my life. I didn’t see any way out. I turned to my hobby of writing more out of a need to escape. And realized that I could turn my love of crafting stories into a career – if I committed myself.
Writing steals time from everything else. Like cleaning. I’ve always hated to clean, so it was very easy to give up my cleaning time for writing. Television? A little harder to part with, but I did it. Kids? No dice. So the time I found was at night, after they were in bed. I wrote five to ten pages on average, but when I was on a roll I could knock out twenty-five and roll into bed at two a.m. then wake up four hours later to get ready for work and the kids ready for school.
Because my motivation was strong, I was willing to make sacrifices and deal with the conflict inherent in my goal. Conflict in a writer’s life can be goal-breaking. While it was easy for me to give up cleaning, my hubby and kids sure didn’t like picking up the slack. The conflict of having a clean house is a minor example, but it can be anything – from an unsupportive spouse to a 60-hour-a-week-job to elderly parents.
I would argue that the properly motivated author will never give up. Whether you are unpublished trying to make your first sale, published and trying to breakout, or a bestseller worried that your next book will pale in comparison to your last, if your motivations are strong and your goals clear, you can overcome conflict.
What about you? Do you know why you write? Do you love it? Do you have a goal and know why you want to achieve it? Have you resolved or dealt with your conflicts? If you know the answers, you’ll never ask anyone how they find the time.
You’ll know how. Because you will have found it, too.
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Fantastic article, Allison!!!
I don’t know why I write, really. Sometimes it’s very, very hard, and it really breaks my heart… but I still *want* to do it!
Once my goal was to be published… Now my goal is to be published again, after a bit of mini hiatus. And establish myself in the *romance* and *romantica* genres, after once being a moderately big name in erotica. Sort of a reinvention, I suppose…
My motivation? See above re. still wanting to write, despite the agonies… and a burning desire to succeed, and prove to myself that I’ve still ‘got it’. And that ‘it’ can be better than ever!
The conflict? Fighting and overcoming my own self doubt, a few bits of health stuff, and a major, major glitch in my personal life. I have to steal *my* time from ‘feeling like crap’ and ‘wondering what’s to become of me’… But I really think I’m getting there, and that I can win through and grow.
And now I’d better get outta here and do some writing!
Thanks, Allison, for a thought provoking article…
Well said! Sometimes I forget how lucky I am that I can write full time now, but I well remember the days of juggling job, family and writing. The funny thing is, I thought I would be so much more productive when I became a full-time writer. But no, I just waste more time!
I really enjoyed your post, Allison. Time Management. Something so many of us struggle with. Over time I came to the same conclusion as you. It’s all about sacrifice. What are you willing to give up? My motivation to write and see my work published was strong. After publication, my motivation to write proposals and then to meet tight deadline was even stronger. I gave up cleaning (not so hard, as you said!), and television. I gave up impulse runs to WalMart or the mall. (Saved me time AND money). The hardest thing to give up was socializing with friends. When on deadline (and I’ve had three back to back) every minute counted. Luckily, I have an understanding husband and friends. As I have a small break just now, I’m trying to catch up on cleaning and socializing. I like the socializing much better.
I have three (soon to be four) kids, but two are in school now and I am a stay-at-home mom, so I do have some free time. But I agree… cleaning is easy to give up! Most of the time I’m writing, I’m uncomfortably conscious I really ought to be vacuuming or dusting. But writing is more important to me, so I try not to let the niggling desire to clean bother me too much. And I’m quite successful… my house is always a disaster area:-).
Wendy you can overcome your fear. It’s hard, because fear is conflict and conflict is goal-breaking. Unfortunately, writing is such a solitary activity that we often only look to ourselves for motivation. Make sure you have a writing friend, in personal or cyberspace, to help get you through the self-doubt hurdles. Good luck — you’re going in the right direction.
Kara — ROFLOL — I have so much LESS time now that I have three kids at home (two in school). Funny thing is, my house is cleaner because the babies don’t let me write during the day. But I can spend more time blogging . . .
Beth & Ellen — thank God I’m not the only one who hates cleaning. I thought I’d missed that gene when I’d been conceived. My secondary goal is to make enough money writing to hire a weekly housekeeper. Oh, to dream . . .
Great Post Allison! I need to manage my time better. I used to be good at it and then it slipped away from me.
Excellent post, Allison. I’ve got the same problem–no kids yet, but a very demanding 45-hour/week job. (Fortunately, teaching gives you gooooood holidays.) I’ve given up all but the most necessary cleaning, given up cooking complicated food, given up television, and given up a lot of socialising–all to find time to write. The cleaning, I don’t miss, although I feel quite guilty about it sometimes, when the dust bunnies actually start to attack. After Shirley’s post earlier this week, I’m wondering whether I should watch more television, too….
However over the past year I’ve found myself *so* motivated to write, that I’ve forgotten to do some of the things I shouldn’t give up…like spending time with my husband, and exercising, and keeping up to date with my friends’ lives. Using my school holidays to relax, rather than spending 10 hours at a time working in stories.
(I’ve always been rather an obssessive person. Ahem.)
The problem isn’t finding time to write, sometimes…it’s finding time *not* to write, too.
Excellent post, Allison! I, too, started writing as a creative hobby/outlet to deal with stress. Now i couldn’t stop if I wanted to. This year is about balance for me. In the last couple of years I got really, really stressed about a number of things, and the same time my focus on writing increased–to the detriment of many aspects that enrich my life (keeping physically fit, time with friends and family, and also ‘me’ time).
Now I’m finding a little time for everything, and am much more happier. But writing will always remain a priority. It just can’t be *the* priority, at least not the majority of the time.
Goal – writing a better book each time. Motivation – because I have to write, and if I’m going to write, I’m darned well going to write GOOD. Conflict?
Well. I’ve had times when I wasn’t writing because I was too sick, too tired, too stressed. But I got better, found out the tired thing was related to the sick thing, and started learning how to compartmentalise the stress so it didn’t bleed into all of my life.
But like my hard working friends Julie and Jaq, now it’s all about balance. Too many things (reading, spending time with DH, exercise, relaxation) used to be labled ‘wasting writing time’ – now I need to learn to fit all those things into my life.
I CAN have my cake and eat it. I just may not have time to ice the bugger.
Ice the bugger. That’s it.
So many times we put aside the things in our lives such as writing because of those things we think are a priority. But writing is as elemental to me as my family and without it I am not a whole person. My goal is to write books that people cherish and want to continue reading. My motivation was a mom who believed that I could do anything I set my heart to and my conflict is that I will never have enough lifetime to tell all of the stories that I have in me.
Beth, I just had to respond to your post because of your motivation — your mom. I’m dedicating my first book to my mom because she ALWAYS believed in me. I haven’t told her, I thought I’d surprise her when I give her a copy.
I’m not surprised that there are so many of us in the same boat, but that’s what makes us women — we wear many hats, most of them important. We’re moms and daughters, wives and employees, sisters and friends. Even those of us who don’t write are still pulled in a million directions that the things that bring us personal joy, outside of our family, are often put aside for the sake of duty.
My family will always come first. Then my writing. Everything else can take a back seat, because we can’t do everything and stay sane.
Thank you all for sharing your stories. They are inspiring.
Allison
Thank you, Allison. I feel very strongly that for those of us who write every day and make the sacrifices that go along with making our dreams a reality, that we are writers. Not aspiring writers, published writers,unpublished writers, but writers. And as someone who lost her mom a year and half ago, don’t wait to tell your mom… tell her now.
You know, I’m fascinated by the “how do you find time” comment. I’m a full-time writer, so I don’t get the question about writing, but I am asked this about reading and scrapbooking. The answer is that I don’t find time; I make it. Everyone makes time for things they are willing to invest themselves in.
Interesting blog topic, thanks!
Alyssa
Really inspiring, Allison. Even though I quit my job last May–YAY!!–life still gets in the way and sometimes I’m squeezing in the pages. I remind myself that if Allison can make time, so can I. And, hey, what a great excuse for a messy house.
Alyssa — you’re right on the money — Everyone makes time for things they are willing to invest themselves in (boy, I wish I could have said it so succinctly!!!)
Edie — clean houses are overrated
Allison
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